by Kariss Lynch
He checked his watch. Zero five hundred. He’d have to hustle to watch the sunrise with Kaylan before she went to work. He sprinted the last quarter mile to his Jeep, pulled the key off the tire, and turned the nose toward her house about fifteen minutes away. He knew he’d find her on her front porch in the rocking chair, writing in her journal and reading her Bible, her hair wet from a shower.
Tedashii’s “Make War” song blared over the speakers as Nick drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. The lyrics reminded him of how much he’d distanced himself from his past—a college playboy and party jock, the guy who knew how to have a good time and didn’t care who he hurt along the way. But man, Jesus was good. The day it finally clicked had been Nick’s sunrise moment, and he refused to go backward.
The wind cooled the sweat on his brow as he drove. He ran a hand over his face, feeling the stubble and knowing it would be a while before he picked up a razor. Kaylan liked a little scruff, and he enjoyed not worrying about shaving when on a mission. He guessed it was the California hippie in him.
He exited the highway and turned onto her street. There she sat, third door on the left, her porch screened in, but open to sight. The stone and stucco house was a far cry from the rustic lake house her parents owned in Alabama, but she and Megan made it home.
Her auburn hair had grown longer, and he loved the loose waves. He chuckled at her awful posture as she bent over her Bible, her leg tucked under her on the chair. “Hey, hey, beautiful.”
Her smile melted his heart. Man, he loved this woman. She opened the door and flew into his arms. “You smell sweaty.” Her laughter joined his as she leaned back to look into his eyes.
He swooped in for a kiss as the sky turned a deep turquoise in the blooming light. When he pulled back, they were both breathless.
“You sure know how to start a girl’s day.”
“Only yours, Kayles.”
“You mean you don’t have a date to watch the sunset with some chick tonight?” Her mischievous smile lit her emerald green eyes. “That sure is good to know. I don’t share well.”
“Brat.” He poked her ribs, and she jerked away, giggling.
“Don’t be mean, or you can’t have your coffee.”
He stalked her and backed her into the railing, his fingers striking all the right places on her ribs.
She squealed. “I give. You win!” She jerked away from him and opened the door to the house. “I’ll get your coffee.”
“Oh, no, you won’t. You’ll spit in it or something.”
“Me?” She threw a hand to heart, but he knew better than to trust that innocent look. Her brothers had trained her well. She did not back down from a challenge, and she knew how to give payback.
“I’ll get my own coffee, thank you very much.” He kissed the freckles on her nose as he squeezed past her in the doorway, careful not to wake Megan as he grabbed a mug and poured his coffee.
Nick took a sip, enjoying the steaming, black brew. Pure adrenaline would keep him going until he left. Time with Kaylan was too short and too precious. He glanced at the waterproof watch on his wrist as he slipped back onto the porch. He would need to leave within the hour. A lot of plans still had to be made.
Kaylan patted the spot next to her on the loveseat, and Nick sank down next to her, immediately tugging her tight to his chest. Light spilled over the houses across the street to the east. The sunsets definitely trumped sunrises in California, but Kaylan insisted on her morning routine.
“When do you leave?” The mood immediately changed in the warming air.
He kissed her forehead, smoothing her damp hair from her face. “Tomorrow.”
She turned her face to meet his, and he sensed the growing unease as her bright green eyes darkened a shade. “And when will you be back?”
“Kaylan, you know I don’t know that.”
She nodded, turning away from his gaze, but not before he saw tears. He shifted on the seat. “Babe, look at me.”
Her eyes met his again, and she blinked away the moisture, swallowing hard. He silently willed her through it. Attagirl.
“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.
He ran his fingers through her hair, down her cheek, over her lips. His eyes never left hers, memorizing every feature. He knew this would never get easier, but he knew he would feel more confident knowing that he didn’t have to leave her side when he came home. He was ready to share a home and a life with this woman. He tilted her chin up and met her lips with his, hungry to hang on to this moment.
Every nerve came alive as his hand drifted to her neck, pulling her face closer to his, deepening his kiss. He didn’t want to stop, wanted to stay like this forever. He tasted the vanilla coffee creamer on her lips, and his senses swam with the smell of her flowery shampoo. His grip tightened just as Kaylan pulled away.
“Slow down there, surfer boy.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, not quite meeting his gaze.
He ran a hand over his face, a nervous laugh matching her own. “Sorry. Not sure where that came from.” His breathing came heavy, and his heart sank as he realized old patterns died hard. He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the seat. “Let’s walk to the park.”
“Nick, it’s Sunday.”
“Kayles, it’s not even six yet. We’ll be back in plenty of time. Besides, I can’t stay long anyway.”
The walk took several minutes, and Nick’s desire cooled in the morning air. They walked hand in hand, and he enjoyed the simple pleasure of her fingers threaded through his. She trusted him. After his past abandonment, her struggle to let go of Sarah Beth, the renewal of their relationship, and her move to California, she trusted him fully. He treasured that confidence.
“Want to know a secret?” Her smile made the morning light shine brighter.
“I’m always up for a juicy secret.”
“As a little girl, I always had this picture in my head of finding my guy and just fitting like lock and key. Maybe that’s dumb. I’m not into the idea that there is only one person in the whole world for me. But I liked the idea that I would know because we would just fit together.”
He smiled to himself. He loved when she broke down the remaining walls with him to share the romantic, vulnerable pieces of her heart. That still came as a challenge to her. He squeezed her fingers.
“I think it’s a perfect fit.” Truthfully, her hand fit his like it was made for him. He kissed her fingers. “You know, if my team ever sees how sappy I am with you, they might lock me in an institution somewhere.”
She paused as they stepped onto the playground. Plastic jungle gyms and a swing set surrounded them. She sidled up to his side and placed a kiss on his cheek, her breath caressing his face. “I won’t tell,” she whispered. She laughed and pulled back. “But don’t go getting all macho around me just to save face. You’re soft as a gummy bear when you finally let that thick armor down.”
He winced. “A gummy bear?”
“Would you prefer teddy bear? Those are soft and cuddly and . . . ”
“Nope. I think gummy bear is slightly more masculine than the other option. But we still need to come up with so
mething else.”
She used his arm for balance as she slipped her shoes off and wiggled her toes in the sand. He led her to the swing and sat down in the one next to her. Quiet fell as they propelled themselves into the air.
She broke the silence. “You know Sarah Beth and I loved to swing when we were little. We used to see how high we could go, and we sang this song about a rainbow as we flew back and forth.” She went quiet a moment, and for the first time he noticed the faint dark circles under her eyes and the almost wild sadness that she seemed to hold at bay. “It’s crazy how quickly it ended, how one day she was there, and the next day gone. There aren’t any guarantees.” She dragged her feet in the sand, bringing her swing to a stop. “I mean, what happens if you don’t come back, Nick?”
A hint of the old bitterness crept into her voice. He jumped from his swing in midair, landed, and turned to stand in front of her. “You knew that was the risk you took dating me. I’ve never lied about it, Kayles.” He ran his fingers down her cheek. “I love you. I want to build a life with you. Wake up every day together, have a family, grow old and fat and gray.” He shrugged. “Okay, maybe not fat.” Her gentle smile encouraged him. He loved that she still blushed.
“But you will have to decide if you can handle this. Kaylan, I believe with all my heart this is what God’s called me to do. I want to protect those I love, this place that I love.” Passion filled his heart as he thought about his team, and he felt proud to be a SEAL to serve his country, his state. To serve her.
He linked their fingers. “I want to protect you. But that involves sacrifice on my part and on yours if you choose to embrace our journey. It means partnering in something bigger than ourselves.” He bent down in front of her. “Are you willing to do that?”
The blue sky hung like a canopy over them as he kept his gaze locked on hers. She leaned forward and rested her forehead on his. “I would do anything for you,” she whispered and cradled his face. His breath caught at her gentle touch. “You are more than worth it. Just be patient with me. It’s hard.” She leaned back to meet his eyes. Determination colored her tone, and her gentle hold on his face firmed. “But I can do this.”
He pulled her out of the swing and into his arms, kissing her again until they needed to draw back for breath. Reality rushed back in with his ringing phone.
“What’s up, Bulldog?”
“Time’s up. Need you back, ASAP. We may be able to see Kaylan one more time before we fly out.”
“I’ll be there in half an hour.” If traffic wasn’t bad and he sped the whole way.
“I’ve gotta go.” He and Kaylan hurried back to his Jeep, the air now stuffy and the neighbors waking for church or yard work. He pulled his keys out and leaned in to kiss her cheek. “Come by tonight? It may be late. I’ve gotta throw some things in a bag before we head out.”
“I’ll let myself in and wait.”
He climbed in the car and started the engine. Kaylan leaned into the window. “Hey.” Her green eyes pulled him out of work mode for a moment. “Go save the world.”
He grinned and backed out of the driveway, his nose toward his next mission.
Chapter 4
KAYLAN CHANGED INTO a sea green top and flowing beige skirt for church, snatching clothes off her floor as she went. She wished Megan would go with her. After such a short time in California, Kaylan still hadn’t made many friends. Truth be told, she struggled with the idea. She knew to love meant risking her heart, exposing vulnerable places she only allowed the Lord and her family to touch. Despite everything, she wanted a life in California, especially if she and Nick moved forward in their relationship as she hoped.
Still, no one could ever replace Sarah Beth. Kaylan still remembered her bubbly laugh and all the late-night movies and study nights in college. She remembered ballet recitals and their first *NSYNC concert in seventh grade where they’d screamed and cheered until the final note. A small smile tugged at her lips accompanied by the sting of tears.
“No.” She shook her head and blinked back the tears. “No more.” She tossed a pile of laundry in the hamper and then turned to her dresser, intent on finding the necklace Nick had given her. The story behind the lily medallion set her heart racing. His words from the dance studio still reverberated in her mind: “The lily symbolizes everything beautiful and pure. It embodies you.”
“Where is it?” She sighed in frustration and ran her fingers through her hair, turning in a slow circle. She wasn’t exactly neat, but she wasn’t a slob either, and she took care of her things. She fumbled through the jewelry on her dresser again, matching earrings as she went. No sign of the lily.
Her eyes darted to the clock, and she groaned. Even if she left now, she would be five minutes late. She snatched her purse from the floor, bumping into the dresser in her haste. A frame fell and landed with a soft thud face down on the floor.
“You can wait,” Kaylan huffed as she hurried from the room and out to her car, making plans to search for the necklace as soon as she got home. She wouldn’t tolerate losing one of her most precious possessions because of messiness.
After a couple hours searching off and on, Kaylan finally admitted defeat. Her necklace had disappeared, but she would find it after Nick left. Instead of going crazy searching, she went over to Nick and Micah’s house and began to clean. She vacuumed and dusted, washed their laundry, and emptied the refrigerator of perishables. She even watched a movie before turning out the lights.
Now, Kaylan lay curled on the brown leather couch in Micah and Nick’s living room, the night hours stirring nostalgia and dreams. The digital clock on the end table read a little after two in the morning. As she burrowed further into the couch, she thought back to their time on the beach only two nights before. She still couldn’t believe that Nick had whispered those three little words beneath the California moon. Goose bumps trickled down her arms as she remembered his gentle touch and the love in his blue eyes. His laughter as he dunked her in the ocean still set butterflies to flight in her stomach.
He loved her. That knowledge drew her toward him more than she thought possible. In that moment on the beach it was as if a thousand invisible threads stretched between them, binding them. No matter the distance, she could feel their tug and knew it would take an act of God to slice through them. But she couldn’t say it back, and she wasn’t sure why. Something restrained her, and until she identified that thing, she would remain silent.
She curled tighter beneath the blanket and wondered when they would be home. She’d given up on the idea of packing for them. Since she had no idea where they were headed, she wasn’t sure what clothes to pack or how many. Maybe watching the clothes selected would at least tell her the climate. She planned to spend time watching the news for anything weird while they were away, guessing and wondering where they might be.
The key scratched in the lock and Kaylan bolted upright. She squinted toward the door, her sleep-laden eyes adjusting to the light.
“Hurry, Hawk. We’ve got to be back in an hour. Time to roll.”
“Just got to toss some things in my bag. I’m ready to catch this . . . ”
Kaylan cleared her throat, and Nick and Micah whirled, fists clenched.
“Whoa. It’s me.” She chuckled and turned on the lamp
. “Y’all are not instilling confidence in me. If I can catch you off guard that easily, what about the bad guys? There’s only one solution.”
Nick leaned over the couch, his smile adding to the light. “And what’s that, gorgeous?”
Kaylan sighed and shook her head, the butterflies in her stomach taking flight again. “Take me with you. Clearly I’m the only professional here. How will you survive?”
A storm rolled over his blue eyes, and she sensed a thousand thoughts jockeyed for prominence in the stretching silence. Behind Nick, Micah crossed his arms with a smirk. It spoke volumes that he accepted their relationship as he watched their battle of wills play out. Nick beckoned her closer as he leaned toward her, his warm breath tickling her ear and sending shivers down her spine. “Not a chance,” he whispered with a quick peck on her cheek. “Come sit with me while I pack. You can drop us off.”
Kaylan forced her body to rise from the couch, her early morning catching up with her. Her rotation with her dietetic internship had the potential to be brutal the next couple of days as she caught up on sleep. But she wouldn’t trade this time as she saw her heroes off.
She stifled a yawn as she entered Nick’s room and plopped down on the edge of his bed, her back finding the wall.
“First things first,” Nick said as he tossed his bag on the bed. He leaned down and tipped Kaylan’s chin up, his lips meeting her own with a passion and determination that both scared and thrilled Kaylan. She wondered if deployments might possibly keep things fresh in their relationship. She would always miss him, but his homecomings would be even sweeter.
He pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on hers. Living in the same state, let alone within close driving distance, was new to their relationship, every moment precious.
