Withholding Nothing

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Withholding Nothing Page 20

by Victoria Bright


  “Ashton,” my dad called out. I blinked and looked at him. “Can you pass the pepper?”

  “Oh, sure. Sorry,” I mumbled, grabbing the pepper shaker and passing it to O’Shea, who passed it to my father.

  We'd spent the rest of the evening chatting about different things, O'Shea’s family, Dad's car collection, and things going on with Savannah at school. I'd noticed how my mom would watch O'Shea and I, a small grin on her face as if she could see what was going on between us. I wasn't doing anything in particular, but the way O'Shea looked at me or when he smiled definitely revealed a lot more than he probably thought he was.

  "So Ashton, I've been thinking a little while and your father and I came up with an idea," my mom suddenly said.

  "What's that?" I asked, biting into a biscuit. I had to stop myself from the moan that was bound to come from my lips as the flaky, buttery bread excited my taste buds.

  "So I remember how you used to love helping me decorate when you were younger."

  "Yeah, I remember that, too."

  "Why don't you go into interior design? You were always so good at it," she said. The bread now felt like cement in my throat as I tried to swallow.

  "Um..." I started. Things kind of derailed after high school. Steve went off to college and I had no idea what I was going to do back then. It seemed like my life was consumed with drama of questioning him about the girls in his dorm room or all the parties he went to, so much so that I was more focused on him than myself. I'd put my own goals to the side, opting to support him and make him happy. I thought about taking some kind of course for interior designing, but after that whole situation with Steve, I had no idea how I'd even get clients in this town.

  "Well?" my mother asked.

  "I don't know. I’d been thinking about it lately because of my job situation, but I don't have the extra money to invest in training," I admitted softly.

  "I think you'd be good at it," O'Shea added, scooping a spoonful of vegetables into his mouth. "You decorated the apartment nicely."

  "She decorated my room. It's so dope," Savannah quipped.

  "Thanks, sissy," I said, giving her a small smile across the table.

  "And if you're anything like your mother, you'll definitely be successful, honey," my dad added.

  "But I wouldn't know who to work for—"

  "Yourself," my mother interrupted with a smile. I looked at her with a raised brow. Did they forget about my money situation? I was struggling to pay my bills; there was no way I could add business expenses on top of that.

  "Mom, businesses take start up money and all that. I'm really not in a position to shell out money at the moment."

  "Oh right," she said with a slight frown, but quickly recovered. "Is your credit decent? Maybe you could apply for a business loan."

  "Business loans have to be paid back. I'm already trying to pay off Steve."

  “Well, it doesn't hurt to try, honey.” She snapped her fingers. "Speaking of Steve, I saw him the other day at the grocery store. It looked like the man had been in a terrible accident!"

  O'Shea snickered beside me. "Oh, he was in an accident, all right."

  "What does that mean?" Savannah asked, cocking her head to the side.

  "Let's just say that he and I met and it wasn't on the best of terms," O'Shea admitted, which piqued my dad's interest.

  "Oh yeah? What happened with that?"

  "Ashton and I went out and met up with her friends for drinks and the prick was there. He came over to Ashton and I and insulted her while calling me the N-word."

  My father clenched his hand into a fist, trying to refrain from pounding it on the table. "That cock-sucking bastard," he growled.

  "Phillip, language!" my mother warned with a pointed look.

  "I can't stand that kid or his family. Who does he think he is to insult my daughter more than he already has? He's lucky it wasn't me that was there that night. He would've been in a wheelchair by the time I was done with him."

  "It's not a big deal, Dad. I'm so over Steve at this point," I mentioned, picking at my food.

  "Over him? That's great to hear, honey," my mom mentioned, looking genuinely surprised. My cheeks warmed as I turned my attention to my food. I almost wished this dinner would hurry up and end.

  ∞∞∞

  After dinner, the guys headed back out to the barn, Savannah went up to her bedroom, and mom and I cleared the dishes and took them to the kitchen. We worked in silence for the most part, putting the leftover food in Tupperware dishes and placing them in the fridge.

  "Are we handwashing these or putting them in the dishwasher?" I asked after I scraped the last of the mashed potatoes into a plastic bowl.

  "You can stack them in the dishwasher," my mother said, sticking the pitcher of tea in the fridge. "So you're over Steve, huh?"

  "Yep," I said, keeping my eyes away from hers.

  "I see. Does it have anything to do with your roommate?"

  I turned and looked at her, my brows knitted in confusion. "What makes you say that?" I asked.

  "Because just a few weeks ago, you looked as if you were on the verge of another breakdown the day we saw him in court. It's completely fine if you've moved on, darling. O'Shea seems like a nice guy."

  "Yeah, well, that isn't the case. I've just seen Steve for who he really is and can now say I've dodged a bullet," I replied with a shrug, although it wasn't entirely true. It did seem the more feelings I developed for O'Shea, the more I loosened my grip on the residual feelings I had for Steve. Even when the bar fight happened, I was more embarrassed than I was upset. But I was embarrassed of what he'd said to O'Shea, thinking that my drama with my stupid ex was going to cause him to run away. But to see that he instead fought for me was what brought tears to my eyes.

  My mom walked over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Ashton, do you remember that I gave birth to you and know you inside and out?" she mused. I fiddled with the roll of plastic wrap, unable to meet her eyes. "You wear your heart on your sleeve. That's what I always admired about you. But it also makes me scared for you too because it makes it easier for you to be hurt. I was just telling your father that I wouldn't be surprised if the two of you end up together. You both have chemistry that it seems like neither of you are admitting to each other."

  I shook my head. "It's too complicated right now."

  "If you're over Steve, why is it complicated?"

  "Because he had a bad breakup, too," I admitted in a whisper. "He proposed to his ex and she rejected him in front of everyone. So he told me that he wasn't looking for anything right now. I don't want to tell him how I feel if it's just going to backfire in my face."

  She rubbed my back and gave me a sad smile. "Sometimes you just have to take a risk, honey. The worst he can say is no."

  "But I can't handle no right now." Tears burned my eyes as my insecurities rose to the surface. As much as I liked him, I couldn't handle another rejection. I didn't want to feel as if I wasn't good enough for him because he thought I was damaged from my past relationship. I didn't want to feel as if he were going to hold the decisions of his ex against me. I couldn't blame him for how he felt; he probably thought I was doing the same thing to him.

  "There's no rush right now. I'm sure you two are still getting used to each other," she said with a small smile. I willed myself not to blush. Oh, we've been getting used to each other, all right.

  ∞∞∞

  O'Shea and I thanked my parents for dinner and finally left the house later that evening. The gravel crunched under our feet as we walked over to his truck. The summer air was humid, little breeze in the air as the grasshoppers chirped and the horses neighed in the distance.

  "Tonight was cool," he said as we walked.

  "Yeah, it was."

  "I would've loved to grow up in a place like this."

  "Yeah, it was nice. Really peaceful and beautiful," I said.

  We got into the truck, noticing my parents standing in the doorway wav
ing at us as we left out the circle.

  "Your sister is funny," he said once we were on the road.

  "She definitely says whatever is on her mind," I mused, thinking about Savannah's wheelchair comment.

  "You look like your mom. She's hella beautiful."

  I looked at him with a smirk. "I'll be sure to let her know."

  "I mean if she weren't married—"

  "Please don't finish that sentence," I said, holding up a hand. He chuckled.

  "Suit yourself, sex kitten."

  We were silent for a few minutes. My mind went back to what he'd almost said in the loft and what my mom said to me in the kitchen. It was hard trying to weigh the pros and cons of telling him how I felt. If he didn't feel the same, it could make things super awkward around the apartment. If I decided not to tell him at all, it would do nothing but eat away at me until I eventually drove myself crazy.

  "Can I ask you something?" I mentioned suddenly.

  He glanced over at me briefly before turning his eyes back to the road. "What's up?"

  "When we were in the loft...what were you going to say?" I asked. His handsome features tensed a bit.

  "Hmm..." he mused. The silence surrounding us seemed deafening as I awaited his answer. Nerves and butterflies collided in my system, waiting on bated breath for what he would say. "I don't even remember."

  "Oh," I said, a bit disappointed. Maybe it wasn't as big as I made it out to be, but for now, I'd just keep my feelings to myself.

  ∞∞∞

  Things fell into a routine with O'Shea and I over the next few weeks. We ate dinner together, hung out and watched movies, went to the arcade a few times, and had a bunch of spontaneous sex that left me weak in the knees. We currently sat together on the couch, my legs over his lap as we watched a movie.

  "You know what I just realized?" he said.

  "What's that?"

  "I owe you rent tomorrow," he said with a smile.

  "Oh wow. I have no idea how that didn't cross my mind," I mentioned. How did two months pass so quickly? "And to think, I totally didn't think you'd last this long."

  "Yeah, because you had such little faith in me. My heart is broken into a million pieces," he stated dramatically.

  I playfully kicked him. "Oh hush. You weren't the easiest person to live with at first.”

  "I'm just saying," he said, just as his phone buzzed. "I'll be right back."

  I moved my legs from his lap and watched him as he stood, heading toward his bedroom as he answered his phone. "Hey, Ma," I heard him say as he disappeared down the hallway.

  I turned back to the TV with a small sigh. So much had changed in the last two months. I went from completely despising the man to moving him in as my roommate and now I was...in love with him? Ever since that night in the barn loft at my parents' a few weeks ago, he made no initiative to tell me whatever it was that he was going to tell me that night. Despite that, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

  He returned to the living room a few minutes later, joining me on the couch and putting my legs back over his lap.

  "Everything okay?" I asked.

  "Yeah, it's cool. She's supposed to be coming up here tomorrow, which sucks because I'll be at work all day." He sighed. "But of course she doesn't listen when I tell her not to do things at the last minute."

  "It's fine. I'm sure I can help them find something to do until you get home."

  He looked at me, his eyes widening in surprise. "You'd do that for me?"

  "Why not? I should probably show them that we do something other than sit at home all day. They'd be bored to tears."

  "Now you and I both know that even when we sit at home all day, we definitely aren't bored," he teased, a grin settling on his lips as he rubbed my thigh.

  "Yeah, but I'm sure you wouldn't want them to know about that," I tossed back with a smirk. He nodded with a chuckle.

  "You're right. Then they'll think something is going on between us," he mentioned. The innocent statement stung as I processed it. But he's right. You two aren't dating. I gave him a small smile and turned my attention back to the TV, trying to ignore the confusing feelings that I couldn't pinpoint. I felt disappointed, but really had no right to be. It wasn't like I told him how I felt and we weren't dating. I was just his roommate; that's it.

  I looked at the clock and forced a yawn. "I'm kind of tired. I think I'm going to head to bed," I said, taking my legs off his lap. When I stood, he grabbed my hips and pulled me onto his lap.

  "How tired are you?" he asked, nuzzling my neck.

  I giggled. "What kind of question is that?"

  "One I'm asking you for another reason," he murmured.

  "Do you want something?" I purred.

  "Maybe. But it depends on how tired you are."

  "Depends on what you have for me."

  "How about we go to your room and I show you?" he asked. For the first time in our arrangement, my heart and mind were conflicted. My mind agreed with my body, wanting to feel his touch and tongue on me, and his cock deep inside my core. But my heart was confused and tired of the cat and mouse game with nothing in return.

  "Um...." I pondered as he kissed my neck.

  "Um...." he mimicked in between kisses. I sighed and shook my head.

  "Not tonight," I finally said. He looked up at me, his forehead creasing slightly.

  "Something wrong?" he asked.

  "No, not at all. Just kind of want to go to bed tonight," I said with a sheepish shrug. He nodded and kissed my forehead.

  "No worries. I may be gone when you get up, but I'll see you tomorrow then. If my mom comes early, I'll call you. Is it okay if I send her here? I'll probably come by on my lunch break if she's here by then."

  "Yeah, that's fine," I said and got off his lap. "Good night."

  "Good night, sex kitten."

  ∞∞∞

  I jumped out of my sleep when my phone loudly vibrated on my nightstand the next morning. Rolling over with a groan, I grabbed my phone and answered it, closing my eyes again.

  “Hello?” I said, still groggy.

  “Aww, sorry to wake you up, sex kitten,” O’Shea’s deep voice said on the other end. His voice awakened my nerve endings, making my heart beat just a little bit faster. “I was calling to let you know that my mom just called and she's a few minutes from town. I gave her the address, so she should be there soon.”

  I slowly sat up. “Shit. Okay then. I’ll get the apartment ready for them,” I mentioned, rubbing my eyes.

  “You’re a lifesaver, Ash. I'll be back as soon as I can.”

  “All right. Talk to you later,” I said and hung up. With a sigh, I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom, taking a quick shower before pulling on a pair of skinny jeans and a blue tank top. No sooner than I’d finished eating a bowl of cereal, a solid knock sounded from the front door. My heart quickened in my chest. I knew I'd have to meet his mother sooner than later, but I didn’t expect to have to face her alone.

  “I’m sure it won’t be so bad,” I murmured to myself, leaving the kitchen and heading to the front door. Putting on my best smile, I opened the door, shocked to see a younger looking woman standing before me. She frowned when her chocolate brown eyes locked on me.

  She wore a black pantsuit with no shirt or bra under her suit jacket, which I found to be quite stupid and pretentious to wear in the humid summer heat. Her manicured fingers fiddled with a ring that hung on a silver chain around her neck as she studied me. The light breeze made her jet black hair flutter around her shoulders, giving me a whiff of the expensive perfume she wore.

  “Who the hell are you?” she finally asked. I swallowed hard. She looked entirely too young to be O’Shea’s mother and he hadn't said she was bringing anyone else along.

  “Um, I’m Ashton. And you are?”

  “Kayla,” she answered, rolling her eyes. “O’Shea’s fiancée.”

  My heart nearly stopped. Fiancée? He’d said she’d rejected him. Did they reconc
ile and he just forgot to tell me? I forced myself to continue smiling as I let her in, his mother finally making her way to the door.

  “Hi, dear,” she said, two more women trailing behind her. “I’m his mother and these are his two sisters.” She looked over at the woman now looking around my living room in disgust, swiping her finger along the entertainment stand and cringing at the bit of dust she picked up. “And that’s Kayla.”

  I closed the door behind them and joined them in the living room. They all crowded on the couch while I sat on the loveseat, keeping my eyes low as I sensed their piercing gazes on me. I didn’t know when O’Shea would be here, but I hoped it would be fast.

  He also had some explaining to do about Kayla being here.

  Chapter Sixteen

  O’Shea

  I walked into Rocky's office as I hung up with Ashton. He looked up from the papers on his desk when I entered, gesturing for me to sit.

  "What can I do for you, Smith?" he asked.

  "I wanted to know if I could take an earlier break today? My mom and sisters just got to town and—"

  "Oh, that's great! Why didn't you tell me they were coming? I would've given you the day off!"

  "It was last minute, otherwise I would have," I replied.

  "Hmm..." He stroked his beard for a few moments as he looked at me. "You know what? Why don't you take today to be with your family? I'm sure you're anxious to see them. We only have a few scheduled oil changes and a couple of tire rotations, but we can handle it."

  "Are you sure?" I asked with a cocked brow.

  "As hard as you work around here, I can give you a day off. It's thanks to you that we're not behind on projects. I think we'll survive the day without you," he said as he stood and walked around his desk. "You'll have to bring them by so I can meet them."

 

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