“Damn, I wish I didn’t have to stay.”
“Me too.”
“Okay, babe, I have to run. I have a meeting in a few minutes. I’ll see you in a couple of days. Love you. Bye.”
***
Andrew hung up the phone. Too bad Meg hadn’t told him how she felt a long time ago. They wasted so much time. Funny, they used to talk about everything and something this important she neglected to tell him. Of course, that was Meg. She never was one for confrontation. She let things slide no matter how much they bothered her.
She did the same thing with her sisters. No matter how they annoyed or hurt her, she never told them. It wasn’t worth the hassle, she said. And why cause trouble or start an argument? So she bit her tongue and lived with it. Eventually she got over it, and no one knew the difference. Thank goodness, that changed. He had no idea what made her decide to get a job. But he loved the change in her, especially in the bedroom.
That seductive tone in Meg’s voice sure didn’t hurt. Even thinking about her, he was getting hard. He was going to have to see about a different position in the company. One where he’d stay home more. This traveling was getting to him. Especially knowing he had a hot wife waiting for him. As sexy as Meg had been lately, and the way she turned him on, they’d melt the snow outside in the winter if they lay on the ground. He loved her. Crap, now wasn’t the time to get turned on. He had that meeting. Time to cool off. Quit thinking about his wife.
***
I hung up the phone disheartened. Too bad Andrew couldn’t be home more. I hated these trips. A couple of days always turned into a week. Sure, he was home on the weekends most of the time, but he often left on Sunday afternoon or evening. Nothing I could do about it. Carrying my packages, I hurried to my room before the kids came home. Last thing I needed was for Julie to ask what I bought. I could hardly keep the grin off my face as I raced up the stairs.
Early the next morning, I woke and my thoughts immediately went to Andrew and that sexy outfit. Was I turning into a nymphomaniac? Seemed like all I thought about lately was sex.
Or was it the guilt still eating at me. Was I just trying to make it up to Andrew?
Time to put these thoughts out of my mind. I had work to do and needed to concentrate. After a cup of coffee, I turned my attention to work. Meeting with the Baileys on Thursday differed from when we met to plan the kitchen.
The basic styles of the kitchen had stayed the same. They wanted it to look as close to the original as possible with all of the modern conveniences.
This time they’d pick out colors, fabrics, and the right textures. I knew it would be interesting trying to please two people. Though they agreed on the Victorian style, they seemed to disagree on other matters as they proved in their earlier argument. I hoped my designs pleased them both.
They had taken my suggestion to stay at their townhouse in Cleveland while work went on, at least in the kitchen. The noise alone, not to mention the dust from the destruction and rebuilding, would drive anyone crazy.
I arrived with my design boards. Again, the beautiful Queen Anne style home took my breath away. I never tired of looking at it. I did the same thing each time I pulled in. I got out of my car, looked up and stared at the exquisite mansion.
The exterior had been renovated to the original colors. I made a mental note of the soft colors, the way the creams combined with the rich hues and shades of greens. I could use those shades in the house. Maybe in the foyer.
Tones of browns and rusts added a striking elegance to the century old home. I stood near the car looking up at the house and a movement to my side caught my attention.
“Paul!” He ran in front of me. “What are you...? Oh, dear God!” He waved a gun wildly in his hand and fired. I screamed and fell to the ground.
“I thought we had something good together, you bitch,” he yelled and fired the gun again. ”I’ll teach you to get a restraining order against me.” His face contorted into ugliness. “Let’s see what your jackass husband thinks of you now.”
Chapter Nine
Searing heat burned my side. I froze from pain and fear. Holding my breath, I prayed when he bent down next to me. He touched my hair, slid his hand down my cheek, then he stood.
“You still want me, don’t deny it.” He stared at me a second, laughed hysterically, then turned, and ran off.
I lay there helpless, knowing I was badly injured. Blood warmed my skin as it puddled around me. Thank God, the front door opened. Mr. Bailey yelled something as he rushed to my side. His face became a blur.
Later, I woke up in a brightly-lit room. “Where am I?” I asked, not sure if anyone heard me. Pain pierced my left side.
Someone stood over me. “You’re finally awake,” A soft voice said. “You gave us a bit of a scare. Do you need something for the pain?”
I forced my eyes open, squinted against the bright light, and realized I was in a hospital. “What happened, why am I here?” The dryness of my throat made it difficult to speak.
“You’ve been shot,” the nurse said. “Don’t you remember? The police are waiting to talk to you. Are you up to it?”
“Oh, God...” I groaned and moved my hand to my head. Memory of Paul and the gun returned. “Oh, God. No, not now. I don’t want to talk to anyone about this. I can’t.” What was I going to say? How was I going to tell them? No, I couldn’t talk to them yet. I had to think. Had to clear my head. Had to figure out what to say.
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to sooner or later. You may as well get it over with.” The nurse spoke softly. “Your husband and children are here too. They’d like to see you.”
Andrew and the kids. What was I going to tell them? How was I going to explain this? Somehow, I had to find the words. Just when Andrew and I were rebuilding our relationship. Just when my life was starting over. I should have known the truth would come out some day. Damn Paul.
“I want to see my husband and kids, not the police,” I said. “I have to explain to them first. Then I’ll talk to the police.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” The nurse brushed my hair back from my forehead. “Would you like something for the pain first?”
I shook my head, closed my eyes, and listened to the soft rustle of the nurse’s uniform. I almost said no to the shot. I deserved the pain. It was nothing compared to the hurt I was about to inflict on my family. God, I didn’t know if I could do this. Didn’t know if I had it in me.
The antiseptic smell nauseated me. What could I possibly say to Andrew? Oh God, poor Andrew, they must have called him. He was in Indiana on a business trip. How long had I been out? He was here, and I had to face him.
A few minutes later Andrew, Julie and Jason stood next to me.
“Meg... Oh honey, what a scare you gave us.” Andrew leaned over and kissed me.
In a minute he was going to wish he never met me. He was going to hate me. And, I wouldn’t blame him. I turned toward Julie and Jason, and they each leaned over and kissed me in turn. They were going to hate me, too. All of them. The look of concern and worry on their faces was soon going to be replaced with disgust and hate. How could I do this to them?
Why hadn’t I thought it through? These were people I loved, and I risked it all for one lousy night. Not even for love. If I had fallen for someone else that would have been different, but it was purely for sex. What was wrong with me?
“We thought we lost you.” Julie squeezed my hand. “We were so scared.”
Jason held my other hand in a vice grip, but didn’t say a word. The fear on his face said it all.
“The police are here, honey,” Andrew said. “They agreed to give us a few minutes.”
No way to avoid it now. I had to tell them. I turned my head away and began to speak slowly, hating what I was about to say.
“I have something horrible to tell you first,” I whispered. I turned back to them, my gaze focused on Andrew, and tears streamed down my cheeks. Lord, give me the words, I prayed.
&
nbsp; “I made an awful mistake about a month ago.” I looked away, then up at the ceiling. I couldn’t look them in the eyes. Couldn’t bear to see the hurt on their faces.
“I don’t know how to say this, but it’s going to come out, and I wanted you to hear it from me.” I forced myself to look at them. The looks of confusion and concern stabbed through me. I took a deep breath and looked away again. I had to say it. Had to tell them.
Andrew continued to stroke my head.
I took another deep breath and looked at Andrew. I had to look him in the eyes, he deserved that much. “I slept with Paul one night.” The look of disbelief on Andrew’s face broke my heart. The shocked look soon turned to horror then anger. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I knew he wouldn’t take it well. This was it. Our marriage was over. Andrew would never forgive me. I knew him too well.
The one thing he hated was dishonesty and cheating. How often had he told the kids he’d rather they get an ‘F’ then to cheat and get an ‘A’. I hated myself more than any of them could hate me.
“I had too much wine — I was lonely... oh God, I’m so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did. I can’t ask you to forgive me. I can’t even forgive myself.” I closed my eyes and tried to blot out their looks of horror and pain.
***
Andrew pulled his hand away and turned around the room in circles, running his hands through his hair.
Two minutes ago, he’d been scared to death Meg wouldn’t make it. They called him out of a business meeting. Said his wife was in an accident. They didn’t tell him until he got here that she’d been shot by some maniac. God, she could have died, and he wouldn’t have been here for her. All the way home, he prayed. He couldn’t do this anymore. Meg needed him. Hell, he needed her. He needed to be home with his family where he belonged. Thank God, he was only in Indiana and not California, or he still wouldn’t be home.
Now this.
He looked at Meg. She looked so pale. What kind of sick maniac did this to her? And why? Why Meg. His love. His life. If he had lost her he didn’t know how he’d ever go on. He shook his head, trying to clear it.
Slept with Paul?
What was she saying? Must be the drugs. The sad look in her eyes told him she wasn’t making it up. It felt like someone kicked him in the gut. Meg slept with another man. How could she? He stared at her barely hearing what she was saying.
“What do you mean, Meg?” This couldn’t be happening. How could she? His voice cracked. “What...? I don’t understand what you’re telling me. You can’t mean this. It’s the drugs.”
Andrew stopped, walked around the room, came back to her bed and looked at her. “I can’t believe you betrayed me like that. How could you?” He didn’t wait for an answer. He turned and ran from the room.
He couldn’t stay here. Couldn’t bear to look at her. The love of his life cheated on him. When did it happen, he wondered?
Is that why the sudden change in her? Why she had been coming on to him, demanding more sex. Was she pretending he was Paul? Paul, of all people. The idea of it sickened him.
He wanted to throw up.
Meg, his Meg. His beautiful, perfect Meg. How could she have done something like that? Okay, so he wasn’t home a lot. But damn it, neither was she. And that bastard Paul. Acted like his friend. Wanted to play golf with him. Some friend. Son of a bitch was his son’s soccer coach for God’s sake. He ran out of the hospital. He had to get away. Far away from here. Far away from Meg.
His life was over.
Damn them. How long had this been going on? One time, she said. Yeah, he bet. Probably laughed together about it. What a fast one they pulled on him.
Son of a Bitch slept with his wife and was able to look him in the eye. Asked if he played tennis, wanted to get a game going, maybe a foursome. Shit, stupid, damn son of a bitching bastard.
He got into his car and revved the engine. He didn’t know where he was going. All he knew was he had to get as far away from Meg as possible.
***
Jason and Julie stood at my bed side, confusion in their eyes. I knew they were unsure of what they had just heard, unsure of what to do.
“Julie, Jason, I...”
Tears glistened in Julie’s eyes. “Mom, I...” She stared at me for a minute, put her hand to her mouth, stifled a sob, then turned, and ran from the room.
I looked at Jason. Jason, my big, strong son. He looked so much like his father. His hand went slack, but he didn’t pull it away.
“I don’t pretend to understand what just happened here, Mom.” he finally said. “I love you, but I can’t believe what you just said. Paul is my soccer coach. How could you?” He pulled his hand away, wiped a tear. “I better see to Julie.”
I reached for his hand, but he was gone before I could grab it. I couldn’t blame them. What a horrible shock. I wished the bullet had gone through my heart. Maybe they wouldn’t have found out what I had done. And if they had, I wouldn’t have been here to see it. I couldn’t handle the hurt in their faces. The shock and disbelief on Andrew’s. The dawning in his eyes, when he realized it wasn’t the drugs, that it was true.
I hated myself. Had hated myself for a long time. Even when Andrew and I made love, it was there in the back of my mind. My dirty secret. Well it wasn’t a secret anymore.
By the six o’clock news the whole town would know what I had done. What were my parents going to think? Could any of them hold their head up in public again?
I had caused a terrible scandal. Worse, I had hurt the ones who mattered most in my life. This wasn’t just about me and Paul. This stupid fling, as Paul called it, had affected a lot of people. I deserved the hate I’d get. But this mess affected Andrew, my children, my parents. Even my sisters.
The police came in and questioned me. A nurse stood nearby, monitoring my blood pressure. I answered their questions and told them about the restraining order and how Paul had continued to follow me.
“Why didn’t you report that he was still following you?” one officer asked.
“I didn’t report it because he hadn’t approached me. I hoped he’d tire of it.”
The officer raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, if you arrested him the whole story would have come out. I wanted to spare my family the pain.”
Now, of course, it didn’t make any difference. Not only my family, but the whole world would know. Somehow, I’d survive. After all, what else could I do?
My mother visited next. I could hardly look her in the eye.
“Meg.” My mother turned my head toward her. “Nothing you do could make me love you less.”
I saw the tired wrinkles around my mother’s eyes. How many of them had I caused? Probably most of them. My mother’s usual youthful appearance was gone.
“Could I feel disappointed? Absolutely. But you’re human and humans make mistakes.”
I reached up and touched my mother’s face. Tears slid down my cheeks. I tasted the saltiness. “Oh, Mom. I’ve made such a mess of things, and he didn’t even mean anything to me. It was just an attraction, and I let it get out of hand. I’ve hurt Andrew and the kids so badly. I don’t think they’ll ever forgive me.”
“Give them time, honey. The kids will come around. This is a hard time for them. First they thought they were going to lose you, and now this. It’s a lot for them to handle. It’ll work itself out, you’ll see.”
My mother didn’t say Andrew. She knew he wouldn’t ever forgive me, just as I did. Not that I blamed him. I wiped the tears from my eyes.
“How is Dad taking this?” I hadn’t given him a thought until now. He’d always been so proud of me. Of all his daughters. Even when Liz got jilted, Dad stood by her. Wanted to kick John’s ass. Would have too, if the jerk hadn’t left town.
I remembered the way he sat at the table when Liz told them the wedding was off. He got up and hugged Liz. Held her while she cried. “Stupid idiot,” he had said. “His loss is our gain. Don’t worry, Liz, there’s someone better ou
t there for you. Good thing he left town. I’d go over and show him a thing or two.”
Fury showed in his eyes, and I had no doubt my father would have carried through on his threat.
Why hadn’t I thought it through before I gave into Paul? I’d never done anything spontaneous. That was Andrew’s department. Never had I given in to a whim before. Sure I’d been tempted a few times, but nothing ever made it worth it. Not that Paul was worth it. He wasn’t. I always weighed the pros and cons of everything.
Everything but Paul.
“He’s surprised, that’s for sure.”
My mother’s voice brought me back to the present.
“Hurt, disappointed. I won’t lie to you, you’re daddy’s little girl. He doesn’t want you embarrassed, and you know how he hates hospitals.” My mother stroked my head while she spoke. I loved my mother’s soft soothing voice. “He loves you too, and like me, nothing you do will ever make either of us love you less.”
No, I didn’t suppose my parents could love me less. Just like my own kids, no matter what they did, no matter how much I disliked it, I couldn’t possibly love them less. Unconditional love, only a parent understood it.
“Oh God, I don’t know if I can even face him. I’ve hurt so many people. I don’t know what to say to him.” I gulped back a sob.
“It’s not the end of the world, Meg. Facing everyone the first time is going to be difficult.” My mother pulled the covers around my shoulders and smoothed the sheet.
“By the way, I called Jenny. She promised to stop by tonight. Did she know about this affair?” my mother asked.
“It wasn’t an affair, Mother. Just one time. One lousy time. And no one knew. I couldn’t even tell Jenny. I felt so guilty and ashamed.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” My mother continued to stroke my head.
I remembered how it always soothed me when I was a little girl. Somehow, it helped calm me.
“Sometimes it helps, you know. Get it off your chest.”
Another Day (Books We Love mature romance) Page 8
