I turned on the television, maybe it would lull me to sleep. The newscaster interrupted the program with a news bulletin.
“Paul Morris gave himself up to police minutes ago. After twelve hours holding the police at bay, he surrendered.” Footage of the police leading Paul away in handcuffs filled the screen.
Paul looked into the news camera. “Hey, babe, are you watching this?” He raised his head in that cocky way, that I once thought attractive, and stopped in front of the cameraman.
Suddenly his face changed into an ugly sneer. “You stupid bitch, see what you caused. You thought you were better than me. Well you’re not. Now the whole world knows the truth about you, slut.” The policeman pulled him away, but the cameraman followed him.
“You live in your make believe fairy tale world with your two kids and jackass husband. And he doesn’t care about you. If he did, he’d stay home where he belongs, not going halfway across the country every week.” The policemen tried to push Paul into the squad car, but he resisted.
Obviously, he had something to say, and he was taking advantage of being on the camera. Why didn’t the police get him off camera?
“I could have made you happy. Could have filled the gap in your life. You know you loved it. I was the best thing that ever happened to you.” His sing-song voice held a note of hysteria. A wild look filled his eyes. The ugly sneer on his face brought the memory of him standing over me, waving the gun around.
His words would forever haunt me. How had I become mixed up with him?
His words, as he stood over me, came back. “I could have showed you a real good time” or something like that. I shuddered as the memory of his contorted face surfaced in my mind. Gone the mild mannered, good looking guy I had sex with. In his place an ugly maniac. Something must have snapped in him.
I turned off the television, not wanting to hear any more. The story would receive top billing on the news and local papers. So far the whole story of the illicit night hadn’t come out. But with what Paul just said to the news camera, it would only be a matter of time before everything came out in the open.
***
Andrew watched the news report about Paul giving himself up. He wanted to smash the screen. What he’d give to get a hold of that guy and tear into him. He wasn’t usually a violent man, but the idea that Meg slept with that jerk drove him crazy. Slept with. What a delicate way to put it. Damn it, why didn’t she say it the way it was. She had sex with him.
The pain in his stomach intensified. He couldn’t deal with this. Damn it, he didn’t want to. Why should he have to? He was planning on coming home early to see Meg. He was cutting his trip short. After that meeting, he was supposed to leave. Sure, he had to go back the next day, but he didn’t care. After he talked with Meg, he was anxious to see her. Excited over the prospect of spending the night with her. He was going to put a deposit on their trip. Ha, that was a laugh.
Then the call came, and he was half out of his mind with worry. When he heard she’d been shot he about went crazy. But nothing like he experienced when she told him about Paul.
Hell. He snapped off the television. At least he didn’t have to look at the damn bastard.
He paced the small hotel room, stopped and looked in the mirror. The image that reflected back shocked him. He rubbed his unshaven chin, ran his fingers through his uncombed hair. Who the hell cared what he looked like? So his clothes looked like they’d been slept in, so what? Not like he was out to impress anyone.
Besides, he couldn’t bring himself to go home. To their home. God, had she made love in their bed? Made love, another delicate way of putting it.
A onetime thing, she said. He wondered. He couldn’t stand the idea of going home, going to their bedroom and visualizing the scene that he couldn’t get out of his head.
Meg with another man. Any man, but Paul for Christ’s sake.
He slammed his fist on the desk. God, he was going out of his mind. Somehow he had to pull himself together.
His world had just crumbled around him. All the plans they had made for their future down the drain. This morning, he couldn’t wait to tell Meg that he asked for a different position, and it looked good. He wouldn’t have to travel hardly at all.
For what? He may as well call and tell them to leave it alone. He didn’t want to change now. He had nowhere to go. He couldn’t live with Meg. Not now. Not after this.
He picked up the phone and punched in the numbers. “Joe, its Andrew. Yeah, thanks.” Shit, he hadn’t given a thought that they’d hear the news and know it was his Meg that got shot. Hell, how was he going to ask them to leave it now? They’d wonder why he didn’t want time off. “Joe, listen about that change in jobs...”
“Hey, Andrew, we understand. If you want a few days before you start no problem.”
“Actually Joe, I want to keep my old position. I’ve changed my mind. I don’t need any time off.” It wouldn’t be long before everyone knew Meg cheated on him. What did he care what Joe or anyone else thought.
“Ah... are you sure? I mean...”
“Yeah, I’m sure. Look it’s personal, okay?”
“Sure, Andrew, okay I’ll pull your request. Are you going back to Indiana tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’ll go back tomorrow. Thanks, Joe.” Andrew hung up, picked up his suit jacket, and went out to the car.
He had to get some clothes. He hoped no one was home. He didn’t want to run into the kids. And he sure as heck didn’t want to see Liz or Meg’s parents.
Not yet.
He had to get his mind straight. As luck would have it, no one was home when he let himself in. He went to the bedroom and tried to avoid looking at the bed. The bed where just a couple of nights ago, he and Meg made love. Sweet, long, passionate love. He tried to ignore it, grabbed the suitcase out of the closet and started packing.
He closed the suitcase and snapped the clasps, looked around the room one more time. He loved this room, loved what Meg had done to make it homey and warm. She had a talent that was for sure.
Hell...he turned and left the room. He couldn’t stand the thoughts that were rushing through his mind. Meg and Paul. Why? He hurried down the steps and to the door. It opened before he had a chance to leave.
“Dad!” Jason looked from him to the suitcase.
Crap, he hoped to avoid this. No kid should have to deal with this.
He should stay here and take care of them, but he couldn’t, not yet. Hell, they were old enough to take care of themselves. It wasn’t like they were babies. “Jason, look I...I’m sorry. I have to leave. I can’t stay here. Tell your mother I’ll call her okay?”
“Sure, Dad, I understand.”
Did he? Did his seventeen year old son understand something even he couldn’t understand? It didn’t matter.
Andrew hurried out and got into his car before Julie caught him. He couldn’t bear to see her. She still sat in the car with Liz, talking. She looked up as he got into his car. He pulled out of the drive and sped off down the street back to the hotel. He went to the front desk and asked the rate for a month. His room had all the amenities of home. Refrigerator, stove, dishwasher. Hell, he could live here indefinitely. Costly, but for the time being, it would suffice.
Anything beat going back and facing Meg. He’d have to eventually. But not yet. Not for a while. Besides, she was still in the hospital. They couldn’t talk there. Right now he didn’t want to talk, anyway. All he wanted to do was throw something, smash something.
Better he stayed away from her until he calmed down. God knows how long that would take. There wasn’t much to discuss, anyway. He couldn’t live with her.
Maybe not ever again. He’d never forgive her for this. How could he? Meg had betrayed him. Betrayed his trust. Betrayed them all. No, he couldn’t forgive that. Not now. Probably not ever.
And he’d never forget the look on Paul’s face when he gave himself up. That ugly sneer. And what did those words mean? He could have filled the gap. Jackass hu
sband. Who the hell did he think he was? Damn son of a bitch. Made it sound like it was all his fault. Stupid jerk.
What the hell did Meg see in him? What made her sleep with a jerk like that? She always weighed the pros and cons of everything. What made her think sleeping with Paul was worthwhile? Was she in love with him?
***
“How could you do something so stupid, Meg? Of anyone I know I never would have suspected you of cheating. I looked up to you. You made me believe in marriage. In relationships.” Jenny crossed her arms and glared at me.
I listened to my friend. There wasn’t anything I could possibly answer. The way Jenny paced drove me crazy. She waved her hands wildly while she ranted. I’d never seen her so angry, let alone been on the receiving end of it.
“Good God almighty, Meg. What the hell’s wrong with you? You had the perfect man, the perfect marriage. How could you do something like this?”
“Nothing and no one is perfect, Jenny. You should know that better than anyone. And you knew I was having problems in my marriage. I told you often enough.”
“I thought it was a midlife crisis or empty nest syndrome. Hell, I never dreamed when you talked about Paul that you planned on going to bed with him.”
“I didn’t plan on it. It just happened.”
“It just happened. Yeah, like I buy that. I know all the tricks, remember. Nothing just happens. I never thought you’d do something like that. Never thought you’d stoop so low.”
I looked out the window. How could I explain something to my friend what I didn’t understand myself? The strange attraction to Paul confused me right from the beginning. I didn’t know why I’d given in to it. I couldn’t answer that. Not for Jenny, Andrew, or anyone else, because I honestly didn’t know the answer. But, of all people I thought might understand, it was Jenny. Obviously, I was wrong.
“I know you don’t believe that, Jenny, but honest it wasn’t planned. At least not by me. When I look back on it I realize it was Paul’s plan all along.” The look on Jenny’s face told me, she wasn’t listening. Didn’t care. “I guess I thought you above all people would understand.”
“What the hell makes you think I’d understand? Because you think I’m a slut? Because I went through guys like they’re water?”
“That wasn’t what I meant at all. I don’t think you’re a slut. I thought you’d understand, because I confided in you. You knew how lonely I was with Andrew gone. How I resented it.”
“So that gives you an excuse to cheat on him? Give me a break, Meg. You know better than that. Sure you were discontent, but, crap, what made you think I’d understand you having sex with another man?” Jenny stood with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.
Something about it made me want to laugh. I was being reamed out by my best friend as if I was a child. And a friend that had gone through guys like they were water, to use Jenny’s own words. I didn’t need this. Jenny was supposed to be my friend. I couldn’t answer her. Her comment didn’t even justify an answer. No, I was wrong, Jenny didn’t understand. Probably never would. Now I had lost my friend too. My whole life was in shambles all because of one indiscretion. One huge mistake.
Jenny looked at me for a minute, shook her head. “It’s no use, Meg. I’ll never understand. You broke the rules. I don’t know why. I guess it doesn’t matter. All I know is, I don’t want to call you my friend anymore.” With that, she turned and left.
I couldn’t control the tears. There wasn’t anything I could do about Jenny. I wasn’t even sure if there was anything I could do about Andrew or the kids. But I knew I had to try. Somehow, I had to make them forgive me. Jenny would never be my friend again. I’d miss her. Miss the fun we had, the lunches. But I’d get over her. Andrew and the kids I’d never get over.
Finally after a week, the doctors said I could go home. “Isn’t there another way to take her out?” Sandy asked the nurse, when we were ready to leave.
The nurse directed us through the emergency room.
“The reporters are probably going to be at the house, too,” Sandy said. “We might not be able to avoid them, but eventually this will die down, at least until the trial.”
Trial, I didn’t even want to think about the trial. From my perfect, contented life, my whole world had turned upside down.
Andrew wouldn’t forgive me, and Julie’s sullen moodiness could only worsen with a trial. And poor Jason, how much more could he take? The future didn’t look good. The news media would eventually move on to other more important stories, but a trial would bring it all up again.
Liz and Sandy told me they had tried to talk to Julie several times, but to no avail. “She refuses to discuss anything about it. Sandy said Julie ran away the other day when she brought it up.”
“Ran away? Liz never told me that.”
“She didn’t want you to worry. Jason told us she more than likely went to her friend, Stacy’s. He was right. Mrs. Lawrence, Stacy’s mother called and talked to Liz. Told her Julie was okay and could she spend the night. Liz figured why not. It might do her good.”
“She’s never going to forgive me is she?”
“I know this is hard for you, Meg. But you have to give her time. Put yourself in her place. Think how you’d feel, if you were her.”
“I have. That’s why I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me. I can only imagine how she feels, and I don’t blame her for hating me. I’m supposed to be a role model for her. Hell of an example I’m setting, aren’t I?”
“Come on, Meg. You’ve been a good mother.”
“That doesn’t give me permission to sleep around. To cheat on my husband does it?”
Sandy didn’t have to answer. It didn’t make any difference. I knew the answer. I hurt for Julie, but didn’t know how to reach out to her. How does one explain something like this to your teenage daughter? After all the talks we’d had about sex and the benefits of waiting until she married.
What must Julie think of that conversation now? Her own mother hadn’t abided by the rules. Adultery was worse than not waiting. Good God, I had acted worse than some sex crazed teen. I had a husband, why did I need to find it elsewhere? Stupid, stupid fool.
I hoped once I got home, we’d be able to talk about it. We had always been able to talk about everything. What damage had I done to that relationship? Julie had always brought her problems to me, down to the smallest one. Now she wouldn’t even look at me.
And why would she? How could Julie trust someone who cheated? Cheated and lied.
Sandy told me to give Julie some time. “Eventually things will return to normal.”
“Normal! Life will never be normal again.”
“You’re right, it will never be the way it was,” Sandy said. “But some sense of normalcy will return.”
I doubted it. How could I make it through a trial? The prosecutors were trying to get Paul to accept a plea, so far without success. If there was a trial, every sordid detail would come out. Paul would see to that.
This was my punishment for rejecting him. He had a perverted mind. He’d make sure he got on the stand and testify. I shoved the thought of a trial out of my mind. I had to deal with the present.
“Thanks to Mr. and Mrs. Bailey, Bill agreed to keep me on.” I let out a slight chuckle. If it wasn’t so pathetic, it would almost be funny.
“Mr. Bailey found my designs next to my car and loved them. They insisted on waiting for me. Not much Bill could do but keep me.” I could just picture the sweet little man telling Bill they wouldn’t deal with anyone but me. Thank God for small favors. Either me or my work obviously made an impression on the couple.
“Bill called me at the hospital. Told me not to worry my job was secure. At least for now, anyway. Hopefully, I’ll have proved myself by the time I’m done with the Bailey’s renovation. In the meantime, he arranged for someone to strip the mantle. The painting crew is waiting to come in, and the kitchen is progressing nicely. At least one thing has gone my way.”
“Hey, that’s great, Meg. See everything is going to be all right. You just need to take some time for you, and it’ll all work out.” Sandy’s upbeat attitude didn’t help much, but at least she sounded encouraging.
“Yeah, but if there’s a trial, it will all start up again. I don’t know if other clients will be as willing to work with me as the Baileys are.” I didn’t want to sound negative, but facts were facts. “Maybe without a trial they won’t either.” Only time would tell. Every thought came back to Paul and the trial. There didn’t seem to be any way around it. I sighed and was glad for the silence on the way home. Thank God, Sandy wasn’t babbling. Of course that had never been Sandy. I was usually the babbler. Sandy was and always had been a good listener.
Chapter Twelve
We managed to dodge the reporters and arrived home without incident.
“Dad moved out.” Jason seemed uncomfortable as he and Sandy helped me to my room. “He said he needs time, but he’ll call you later.”
I sat on my bed and burst into tears. Sandy sat next to me, and Jason stood uncertain near the bedroom door.
“It’s okay, Jason,” Sandy told him. “I’ll stay with your mom. Go find Julie.”
I couldn’t speak. Sobs took over and racked my body. Sandy held me and rocked me, stroking my back, trying to soothe me. I wished it would help, but nothing was going to change the fact that Andrew was gone. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
Not that it surprised me. He hadn’t visited at the hospital and no one brought him up. I should have guessed. Andrew wouldn’t be able to handle his perfect world gone to pot. I wondered when he left. Not that it mattered, he wasn’t here now.
“At least he said he’d call you. That’s a good sign,” Sandy finally said.
I took a tissue and blew my nose. “Yeah, probably to ask for a divorce.” I sniffed.
“I think you need to get some rest.” Sandy stood. “Why don’t you lie down for a while? I’ll see about dinner.”
Another Day (Books We Love mature romance) Page 10
