by Audra Morgan
~Cara, Reno, NV
My husband and I were contacted after we put up a post online looking for couples. The couple sent photos to us, and we sent some to them. They seemed very nice and very interested in meeting us. The husband gave us his cell number, and we texted back and forth a few times. He suggested we meet at a bar near the hotel they were staying at, and then we could go have some fun back in their room. Sounded good to us! When we met at the bar, his wife acted very standoffish, almost angry. He played it off and said she’d lost some money at the casino earlier that day. We talked a bit, and we probably had too much to drink. So much that we didn’t realize how much she was not into us, or the situation.
We all kind of stumbled back to their hotel room, and once we got into their room and sat on the edge of the bed, she freaked out and pulled him out into the hall. We heard raised voices, and it went on for some time. We had no idea what to do. The husband came back in, alone, and admitted that his wife had no idea he had planned any of this, he was hoping if he surprised her with it she would have some drinks and warm up to the idea. We were horrified. She was nowhere to be seen, and we quickly got our things and got the hell out of there. Now we always insist on talking to the wife before we agree to meet people we have never met in person before.
~ Cindy, NJ
We had a threesome at a club with a guy we’d spent some time talking to, and my wife found him attractive. I made it clear to him that the ONLY rule was to use a condom. Beyond that, anything goes. He said he totally understood and agreed. What do you know, we get into the room, things start getting hot and heavy, I look down, and there he is, no condom, attempting to fuck my wife. Right in front of me. I ran his ass out of the room, resisting the urge to punch him out. I don’t get why guys have to be such idiots.
~Jeff, Macon, GA
We were sitting at the bar of a swing club, and we witnessed this exchange. The club had just opened for the night, and there were only a few couples there. A couple who clearly had been drinking for hours walked in and sat down next to another couple. The man began to speak to the couple, and within minutes he was asking the other man where he worked, and asking him his last name. The man seemed to not want to say, but the drunk guy pushed the issue. “Come on, we’re all friends here.” The couple just looked really uncomfortable as the guy went on and on, being very obnoxious and pushy. Then the drunk guy stood up, no more than 5 minutes later, and asked the other couple if they wanted to go have sex. The couple looked stunned and declined. The guy and his wife practically stormed off. They returned half an hour or so later, asked AGAIN, and we saw the couple walk off with them. We are still confused about why that couple went ANYWHERE with those obnoxious people.
~Suzy, Hollywood, FL
My husband and I were sitting in one of the play areas of a sex club, and another couple approached us and began talking to us. The husband was very quiet and reserved, but the wife was super flirty and seemed very interested. After ten minutes or so of chatting, she invited us into one of the small play rooms. We figured what the hell, so we went with them. Once we were in the room, things got a little uncomfortable. The wife was all over me and completely ignoring my husband. When he tried to approach her she literally shoved him away, then she looked at me and said, “I wish it was just the two of us in here.” I told her that she had been rude to say that right in front of my husband, and she flipped out on me. She yelled at us and called us “cra-za-zy” as we quickly dressed and left the room. We were so happy they were from out of town, because we really don’t want to run into them again.
~Jennifer, Dallas, TX
We’d gotten an email from a couple who saw that we had signed up online for a swingers party happening in our hometown. They were driving in from a few states away just for the party, and they said they wanted to meet and hang out with us that night. We exchanged photos and emails and some texts, and the guy even texted just before the party saying “See you soon!” Well, an hour into the party they showed up, and he came over, introduced himself, and said they’d see us in a little bit. His wife never did even come over and say hello to us. Our photos were all very recent and accurate, so we figured she hadn’t even known we existed, it was just the husband emailing, hoping we could hook up. She apparently wasn’t having it. It wasn’t cool, though, to be so bitchy about it. Have some decorum and at least be polite! Or don’t let your spouse email and make plans with people without consulting you first!
~ Doug, Birmingham, AL
We met, and hooked up with, a cute couple while out at a club one night. We had a great night laughing and talking, and the sex was great. They contacted us a few months later and we hooked up again, but the second time things just didn’t go so great. He was drunk and it just wasn’t a good time for me, and my husband also found the situation to be lacking. Now, every time we run into them at that same club, the guy feels like because we’ve had sex, although it was years ago, he can just walk up to me and grab my boobs or make really inappropriate comments. I suppose some would say “anything goes” at a swing club, but I think some things are just crude and not okay, no matter what you have done with someone in the past. Instead of having people we might enjoy having a drink and catching up with, we see them and want to hide.
~Vanessa, CA
My wife and I attended a meet and greet at a bar. It was hosted by a website, and we were just looking into this lifestyle and thought it would be a good chance to meet other people and find out more about it. Well, don’t you know, as soon as we walked in, I recognized someone from work. He’s kind of an ass, and known to be very rude and crude around the office. He kept staring at me, but he didn’t come over to talk. I wondered if I should go say hello, but my wife told me maybe it would just make things weirder. At the end of the meet and greet, he walked past me, slapped me on the back, and said “See you at the office Monday, Johnny Boy!” Now every time I go to work I’m wondering if our little “secret” has been shared with anyone else. We haven’t even done anything in the lifestyle yet, but half the office probably knows we’re “swingers.” Now I know why some people say they only swing when they go out of town.
~John, OR
We met a guy for drinks one night, when my wife and I first started thinking about trying a threesome. Within thirty seconds of meeting him, we knew it wouldn’t go any further. He was nice enough, but he was dumb as rocks and a terrible conversationalist, and after an hour we told him we needed to head home. He texted us that night and asked when we were going to get together again. We said we didn’t think it would work out. He continued texting every day for two weeks, with everything from “your wife is hot” to “really want to meet up again” to “come on, man, let’s get together.” I never replied after the first text. It’s no wonder some of these guys are single and desperate for sex. They have NO social skills at all. We are glad we knew right away we wanted nothing more to do with this guy – because he sure did turn out to be a weirdo.
~Alan, Boise, ID
My boyfriend and I replied to a post on Craigslist. It was a couple looking to have fun with another couple. We’re pretty experienced with swinging, but we had not had any fun like that in a while. We texted back and forth with the couple; they sent us both their cell numbers and my boyfriend and I sent several messages and exchanged photos. They both seemed decent looking and like they were serious about meeting. We agreed to meet them at a bar across town. We showed up, and we recognized the guy right away. He was sitting alone at the bar, so we thought his wife was in the restroom. We introduced ourselves, and he seemed very nervous. We asked about his wife, and he said she was still at the hotel, that she had a headache and would be walking over soon. We thought that was really weird, but we decided to wait. We had some beers and talked to him, and he seemed very reserved compared to his texts. He was nice enough, though, so we figured we’d give it a chance. He kept checking his phone, and he finally said she was feeling better and we could go meet at the hotel. I felt something
was really off, so I excused myself and texted her from the restroom. There was no reply. When I went back to the bar and told him I’d texted her and not heard back from her yet, he practically turned white as a sheet. He fiddled with his phone again, then said he needed to go, and he rushed out without even really saying goodbye. We’re still not sure what was waiting for us at the hotel, but we’re certain it wasn’t a wife.
~ Sandy, Chicago, IL
I had hit up a couple on SLS a long time ago, and was given the response of, "Thanks for your interest, but if and when we're interested in a single guy, we'll contact you." Not uncommon, lots of couples feel that way, and since they didn't have "NO MEN NO MEN NO MEN" plastered all over their profile, I decided to say "hello."
About 3 weeks ago, I received another message from them saying that they would be vacationing in the area, and wanted to know if I could come over for an evening of play. I told them that I was definitely still interested, and that all I needed was a time and place. After 2-3 weeks of the wife and I talking back and forth, and her telling me how hot she was getting by the thought of us finally meeting, I was pretty stoked to meet these people also. She had asked for a cock pic, now I don't have XXX rated pics on my page...because most ladies would like to see a nice shot of the face and body in a PG setting first and foremost. I gladly will send one on request though. I did send her one, granted the angle makes it look huge, but I told her that it was 6"...so as not to "false advertise" myself. She said that it looked great, and that she would enjoy playing with it.
I arrived to the hotel and they seemed like very nice people, he and I chatted quite a bit and began teasing her with some dumb jokes. Things started heating up, and some oral was exchanged between her and I and eventually he joined in. After maybe 30 minutes, she began complaining of heartburn. We stopped and began to just chat to see if maybe she would feel better. While we were chatting, we talked about our experience in the lifestyle and what got us here and so forth. I had told them that I love being in a close-knit group of people where I feel like there is so much trust. However, the lifestyle contains 2 polar types of people...the best of the best, and the worst of the worst. I love that I've met so many people that I can trust and become really close friends with. They are almost like a family, and there are things that I can go to them with in confidence that I wouldn't even tell blood relatives. But...unfortunately, there are people who just have no manners, are shady, flaky, or just fake about who they are.
They agreed completely, and I told them that even though she felt sick, I was very glad to have met them, they seemed like amazing people, and that I would love to stay in touch. They said the same, noting that she was attracted to me and that he and I got along very well. She had been apologizing about being sick ever since it happened, to which I said that it wasn't her fault. Things like that happen, and I wasn't upset in the least. I thanked them, hoped that she was feeling better soon, and left.
The next morning I jumped on-line to check all of my messages of sorts...when I got to SLS, I noticed that they had written me. Expecting another apology about her being sick, I opened their message to find something to the effect of. "While we enjoyed meeting you, we felt no connection between us, and that our profile indicates that she prefers well endowed men. Good luck in your future swinging endeavors." I was outraged. The fact that this girl had seen a picture of my cock and was given the full description of it, and then had the audacity to call me "small" was just unbelievable. If she had doubts, she should have either asked for another photo, or told me up front that she was no longer interested in meeting. Not to mention the part about having "no connection," when she even told us that he and I would get along very well. Now understanding why she was "sick" made me even more irate, and I told them that if she wasn't happy with what she saw after I took my clothes off, she should have said so, and politely asked me to leave. That would have been much less of a slap in the face, and saved me 2 hours of my time. I also went on to say that she should screen her future play partners more carefully to avoid similar situations and wasting others' time as well as your own...I was professional in that I didn't curse them out or anything, but let them know that I was very displeased with their decision on handling the whole thing. Of course, I was promptly blocked from their profile and messages afterwards...
People like this are the reason why others have doubts, or begin to have doubts about the lifestyle. I was very insulted, not because she wasn't happy with my dick size...but in the way that she wasted my time and essentially lied when she said that it looked "Good enough for her." I feel bad for anyone else who decides to get to know them further. They're 2 faced and very immature. This is the 2nd worst experience that I've ever had...
~Ben, Tampa, FL
Admittedly, swinging, and the interactions it entails, is not remotely the “norm” of social interaction in society. There are different rules of etiquette with swinging than with, say, interacting with other couples at an employee picnic (to say the least). There are, however, rules of etiquette, and people who don’t realize that they should still behave like civilized, kind human beings have no place in the swinging world.
Unfortunately, swinging also tends to attract some individuals and couples who are using swinging as a “quick fix” for problems they have in their lives. Single men who can’t find or keep a girlfriend might turn to hooking up with couples for the sexual release they can’t find through dating. But if they can’t behave in such a manner to hang onto a girlfriend, they likely can’t handle the social intricacies of a threesome either. Similarly, couples might try swinging in a misguided attempt to work out problems in their relationship. Even worse, some individuals in couples try to trick, or coerce, their partner into swinging against their will. This is a recipe for disaster no matter what the details are, and it’s downright unacceptable to involve unwitting couples in that sort of duplicity and drama.
Chapter Five
Parties Gone Wild…ly WRONG
While many swingers choose to keep things more intimate, meeting up with couples or singles for a quiet dinner or drinks, or inviting them to their home or hotel, a good bit of swinger socializing takes places at parties and swing club events. While this can be an exhilarating experience, it also opens a couple up to some unexpected scenarios with unanticipated twists and turns. Sometimes those are great and add to the fun, but sometimes it’s just all kinds of wrong.
I shared a story of Tyler and me unwittingly going into the group sex room of our local club when no one else was in there at the time. We stupidly thought it would be a good spot for a quickie, and we soon learned that in that room, “anything goes”, and in a matter of minutes anything indeed went – and we got the hell out of there after some nonconsensual foot play and a random cock finding its way to my mouth. Well, this is still our favorite club, and we still have fun there, everywhere but the dreaded group room. We were alone in one of the other rooms one night during a crowded party, and in that room, it’s understood that no one is to touch you unless invited. It’s still a very “open” room, though, but that is sometimes part of the fun.
Tyler and I were naked in the large bed having sex, and we were aware that anyone might hop in the bed alongside us, but in the past when that happened, there was little or no interaction if we didn’t know the people. Well, this time, a couple got into bed right next to us, and it was the couple from the group room many months before. My immediate instinct was to jump up and run out the door, but knowing the rules of this particular room, I decided to ignore them. And I did…until a cold hand slowly made its way onto my breast and squeezed. We felt them scoot even closer to us, to the point that the man was sweating on us. That, combined with my previous unsolicited experience with them, was more than I could bear. We jumped up in unison, grabbed our clothes and shoes, and walked out, naked, into the hallway to find a more private spot away from that couple.
For a long while, that particular couple seemed to be at the club every single ti
me we showed up, and we were always a bit bummed when we saw them sitting at the bar. We tended to avoid the more public play areas because they made me that uncomfortable, and they just didn’t seem to have any boundaries based on our own experiences and what we witnessed in their interactions with others. They seemed to lock onto new couples and follow them around, hoping the couple would break down and give in to their advances. Fortunately, we haven’t seen them in ages. And we’ve had more fun because of it!
Unfortunately, swing parties can go much, much worse than that, as evidenced by the experiences which others have shared.
We went to our first swinger party in August of 2011. We were in the public play room and in the process of doing a soft-swap (oral only) with another couple, when all of the sudden we hear a man yelling, "Get off of my wife, you bastard!" All four of us freaked out a little bit, unsure of what was happening. The yelling man punched a guy I hadn't noticed yet, standing to our left, and a fight broke out. I ran, naked, into the dancing room, trying to find the host or even some men to break it up. The guys in there just started checking out my naked body, in spite of me telling them that there was a fight in the public room. Finally, a few of them broke up the fight. Both of the fighters had broken and bloodied noses; they got kicked out. Our evening ruined; my boyfriend and I put our clothes back on. Word got out around the party and many other couples came up to us, reassuring us that this usually never happens, and that they hope to see us again at another party. What they said was true...I never witnessed anything like that again.
