by J. Lynn
“Have you ever tried it?” I sat, staring at the remote.
“No.”
“Then how do you know it’s gross?”
“I’ll go with my assumption that it is.” She picked up her plate, sending me a cheeky grin.
“Before the end of the year, I will have you trying milk and Chinese.”
The look on her face said over her dead body, and I grinned. As Resident Evil kicked off, we dug into our dinner and spent more time discussing how women in a zombie apocalypse managed to look so attractive. As Alice faced down zombie Dobermans, I gathered up our plates and took them into the kitchen. While I was there, I grabbed another glass of milk and a can of root beer for her.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling as I placed the soda on the coffee table.
I sat down closer to her. “I live to service you.”
Shortcake grinned and we continued to poke at the movie and its sequel. At one point, her cell phone went off. My gaze flicked to the screen on the iPhone and saw UNKNOWN CALLER flash.
“Not going to answer?” I asked.
She quickly leaned forward, snatching the phone and turning off the ringer. Seemed a little strange, how stiff she was when she did it. “I think it’s rude to answer the phone when you have company.”
All we were doing was being overly critical about the movies. “I don’t mind.”
Shortcake sat back, nibbling on her thumbnail as she turned her attention to the TV. Come to think of it, I couldn’t recall a time when I saw her on her phone—not before class or around the campus. Most girls had their phones glued to their hands or the side of their face. She said she wasn’t popular in school and it was obvious she wasn’t that close to her family, but . . .
Well, something was off about it all, but I didn’t know what.
Minutes went by and she was still chewing away on her fingernail, something I hadn’t see her do before now. I reached over, wrapping my fingers around her wrist.
Her chin jerked up and her gaze landed on my hand. “What?”
“You’ve been biting your nail for the last ten minutes.” I lowered her arm to her thigh, but kept my hand around her wrist. The tips of my fingers touched. That was how small her wrist was. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.” She inhaled sharply. “I’m watching the movie.”
“I don’t think you’re really seeing the movie.” Our gazes met. “What’s going on?”
She pulled her hand free, and I let go. Reluctantly. “Nothing is going on. Watch the movie.”
“Uh-huh.” I dropped the subject, knowing that pushing Shortcake got me absolutely nowhere.
She grew quiet, and I checked out the time on the digital box below the DVD player. It was well after ten, and I expected her to kick my ass out any minute now, but when I shifted on the couch, throwing my right arm along the back, the entire left side of her body ended up against mine.
I froze and I believed my heart literally stopped as I waited for her to squirm away, keeping the mandatory two feet of personal space between us.
But she didn’t.
Holy shit, she didn’t.
I glanced down at the top of her head, forcing my breathing to remain steady. Over the next half hour, every cell in my body became aware of her weight, her warmth and her deep, even breaths.
My heart skipped a beat when her head came down on the spot just below my shoulder. Was she asleep? “Avery?”
When there was no answer, I determined that she had, in fact, fallen asleep on me. There was a swelling in my chest, bigger and tighter than the knot that seemed to form whenever I was around her. And the strangest damn thing happened as I stared down at her. Parts of my body hardened at her closeness, but my insides softened like butter left out in the sun.
You’re so fucked when it comes to that girl.
Those words kept coming back to me, time and time again. Maybe I was fucked, but I wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. Carefully, so that I didn’t wake her, I brought my arm off the back of the couch and gently guided her down so that her head rested on my thigh.
And something not too far north enlarged. Perhaps that wasn’t the smartest idea, because it was too tempting to have her this close, but this . . . well, it felt right in a way that it had never felt with any other girl.
My chest lurched as Shortcake snuggled in, folding her hands together under her chin. I watched her for a moment, soaking up the smooth line of her jaw, the curve of her cheek and those rosy lips.
Damn, I was fucked in all the right ways.
I tried to pay attention to the movie, but I hadn’t even realized when it ended and the regular channel kicked back in. My eyes were on Avery once more. I wasn’t even sure my attention had ever left her.
I thought it was cool in the room, so I pulled the brown and green patchwork quilt over the back of the couch and draped it over her body. The bare expanse of her shoulder snagged my attention. Her shirt had slipped down her right arm and there was nothing but that little strap.
The soft glow of her skin lured me in and I was absolutely powerless to resist it. Lowering my hand, my breath caught as I touched the elegant curve of her shoulder.
Avery murmured in her sleep and wiggled a bit, but she didn’t wake up. It probably wasn’t cool to keep touching her, but I dragged my fingertips down her arm, relishing in the feel of her. Stopping at the hem of her shirt, my fingers grazed her silky skin all the way up to her cheek.
I was glad she was asleep, because the thought of her knowing how badly my hands shook would probably have been embarrassing as hell. Boy, they were trembling too, like I’d never touched a girl before.
Avery . . . hell, she completely undid me.
Tipping my head back against the couch, I closed my eyes and swallowed hard as I rested my hand on the flare of her hip. I could probably count on two fingers how many times I spent the evening with a beautiful girl curled up against me and asleep, when I was just content to be there with her. Part of my brain was telling me there was a word for this, as crazy as that word sounded and felt, so I ignored that part.
“No,” she murmured, and my eyes flew open. Her brow wrinkled, but she seemed to be asleep. “That’s not why I’m here . . .”
I cocked my head to the side, straining to hear what else she said, but the only other word I could pick up was “sorry” before she settled back down.
My heart pounded as I turned those words over. They didn’t make any sense and probably didn’t mean anything, but a ball of unease formed in my gut.
Time passed, and I didn’t sleep, not really. I was stuck in the weird in-between phase, half awake, half not there. But I knew the moment she woke up. Her body stiffened and she dragged in a deep breath. Several moments passed and she didn’t move or speak. I would’ve cut off my thumb to know what she was thinking.
Shortcake slowly rolled onto her back, surprising me and leaving no time to react. My hand slipped from her hip and landed on her lower belly, fingers reaching the top of her pants. God knows I should’ve pulled my hand away, but I didn’t.
My hand had a mind of its own and did something entirely on its own. My thumb moved in slow, idle circles just below her navel. I watched her under my lashes, nearly groaning when she sucked in her lower lip. Then my gaze flicked up and I could see the hardened tips of her breasts, pushing through the thin material. I was hard again. No surprise there.
I turned my head to the side, my lips tipping up on the corners as she drew in a deep breath. I clenched my jaw as she tipped her head back against my thigh, coming close to my erection.
“Cam.”
I opened an eye. “Avery?”
“You’re not asleep,” she said, voice husky and unbelievably sexy.
“You were.” I turned my head side to side. “And I was asleep.” Total lie, but I doubted she’d be cool with knowing I sat here almost the entire time and watched her.
She wetted her lips, and dammit if I didn’t want to swoop down and catch the t
ip of that tongue. “I’m sorry I fell asleep on you.”
“I’m not.”
Her cheeks flushed. “What time is it?”
“After midnight,” I said, staring at her moist lips.
“You didn’t even look at the clock.”
“I just know these kinds of things.”
“Really?” she whispered.
“Yes.
“That’s a remarkable talent.” Her hand curled into a loose fist on her leg. “What time are you leaving in the morning?”
“Are you going to miss me?”
She made a face, but her eyes glimmered up at me. “That’s not why I was asking. I was just curious.”
“I told my parents I’d be home by lunch.” Using my other hand, I scooped a few strands of hair off her face and then I rested my hand on the top of her head.
“So I probably have to leave between eight and nine.”
“That’s early.”
“It is.” When her eyes drifted shut, I wanted to kiss her. “But the drive is easy.”
“And you’re not coming back until Sunday night?”
“Correct.” I took a deep breath. “Are you sure you’re not going to miss me?”
She smiled, but with anxiety. “It’ll be like a vacation for me.”
I laughed. “That was entirely mean.”
“Wasn’t it?”
“But I know you’re lying.”
“You do?”
“Yep.” I moved my hand, gently touching her cheek. Her eyes snapped open, and I smiled down at her. “You’re going to miss me, but you’re not going to admit it.”
Shortcake was silent as I trailed my fingers from her jaw to her chin, coming close to her bottom lip. “I’ll miss you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Her eyes drifted closed as she relaxed against me once more. I continued to trace a path from her cheek to her lip, haunted by what she had said in her sleep. “You talk in your sleep.”
Her eyes opened, and I swear she paled. “I do?”
I nodded.
“Are you messing with me? Because I swear to God, if you’re messing with me, I’m going to hurt you.”
That unease was back, and I wasn’t sure why. “I’m not messing with you, sweetheart.”
She sat up, twisting on the couch, facing me. “What did I say?”
“Nothing really.”
“For real?” Her expression was so earnest and so serious I wished I hadn’t said anything.
I leaned forward, scrubbing my hands down my face. “You were just murmuring stuff. I couldn’t really make out what you were saying.” I looked at her. “It was kind of cute.”
She held my gaze, seeming to take what I said as word and then glanced at the clock. “Holy crap, you suck at your special ability at knowing the time.”
I shrugged. I knew it was well past three in the morning. “I guess I should be going home.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and then tried again. “Be careful when you drive.”
Standing, I stretched my back. “I will.” And before she could freak on me, I bent down and kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, Avery.”
Her eyes were closed, hands balled together in front of her chest. When she spoke, it sounded like she was whispering a prayer. “Good night, Cam.”
I made it to the door before she sprung up like a tight coil, hands gripping the back of the couch. “Cam?”
My heart beat wildly as I stopped. “Yeah?”
She took a deep breath and that heartfelt expression was back. “I had a really good time tonight.”
I smiled and was amazed to see her lips do the same. “I know.” I opened the door, stopping on my way out as I turned to her. She was still there, kneeling on the couch, watching me. “I’ll see you Monday.”
“Okay.”
I didn’t want to leave. “Bright and early.”
The smile reached her eyes, lightening them. “All right.”
And for the first time in forever, I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay here. I had to force myself out the door.
Twelve
Jase shocked me with a text before I got out of town, asking if he could tag along. Him going home with me wasn’t so much of a surprise, but I had thought with the four-day break, he’d be at the farm.
He was waiting for me at the house he stayed at when he wasn’t home—a frat-run party central not too far from campus. I’d spent many a night, none recently, passed out in one of the many rooms in the large three-story home.
Climbing in, Jase clapped his hands together, rubbing them. “God, it’s getting fucking cold.”
“True.” I slipped the gears into drive and whipped around in a mean U-turn. “You’re not spending time . . . ?”
He ran a hand through his hair, causing it to flop all over the place. “Got an extra hat?”
“Just the one on my head. Want it?”
“No.” Slinking down in the seat, he sighed as he shook his hair out. “They decided to head up to Pennsylvania to see some cousins or something.
I stole a glance at him as I hit the main route, heading for the interstate. “And you didn’t want to go?”
“Nah.”
There was definitely something else behind it, because there was no way that Jase would pass up spending that kind of time with Jack, but if I knew anything about Jase, he talked about shit when he was damn well ready to do so.
Halfway into the drive, Jase passed out and only woke when I hooked a right onto the narrow lane leading up to my parents’ home. Sunlight sliced through the thick trees, casting patches of shimmery light on the road. When we were kids, my sister and I played a mean game of hide-and-go-seek in these woods.
I followed the driveway around the back of the house, parking the truck next to the detached garage I’d help Dad put in during my, uh, extended stay.
The house was silent and toasty warm as we entered through the back patio. There was a faint smell of pumpkin in the air, and I grinned. Mom must’ve been baking. It was still early afternoon though, and neither of my parents or my sister would be home for a while.
Jase and I devoured the freshly baked pumpkin pie over a beer. There was a pensive, brooding look to his face and when he disappeared upstairs to the guest bedroom he typically stayed in; I let him be and headed to my old bedroom.
Mom kept it the way it was when I lived here, except neater. The same bed was butted up against the wall, in the middle of the room. Trophies lined the wall shelving that Dad had built. The TV on the dresser and the desk I rarely used hadn’t collected even a speck of dust.
I smiled as I shuffled toward the bed, kicking off my sneakers. There was a time, after the incident with Teresa’s ex-boyfriend, when I had hated these four walls. I’d loathed this house and this town and this state and myself.
Crashing on the bed, I stretched out and closed my eyes. Things were . . . different now, better. The only problem with coming home, it was impossible to not think about what happened in the house almost three years ago or Thanksgiving morning when Teresa finally told us the truth. The kind of rage that had slipped over me was something I’d never experienced before, but had only read about.
Murderous rage. It really did exist and it really was like tasting blood in your mouth. And that anger hadn’t faded in the hours after learning the truth nor had it really dissipated when I found that living punk ass and returned the favor with my fists. Afterward, that anger had warped into something unmanageable and it had eaten away at me like a cancer.
To this day I wished I had done something different that night, but there still wasn’t an ounce of regret in my veins. The judge, the lawyers, the community service and the weekly meetings had done nothing to change that, but when I thought about Avery, I wished I did feel that way. I doubted that she would want to be around me if she knew the truth.
Mom gave the best hugs.
There was a sheen to her eyes and she stepped back, clasp
ing my shoulders. Still dressed in her white lab coat, she had come straight home after surgery. “I see you found the pie I left you.”
“I had help.”
Her smile spread. “Jase is here?”
I nodded as I leaned against the counter. “He’s upstairs sleeping.”
She smoothed back a few strands of hair that had escaped her twist. “Well, I’m sure a certain someone will be thrilled to see that you’ve brought him along with you.”
My brows lifted and then I groaned. “Please tell me she is not still infatuated with Jase.”
Mom laughed softly as she shrugged off her oversized sweater, draping it along the back of her chair. “I think ‘infatuated’ would be the wrong word to use.”
Rolling my eyes, I groaned. When I’d been on home confinement, Jase had spent almost every free moment up here, pulling my head out of my ass. And Teresa had spent every spare second spying on us and stalking Jase.
Mom drifted over to the coffeemaker, pulling out the empty pot. “Jase is a really nice boy. I think—”
“Do not even think about going there,” I warned, folding my arms. Jase was a good guy—a good guy, with a shit ton of baggage and a long list of broken hearts, who wouldn’t come within ten feet of my little sister. “Where’s Dad?” I asked, deftly changing the subject.
“He’s still at the office, but he’ll be home shortly.” She filled the pot with water. “I was thinking we all could do dinner at Joe’s. I think both you and Jase like that place, and as long as it serves red meat—”
“Dad will be happy.” I smiled, pushing off the counter. “That works for me.”
“Want a cup?”
“Sure.” I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, squeezing her. “Have I told you lately that you’re the best mom ever?”
She laughed as she patted my arms. “I’m the only mom you got, boy.”
“Still,” I replied. “Best mom.”
I let go as she shook her head and was in the process of heading upstairs to wake up Jase’s lazy ass when Teresa came in the front door.
“Cam!” She let out a high-pitched squeal when she saw me in the foyer and dropped her book bag. The pint-sized terror took one step and launched herself at me.
