by Stella Night
“We’ll see about that,” I said.
He shook his head. “No more of that. No more doubts today. Today you’re going to have some fun.”
“And what’s your idea of fun?” I asked.
His smile widened. “Oh, I can think of a few things. But for now, I know exactly where I’m going to take you. Grab the rest of your groceries. I need to pick up a few things of my own.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like it’s none of your business. Like it’s going to be a surprise. I’ll meet you at the truck in twenty minutes.”
***
Noah
We dropped Rachel’s stuff at her place, and then we hit the road again.
“So where are you taking me?” she asked.
“Patience,” I said. “You’ll know when we get there. Just relax and enjoy the ride.”
Rachel stared out the window at the passing trees, a grin playing on her pretty lips.
“This place is beautiful,” she sighed. “It was so dark last night and I was so stressed out, I didn’t really get a chance to appreciate it.”
I wanted to tell her Bear Haven was more beautiful now that she was in it, but it sounded like a cheesy line, even though it was really the way I felt. I held back.
“It’s a great place to live,” I said.
“Mmm, I’ll bet. You’ve lived here your whole life?”
“Born and raised.”
“Do you think you could ever live somewhere else?” she asked.
“What? Like New York City?”
“Yeah.”
I thought about it for a second. “I don’t think so. There’s too much going on there. I’m a simple guy with simple tastes. What about you? Do you think you could settle down in a place like this?”
She looked out the window thoughtfully. I held my breath awaiting her answer.
“I don’t know,” she said finally. “It’s definitely growing on me. The place could use a lot less Gillian, though.”
“I agree with you there. Well, wait until you see where I’m taking you. There’s no crazy bitches there.”
The truck climbed up a steep highway weaving up a mountain. There weren’t any other cars or people out here. Rachel and I might have been the only two people in the entire world.
It was a pleasant thought.
We rounded a bend. Almost there. I turned onto a hidden dirt track that barely looked like a road at all. A person would miss if it they didn’t know it was there, and very few people knew of its existence.
The road broke through the trees, revealing our destination.
A ring of trees encircled a hidden glade. A pond sat in the center of the clearing like a glittering jewel and a waterfall cascaded down from the the mountainside. At this time of day, the sun shined directly into the clearing, forming rainbow colors in the falling mist.
I looked over at Rachel. Her eyes were wide and her mouth dropped open.
“Oh my god, Noah,” she said. Her hand reached out and gripped my arm. Her touch made my blood hot and my chest feel tight.
“You like it?” I asked.
“I love it,” she said breathlessly.
She looked radiant as her eyes drank in our surroundings. There was a sense of childlike wonder in her expression, like she was seeing something from a fairy tale. A warm satisfaction glowed within me.
This was my favorite place in the whole world. It was my private sanctuary where I could come and get away from it all. No matter how troubled I was feeling, I could come here and be at peace.
I’d never shared it with anybody. But for some reason, I wanted to share it with Rachel. Now that she’d seen it, I knew I’d made the right choice. I could tell from her expression she loved it just as much as I did. That made me fall in love with her even more.
We got out of the truck and she wandered away to the dip her hand in the pool. I took the opportunity to grab a blanket from the truck and spread it on the soft grass beside her. Then I pulled a couple of bags from the truck and and brought them over to the blanket.
“Is this what you were being all secretive about at the store?” Rachel asked, smiling.
It was good to see her smile. Some of the tension from earlier had disappeared.
“Don’t get too excited,” I said. “It’s just something I threw together.”
I laid the bags on the blanket, feeling surprisingly nervous. It wasn’t an emotion I was used to feeling, but Rachel had this effect on me. The truth was, I wanted to impress her. I had to make every moment count if I was going to make her mine.
I opened the bags and pulled out a bottle of wine, crackers and cheese, and an assortment of fruit. I’d also bought a cork screw and some plastic cups.
“Just something you threw together?” she asked, looking at me with a curious expression.
“Too much?” I asked. This sort of spread wasn’t my style so I wasn’t sure if I would come off looking foolish.
“No, it’s nice,” she said.
She sat down on the blanket and I joined her.
“I know it’s only lunch time, so it’s a bit early for a drink. Still, after the morning you had, I figured a bit of wine is just what the doctor ordered.”
“That sounds lovely,” she said. “As long as you’re not just trying to get me drunk.”
I laughed at that. “If I was trying to get you drunk, I would have brought whiskey.”
I popped the cork and filled her cup.
“Here you go,” I said, handing it to her.
I filled my own cup and held it up. “What should we toast to?”
She looked thoughtful for a second. “To new beginnings,” she said finally.
I nodded. “I like that. To new beginnings.”
We tapped our plastic cups together. I took a sip of the deep burgundy liquid. I wasn’t a big wine drinker, but it tasted all right. It lit a warmth inside me as it slid down my throat. I was feeling damn good, but I was pretty sure it was the beautiful woman sitting across from me more than the wine.
Every minute I spent with her deepened my belief that she was the one. I was absolutely certain now. Shifters didn’t need months or years to know. Like a lot of things in the shifter world, the connection between a shifter and his mate was supernatural. It defied reason or logic, just like turning into a bear didn’t make any damn sense. I didn’t know exactly how it worked, and I didn’t care.
All that mattered was I knew the connection when I felt it, and I felt it with Rachel.
She sipped her wine and munched idly on some crackers. Mostly, she seemed captivated by the serene setting around us. I was enjoying it, too. Normally, I came out here alone. Having Rachel with me changed things. I was looking around the place with new eyes, wondering how she must be seeing things.
It was like I could appreciate the place again for the first time. I was glad I’d brought her out here, and I was happy that I hadn’t brought anyone else out here before. It was like I had saved this for someone special, and that someone was Rachel.
“So, what do you think?” I asked.
She shot me a questioning look. I gestured around the glade. “About this place,” I said.
“It’s amazing, Noah. Like something out of a dream.”
“I’m glad you like it. This is my favorite place in the world. And you’re the first person I’ve ever showed it to.”
Her eyes narrowed in disbelief. “Come on. Seriously?”
“Cross my heart.”
“So you’ve never brought any other women out here?”
I shook my head. “Not one.”
She looked troubled by the statement.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Why me?” she asked softly.
“What do you mean?”
“Why would you bring me out here? What the hell makes me so different?”
I was taken aback by the question. It was like Rachel had no idea how special she was. She’d mentioned being hurt by people she’d loved before. I had to wond
er if those people had broken her down and wrecked the way she saw herself. Like when she looked in the mirror, she saw the woman they’d told her she was, instead of the amazing woman she actually was.
The idea pissed me off. I cursed every person that had abused her like that. Anyone who could purposefully hurt a woman like Rachel didn’t deserve to live.
“Rachel, you’re an amazing woman. I don’t think you realize that about yourself.”
Her reaction was unexpected. She looked angry. “How can you say that? You don’t even know me.”
“It’s true that I don’t know everything about you, but I’ve seen enough to know that you’re unlike any woman I’ve ever met. You’re fun and beautiful and strong.”
“I am not strong,” she spat out bitterly. “Or beautiful.”
I shook my head. “Wrong on both accounts. You’re fucking gorgeous. You can’t even argue that. And you’re a lot stronger than you think.”
“You’re just saying that.”
“Bullshit. The way you handled Gillian this morning? You’re fucking braver than I am, standing up to her like that.”
Her stormy expression cleared a little, and a slight smile broke through. “She was being a crazy bitch. I wasn’t going to let her push me around.”
“You see? Stronger than you think.”
“But I was scared shitless. I was only pretending to be brave.”
“The only time you can be brave is when you’re scared. That’s the very definition of bravery. Doing something even though that something terrifies you.”
“I suppose that’s true, but it was just one time. That’s not really who I am.”
“Okay, what about coming to Bear Haven? You came out here to confront your writer’s block. It takes courage to leave behind your comfortable life to face your problems.”
Her expression darkened again.
“Shit,” I said. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No, it’s just, my coming out here wasn’t brave,” she said as if the admission pained her. “I came out here to write, yes. But I’m also running from something. Or more specifically, from someone.”
“A man?” I asked.
She nodded.
“He hurt you?” I asked, anger flaring in me. My bear roared inside me as well.
She nodded again, her eyes brimming with tears. She wiped the moisture away quickly, like she was embarrassed and didn’t want me to see.
“I fell in love with him. Well, I fell in love with the guy he pretended he was. But it was all a lie. The real him was a monster.”
Guilt stirred inside me. Her words hit too close to home. I was lying to her, too, and what I hid from her was the fact that I was a monster hiding behind my human form. Was I any different than the man she was running from?
I had to be, or at least I had to force myself to be a better man than that. Otherwise, the best thing to do would be to leave Rachel alone. She didn’t deserve to be hurt again, and I could never forgive myself if I was the one who hurt her.
I had to tell her the truth. But this wasn’t the moment. Not when she was finally opening herself up to me. I would tell her soon. For now, what she needed was for me to listen.
“He was cruel. Not physically, but words have power, too. They can cut deeper than a knife, and the wounds take longer to heal, if they ever heal at all.”
I wanted to hold her tightly and tell her everything was going to be okay, but I held back. I felt like she needed to finish telling her story, like drawing poison from a snake bite. She needed to get it all out before she could start recovering. So I waited, even though it pained me to do so.
“I ended things a few months ago, but he kept showing up, trying to get me back. Every time I felt like I could forget the things he said to me, he’d reappear. I feel like he’s the reason I can’t write anymore, like he broke me. I had to get away from him. That’s why I came out here.”
Her tears were flowing freely now. Every bead of moisture that slid down her cheek made the rage inside me burn hotter. I didn’t know how anyone could hurt a woman, especially a woman like this. She was so sweet and beautiful, it was like someone defacing a piece of art.
“Only someone weak would have stayed with him as long as I did,” she said.
“No, only someone brave could have walked away like you did.”
“I feel so stupid for letting myself fall for him,” she said. “Stupid and weak.”
“There’s nothing weak about letting yourself fall in love,” I said. “Even if you end up getting hurt.”
She looked at me. “Have you ever been in love?”
“Once. A long time ago. It didn’t end well either.”
She wiped her tears away. “What happened?”
“I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Oh come on. I just spilled my guts to you. Now you’re gonna hold back?”
“I’ve never told anyone about this. About her.”
“You’ve never brought anyone out here, either.”
I sighed. She had a point. “There isn’t much to tell. It was about ten years ago. I was just twenty at the time. Her name was Anna. She was alone in the world and so was I. My parents had passed away not too long before, and so had hers. Maybe that’s what drew us together in the first place.”
“I’m sorry,” Rachel said.
“That’s okay. It was a long time ago. I loved her, and I thought she loved me back. I opened myself up to her. Showed her the real me. Then she ran away and I never heard from her again.”
I stopped. There was no way to tell Rachel the truth. The truth was that I’d shown Anna my bear form and she freaked. The rest was true. She ran away and disappeared into thin air, as if she’d never existed.
“Is that why you always seem so closed off?” Rachel said.
“Am I closed off?”
She nodded.
“Well, I told you about Anna. I’ve literally never told anyone else about that. Not my brothers. Not anyone. That’s a start, right?”
“It is. Thank you for trusting me with that secret, Noah. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one whose had a bad relationship.”
“It feels good to get that off my chest,” I said and then took a deep breath. “Come on, I’ve got one more secret for you.”
It was time to tell her the truth about being a bear.
Chapter 9
Rachel
Noah took my hand and led me away, the way he was running away with my heart.
He was so strong and gruff, but there was a tenderness to him that he hid from the world. But he’d let me in. He showed me things he’d never shown anyone else and shared a painful secret that he’d never told anyone else.
When he opened himself to me, I felt like the most special woman in the world. When he told me I was strong, I almost believed him. When he looked into my eyes, I never wanted him to look away.
It was scary how fast I was falling for him. We’d only just met, but there was something about him that made me feel like I’d known him for years. I felt like we were meant to be together. It defied all rationality, but I couldn’t deny what I was feeling. I didn’t want to deny what I was feeling.
He led me to the rocks at the base of the waterfall, still holding my hand.
“Watch your step,” he said. “It’s slippery here.”
I nodded. “You’ll catch me if I fall, right?”
“Absolutely. I told you. You’re safe as long as you’re with me.”
I did feel safe with him. Safe enough that I told him about Nick. I promised myself I’d never tell anyone about him, but Noah drew it out of me somehow. Just talking about those painful memories made me feel better. The wound hadn’t closed or anything, but it hurt a hell of a lot less than before. The painful memories from my past didn’t seem as relevant when I was with Noah.
It was like, yes, there are men out in the world that will hurt you and lie to you, but not all men were like that. There was at least one man who wouldn’t
do that to me, and that man was holding my hand right now. I never wanted him to let go.
I climbed up onto a flat rock, moving carefully so as not to lose my balance. “What are we doing here?” I asked.
“You’ll see,” he said, edging his way forward, closer and closer to the falling curtain of water.
As we approached, I noticed a space behind the water. A second later, Noah disappeared behind the falls. If he hadn’t been holding my hand still, I might have thought he’d disappeared entirely.
I followed him through, staying surprisingly dry. Shifting blue light lit the dark space, and I realized that there was a cave hidden behind the falls. The ceiling of the secret grotto was several feet above my head, high enough that I didn’t feel cramped. The ground was smooth, as if running water had polished it over the course of thousands of years.
“This place just keeps getting better and better,” I said.
“Just wait,” he said. “There’s more.”
I followed him deeper into the cave. Noah pulled out his phone and used it as a flashlight. Its light was just strong enough to see where we were going. The roar of the waterfall dwindled to a low rumble as we walked.
“Here we are,” Noah said.
I looked around in the dim light. This spot didn’t look any different than the rest of the cave.
“I don’t understand.”
Noah’s smile widened and he raised the light so it was just inches from the cave wall.
Crude images had been painted on the cave wall in red pigments. The drawings looked ancient. I leaned my face closer to the images. Someone had drawn pictures of men and animals on the wall of the cave. No, not just any animals.
“Are those bears?” I asked.
Noah nodded, watching my expression. “Yes, men and bears.”
The drawings were rough and sketchy. The men didn’t seem to be hunting the bears. Rather, the men and animals formed a circle, each one alternating spots. So it was man then bear then man again. There was a strange sense of unity between man and beast.
“How old are these?” I asked, awed by the whole thing.
“Thousands of years old,” Noah said. “But I can’t say exactly.”
There were other drawings. So many that they spread across the wall and disappeared beyond the circle of light. I felt a sense of vertigo when I tried to imagine how old these drawings were. I could feel the span of time between whoever had drawn these and me, and it was a length of time my mind could barely comprehend. All of human history existed between me and the artist.
