by Tate James
Waited, while my body ached…and my eyes slowly closed. Warmth curled around me, blocking me in on both sides. I cracked open my eyes to see the black dog sitting hard up against me. The pup on the other and the quiet golden colored mastiff curled in a tight ball at my feet.
I glanced down to find the kitten fast asleep against my chest and then closed my eyes once more. Darkness seeped in, even through the shield. I plunged deep, leaving the cold and pain far behind.
“Jesus Christ…is she buried under there?”
A deep snarl called me. I cracked open my eyes to the blanket of white. The snow shifted, falling to crash against the ground, revealing Renegade’s wide eyes.
My heart lunged. I sat up, hitting warm bodies and stilled. The big brute peered through the surface at the animals and then shook his head. “Let me in, babe.”
Power flowed around his body as he pressed through. Cassian followed, and then Lorcan. They took one look at me, surrounded by dogs and smothered smirks.
“We thought you were under attack,” Cassian muttered and glanced at my moat of fur. “I can see now we were right, attacked by puppies and dogs. Trust you, Gabe…trust you.”
I clutched my hand against my chest and shoved against the ground. The black dog lifted his head, watching as Cassian crossed the space and reached for me. Renegade was half a step behind, Lorcan on his heels.
“God, I missed you.” Cassian grabbed me by the waist and lifted.
His lips were warm, pressing against mine. Renegade’s fingers skimmed my jawline, turning my head and breaking the kiss. He wouldn’t wait, lowering his head to take my mouth. I was swept up as hands went around my waist. My body moved on its own, wrapping my legs around his waist.
Lorcan was next, his hands sliding along my arms and then my chest…before he muttered. “What the fuck?”
I broke from Renegade’s desperate kiss, inhaling hard and turned to my protector. Lorcan just stared at his hand on my chest, and muttered. “What the hell is that?”
I yanked the collar of my shirt, exposing the tuft of grey fur and one sleeping kitten.
“Lucky kitten,” Cassian murmured sounding almost bitter.
I smirked and shook my head.
“We have to go.” Lorcan glanced behind us to the sleeping dogs.
I searched his eyes as he turned to me. “What the hell happened? I waited…” He could never lie…not to me.
So he shook his head, reached up and slid his jacket free. “Not here. In the car.”
Warmth settled against my shoulders, and the spicy scent of Lorcan filled my nose as he grabbed the collar, waiting for me to slip my hands through the sleeves.
“Gotta go, babe.” Renegade glanced at the sleeping dogs. “We lost hours making sure it was safe to come for you.”
I followed his gaze to my three companions and curled my hand around the kitten against my chest. “Okay, just give me a second.”
They nodded, looking solemn, before Renegade muttered, “We’ll wait for you in the car.”
They turned and left, pressing against my power before slipping through. The black dog lifted his head as I neared. He gave a chuff, watching me as I made for the tiny tin shed on the side of the cages. I had to work fast, take only what I needed. Cold steel stuck against my fingers as I gripped the bolt and yanked. I grabbed the harnesses, taking the two biggest and a smaller one before I turned and found an empty bag.
I filled the thing with as much kibble as I could and grabbed the small box of kitten food before stepping out.
Car doors opened and closed with a thud. The sound permeated the barrier. Even though the blanket of snow against my energy stole the view. The pup lifted his head and gave a whine as I neared.
“It’s going to be okay,” I murmured and knelt. Deep brown eyes gripped me as I slipped the harness over his head and settled it around his chest.
I moved fast, buckling the worn leather and then moved to the black dog. “You going to give me problems?”
He gave a low whine, shifted closer and craned his head forward. His warm tongue licked my chin before he shifted. I scratched the knotted hair on the top of his head as I slipped the harness over his ears and settled it against his body. I worked the clasps and then moved to the last one, a tan female who shifted and whined. Her long tail thumping the ground as I neared. “We have to stick together. Now, they’ll bitch and moan, it’s what they do. But don’t take it to heart, okay?”
I gripped the leads with one hand, and held the kitten as I rose from the ground. “Ready for this?” The black dog gave a whimper before I grabbed the food and answered. “Yeah, me too.”
One tiny tug and all three were trotting beside me. I kept the shield in place as we stepped through and made for the car. White smoke billowed as I rounded the trunk and then opened the rear door.
I dropped the shield with a rush and the snow hit the ground with a thud, drawing every gaze as I tugged the leads, and the black dog leapt into the crammed back seat.
“Smells like wet dog,” Renegade growled from the passenger’s seat as the other two jumped carefully in.
Cassian glanced over his shoulder from behind the wheel, and then stilled. “Oh hell no.”
Lorcan just stared straight ahead as Renegade craned his head to glance behind to bark. “What the fuck, Gabe?”
“No,” Cassian growled and shook his head before he yanked the door open.
I gripped the leads in my hand and slammed the door behind me as Cassian climbed from the car to growl. “No way in goddamn Hell!”
5
“Shh.” I lifted my hand and raised my finger. “Just relax and let it happen.”
Cassian’s eyes bugged. He shook his head so hard I heard a crack from his neck. “No fucking way, Gabe. The last time I took that handy piece of fucking advice I had Lorcan here making eyes at me for a damn week.”
“It was just a kiss,” Lorcan muttered. “I wasn’t the one who made a big deal of it.”
Cassian jerked his gaze to the male beside me and shook his head. “I’m so not getting into that now. But that—” He stabbed the air at the dogs beside me. “Is not going to happen.”
“We can’t take care of them, Gabe.” For once Renegade wasn’t the one losing his shit. I was damn well impressed. “We can barely take care of ourselves.”
I glanced at the animals beside me…and then the dogs as I placed my hand on black dog’s shoulder. My Black Dog. “They’re staying.”
Cassian threw his hands in the air and turned away. “This again…this…goddamn stubborn streak!”
I just sat there with the dogs in silence…watching the show. I would’ve bet money on Renegade being the one to lose his shit.
“They’re right you know,” Lorcan murmured and then turned his head. “If we have to run, how can we run with three dogs and a kitten nestled between your breasts?”
“Same way I run with all three of you,” I answered. “In fact, these guys don’t seem to bitch as much…you want to run, then let’s run.”
Lorcan just shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”
I turned my head and stared straight ahead…waiting.
“What if we have to hitch?” Cassian shook his head. “Or sleep in a motel, no one is going to let us have three mangy mutts in the room.”
“Then we don’t hitch,” I answered. “And we don’t sleep in a motel, hasn’t been an issue so far.”
He was pissed and not because of any bullshit excuse. He was jealous. That’s all it came down to. They were all jealous. All they saw was less for them.
Less affection.
Less time.
Less me.
“I love you,” I answered. “Each and every one of you. None of you took a loss of my affection, or my time because there were more than one of you. In fact, if you think about it, our relationship only became stronger because there were three of you. Now you’re going to let four animals that were twice-abandoned rock your boat? No one wants them,
not even the person who was obligated to care. Now, if you’re gonna sit, or stand there and bitch to me that we can’t make room for more love in this gig, then I’m better off on my own.”
“Oh come on,” Cassian growled.
“They were abandoned twice?” Renegade glanced over his shoulder at me, and then the dogs.
“There’s a note stuck to the board in that office, one I found already open by the way. The note said, I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry…please forgive me. That’s it, no number to call…they just walked away. They had no food when I found them, nothing more than dirty water. If you think I’m going to turn my back on them, then you don’t know me at all.”
“Shit! Shit!” Cassian screamed into the wind. “Shitshitshitshit!”
“Like I said,” I murmured and trapped Renegade’s gaze. “This is happening, like it or not.”
“Get back in the car.” Renegade glanced through the open driver’s door to Cassian. “Her mind’s made up.”
Seems like they did know me after all.
Cassian took a step and then climbed behind the wheel. “One whiff of something bad and I’m strapping them to the damn roof.”
I ruffled Black Dog’s fur as the pup slumped to the seat and laid his head on my lap. The Jeep lurched forward, tires skidding in the snow before the tread caught.
“How the hell are we supposed to run…” Cassian started…mumble mumble mumble.
I ignored him and stared out of the window as the car warmed. “You going to tell me what happened now? Or am I going to replay the worst-case scenario inside my head?”
“Worst case might be close,” Lorcan. “We lost them…and the Senator and her husband.”
I flinched, heart hammering and jerked my gaze toward him. “What do you mean lost them? Are they dead…Jesus…Jesus they’re dead.”
“No, not dead, taken,” Cassian snarled. “We tried to stop them…but there were more men waiting at the back door where we came through. We were separated, and that sonofabitch Gready seemed to know every fucking move we made. He was right on us, every goddamn step.”
My body ached, thighs bruised from the hotel’s front door slamming against me, and in a heartbeat my attacker filled my head. I could still feel his fingers tangled in my hair. Still feel the sting of my scalp as I shoved my power into his chest and tore away.
“I was so damn worried you’d panic and run back the way we came.” Lorcan reached across the seat and stole my hand from Black Dog’s shoulder.
“Tell her…” Renegade. “Tell her what you saw.”
“Tell me what?” I reached through the collar of my shirt and pulled the kitten free. There was a pile of warm jackets in the rear of the four-wheel drive. I reached over the seat and placed her down. She barely stirred, drifting back to sleep in an instant. “Tell me what?”
His dark skin glistened under the street lights as Cassian drove us through the city. I stared into his eyes, and watched those perfect lips. “I exchanged with one of the guards. He didn’t know a lot, but I caught snatches…it’s not just the Senator and her husband they came for tonight. They went for their daughter. Gabe, they went for Spark.”
I dropped his hand, confusion collided with fear inside my head. “They went for Spark? Why?”
Lorcan’s brow narrowed. He glanced to Renegade before he settled back on me. I flinched with the movement. Why did he look at Renegade?
“They’re after a girl…there was a name, Fail Safe. Do you remember her?”
I shook my head, scattered memories of my past rising like ghosts. “I’ve told you before. I don’t remember anyone other than Spark.”
“But that was after, babe,” Renegade murmured and twisted on the seat to look at me. “That was after we were out. Surely you must remember something from that place…something more than what Gready did to you?”
I wrenched my hand from Lorcan’s and stared out of the window. Don’t think about it…don’t think about it…stay here…please stay here…I tried to nail myself shut, tried to weigh down my feet with stones—tried to stay in the present.
But those words conjured the demons of my past…I was back there…back in that place…back with those things stuck to my head. Pain flared, carving like lightning trapped inside my head. I winced and grabbed the side of my head.
“Gabe?” Lorcan’s voice crowded in…
But it was too late…it was all too late.
Beast…
Black words in a neon flash of light.
Sounds were deafening…booming inside my head. Something around my wrists…something holding me down.
Animal…
“Stop the car,” I whimpered and clawed for the door handle “I said, stop the goddamn car!”
Tires squealed. The Jeep skidded. But I didn’t care…I didn’t care at all. The past rose like a tsunami slamming against my shores as we hit the gutter with a jolt, then I was out, stumbling free from the car, acid rising in the back of my throat.
Faces filled my mind…girls…girls just like me…No…no…no…no…my body trembled, power surged and then ebbed. I tried to gather my power, tried to slam the barrier in place, severing my present from my past.
“Gabe?” Renegade stepped closer, his eyes wide with terror. “Gabe you’re scaring the fuck out of me.”
Tears blurred the snow as it fell. I stumbled forward and grasped the timber power pole. I was scaring him? No…no…no…no…
Fail Safe…
The whisper of a name. I jerked my head upwards as tears spilled, meeting Renegade’s gaze.
“Oh baby.” He stepped closer, hand outstretched as the others neared.
“I can’t get it up,” my words were hoarse and pathetic. “I can’t get the shield up.”
Sadness crowded his eyes. Renegade glanced at the others and then took a slow step. He looked at me like I was broken…looked at me like I was falling apart. I closed my eyes…the deafening noise of my past pounding in my head.
Fail Safe.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s all going to be okay.”
“I don’t want to remember.” I opened my eyes, tears turning cold on my cheek. “I don’t want to remember their faces. I don’t want to remember their names.”
I raked claws through my mind, dragging the barrier toward me. But no matter how much I gathered the power inside me, their faces slipped through.
Fail Safe…that’s what they call me…do you know why?
A girl’s voice drifted, snagged on the thorns of my past.
The doctor tells me it’s because I’m special.
“We’re all special,” the words slipped free.
“Yes, Gabe, we’re all special.” Cassian stepped closer. “The numbers on our wrists. They put them on there. They made us different. Do you remember? Do you remember what Gready’s father did to us? What they all did to us?”
Beast…
I closed my eyes.
Animal…
Flashes of light burned. So bright. Like headlights inside my mind.
Kill…
Kill for us…
Tick…tick…tick…
I shook my head, trying to tear free of the thorns.
“You’re remembering.” Lorcan’s eyes glowed. “It’s okay to be afraid…”
“Get out of my head,” I hissed through clenched teeth. “Lorcan get out.”
Memories slipped in. Things stuck to my head. A buzzing in my ear…the current raced, humming against my skin—and then pain—my teeth gnashed. Agony like claws against my skin. Tearing…shredding.
I shook my head. Stop this…stop this...stop this!
“We’re right here,” Cassian murmured. “You’re safe.”
My palms stung. I opened my eyes and looked down. Nails embedded into flesh. Blood welled in the cuts, beading until a crimson drop spilled free.
I’d kept them away…all the memories, all behind the shield inside my head.
“Fail Safe,” Lorcan murmured. “That
’s who Gready’s men had in their mind. That’s why they’ve gone after Spark. They want her…they want her more than they want to protect themselves.”
She came to me then, small, and thin. Pale skin shone against the flickers of lightning in the window. I lifted my head, just as I did in that place as she scooted closer. Fail Safe…that’s what they call me. The doctor says I’m special. He says we’re all special. But he said they want me most of all. Can you keep a secret?
The words echoed over and over….
Can you keep a secret…
Can you keep a secret…
I nodded then just as I did now.
I have to leave. I have to go far away. But I’ll come back for you, Gabriela. I’ll come back because you’re my friend.
I flinched. She’d been my friend. She’d been my friend and I’d forgotten her. What kind of person does that?
Clarity cut me deeper than a snow drenched wind ever could. I spent my entire life keeping the memories out, like ghosts that weren’t real. But now, now the curtain was lifted…now secrets spilled free. “I remember…I remember her.”
“We have to find her.” Cassian glanced at me, and then the others. “We don’t know who this Fail Safe is, and we don’t know what they want with her.”
Whatever they wanted, it was nothing good.
“Lakeside,” Lorcan murmured. “That’s where the Senator lives. That’s where Gready’s men are headed.”
I lifted my gaze to the open back door of the car. “It’s too far to drive.” I turned to them. “Momma and I went on a plane…we went on a plane and then a car met us at the airport.”
I remembered that night. Remembered how Momma gripped my hand tight and screamed. I stared at my hands, skin pale from the cold. I remember that man, the one with the white hair…the one who held out his hand and I shook it. I shook his hand and the ticking in my head started.
Tick…tick…tick…
“There’s no goddamn way we can get anywhere near an airport,” Cassian growled. “Unless one of you know how to fly a plane?”
I looked at Renegade, and then Cassian and finally Lorcan as the bitter wind picked up. It wasn’t hope I smelled on the icy gust—it was fear.
