Why did he leave without saying goodbye? Was this his idea of avoiding the morning after mistake?
Over an hour passed, while I toured his home, observing his Christmas decorations and family photos. It was weird for me to be there without him—out of place and suddenly uninvited to his personal space.
I found my flats by the fireplace, keys and phone in the kitchen and slipped out the garage door, stepping over the security sensor as to not leave the house open.
The few steps to my front door couldn’t come quick enough.
Standing in the shower with the hot water soothing my aching muscles, I felt naked. Not because I was physically without clothes, but because he wasn’t with me, touching me, making contact with his body to mine—eating me to a level I’d never understood before. Confliction consumed me—torn between what felt right and what I knew was wrong.
I missed him, but I was so confused.
Intimate communication wasn’t exactly his strongest character trait. As I showered, I reminisced about the way he made love. He was quiet for the most part, with only a few exclamations of what he was feeling, and it was always intense. When we talked, he asked more questions than he answered, and I’d given of myself more than I ever had to anyone. But, Ian held back. Emotionally, he was far away.
Is that why he chose to go to sex clubs? No emotional commitment? After all, he said it was just mindless sex.
I toweled off and quickly dressed in jeans and a sweater. It was time I made a trip into the boutique, since I’d never been away from it for so long at a time, especially during a peak holiday season. While Isabella and I had talked multiple times throughout the days, it wasn’t the same. Getting back to my game would pacify my time and clear my addlebrained psyche.
I opened the back door and found Isabella grabbing some tissue paper from the supply closet.
“Hey, this is a nice surprise, but you’re supposed to be enjoying your vacation.”
“Oh, you know me. I did enjoy it, but time’s winding down, and I thought I’d check in.”
She led us to the front counter of the store. Once she restocked the wrapping supplies and tidied the area, she turned and studied my face. “Your skin is glowing like your very happy, but your expression is sad. What gives?”
A stinging hot blush crept over my cheeks, and I quickly turned to straighten the jewelry display behind the counter. “I had a mini-spa treatment, which was relaxing to say the least, but I miss Ty like crazy.”
It wasn’t a lie really, more like a little talking in code.
“Go home, put your feet up and enjoy yourself. Monday will be here soon enough.”
My glance around the store revealed serious empty spaces, as though we were moving out. Clothing racks were sparse, and the gift section was definitely in need of restocking.
“Let me help you put out stock, and then I’ll go do some after-holiday cooking.”
“Honey, we don’t have any stock to put out. This is it. A few deliveries are expected tomorrow, but sales were off the charts, and it’s two more weeks until market.”
“That is awesome. But how did you handle it alone? Why didn’t you call me?”
She twisted her long dark hair into a clip in the back. “My sister’s ski trip cancelled, so she hung out the first day with me, and as we got busier, she fell right in sync. She assisted the customers and wrapped gifts, while I ran the register and kept the inventory going.”
“Please tell Petra thank you for me, and I’ll be sending her something for helping.”
Glancing around to take inventory, I saw we needed merchandise. “Okay, I’m gonna put together some emergency orders, just so we don’t look so bare until the spring lines arrive.”
Back in my office, I tossed a stack of catalogues on my desk before taking a seat. When I heard the dull toning and felt the vibrations of my phone sounding off on the edge of my desk, I ignored it.
I looked up to find Isabella watching me with curiosity, obviously wondering why I didn’t grab my cell, but I didn’t want her to see my reaction to what Ian had texted, so I tried to act casual.
“You gonna get that?”
“Nah, it’s some stupid neighborhood Twitter feed.” Standing, I picked up my bag and the catalogues. “On second thought, I’m gonna take these home and work from there.”
She laughed. “Fine, but after you order, you’re fired until Monday.”
I had started the engine and put the car in drive to pull out of the parking lot, when the flash from the alerts on my phone jerked my attention to my purse in the passenger seat. Not able to stand it any longer, I had to look and laughed at myself when I saw the text was Carson.
My laugh quickly faded into a growl, as I read his commanding message. They were going to his hunting cabin in Oklahoma for the weekend, and the puppy was sick.
Sure, she was.
He sent a matter-of-fact demand that I pick up the puppy and keep it until they got back.
Jerk. I swore he pulled stunts like that all the time just to have some form of control. Always wanting me to be at his beck and call.
The silence from Ian was hurtful. He’d got what he wanted and shelved me in his already fucked file.
While I soaked in the tub and tried to forget him with a bottle of wine, I listened to Yolo whine for attention—so much for having a tummy ache.
Such an exciting holiday vacation.
“Chelsie, where are you?” Shawna’s voice came from my living room or kitchen area.
What the fuck was she doing in my house? She had a spare key, but it was for housesitting when I was out of town.
“Just a minute, I’m getting a bath,” I yelled to her.
She didn’t even wait; she walked right into my bathroom while I was still drying off. “Geez, you scared the shit outta me.”
She pulled a stool from under the vanity and took a seat. “I wouldn’t have to if you’d answer your messages.”
“What messages?”
“I’ve been calling and texting for the last several hours, and Carson also called in a panic, looking for you.”
“Shit, what’s wrong? I already went to get Yolo from him before they went to the cabin.”
“Ty wants to come home. Carson wants you to go get him.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course he does, so he can have a weekend frolicking and fucking that bambooza.” I looked at the clock; it was after ten, and I’d been drinking.
“I’m legally drunk. I can’t drive up there; besides, it’s almost four hours away. But I don’t want my baby to stay if he doesn’t want to.” I studied the designs on my rug. The news of Ty being lonely made me instantly sad.
“Chelsie, look at me.”
Her face bore the stern look of a mother about to deliver punishment. “I’ll drive you if that’s what you really want to do, but I think you should tell Ty you will pick him up on Sunday. You need this time away from him, and he needs it too. He just wants to come home and play video games.”
She had a great point.
I took a moment to digest what she said, perhaps allowing it to percolate with my previously ingested vino. “You’re right. I’ll call him right now. I’ll let you listen, so you know I don’t pussy out.”
Shawna followed me to the kitchen and poured us both a glass of wine from a new bottle, while I smoothed things over with Ty and Carson. They both understood I wasn’t feeling well, which was an understatement of sorts, and it was too late to drive. Sunday was the plan, unless things changed and Ty decided to stay his entire visit, but I couldn’t come before then.
With my glass of wine in hand, I headed to the sofa. Shawna was nursing hers, which meant she wasn’t ready to leave any time soon, and she had questions loaded.
“You gonna make me ask?”
With a slight push, several of the pillows tumbled to the floor, and I slumped in the corner of the sofa, staring at the brightly burning fire. “You were right. I didn’t know him.”
“
Oh God, I know that guilty look. It’s usually when you splurge on shoes, but I think maybe this time it’s because you slept with him.” She gasped. “Tell me everything.”
I started with the study of sexual satisfaction and finished with the I haven’t heard from him cliffhanger. I tried to convince myself it was never set up to be a great love story. In fact, he’d started out the night by asking me to be bad with him. What good could come of that?
“There are no lights on at his place, and the papers are piling up on his sidewalk. Something happened. You need to call him, you stubborn ass.”
“Don’t call me names,” I teased.
“Well, you are.” She walked over to the counter and retrieved my phone, tossing it at me before she joined me on the sofa. “Move your ass.”
Nervously, I dialed his number only to have it go directly to voice mail. Being the stubborn ass I was, I did leave a message, so I didn’t have to answer to Mother-May-I for hanging up, and I also wrapped everything up with a bow by following up with a text.
Like I needed verification, I walked to my front entry, opened the door, and looked down the sidewalk… Yep, the papers were still there. “I’m going to walk down to his house. I’ll be right back.”
“You’re in a robe,” she yelled after me.
I didn’t care; I simply needed to ring his bell. Oh, I wanted to ring his God forsaking fucking bell, all right.
There were no lights on; she was right. And there was no answer at the door. What the fuck happened to Ian?
Chapter 10
Friday was spent placing orders for the store, and I managed not to look at a clock until after six in the evening.
What kind of guy has sex like that and just disappears into thin air? His complete about-face had turned my world upside down and left me in a doubting ball of hot mess.
Accepting an invitation to go out, I got dressed against my better judgment and joined Jorge and Shawna for dinner at Kenny’s Smoke House in Plano. The food was excellent and worth the drive, but I hoped it would help get my mind off Ian.
After a couple of cocktails, I got lucky and didn’t care anymore—about anything. Poor Jorge, he was our designated driver, and sometimes, Shawna and I had been known to let our hair down and get a little rowdy.
After dinner, we decided to go to The Blue Martini Bar and kept the night going.
Somehow, someway, I got undressed and into my bed, but I don’t recall how.
Hangovers don’t put anyone in a good mood, and I was affected no differently. When I woke up to the sound of my phone going off and saw it was Ian, I just let it go to voice mail.
He called two more times, but allowing my bitchy side to take over, I wanted him to wait. After all, it had been three freakin’ days.
A lengthy soak in the tub gave me time to plan out my speech for him. He was so full of shit, explaining how sex would give me freedom and expression when all it really did was give him another notch of satisfaction. Well, I was ready for any scenario he tossed my way. After I got past being angry, the hurt set in and so did my insecurities.
Every time I looked in the mirror, I still saw that woman who let herself go, and the hateful words of my ex-husband echoed in my mind. What man would want me with all my invisible baggage?
By the late afternoon, my hangover had waned, and I suddenly found myself ready to get the shit over with. When I called him, it went straight to the damn voice mail again.
Enough of the power play!
No need to leave a message, by then I was completely over it and done with playing cat and mouse. Besides, I didn’t want to be told I was a good-for-now gal, and it could never be anything more. Who wants to hear that? I didn’t need a neighborhood fuck-buddy. I decided to save him the trouble and do it first. Play the friend card.
With bins from the attic spread out on the floor, I started tearing down the Christmas decorations and was done in record time. Next, I confirmed Ty wanted to stay with his dad a few more days, which I figured would happen. But conveniently, Carson wanted to bring him home on New Year’s Eve, which I was sure was because he had a party to go to with the home wrecker. That was okay with me, I’d rather spend the start of the New Year with my son.
What was I to do in the meantime?
With the store so empty and inventory delayed due to holiday backorders, I decided to take a little trip. A very last-minute trip, but one desperately needed. Perhaps Shawna would go with me.
“Wanna get away to the spa? It’ll be my treat,” I begged.
“Oh, dang, I just picked up a trip for a pilot who’s sick, and I leave in a couple of hours. Maybe when I get back on Tuesday?”
“I can’t do it then. Ty will be coming home on Wednesday. We can go some other time.”
“Okay, but if you go by yourself, holler at Jorge, and he will take Yolo.”
While I may have hung up with her, I didn’t give up on my plans. With the luck of the draw, I phoned the airline and got the next flight out to Tucson, Arizona. A few days at Canyon Ranch Spa and Resort was just what I needed. A deep cleansing of my mind, body, and soul to get rid of my most recent impurity called Ian Briggs.
Hiking cleansed my soul, and according to the concierge, the weather was cooperating perfectly for it. With my phone on silence to anything but an emergency call from Carson or Isabella, I set out to find the peace my heart craved without the distraction of anything else.
As I climbed to the first summit, I thought about the previous visits with my mom. They were great memories for me. I sat on a bench, closed my eyes, and caught my breath. It was her favorite place to travel to, even though she’d been all over the world. We’d tried to come at least twice a year, but after I had Ty, it became more difficult. Carson hadn’t liked keeping Ty at home for a weekend when he was little. I should’ve recognized the signs an infant was cramping his style, but even then, I was blind to what men told me.
With my elbows on my knees supporting my quivering chin, I listened quietly as the birds sang their songs to each other and fought my tears. It reminded me of how my dad would sing to my mom. They’d had a beautiful love affair and often sang songs to each other.
The last few years were tough for them as he traveled back and forth from Dallas to Washington, D.C. I’d just started high school, and he’d been moved to Army Intelligence, positioned at the Pentagon. He was gone more than he was home, but when he was home, my parents had acted like teenagers. So loving, even in public.
Back then, I teased them with being gross, but as an adult woman, I knew it was the romantic love I craved—for a man to have eyes only for me, no matter who was looking.
Mom had said the song of the birds were Dad’s song to her when they were apart. It became their melody to me.
I wondered what she would think of the life I’d created. Would she be pleased with how I was raising Ty? Would she be embarrassed by my public rendezvous with Blake, caught on camera, and now my mistake with Ian?
When I listened to the birds, I imagined her words to me. Let your heart be your guide and follow it.
After my hike and a relaxing massage, I ordered room service and surfed through the in-room movie offerings. I settled on the Wolf of Wall Street, rather than have some sappy romantic movie cause a major meltdown. But, I didn’t make it through to the end of the movie before fading out, and I was happy I had twenty-four hours in which to finish it because it was a really good film.
The next day, I took a drive and shopped boutiques in the area. Studying other stores always gave me ideas for fresh displays or new lines I hadn’t run across during a trip to market.
Visiting Belle-Blue, one of Mother’s favorite shops, brought back memories. The café in the back had caught her eye the very first time we visited the shop. She drove everyone nuts that day taking photos and asking questions.
My mother did not cook. She knew nothing about food, but she loved her lattes, pastries, and especially cookies. When we returned home from that trip, she had the arc
hitect draw out plans to add a café to our store, but she never pulled the trigger on the idea. By the time I took over the store and learned the ropes, the economy had busted, and it had taken several years to rebound. The last few years had been a financial blessing. An expansion was possible and perhaps just the thing I needed to take my mind off my own life for a while.
Hmmm. As I sat sipping, the hot tea soothed everything which ailed me.
Then I felt the presence of someone close to me. I opened my eyes to see a very pretty older lady standing by my small table in the back corner. I recognized her as the shop owner.
“You’re Mary Alice Flanagan’s daughter, aren’t you?”
Stunned was an understatement. It had been several years. How did she remember me? “Yes, but how—”
She pointed to the seat across from me. “May I?”
“Absolutely.”
“I remember your visits, but your mother also sent me a holiday card every year with your family photograph. I have them in my office. I saw you earlier and couldn’t place your face with a name, and it was driving me nuts. I went to my office to get something, and there were your pictures on my bulletin board. Of course, it’s been many years, but you haven’t aged much.”
“I tried to continue to send out cards after she passed, but it was painful to revisit her habit, so I stopped.”
“I remember your note about her passing, and I donated to her children’s charity. She always chose to sit at this same table.”
My eyes moved about the area slowly. “She loved to come here.” I felt her presence with me. I could hear her laughter in my ears.
“That, she did. Did she ever put in a bistro?”
I shook my head. “But coming here today reminded me I should do it as a way to honor her legacy. Perhaps after New Year’s might be a great time.”
“Well, be sure to send me an invite to the grand opening.” She patted my hand resting on the table and excused herself to assist other customers.
Quickly, I took out a notepad from my purse and jotted down some goals, along with my design notes.
Conflicted on 5th: A 5th Avenue Romance Novel, Book One (5th Avenue Romance Series 1) Page 7
