by Jo Leigh
* * *
LUNCH HADN’T PANNED OUT. Max couldn’t say he was surprised. Disappointed, yes, but Natalie had sounded harried and there’d been a lot of background noise so he didn’t think she’d blown him off. They were still tentatively on for tonight after he got back from his parents’ house, so he was relieved that a plan was still in play. And frankly, while lunch with her would’ve shot to the top of his priority list, it would’ve required a lot of juggling.
Next week he had to go back to work, so he’d scheduled his last meeting for midmorning. It hadn’t mattered that it was Saturday. The partners of Goldstone and Bridges were happy to speak with him, and he’d thought squeezing in a meeting with the small law firm would help make his decision clearer. The partners had been great. He liked Sarah and Marissa. Their reputation was stellar. They were on solid financial footing, had an excellent support staff and he’d been very impressed with their values, right down to how they chose their clients.
But they couldn’t come close to matching the kind of offer he’d need to meet his most fundamental goals. He’d kind of figured that, but he was glad he’d explored the possibility.
Unfortunately, he’d left more confused than ever. On the one hand, he would love to spend his days with people who weren’t driven by the bottom line. Not only were they not sharks, they weren’t even trying to be. Goldstone and Bridges was a concierge firm. They only represented people and companies they respected. What they needed at the moment was precisely a person with his skills and talents. He’d end up putting in the same hours and commitment, but for less than half the money, and the only promise was a yearly bonus of indeterminate size.
The issues Max had to consider had changed a great deal since...well, since Natalie. That first week off, he’d been barely conscious and hadn’t been able to put two thoughts together. The second week had been squarely about maximizing his opportunity for a long-range win, knowing he’d face years of slavish work and that his sacrifice would be significant. But that was to be expected.
He was in this business for the long haul. Even if it meant putting some things on the back burner for now. That was the trick, wasn’t it? Everyone he knew was putting off having a family and buying a house in the suburbs. Who could do all that and still hope to make partner by fifty?
So he’d do his best. Work hard now and reach his goals. Then he would find someone like Natalie and go the distance, wherever that led.
No, not someone like Natalie. It was crazy to think he’d be lucky enough to find anyone close.
He felt as if he were living in an O. Henry story. He’d found the woman he wanted to build a future with, but in order to have that future, he had to give her up.
He sighed as he realized he’d been walking blindly since he left the interview. It was already twelve-thirty, and he was supposed to meet Joey in half an hour. He’d meant to walk to the coffee shop near the Legal Aid office, but now there wasn’t time.
Instead of a cab, he took the subway. As tempting as it was to keep rehashing his dilemma, he used the ride to read his email and check up on the news.
Joey had gotten them a small indoor table. With his venti americano, Max joined his friend. Well, not quite friend. What might have turned into a good friendship wouldn’t ever get a chance to grow. “Having problems getting the family to cooperate with your plans?”
Joey shook his head. “Not really. Trying to decide on a date is the biggest issue. Lviv is closed on Mondays, so that’s looking like the best day for everyone to come. Around two or three in the afternoon. Is there any chance that could work for you?”
“Actually, that sounds doable as long as it’s in the late afternoon. I have an important meeting at ten-thirty.”
“Terrific. Natalie will be there, which will help. Everyone looks up to her.”
Max nodded, wondering why she hadn’t mentioned it to him. It was ridiculous to feel as if he were the one being edged out of her life. Especially given what had happened last night. But this sit-down that Joey was arranging was the type of thing she would’ve talked to him about.
“That’s not the only reason I wanted to meet.” Joey studied his coffee for a minute before meeting Max’s eyes. “I think I’ve decided what I’m going to do after I’m finished with Legal Aid.”
“Oh?”
“It’s radical. But the more I think about it, the more I like it.”
“You’ve got my attention.” Max drank some coffee, barely noticing he’d forgot to put in his sugar. Thankfully, there were a few packets on the table, so he grabbed one.
“I’m going to start my own firm.”
Max stopped tearing the packet open. “Really? Your own firm?”
“Yep. I know I need experience, and that’s why I’m going to need a partner. Someone who has a track record, and could give the firm the kind of credentials we’ll need to make a real go of it.”
“And, I’m assuming, a hell of a bankroll?”
Joey looked down at his hands. “Actually, money isn’t the problem.”
“Oh.” Max wasn’t sure what to say. He hoped Joey had done his homework and given this decision serious thought. Understanding that he needed a partner with experience since he had so little wasn’t enough. It made more sense for him to use his Harvard degree to put a high-profile firm on his résumé than have to ride a partner’s coattails. “Where are you thinking? Manhattan?”
“Yeah. Maybe Brooklyn. Probably Brooklyn. I’ve got money. I’ve invested well. I could work for someone else, learn the ropes in a more traditional way, but honestly, that’s not my thing. Working at Legal Aid has been enlightening. Combined with my two years being an intern at Goulston & Storrs, I know that I’ll do better with my own team, without having to worry about fitting in at an established practice.”
“That’s a huge undertaking,” Max said.
Joey grinned. “I know. That’s what’s got me excited. I like a challenge. I mean, I thrive on that kind of thing. To start with, though, I need to be damn sure about who I want to partner with. Or to be more accurate, who’d want to partner with me. You wouldn’t be interested, would you?”
Max made a point not to laugh. “It sounds exciting,” he said, and it was the honest truth. “But I can’t see that happening. Sorry. I’ve just reached the sweet spot, you know? Where I’m being sought after. I think I’d enjoy working with you, but man, you’re talking about a hell of a risk.”
“Not with the right people. I’m not going to jump into something until all the pieces are together. Fortunately, I’ve got the means to do that. There are a few other people on my short list. I’m not just looking for one super attorney, but to create a team. I’ve already put a lot of effort into the business plan with the help of my financial advisor. Anyway...” He finished off his coffee in two gulps and checked his watch. “I’ve got to head back to the office.”
“Go ahead. I think I’ll get something to eat while I’m here.”
Joey got to his feet. “I wish I had more time. I’ve been wanting to pick your brain about what you’ve gone through. Maybe I can buy you a meal or something, when I don’t have to run off so fast.”
“I’d like that,” Max said.
“Great. I’ll give you a call about the time for Monday’s meeting,” Joey said, backing away. “If something comes up and you can’t make it, let me know.”
“I’ll be there.” Part of Max wanted to tell him to forget about the whole business. No one did that, fresh out of school. It was crazy and reckless and he’d probably lose all his money, and those were only the first things that came to mind.
The other part of him was jealous as hell. The audaciousness of the plan alone had Max rubbing his hands together. To dare something so outrageous was damned impressive. He’d be in charge of clients. Of structuring the firm to suit the team’s talents. Knowing what he did about Joey, M
ax figured he’d be too busy to breathe for the next year or so. But in the end, Joey could do a lot of good for a lot of people. He was clearly smart as hell, and if he could build enough equity to put a plan like his together, imagine what he could do to build his firm? Damn. If Max were a betting man, he’d back the kid.
What a family Natalie had. Hell, half of them were bat-shit crazy, but they sure weren’t people you could ignore. Bigger than life. The kind of characters books were written about.
No wonder Natalie loved movies so much. Look who she’d grown up with. Look who she’d turned out to be.
He thought about their first night together. How brave she’d been. Scared to death, but willing to seize the moment. She’d been thrilling. He’d never thought of a woman in that way before, but it fit her. She was a whole different kind of courageous.
Whatever else happened, he was going to keep Natalie in his life. Someway, somehow. It didn’t matter what form it took as long as the thread between them didn’t break. That was doable, no matter what offer he accepted.
And tonight with any luck, he’d be with her.
Between now and six, when he had to be at the train station, he was going to make a list of all the things he wasn’t willing to negotiate. Then he’d start going down the list of firms. Carefully. Thoughtfully. Like he’d promised.
On Sunday, he’d still be at it. Giving himself the time to look at every angle. His meeting with the senior partners at Latham was scheduled for Monday at ten-thirty. They would make him an offer, and the ball would be in his court. There would be no room for a mistake.
18
LAST NIGHT HADN’T worked out.
Natalie had been equally sad and glad. No, that was a lie. She’d been sad and scared.
Max’s dinner with his family had gone late, and by the time he’d reached Penn Station, she’d been in bed, exhausted from having had too little sleep and being strung out emotionally. Who knew what she would have done if he’d showed up in person.
At least she’d gotten more sleep than expected. Probably because her body wanted nothing more to do with her thoughts. Work had been a blessing, because she’d had two great tour groups and had caught their enthusiasm while she’d been with them. The moments in between, when her defenses were down, the roller coaster was right there, midswoop.
They’d made plans for Max to come over, and now that his arrival was imminent, she questioned her sanity. Twice she’d almost called to cancel, but this was it for them. Their last night together.
She’d see him on Monday at Lviv, but that marked the official beginning of their friendship. Tonight was the end of their affair, their swan song, and like an addict, she had to have one more hit.
Her reflection in the mirror confirmed that her anguish was written all over her face. She’d try to pretend it was simply the result of insomnia and working too much, but Max was no dummy.
So she’d planned an evening that would take the most pressure off. The idea of talking about their situation tied her stomach in knots, so she had a Blu-ray disc in the player. Roman Holiday. Befitting and encouraging. Even Audrey Hepburn didn’t always get to keep the love of her life.
Oh, God. She couldn’t think of Max like that. She couldn’t be that masochistic.
He was due any minute. She’d ordered a pizza to be delivered soon, as well. Maybe at the same time. The bed trays were all set up, the remote was on her bedside table. The beer was still in the fridge. Everything was in place.
Including a full box of tissues within easy reach of her bed, because who was she kidding?
She paced around the house, stopping at the appropriate windows to look for him on the street, and paused in her bedroom. She’d thought about wearing only her kimono to greet him, but nixed that idea quickly. Now she was beginning to doubt what she had gone with.
It seemed utterly ridiculous to have put on her La Perla underwear underneath a simple shift. She peeked down the scoop neckline and decided her boobs looked as good as they ever had. No. This had been the right choice. Not to turn Max on, but to make her remember that she was brave, and that she could do this and even if she blubbered like a fool, she could still walk away proud.
The doorbell made her jump. Adrenaline screamed through her veins as she flew down the stairs. It was Max.
He pulled her straight into his arms, right there on the threshold, and kissed her as if he needed her more than air, more than anything.
She let herself sink into him. Her thoughts scattered into a million bits, but each one was about Max. His taste, the way he smelled, the fact that she would know him from the touch of his hand on her back, or the shape of his ear.
A circumspect cough behind him pulled them apart, and Max paid the red-faced delivery kid before they went upstairs.
There was no undressing as they got on the bed, no more breathtaking kisses. But his fingers brushed hers when he took his plate. A smile that was so bittersweet it made it hard to swallow.
“It’s not as if I’m going off to war or anything,” he said as they settled in place for their viewing party.
“Right,” she said, borrowing his light tone. “We’ll still be in walking distance.”
“I’ve figured out that we’re sort of equidistant from Katz’s. So, I see a lot of early-morning bagels in our future.”
“Exactly,” she said, putting on an easy smile that went south halfway through. She ate a whole veggie slice and missed almost everything that happened on the screen. Another piece was out of the question when he offered.
Their eyes remained locked, though, after she shook her head. A moment later, the pizza box landed on the floor, as did both the stupid trays, and she clung to him with her hands and her legs and her kisses.
Hours later, she quivered through a full-body orgasm as he thrust into her so deeply she felt marked, and together, they came apart.
No description could have captured the moment more precisely.
* * *
HE WAS DRESSED and ready to go at six-thirty. She was still in the bathroom, still in her robe and putting on the finishing touches of her makeup. Thank God he didn’t have to be at Latham for a few hours, because shit.
When she walked into the kitchen, she had her favorite mug in hand and tried to hide the small tremor, but he caught it. As if she could fool him now.
He might not be shaking, but there was no doubt he was shaken up. Just last night they’d been in her bed, his body and hers connected, and not just through kisses and sex. It was hard to believe he had no idea when that would happen again. Or if it should.
He put his empty mug down. He wanted to kiss her properly, but that wasn’t a good idea. Instead, he pulled her close and rested his forehead against hers. They shared the same mint-and-coffee breath as they stood there. He wished he could exit on a witty line, something reassuring and hopeful. Instead, he said, “You’re amazing. I should have said that every day. And I’ll see you this afternoon.”
She sighed, her fingers clutching the bottom of his jacket. “You’re amazing, too. Go out there and grab your moment and the future you’ve always dreamed of.”
He pulled back. “I feel like we should make a date for next week or something.”
She just smiled that lovely smile. “Probably best if we wait and see how things roll out.”
Max nodded, knowing she was right even though he didn’t like it. Before he could do something stupid, he left.
The morning air was chilly, but he didn’t even consider catching a cab. He needed the walk. There was so much to think about. It was tempting to linger on Natalie, on the astonishing two plus weeks they’d been together. If felt as if it had been months instead of weeks until this moment. Now he resented every second he’d missed being with her.
Although seeing his folks and Mike had been a good thing, h
e couldn’t deny that he’d missed her. It would have been great if Natalie had come with him, but then again, maybe not. He’d needed the time with his family. Especially watching his parents, married for thirty-two years and still enjoying each other’s company more than anyone else’s.
He might never wake up to her again. That thought had bugged him on the train, had risen several times last night, and each time it had come out of nowhere and bothered him terribly. They hadn’t had enough time, that’s all. Two weeks was nothing. There were too many things he needed to learn about her. Everything from her favorite ice-cream flavor to what she thought of the designated hitter.
But he did know that she made him think. In the immediate aftermath of the tort ruling he’d just wallowed in the victory, along with all the other people in his world. It was a cause for celebration. But after he’d met Natalie, he realized that while he was proud of the victory, he wasn’t so proud of the outcome.
It honestly made him wonder what had happened on his way to becoming a hero. He knew that answer. He’d become driven and egotistical. He’d lost friends, deservedly. And he’d forgotten some important lessons.
All the while, he’d been with the bravest, strongest woman he’d ever known. Even though she’d wanted to get married, she’d refused to settle. She’d gone after what was important, not what was easy. Hell, why on earth would she settle for him, after how he’d behaved?
To think he hadn’t immediately called his family when he’d finished with the case was mind-boggling. That he’d avoided Natalie’s questions was more than telling. Not that she’d let him get away with his obfuscation. She’d asked him all the right questions.
But was he asking them of himself? His father had told him to look at all the options. He hadn’t, though. He’d gone through his offers, the firms, the choices that would lead to his dream future. But that picture was pretty damn narrow. Where did his folks fit in? His friends? Natalie?
He’d been so busy thinking about where he’d want to end up when it was all said and done that he’d forgotten to consider who he wanted to be when he got there.
