Lizzie was so proud to call those three hers.
“Mama!” bellowed her oldest.
Lizzie dropped the spoon into the oatmeal and it bounced back at her. Damn spoon didn’t even want to touch the grossest oatmeal ever to exist. “In the kitchen,” she called out.
Maddox entered the room and she smiled. He was taller than his father but not by much, and when he entered a room, you could feel his strong and charming presence. But today it was different. He looked like hell. Hair all over the place, like he hadn’t slept.
“What’s wrong, Mad?”
Her son ran his hand through his blond hair the same shade of blond as his father. “Mom . . . I love her.”
She stayed silent and listened but her eyebrows definitely rose at her son’s confession of his feelings. She wanted to ask so many questions. Lizzie knew of whom he spoke—that was a given, but what she wanted to know was why now . . . what happened that seemed to cause this panic within her steady son?
“I never thought it would happen to me. I mean, I saw you and Dad and wanted that for myself, some day, but finding it for myself, especially after being blind to it for so long . . . Mom, I’ve known her forever. How could I have been so blind?”
Lizzie looked upon her grown son, just a couple years younger than his father had been when he’d died. Maddox was the spitting image of Tom. Everything . . . including his voice. And for one short moment, Lizzie heard Tom, not her son. It was a weird feeling.
Lizzie toyed with the ring on her right hand, the engagement ring that Tom had bought for her all those years ago, as her son continued to speak. When he paused, she slipped off the ring. “Here,” she said, holding it up to him. “This ring . . . Tom, I mean, your father, bought this for me. He never had the chance to give it to me. He died with it in his pocket. It has stayed on my finger all these years, but it’s time for it to go to you—to his son . . . for you to give to the woman of your heart. Don’t waste time with your questions of how or why. Make this choice . . . take this step towards your future and don’t look back. Make Stella your wife.”
That big, wide smile full of the whitest teeth popped up over her son’s face. “Stella. My wife. I like the sound of that,” he said, taking the ring from her hand. Then he exhaled loudly. “Mama, I’ve got to go! She’s in Indy this weekend for her mother’s birthday. I need to do this.”
“Be careful. Please.”
“Don’t you know it, mama.”
“Call me later.”
“I will,” he said, kissing her cheek then turning to run out the door. “Hi, Dad. Bye, Dad.”
“Uh . . . bye, Mad,” Marc said, spinning around at his son’s quick departure. “What was that about?” Marc asked when he reached her.
“Maddox is head-over-heels in love with Stella.”
“Knew that,” Marc said, continuing on and sitting down on the couch. Then he patted the space next to him. “Come here, beautiful.”
Once beside him, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. “So, tell me why he raced outta here like the place was on fire.”
“He’s going to ask her to marry him.”
His eyebrows raised at that. Ha! He hadn’t expected that one. “Oh yeah?”
“Yes. I may have given him the ring,” she said, showing him her empty right hand.
The wheels started to spin on that revelation. She smiled as he put it together. “Tom’s son and Mia’s daughter . . . married?”
“Yeah.”
“I have a feeling they’d really find that fitting. How do you feel about it?”
“I’m all for it. I want him happy. She’s been his friend since she could talk, hanging on his every word. And he has always looked out for her. I’m surprised it took as long as it did to sink in for him . . .”
“Timing’s everything, Elizabeth. He wasn’t ready. But he is now.”
“Kind of reminds me of you,” she said, leaning over and planting a kiss on his cheek.
“I’m glad you were ready at the same time because being ready for you . . . then losing you, that would have destroyed me. I was meant to be yours, Elizabeth.”
“All mine,” she said, kissing him again. “And I’m yours.”
“Yeah, you are,” he said, pinching her ass.
“Dirty bird,” she said with a laugh.
“Oh yeah,” he said, pulling her fully onto his lap. “It’s been a good thirty years, don’t you think?”
“It’s been the world to me. I’m glad that I spent my life living out my fantasies with you.”
“We may be old, but you got any fantasies left?” he asked with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“Maybe . . .” she said with a wink. Then she stood up and looked down at him for a moment and turned towards the stairs.
“Don’t hold out on me, woman!” he exclaimed, a smile on his face.
“Meet me upstairs and I’ll show you.”
Losing You was the first book I started in the Stars On Fire series. It spawned a lot of stories in the process. I’ve mentioned that while working on this book that I fell in love with Mia and her story took over the reins.
Now that you’ve read this, you’ll probably understand that there was another reason why I stopped with this book—Tom. I absolutely love him, yet when the stupid idea occurred to me, I couldn’t shake it. He was so loved by everyone in his life . . . the effects of his death would be far-reaching. I had to do it for three storylines:
Lizzie
Marc
Mia
These three people would most feel his death. If you’ve read the Never Over You Series, you’ve seen how Mia handled Tom’s death. Whereas that was absolutely brutal for me to write, writing about it in this book was so much harder.
That’s the reason I stalled FOR YEARS to complete this. I’m not kidding—YEARS. Staying over in Mia’s world was easier. I could sort of be detached from Tom.
But the time came to finish Losing You—to complete Lizzie, Marc, and Tom’s stories. I needed to get full circle.
I was really flying along with my rewrites but as I approached the time for Tom’s death, I’d find myself standing back and just staring at my manuscript, trying to, one, get in the place I needed to be, and two, trying to also find the strength to write it. I knew I was going to shed some major tears. I knew it was going to hurt like a motherfucker.
It was worse.
So much worse.
I wanted to go and rip out those pages from Still Into You about Tom’s death and pretend I never wrote it.
I wanted Tom.
I almost said, “fuck this,” and moved on to an entirely different story and it’s because of a whole lot of people in my corner telling me I could do it that this got finished.
And that leads me into the acknowledgements.
There were quite a few people that kept me sane (or at least tried) during the writing of Losing You.
Ashley, whore <3: Thank you for every single thing you did . . . from yelling at me to stop doing something that you knew would take me to a bad place to making me laugh and to telling me when Thor was on TV. I don’t think you know the number of times you’d message me and I’d be crying and you’d say something to make me laugh. It’s like you knew. Your support and friendship meant everything to me.
Isabelle: Your encouragement and support pushed me to do this when I wanted to just stop. Your “carrot” was the perfect catalyst to get me to the finish line. Thank you for your daily check-ins. You didn’t have to do any of that but I appreciated every single message.
Jillian, #mysuga, #mygoldengirl: Thank you for sticking with me, for being a part of this amazing ride, for always encouraging me when I’m doubting myself, but most importantly, thank you for being my friend. You get me. #iwillalwaysloveyou
Melissa, #mom: Thank you for taking me on; for teaching me so freaking much . . . for all your advice, support, and plans; for those calls where I ended up taking more notes than I took while I was in school. ;-) Thank you from
calming me down when life threw too much at me and making me breathe. I’ll never forget that. I don’t know what I’d do without you! <3
My Indie Chicks Rock girls: We’ve done a LOT since I last had to write acknowledgements. I’m so proud to be a part of this group. Thank you for including me and for having my back, for being a place that empowers and supports and for being a place that I can always turn to. ILY ALL!
My betas (Jillian, Ashley, Lisa, and Jenn): You four allowed me to take you on this emotional journey as I wrote this book. Thank you for staying the course as I introduced you to the #mightyhammer and the #kickstand, or when I made you hurt or when I made you cry. Thank you for all your feedback—it all helped to make Losing You better. Pooh bears . . . I love you all! <3
My editor, Lisa: Thank you for being the voice of reason to my crazy. In the same breath . . . thank you for allowing me to be evil. This was a very difficult book for me to write. I just want to say how much I appreciate your help with the emotional aspects of writing this book. Thank you for pushing me yet being so supportive. It was exactly what I needed. I’m so damn proud of what we did. Thank you!!!! And yeah, I probably said “thank you” too many times and my word choice could be better . . . LOL! <3 you!!!
Najla: I absolutely adore working with you. These covers you create for me . . . they are AMAZING and I’m so proud to show them off. I’m still amazed of what you created from my drawing on a post-it! Can’t wait to start the next cover!
Kristi: I freaking love working with you. You rock it, girl! Thank you so much for your help with this release as well as for everything you did with the release of the Never Over You Series Boxed Set. <3
Thank you to all the bloggers for taking a chance on me and for your continued support.
And to all my sugas out there . . . thank you! I’ve said it before, but it’s true—you make it worth it. <3
I cannot have an acknowledgements section without thanking my family.
My husband: My deadline plus the holidays and our work schedules made writing this book just a tad on the crazy side. Thank you for your support, your understanding, and your L.O.V.E. Thank you for each delicious meal you made. Thank you for going grocery shopping with me so I didn’t have to venture into Costco alone on a weekend. Thanks for listening to me when I talked your ear off about book world stuff and actually being interested. You are my rock star. I love you!
My son, Chase: You won’t be reading this for a LONG, LONG TIME (and if you’re reading this right now, PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND GET OUT OF MOMMY’S OFFICE). You are my sunshine. You brighten my day. You make it all worth it with your smiles and your infectious giggles. Man . . . when you and Daddy get going with your laughter, I may not know what you’re laughing about, but I can’t help but join in. Thank you for sitting with me while I plotted and planned. Thank you for all the snuggles and for all our talks as well as all the questions. I love you, buggy boo! <3
Sincerely,
Ryleigh . . .
#ThePostItQueen
#Sugamomma
#MightyhammerOwner
#poohbear
#stamina
#bringthethunder
#nerdpornlover
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Ryleigh Andrews Books
Information about my other titles can be found on my website
During the day, Ryleigh Andrews is an analyst, but even then, she’s writing, sneakily crafting scenes on post-it notes. She's been told she's a bit of a geek . . . some say nerd. She'll agree to it all. She loves music. It's been a force in her life for as long as she can remember. Her love of Star Wars and superheroes has probably been going on just as long . . . see, this is where the geek/nerd thing comes into play. But, most of all, Ryleigh loves the written word. She's been writing for a long time. Her first story came to her during one of her history classes. She wrote it in the margins of her notebook in teeny tiny letters so no one knew that she was writing a book instead of taking notes on 16th Century Europe. She currently lives in Chicago, Illinois, with her husband and son, along with her Siberian Husky, Mick Jagger, and her cat, Winston Churchill.
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Losing You (Stars On Fire #4) Page 30
