by Liz Schulte
“Even though the girl squalled at all hours of the day and night, often emitted noxious odors, and was far homelier than the boy, Lorelei kept her and raised the two children as siblings. The girl was irritating, often following Sy around and tattling on him at every turn, but despite his best efforts he grew particularly fond of the little ruffian.
“Then one day, after the girl had grown into her rather large head and was considered a beauty—though Sy could never see it—the girl met a man who led her to believe things about herself and those around her that were never true. He convinced her she was unwanted by anyone but him all because of the circumstances of her birth.”
“It wasn’t Jaron’s fault. Aunt Lorelei never hid from me that my father didn’t want me. I always knew that.”
Sy turned his pewter eyes to me. “You were never unwanted, Selene. Haven’t you figured that out by now? You’ve always had a place and before Jaron you knew that. Your place was with us. We never needed the rest of them because we had each other. Now stop interrupting.”
He cleared his throat. “With this man, the girl could settle for nothing less than changing the world and set out to do just that, but that was when the strangest thing of all happened. She stopped coming home and stopped seeing her family completely. Sy, as a strapping young man with a promising career ahead of him, absorbed the blow, knowing she needed to see what the world had to offer her before she could figure out what she wanted.”
As much as I wanted to argue it wasn’t like that, I bit my tongue. It was exactly like that. I allowed one incident from my past to define the rest of my life. I went looking for justice and found it in the form of Jaron. He was going to be the one who helped me get my revenge for not being wanted by the one person who it should have never been a question. But in the end I couldn’t go through with it. Without knowing it, I had fallen in love with the most privileged of the elite and it changed my life in ways I was still coming to terms with.
“But Lorelei could not escape the heartbreak of losing one of her children without so much as a word. Rumors quickly reached them that the girl was now with Prince of the Hunt and they appeared to be serious. No one who knew her could imagine what would have brought on such a change other than love. But if it was love, why hadn’t she brought him home? Was she ashamed of her family who had done nothing but offer her love?”
I closed my eyes, needing a barrier between me and his words. Emotion tightened my throat. I hadn’t thought of them at all. Sy and Lorelei at that point seemed like part of a different life. A dream, but never quite real.
“Then the horrible day came when word was sent that the girl had died. They both mourned for her. Their hearts broke daily with memories and the knowledge that one with such a bright future was extinguished far before her time. One day Sy, now even more handsome and independent from all races, received a call that the girl actually lived. His heart soared when he saw her. He didn’t care about the pain or heartbreak she put him through. The fact that his cousin, who was far more a sister than a cousin, lived was enough. This time he met the prince, who actually turned out to be a far more decent sort of fellow than he ever would have given him credit for, and Sy took pains to make sure this time he was a part of the girl’s life so she could never again disappear without a word.”
I took his hand. I had been such an idiot. He squeezed my hand back.
“However, the girl’s father also noticed how remarkable she had become over the years. He too sought out her company, but his reasons had far less to do with the girl and much more to do with strengthening his own position in the world. When he realized she wasn’t prepared to forgive him for abandoning and ignoring her, he set out to destroy the girl and everything she had sacrificed to achieve. Even the Erlking couldn’t save the girl from her own father once again treating her like disposable object.
My heart beat faster. Part of me wanted to stop him from saying whatever was going to come next. I didn’t want to know.
“Sy came up with a plan that would protect his adoptive sister once and for all from the one man who would never stop hurting her, thereby clearing away the only obstacle that could keep her from having the life she very much deserved.”
I let go of his hand. He had done it. He killed Tahlik…to save me. It was both terrible and wonderful, but neither feeling felt wholly appropriate. I struggled for something to say, anything to fill the screaming silence. There was no love lost between me and my father, but I hated the fact Sy felt he had to do something so horrible because of me. I still had nightmares about killing Jaron, but I had Cheney to talk to. Who did Sy have?
“Did the girl get her happily ever after?” I asked.
He smiled a little. “Not yet. She still hasn’t figured out what happily ever after really means and keeps allowing herself to be blinded by unimportant distractions. You see the girl is ambitious to a fault. She still thinks if she can change the world it will make her happy.”
“It won’t.”
He shook his head. “Happiness doesn’t come from the outside. It’s forged within. Look at your life. When were you the happiest? Was it when you were plotting or scheming or running away from everyone who might care about you? Or was it when you lived in the moment surrounded by people who love you just as you are?”
I traced patterns onto the soft white sheet as I listened to what he was saying. “You killed someone for me.”
“I would do far more than that for my family, Selene, just as you would do for me. Only you forgot it somehow. We’re family. I know you have negative associations with the term, but family, true family, doesn’t leave someone behind. They don’t let the others fend for themselves, and they certainly don’t use the other for their gain. You used to believe that too. I’ve been waiting for you to remember it again.”
“Remember what?”
“That it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or says so long as you know where you belong. And that is with Mom, your coven, with Cheney and Sebastian, and with me. Between all of us that baby is going to grow up safe and happy and maybe she’ll change the world or maybe she won’t. And does it really matter so long as she enjoys her life? You don’t have to fix the world to be happy. You just have to allow your own wounds to heal.”
“You think we should walk away from the election?”
“I have said it repeatedly.”
“But this is part of who Cheney is.”
“Is it? He didn’t want to run, if I remember correctly. He’s doing this for you, to make you happy. You are an excellent salesman and you’ve sold him and Sebastian on the idea that change can only come from the three of you.”
“He’s doing this for a better future for everyone,” I said.
Sy shrugged. “Well, if that’s the case, turn me in. Expose me for what I did to Tahlik and win your election. I will accept it.”
There was a knock on the bedroom door. I broke eye contact with Sy. I couldn’t turn him in and I never would. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about the future of all half-elves. I just cared about my family more. More than anything else, actually. With that realization, peace spread through me. Peace like I hadn’t known in years. I sat back up with Sy’s help. “Come in.”
A guard stepped into the room, arms folded behind his back. “You have a visitor, my lady.”
“Send him or her up.”
He frowned. “The vampire insists you come to the garden.”
“About damn time,” Sy said. “You want me to go get him?”
I bit the inside of my lip hard enough I could taste blood. Corbin was a means to survival, but if Sebastian was right, he was also more than that. He would also be the means to ruin everything I had built. “No,” I finally said. “I don’t want to see him. Thank you.” I nodded to the guard who left without a word.
Sy leaned his head back against the wall, but didn’t comment.
“Cheney will be angry, but it has to stop. I couldn’t see him, not now.”
“Why
?” Sy asked.
“Sebastian’s right. There’s a price for taking energy from him. The more I take, the more connected we are. I choose Cheney. I’m happy with him, and this time I’m not going to ruin it. I won’t run away.”
Sy nodded. “Then we’ll find another way.”
I took his hand again. “I’m sorry.”
He gave me a truly puzzled look. “For what?”
I could hardly force the words out. Sy was sweet and happy and I somehow managed to ruin it. “That you killed someone because of me.” A hot tear rolled down my cheek.
He put his arm around my shoulder and hugged me. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. That was just a story.”
I nodded against him, throat burning. I’d never tell a soul. “You know if you ever wanted to tell me any more stories, I’m always here. I know I haven’t always been, but I am now. You aren’t alone either. I don’t say it very often, but I love you and Lorelei. We are family.”
The vial with pink liquid rolled in my fingers. So much temptation for one little package.
“For fuck’s sake. What do you want now?” I didn’t have to look. I could feel Paolo standing behind me. Did he have a damned tracker on me?
“The elves require your assistance.”
Like I didn’t know that. I had been ignoring the nagging ache for hours. I’d go to Selene, but I wasn’t going to come running every time she called. I wasn’t her lover and I sure as hell wasn’t her servant. She’d wait. “And since when do you work for elves?”
He sat on the barstool next to me. “Go to them or not, that’s up to you. That isn’t why I came.”
I finished the rest of my drink in a single gulp. The alcohol was ineffective on me, but the taste remained comforting and warm even after all these years.
“I thought perhaps you could use a distraction.”
The only response I could manage was to raise an eyebrow.
Paolo’s dark eyes drilled into the side of my head. “I have a reliable lead on Thomas. Bring him to me. Redeem yourself and resume your position where you belong. Let the elves sort out their own problems. Or go to the elves and…”
I watched the bartender pour me another and tucked the vial back into my pocket. Paolo’s threat was clear enough. There was a choice before me: us or them. Just the thought of Thomas lit a fire within me. I had eliminated all those he sired—except for the half-vampire who luckily appeared to no longer have a connection to him. Had Maggie’s life remained tied to him the quest for revenge would have ended. Not because I cared for the unique creature that she was, but because she had friends I was not stupid enough to go against. I had seen them unflinchingly go after a prince of hell and win. And they were infinitely more powerful now than they were before.
“We’ve had leads before,” I said. “None of them panned out.”
“This one will,” Paolo said. “If you go now. After everything he did to you, will you allow him to escape again? He betrayed you. He betrayed Camila. And he sold the life of your last living relation to the highest bidder. Whatever the witch has offered you, is it worth letting him live another day?”
The glass shattered in my hand with a pop, making the only other person at the bar jump. We didn’t speak her name. “Where is he?” I growled.
“South America, hiding deep in the rainforest among a group of rogues.”
“And how did you come by this?”
“It’s reliable,” was his only response.
The journey would take at least a week. Selene wouldn’t survive a week without me here, but the distance away from her might make the pain of her death or the birth easier to bear.
He slid a plane ticket over to me. “You have just enough time to make it to the airport.”
I glanced at the time on the ticket, then at the clock over the bar. “There isn’t enough time. I’ll get the next flight.”
“The next flight isn’t until morning. If you don’t go now, you won’t be able to leave until tomorrow night.”
“Fine.”
Paolo’s eyes narrowed. “He could be gone by then.”
I didn’t respond.
“Be on that flight, Corbin.”
“Is that an order?” I leveled a look at him that he didn’t flinch away from.
“If need be.” With that he left the bar.
I picked up the ticket and tucked it into my pocket and headed for the castle. As I was about to slip through the gates, the witch’s voice came from behind me.
“I have a job for you.”
I turned to her. “I told you once before, I have no interest in backing a losing horse. If you can’t win on your own, you aren’t going to win.”
She glared at me. “Everything is going perfectly. Selene’s defenses are depleted to almost nothing.”
“Then you don’t need me,” I said.
She grabbed my arm. “Every time you heal her, you work against me.”
I yanked away from her. “Touch me again, witch, and you’ll lose both of your arms.”
“Bring me Monique, and I will forgive your stupidity.”
****
“The Queen declines to see you,” the pompous elf guard said with a superior look.
“Try again.” My voice rumbled from my chest. She was fading and it ached in my marrow. Selene wouldn’t “decline” to see me. She wanted to survive. We had that in common.
The guard crossed his arms and was joined by three more. “The Queen declines to see you,” he repeated as if I was slow.
I moved fast, knocking one out of the way before taking the middle one by the throat. “I don’t have time for this. Get the Erlking.”
“And what would you say to him if he were here?” Cheney’s voice, low and quiet, came from behind me as something sharp pressed above my kidney. “It’s best if you leave, Corbin. Release the guard.”
I dropped the guard back on his feet, unharmed. “We both know she needs me. You were looking for me.” He didn’t respond, but backed away a step so I could face him. “If you’re willing to let her die, you don’t deserve her.”
He gave me a wry expression. “I have thought that on more than one occasion, but for entirely different reasons. Thankfully, however, the world rarely gives any of us what we deserve.”
“Says the man who has gotten everything he has ever wanted. Who has never had to know pain.”
A slow and dangerous smile spread over his face. “When she wanted you here, I was willing to overlook your presence—for her. Selene will not see you. The matter is resolved. You’re no longer welcome on the grounds.” He had the relaxed easy stance of a hunter. Someone who could as easily cut you down as shake your hand.
Despite my very best efforts I had a grudging respect for the elf. “And what about the bond between us? It can’t be broken. It’ll always be there and part of her will always want to be with me, be it ten years or a hundred years from now. Perhaps that’s why you are willing to let her die. You know that one day she will choose me.”
Cheney gave me a sympathetic glance. “Bonds with Selene never go as you would expect them to. Too often the other person ends up as a means to an end. I am not threatened by you, Corbin.”
“And that’s what you think I am? A means to an end.”
“I know that’s what you are. While I loathe that any part of my wife is connected to someone like you, I know her better than she sometimes knows herself. Let me assure you that every part of her has and will continue to choose me, her wild, untamed elven side as well as the controlled human. Both want me. You were a means of survival and you still are. She will find a way to break the bond when it suits her.” His posture was deceptively easy and his gaze confident. “I never truly knew myself before I met her and she is no different; she just has a harder time accepting what she’s discovered.”
I scoffed. “What’s that?”
“That what she really wants, despite everything else, is a place to belong. She wants to settle down, she wants a fami
ly, she wants the life I can give her.”
I couldn’t goad him into action and there simply wasn’t time to talk him into it. I had no choice but to tell him the truth. His confidence was so unwavering that Selene loved him and used me that it began to take root in me, but as it turned out I didn’t care if I would ever get to have her so long as she lived. “I can save her. I’m willing to save her. And I ask for nothing in return. Let me help her.” I took a deep breath. “…and you.”
My words bounced off of him, not even penetrating the surface. “It appears she doesn’t wish to be saved by you. I’m sure she has her reasons and I won’t force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
Spineless fucking fae. “Because you cannot control your woman.”
He laughed. “Even if I could, I wouldn’t dream of trying. There’s one thing my wife is very good at—surviving. I trust her judgment.”
At least fifteen more guards moved in as we spoke, surrounding me.
“None of my men will injure you,” Cheney said, as I took in the situation. “So long as you leave peacefully. Or if you prefer, you’ll be escorted to the dungeon.”
I looked up at the castle. “When she goes into labor and begins to fade, I won’t come back. This will be the last offer I make.”
He gave me a single nod. “So be it.”
I walked through the elves and into the darkness. I wouldn’t look back. If I did, I’d let the elves put me in their cage just so I could be near her—and I hated the feeling with every fiber of my being. Continuing one foot after another until I was off of the castle grounds, numb to everything around me, I tried to imagine going back to my old life. Could I pretend she didn’t exist? Could I be happy for her? Or would it be for the best if she did die? If I couldn’t have her, why should anyone else?
“Where is Monique?” Jessica’s voice said from the darkness.
“Get her yourself,” I said, dropping the vial of pink liquid she had given me to the ground and crushing it. The young witch possessed by an ancient spirit glared, I suddenly felt a sympathetic kinship to her. Not one that at all swayed me, but one that made me see myself for what I was: alone, bitter and playing in a game I didn’t belong. “The conflict between you and Selene is your own. I don’t want any part of it. Find a new helper.”
