Yay, I thought, Becky won’t be able to confront me while her dad is in the front seat.
“I have to go anyway,” he continued as he got his car keys. “I’m a dance chaperone.”
My yay turned into nooooooooo!!!!! I had no idea her dad was going to be lurking in the gym all night. It sucked because that meant Becky really couldn’t spend any time with Chuck … meaning she’d be with me the whole time … meaning I’d have to endure nonstop barbed comments or, worse, another smooching session.
Becky and I drove there in silence while her father chattered about medicine and, for some reason, the pituitary gland. He knew we were studying the endocrine system in biology and kept talking about how “the pituitary gland is overlooked by the majority of the medical establishment.” It’s also overlooked by anybody wanting to have an interesting conversation!
When we walked into the school, Quincy was sitting at the door of the gym. I hadn’t seen him since our awkward non-conversation at the salad bar. He had a camera and I realized that he was in charge of taking photos of all the couples entering.
“Hi, Quincy!” I said as Becky and I walked up.
He went pale immediately and dropped his camera.
Becky and I stood there while he picked it up and put the batteries back in.
“Uh …,” he said, not making eye contact, “you can stand there.” He pointed to a backdrop that was supposed to look like a garden. Since it was the Spring Fling, everything was spring-related. Quincy nervously positioned Becky so she faced away from me. Huh? Was she supposed to look like she was ignoring me? I stood awkwardly until she angrily grabbed my arms and put them around her waist. Oh! It was that kind of pose. I had never come to the Spring Fling with a date, so it was all new to me.
“Becky, why don’t you smile?” asked her dad, who unfortunately hadn’t started his chaperoning duties yet.
Quincy started counting, “One, two …” as her dad traced upward lines next to his lips to indicate to Becky that she should smile. I think she ignored him because as soon as the picture was taken, her father muttered to Quincy, “Hopefully the camera broke when you dropped it.”
Becky and I walked in with her father, and I chose to believe she wanted to keep up the same pose we had in the picture and that’s why she was still completely turned away from me.
The inside of the gym was a spring paradise. Savannah was on the design committee and the place looked gorgeous. She had commandeered the art class into making fake flowers out of some material that looked real and they were everywhere. Covering the floor and the stage, hanging from vines, and blanketing every tablecloth.
“Well, I have to go monitor the punch,” said Becky’s dad. “I don’t want any kids having hangovers tomorrow.” He laughed and was met with silence from us. “Uh … have fun,” he said, then added, “Or at least talk to each other.” As Becky’s dad walked away, she started walking in the opposite direction.
“Becky!” I called after her. When I got near, I whispered, “Are you going to look for Chuck?”
“Why should you care?” she said without looking at me.
“I just meant you should be careful because your dad’s here.”
“My dad?” she asked. “Don’t worry, Justin. I know how to handle jerks!” She made the first eye contact of the night when she said “jerks.”
As she walked away, I began to feel guilty for how I’d treated her since that kiss at the pond. Argh! How was I supposed to win over Cool U with my amazing performance and snag Chuck if a part of me was wracked with guilt?
I was feeling so stressed that I knew I needed some potato chips to deal with my anxiety. I turned to walk over to the food area and suddenly saw Spencer. He was holding hands with someone. I looked closer.
It was a girl!
What the—? I thought he was gay. Well, I was, too, and I was here with a girl, but that’s different. I looked closer but couldn’t tell who the girl was. She had long hair and a pretty face. But there were little marks on the sides of her nose from where glasses probably sat. And the dress looked like it was made of organic cotton. Wait a minute …
It was Mary Ann Cortale!
I knew she’d look good with no glasses and her hair down, but was she really here with Spencer as a date? I had decided they were just here as friends when I saw him give her a quick kiss on the lips before she walked toward the drinks. I stood frozen, which put me in line with Spencer’s eyes. He walked over to me.
“Hey, Justin.”
“Spencer,” I said slowly, “are you here with Mary Ann?”
“Yes,” he answered simply.
“On a date?” I asked, in total shock.
He sighed. “It’s complicated,” he said, which was an even more bizarre answer than I’d expected.
“Spencer,” I said, lowering my voice, “you told me you were gay. Are you now experimenting with—”
“Shhh!” he said, and looked around. “I don’t want to have this talk now, but there is something else we need to discuss.”
Phew, I thought. He finally wants to start being friends again. Being so close to him made me really feel how much I missed him. I wanted to tell him everything that’d been happening—Pamela’s crying jags, Becky’s unwanted kiss, Chuck and his possible coming out—but mostly I just wanted to hang out with him. I couldn’t wait to pick up where we left off.
“Yes?” I asked, waiting for his apology for ignoring me, which I would accept graciously.
Instead he asked, “Are you happy?”
I was confused. “At the dance?” I asked. “Not really. I wanted potato chips but when I saw you and Mary Ann—”
“No, Justin,” he said, cutting me off. “Are you happy in general?”
It was such an odd and non-specific question. Was he offering support? Advice? I thought about it. Happy? I was excited about the chance to perform tonight. And I was hopeful it could win me some real friends and my first kiss from Chuck. But I wouldn’t say I was happy. And, thinking about it, I realized that I hadn’t been for a while. More like stressed, guilty, lonely, and anxious.
“No,” I simply answered.
“Well,” he said with a little smile, “I’m glad you didn’t lie.”
“Why would I lie?” I asked.
Then I remembered.
NO!!!!
The public dare! I told Spencer months ago (to get him off my back) that my whole popularity plan would make me happy and if it didn’t, he could make me do a public dare at the Spring Fling! I had assumed that whole bet was nullified when we stopped talking, but apparently Spencer didn’t.
“Justin,” he said solemnly, “you made a promise and I know you’re going to keep it.”
He was right. The public dare was sacred. I knew if I didn’t follow through with it now, we could never have another one when we became friends again.
I took a deep breath. “What is it?” I asked.
He spoke slowly and clearly, like he had practiced it. “You need to start being yourself in front of people.”
THAT was the public dare? Act like myself? I do that already. Pretty much. Except for the things I keep a total secret.
Uh-oh.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You’ve been telling me forever that you’re in love with Chuck.”
“Yeah …?” I asked nervously.
I did say that, didn’t I. Hmm. I don’t know now if love is exactly the word anymore. More like lust. But I can’t admit that to Spencer because he’d been saying that all along. Suddenly, he revealed what I had to do.
“Your dare is to admit it tonight.”
Hmm … that sounded pleasingly vague. “What do you mean by ‘admit it,’ Spencer?” I wanted to hear what Spencer had to say so I could spin the dare to my advantage.
Spencer could tell what I was doing and got annoyed. “Justin, you need to admit—”
At that moment, we both noticed creepy Doug Gool slowly walking by, obviously looking for someon
e to harass. Spencer clammed up because he knew that if Doug overheard, it would ruin the public dare of me admitting anything since Doug would tell everyone first. Spencer started talking in code. “Justin, you need to admit to the person you’re in love with that you’re in love with them.”
Hmm. I guess I could tell Chuck I was in love with him and then later tell him I was joking.
Of course, Spencer was on to me, so he made it a dare I couldn’t manipulate. “You’re not allowed to say something and then take it back.”
Hmm … well, maybe I could—
“And you can’t say it like you’d say it to a friend.”
Argh! Why can he still read my mind?
Doug Gool was still lurking, so Spencer kept up the code.
“Justin, you need to give ‘them’ a kiss.”
Thankfully, Doug Gool slowly started walking away. He was probably looking for his favorite target: Mary Ann. Maybe Spencer was there as her protector. If he was, he wasn’t doing a very good job. Regardless, I had to figure out how to deal with this public dare.
“Tonight?” I asked, even though I knew that’s what he wanted.
“Yes, Justin.” Then he added the obvious: “In front of the school.”
Well, my plan was to win Chuck over tonight. I had assumed we’d meet up after the dance, he’d tell me how impressed he was with my performance, and we’d end up smooching. I guess I could make it happen quicker. Right after I perform, I could pull Chuck onstage and just go for it.
Unless … what if my song works even better than I thought and Chuck can’t control himself? That would be an amazing way to bust Spencer. Here he is, trying to bust me in front of the school, but what if the joke’s on him?
“Spencer,” I asked slowly, “what if he kisses me first? Does that count?”
It was one of the only times I’ve seen Spencer at a loss for words.
“Uh …” He thought about it. “I guess so.”
Then he paused again before adding, “Good luck, Justin.”
And with that, he walked away toward the “bar.”
And suddenly I was face to face with Becky.
The impossibility of the dare suddenly hit me. I was supposed to kiss her boyfriend in front of her? Even I wasn’t willing to do that. It’s one thing to do it behind her back, but I didn’t want to publicly humiliate her. I’d have to renege on doing a public dare for the first time in the history of my friendship with Spencer. But before I told Spencer to forget it, I knew I had to clear the air.
“Becky,” I said, “I need to talk to you.”
“Really?” she asked angrily. “After not talking to me for weeks?”
I nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? Is that what you say after you could barely stand to touch me when we had our photo taken outside the dance?”
“What? No.” Now she thought everything was a rejection from me. “It wasn’t that I could barely stand to touch you. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”
“Oh, come off it, Justin,” she said. “You’re just a tease. You get me to like you and then when I finally do, you act like I’m disgusting.” And with that, she ran out of the gym. I went after her (first stopping to finally get a handful of chips) and caught up with her in the parking lot.
She was sitting on her father’s car. “Becky, I don’t think you’re disgusting,” I said while still chewing. And panting. “I think you’re beautiful.”
She looked at me like I was crazy. “You think I’m beautiful? Then why did you cut me off after that night at the pond? We used to have fun hanging out … and then nothing.” She started crying. “Why would you hurt me like that?”
“Becky …,” I began, and then stopped. I could make up some lie about having a cold sore and not wanting to spread it, or I could tell her the truth.
You should tell her the truth.
Good ol’ Spencer. Just as intrusive as ever.
I took a deep breath. How was she going to take this? Would we be friends past this next minute?
“Becky,” I began again, “don’t you think Rachel Deena is beautiful?” Rachel graduated last year but was hardly around all senior year because she got “discovered” in a mall and after that was always flying to some far-off country to do a modeling shoot.
“Yes, I think she’s beautiful,” she said, annoyed. “Why? Are you dating her?”
“No,” I said. “My point is, just ’cause you think she’s beautiful, do you want to kiss her?”
“Of course I don’t,” she said, as if I were a moron.
“Exactly,” I said.
“Justin,” she said, frustrated, “you’re not making sense. I wouldn’t want to kiss her because I wouldn’t want to kiss any girl. I like boys.”
I was silent.
She gave me a look like And????
I stayed silent.
Then an expression came on her face and I knew she knew.
“Ohhhh …,” she finally said. I raised my eyebrows. “But …,” she began, “but …”
“But what?” I asked nervously. Was she about to tell me she didn’t ever want to speak to me again?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” She wasn’t crying anymore, but she somehow looked more hurt. “I thought we were close.”
Why didn’t I tell her? “Well, I was scared,” I admitted. I realized I was the same as a lot of kids in that book. “I didn’t want you not to like me.”
“I could never not like you,” she said warmly. “Even when I hated you, I still liked you.”
It made no sense, but I knew what she meant.
She got off the car to give me a hug, and when she did, I felt a big weight lift off my shoulders.
“So, you’ve never told anyone?” she asked.
“Only one other person,” I explained. “My friend Spencer.” Then I added, “Who’s not really my friend anymore …”
“Hmph,” she snorted, “like Chuck’s not my boyfriend anymore.”
WHAT?!?!
“Becky! For … for real?” I sputtered.
She nodded.
“Since when?”
She got back onto her dad’s car. “Since around a week ago. I began thinking about breaking up last month. Right after the concert when you helped me realize my dad was ruining my performances.”
I certainly remembered that night. It ended with the infamous kiss.
“I began to realize who I wanted to be with.”
“Me?” I asked nervously.
“Well”—she smiled—“yes. Or at least, someone like you. Who listens to me and worries about me and tries to help me.”
I nodded. She went on. “Chuck is a lot like my father—he cares mostly about himself and what he wants. He’s a terrible boyfriend.”
I nodded again, but inside I thought that maybe he sucked as a boyfriend because he didn’t really want a girlfriend.
“So, if you broke up with Chuck, why did we have to go to the dance tonight?” I asked. “You don’t need to cover up for your father anymore.”
She looked at me like I didn’t get anything. “Justin. I wanted a chance to spend time with you. The past few weeks you’ve been avoiding me nonstop.” She laughed. “I guess you were afraid I was going to attack you again.”
“Well, it wasn’t really an attack,” I said as I got up onto the car with her.
“Oh, please, it was exactly like my first kiss,” she said with an eye roll.
Huh?
“Your first kiss?” I asked, confused. “I thought that happened in Michelle’s garden and it was perfect.”
“Oh, it was,” she confirmed. “I’m talking about my literal first kiss, not what I consider my first kiss,” she explained, making me more confused.
She must have seen my expression because she launched into an explanation. “Justin, everybody knows that you can get kissed a lot of times before having your first kiss.”
“Meaning?” I was hoping something would finally make sense.
; “Meaning,” she said, as if I were a little slow, “your first kiss is the one where you feel fireworks. The one where you think you’re in love, or you could be in love. The one or ones you get before that don’t count. Your actual first kiss is the one you’ll always remember.”
Ohhhh!!!
I smiled because I think I got it. And because there was hope for me.
She went on. “When I was in summer camp, I had to team up with one of the guys in the other bunk during Color War. When we won the rowing competition, he leaned across the boat and kissed me.” She shuddered with the memory. “I was totally not into him, but I couldn’t escape him in that tiny boat.”
Hmm. Sounds like a certain bench in a gazebo I’ve experienced.
She went on. “It was technically my first kiss but it doesn’t count. I got kissed a few more times since then, but it wasn’t until Chuck that I felt I really had my first kiss.”
Wow.
So that means I’m still waiting for mine.
And, hopefully, Chuck’s going to give it to me tonight!
WELL, SO FAR A FEW things had gone wrong at the dance, but I felt like I was managing them all. After our talk, Becky and I left the parking lot and headed back to the gym. It was weird to be with her and have her know everything. Well, not everything. She still didn’t know that I’d been trying all year to get Chuck to date me. I thought I’d save that reveal for a more appropriate time. Like in a letter from college. Hopefully, when Chuck and I smooch tonight, Becky’ll think it was one of those spontaneous, crazy things and not because I’d been scheming since fall. I walked back into the dance and saw that the big glass jar near the punch bowl was getting filled up with the ballots for the Spring King and May Queen.
Then I noticed Mary Ann getting punch. Spencer, her supposed date/protector, was nowhere to be seen, but horrible Doug Gool was lurking. Ever since New Year’s, I’ve been swooping in and saving her from him. Maybe it’s been my way of staying close to Spencer. I know I upset him when I didn’t sit with them the day Gool put chocolate on her pants, and I guess I’ve felt like I’ve been making up for it with my vigilantism. Sometimes I’d see her waiting in front of the school and Gool’d be turning the corner, so I’d run up, frantically tell her to follow me, and bring her back into the school and out the side exit. Once, I was at the mall (the day I was shopping for my Spring Fling outfit) and I saw Mary Ann sitting depressingly by herself at the food court. Then I caught sight of Doug in line at the Rockin’ Wok. It’s one thing to be harassed at school, but I think it’s doubly embarrassing to have it happen in public. I did a preemptive strike by grabbing her hand and running with her to the elevators.
My Awesome/Awful Popularity Plan Page 13
