Ginny’s eyes flickered over Sarah’s face and slid off. If it had been anyone but her old friend Ginny, Sarah would have interpreted the look as one of contempt. That didn’t make sense. Ginny was her friend. But there was something almost sinister about the way she sat, her back rigid, both feet together on the ground. She looked like a schoolgirl posing for a school photo. But she wasn’t smiling for the camera. She was staring at her hands. They were perfectly still, tightly clasping her handbag. Sarah noted how tightly she was gripping the handle. Her knuckles showed white and the tension was evident all the way up her arms. Sarah felt the hairs rise on the back of her neck.
*
Thel and Tom parked in front of the huge sandstone entrance of Orchard Park Psychiatric Hospital. Tom watched his mother march up the stone steps, her black braids swinging behind her. She exuded determination and defiance.
‘Go Thel,’ he prayed silently.
Tom had a view directly up the steps and watched as Thel disappeared inside. He saw her stand for a moment at the reception desk then disappear from view, he guessed, into the waiting room. He turned on his car radio and settled in for a long wait.
Thel asked for Dr Hubert then sat down. She noticed the old magazines and the locked cage doors at the end of the corridor. All about her was grey linoleum and insipid colourless walls. Maybe they had once been white, or cream, but now they were just dirty. The smells of the hospital stung Thel’s nose. She felt her energy start to dissipate in these cold, sterile surroundings.
Finally Dr Hubert appeared. He stood in the doorway, sizing up Sarah’s latest visitor.
Thel knew she was being appraised and she was ready for it. She smiled benignly, as if she had not a care in the world, and let the dapper little man with the distinguished-looking silver hair and well-trimmed goatee look her over.
‘Dr Hubert,’ she said after a moment, graciously extending her hand. ‘How lovely to meet you. I believe you are taking very good care of our Sarah.’
Dr Hubert found himself smiling back into a pair of lively dark brown eyes. The handshake was brisk. He opened his mouth to speak, to ask who this woman might be, but she was ready for him, her words coming out in a steady flow.
‘I’m dying to see her. I promised her mother I would look after her. Poor Geraldine, over there in Singapore, not able to be much help. I’ll be ringing her the minute I leave here to reassure her that her little girl is being well looked after.’
Thel didn’t consider that to be a lie. Although she had never actually met Geraldine, she knew that if she had, she most certainly would have promised to look after Sarah. And it was equally true, as far as Thel was concerned, that Geraldine was of little use to her daughter over there in Singapore. She had said that to Tom on a few occasions. And as for ringing her, as she heard herself saying the words she thought it sounded like a good idea and decided she would. Any mother, even one as uninterested as Geraldine appeared to be, would want to know that her daughter was okay. Thel gave her most winning smile.
‘Are you a member of Sarah’s family?’ asked Dr Hubert, thinking she must be some dotty aunt.
Thel didn’t miss a beat.
‘Family? Good heavens, what a question. I’m Sarah’s other mother. She lived with me for years in Kiama. It’s a lovely spot. Beautiful. I paint, you see. The ocean mainly. It’s so quiet and peaceful. The perfect spot for Sarah to recuperate, when I get to take her home, after this, um, er, little … episode …’
Thel’s voice trailed off theatrically. Dr Hubert wasn’t a tall man but Thel was still shorter. She gazed up at him from under her dark lashes, trying to look concerned and motherly, worried but completely in charge. It was a complex mix and Thel hoped she got it just right.
‘I see,’ said Dr Hubert. And in fact he did see, rather a lot. He saw straight through Thel. He knew immediately that she was trying to snowball him. But she intrigued him. He guessed she was a shrewd and capable woman, trying to appear as some sort of scatty maiden aunt. He wondered if it was a role she played all the time or if she was putting it on just for his benefit.
Dr Hubert suspected she was deliberately obscuring the exact nature of her relationship with his patient, though he had no idea why, and yet she spoke so confidently he believed she was, to some degree, close to Sarah. She may be able to fill in some of the gaps that Sarah was so reluctant to discuss. Dr Hubert decided that whoever Thel really might be in the scheme of things, she could be of some help to him. He wondered if she knew Sarah’s boyfriend and could give some insight into that relationship. She obviously knew the mother so she could at the very least help him work out Sarah’s relationship with her parents.
Dr Hubert decided to give Thel a tour of the hospital so he could find out what he wanted to know. Then she could see Sarah. He didn’t want to overload Sarah. She already had one visitor. A young woman who said she was family.
Sister Johns was in charge and he knew she would keep an eye on Sarah and notify him immediately if anything or anyone upset her.
He thought it might be good for Sarah to have some company. He still wasn’t keen on letting the boyfriend near her, not yet, not until he was sure he wasn’t part of the problem. Dr Hubert gestured for Thel to accompany him along the corridor.
Dr Hubert didn’t usually conduct tours of his hospital for his patients’ relatives. He was just as surprised as Thel when he heard himself saying, in his most charming tone, ‘May I show you around the hospital and let you see for yourself how we are looking after your Sarah? Is that Mrs …?’
‘Thel. Just call me Thel, everyone does,’ she replied, warming to this beak-nosed man with the funny duck’s walk.
‘All right, Thel, let me be your tour guide.’
*
Tom’s eyes hadn’t left the glass doors of the entrance. He had seen Dr Hubert appear at the reception desk, speak to the nurse behind the counter, then disappear from view. Tom could picture the waiting room with its old magazines and grey walls. He tried to imagine Thel greeting the doctor. He wondered what she was going to say. Tom prayed silently, his nerves stretched taut. He expected Thel to reappear at any moment, looking apologetic. She had tried, but they wouldn’t let her in, she would say. ‘Go Thel, go Thel,’ he whispered urgently.
The moments stretched endlessly and finally Tom could stand it no longer. He got out of the car and inched his way around the other cars to get a better view inside the hospital foyer.
Dr Hubert walked into view and Tom ducked behind a tree, feeling guilty and foolish at the same time. When he popped his head out again he saw his mother smiling and chatting with Dr Hubert as he unlocked the cage security grille, holding it open for her to pass. They looked for all the world like a couple of old friends. ‘Yes!’ said Tom loudly. ‘Good on you, Thel.’
He wondered why he had ever doubted his mother. If anyone could talk her way in anywhere it was Thel. Tom watched the security cage close behind them and leaned gratefully against the tree. He stayed for a few minutes, thinking about Thel and about Sarah. It was excruciating being so close to Sarah and not being able to see her. He thought of her voice on the answering machine that morning. She sounded so defeated, so miserable, it broke his heart. He let the emotion pour through him. Thel would sort it out.
Tom looked about the carpark. The day was growing warm and he didn’t relish the idea of getting back into his car. He walked aimlessly around, stopping at a navy blue Ford. It looked like it had been parked in a hurry, standing far back from the curb at an odd angle. The car was disturbingly familiar. Tom moved closer and peered in the driver’s window. It was neat inside, the plastic still on the inside of the doors. Tucked away in his memory was a vision of his hand on a plastic-covered car door. He remembered how he felt at that moment. Nauseous and disorientated. His head was thumping. That had been in Ginny’s car.
Tom sprinted up the stone stairs, taking them two at a time. The medical receptionist was looking up glass repairers in the Yellow Pages when he burst in.
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‘Sarah Cowley. I have to see her now.’
The receptionist didn’t react. She had worked at Orchard Park for enough years not to be fazed by agitated people walking up those steps. Just last week a man had collapsed from an overdose in the waiting room.
‘She’s in danger. I have to see her – now! For God’s sake, please. She’s in danger.’
The receptionist looked across at the security guard sitting just out of Tom’s line of sight. He started to rise from his seat. Feeling more confident, she gave Tom her most reassuring smile.
‘What seems to be the problem? Sarah who-did-you-say?’
‘Sarah Cowley. She’s a patient here. There’s a car out the front that belongs to her friend. She’s been poisoning her. She’s here somewhere. Sarah’s in danger. For God’s sake …’
His words spilled out. Tom could hear the hysteria in his voice but was powerless to control it.
‘Let me page Dr Hubert,’ said the receptionist gently.
Her placating manner, clearly meant to soothe, only frustrated Tom further.
‘No, no, we don’t have time. Please, you’ve got to help …’
Tom’s tone wavered between hysteria and pleading. The security guard listened to the conversation, ready to step in if he was needed. The receptionist was comforted by his burly presence and the solid desk that blocked her from this handsome but uptight young man.
Tom looked about him wildly. The locked cage doors at the end of the corridor were clearly meant to hold people in, but they were just as effective at keeping him out. He felt cornered, outmanoeuvred. As he watched, the cage doors opened and another nurse walked through. It was Sister Johns doing her rounds. She knew immediately something was amiss. She could see the receptionist was tense. Bill, the security guard, was on his feet. And facing her was a young man, pacing and gesticulating, clearly on edge.
She threw a look to Bill. He moved out from behind the pillar where he could get a clear view of Tom and Tom of him. Broad-shouldered and with a thick neck, Bill stood, feet apart, casually holding his baton, his face completely neutral. Sister Johns walked slowly and calmly toward Tom.
‘What’s the problem?’ she said, careful to keep her distance.
Tom took a deep breath. He knew he had to be convincing, level-headed and above all not sound hysterical. It was his only chance. With supreme effort and fighting the panic that was threatening to overwhelm him, he lowered his voice. He drew on every last ounce of control he could find.
‘My fiancée Sarah Cowley is a patient here,’ he said, enunciating every word clearly and slowly. ‘She has been poisoned. And the person who has been poisoning her is here. Her car is parked outside. Sarah is in great danger. I know this sounds outlandish but it’s true. Please help me.’
Sister Johns knew exactly who Tom was talking about. She had just seen Sarah, sitting by the duck pond, chatting to a woman in a navy skirt. His story did sound outlandish but this was a mental hospital and she was used to that. There was something about Tom’s earnestness and concern that touched a chord. She nodded to the security guard and he fell in close behind Tom. Sister Johns unlocked the cage door.
*
Dr Hubert showed Thel the ward upstairs where the patients slept, eight to a room. The room was spartan and sterile. Thel didn’t like to think of Sarah here.
‘It is very basic, I know, but we try to do our best with the funding we receive.’ As Dr Hubert looked about him he saw the future, his vision for the hospital when the much-awaited extra money came through from the government. The first project would be to replace the bars with multi-pane windows with special security glass and frames. He fought hard at every level for his patients.
Thel wasn’t privy to his vision. She looked about her and hated everything she saw. The whole place screamed to her of pain and suffering. She could feel it in the walls, in the barren greyness.
‘We have helped patients here for more than thirty-five years.’ Dr Hubert spoke with humble pride. He was clearly passionate about his hospital.
Thel felt the pain of all the patients that must have passed through here during those years. She smiled politely, keeping her thoughts to herself.
Dr Hubert led her along the corridor to the dayroom. It had once been a stylish ballroom, with high ornate ceilings and an elaborate chandelier in the centre of the room, which looked incongruous now the room was filled with unmatched armchairs, a large TV and tables covered with debris – games and paper.
Thel walked across to a massive bay window. It would once have been beautiful. A feature of the room. Now it looked unbearably ugly with huge bars. Thel tried to ignore the bars as she looked out over the garden. Patients were wandering around or sitting with visitors, while nursing staff walked around, chatting to them. It looked a pleasant enough scene. Dr Hubert joined her by the window.
‘They’re not all mad you know. Some are, of course. But most of the people who come here are just mentally exhausted. Exhausted by life and all its stresses. The human mind is an extraordinary thing and will go to great lengths to accommodate stress, doing whatever it takes to maintain a sense of equilibrium. The manifestation of that can be perceived as mad. Often it is quite bizarre behaviour.’
Thel listened to his voice. It was deep and cultured, soothing. She imagined he would be good at reading bedtime stories to children.
‘Is that what is wrong with Sarah?’
Dr Hubert nodded. ‘Probably. It is too soon for me to tell what is going on in her mind. She’s not being very … helpful.’
Thel cheered Sarah silently. Nor would I be, she thought, if I was locked in here and had to share a room with seven others, then spend all day looking out these bars at the world outside.
‘Has Sarah been under a lot of stress lately?’ asked Dr Hubert.
Thel considered the question. ‘She was getting married … to my son.’
Thel realised, too late, what she had said. She hadn’t meant to reveal that she was Tom’s mother. She wanted to imply she was part of Sarah’s family. The words had just slipped out. Something about Dr Hubert’s kindly eyes and soothing voice had made her trust him, instantly. That, she supposed, was how psychiatrists did their job. Got you to open up. It hadn’t worked on Sarah but it seemed to be working just fine on Thel.
Dr Hubert picked it up at once. So she was Tom’s mother.
‘Please don’t misunderstand me. They were very happy. It was just that Sarah did seem to be very stressed over the past few months, just not her normal self, and that is the only thing I can think of that had changed. Getting married can be stressful.’
‘What about her parents? I understand they live overseas?’
Thel decided there was no point pretending to know them intimately.
‘Well, Doctor, I don’t think you can expect much help from them. They haven’t shown much interest in Sarah for the past fifteen or so years as far as I can tell. When I said I was her other mother, I meant it. She lived with me some years ago and we are very close. I think of her as a daughter.’
Dr Hubert felt he was finally beginning to get somewhere. ‘I don’t want to upset you, Thel, now that I know you are Tom’s mother, but I would like to ask if there was a history of violence in their relationship.’
The look on Thel’s face spoke volumes. ‘You mean did Tom ever hit her? My God, no.’ She glared at him.
Dr Hubert continued, his voice still calm and measured. ‘What about Sarah? Did she ever hit your son?’
‘Good God, no. Dr Hubert, I am sure you get people in here who do all sorts of violent things like that but Sarah would never ever hurt my son.’ As Thel spoke she realised that Sarah had done exactly that and that’s why she was here.
Thel looked into Dr Hubert’s inquiring eyes, studying her from behind his steel-rimmed glasses. He was quiet, standing very still just watching her. Thel stopped talking. In the silence that followed she realised how agitated and loud she had been, wound up ready to explode, ever since sh
e had arrived at the hospital. She allowed herself to relax, letting her tension dissolve away with a deep outward sigh.
The change in her demeanour was marked and Dr Hubert smiled gently. It was then that Thel really saw the doctor for the first time and felt his kindly, compassionate presence. This man really wasn’t the enemy. They stood quietly eyeing each other.
‘You care about Sarah, don’t you?’ she said, voicing her thoughts.
Dr Hubert nodded. ‘Of course. She’s my patient.’
Thel operated on her instincts. And all her instincts were screaming at her to trust this man. ‘Sarah has been fed steroids. By her best friend. She has been poisoned.’
Dr Hubert listened intently, nodding, encouraging her to go on. Thel didn’t try to put her thoughts into any order. She blurted out everything that was in her head. She trusted Dr Hubert would be able to make sense of what she was telling him.
‘She didn’t know. Tom figured it out. She’s very upset. She called us last night. She needs me. Please let me see her. I want to see her. Where is she?’
Dr Hubert moved across the room to a side window which looked out across another corner of the garden. He pointed to a neat little duck pond where two women were sitting together on a bench.
‘Sarah’s fine, she’s …’ Dr Hubert stopped at the look of alarm on Thel’s face.
‘Oh no,’ she said, starting to tremble. ‘Oh God. That’s Ginny. That’s her.’ Thel grabbed Dr Hubert’s arm. ‘How do I get to them?’ she screamed.
*
Ginny was perfectly poised, all her emotions under control, as she looked at Sarah. She gripped the handle of her bag in her lap, holding it tightly to her. Her eyes were cold and hard as she stared Sarah down. They looked at each other and time was suspended. Around them the distant voices of the other patients mingled with the autumn sounds of birds and whistling trees. It was just Sarah and Ginny, sitting on the park bench, a lifetime of unspoken history between them.
Sarah sensed that something had changed, irrevocably, between them. She didn’t understand what but the eyes that bore into hers were filled with such hatred it chilled her to the bone.
Apartment 255 Page 28
