by JA Huss
“Be right back,” I tell my houseguests. And then I walk outside and pull the door closed behind me. Sasha looks out the window of the black truck and I give her a small wave.
She does not wave back.
I take a seat on the top step of my porch stoop. It’s cold tonight, but not too bad. We can wait her out.
It takes her exactly two minutes and seven seconds to decide to come meet me on the porch. And as she walks up the path to my home, I take her in for the first time since I met her last year.
She doesn’t smile, but I know the braces are long gone. Removed before her grandparents died. But her hair is long and flowing down her front. And she’s tall too. Much taller than the little girl I met last Christmas Eve. She’s wearing a fancy black coat with fuzzy mittens and hat to match. Her dress is a dark red, as are her shoes. She even has a purse that she clutches in her hands as she walks towards me and then stops at the bottom step.
“Hi, Ford.” It comes out fine, but a moment later, she’s crying. She takes off her mitten and wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” I tell her back. “It’s a hard thing to do to leave the people you love.”
She nods her head but the tears stream down her cheeks. “I don’t know what you want from me. James says I have to learn to be a normal teenager. But I’m just not sure I can be that person.” She sniffs and wipes her tears again. “I don’t want to disappoint you, Ford. Because if you left me, or dropped me off somewhere…” She shakes her head and more tears fall down her face.
“That’s not what James is doing, Sasha. He’s not dropping you off. He’s bringing you home. To me.”
She removes her other mitten and drops them both on the ground so she can wipe her eyes. I grab her present, then stand up and walk down the stairs, picking her mittens up for her, before sitting back down on a lower step. “You wanna know what’s new for me this year?” I grab her hand and tug a little. Just enough to get her to step forward and then sit down on the step next to me.
“Sure,” she says, hugging her coat close to keep warm.
“Last year when we met, I had no girlfriend, remember?”
That makes her smile and nod. “You were so clueless.”
“And you were so smart. I owe you big for the lessons I learned from you, Sasha. Because this year, I have a wife, two children, and another on the way.” She looks up at me, surprised. “No. You, Sasha. You’re the one on the way.”
“Oh.” She tucks her hands into her pockets and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know what you want from me. I’m not a good candidate for a daughter. I don’t really follow directions. And I’m opinionated and not willing to bend.” She looks up at me. “I’m kinda stuck in my ways and my ways are keeping me stuck. Does that make sense?”
“Sure. It makes sense. I’m not expecting you to act a certain way. I just want you to find yourself, Sasha. Find the girl you want to be, instead of the girl you left behind, as Rook would say.”
“Rook, the girl-who-is-a-friend?”
“Yeah.” I laugh. “Rook. She’s inside waiting for you. So is everyone else. My mother. Ashleigh’s father. My friends and children. We’re all here for you, kid. I told you I don’t celebrate Christmas. But now I have kids. So I do. And I don’t have parties, either. But today you came, so I felt a celebration was in order.”
She stares up at me with those blue eyes. “What if they don’t like the girl I am now? What if I can’t find the girl I want to be fast enough for them to like me? I’ve killed people, Ford. I’ve seen things. I’ve lost so much.” She starts crying again. “And I’m angry. OK? There. I said it. I’m pissed off because this life sucks. And I always get screwed over. And just when I get attached to James and Harper and think, OK, this is my family, then they don’t want me anymore.”
“They love you enough to accept the fact that they can’t give you what you need, Sasha. And we can.”
“You guys want me to go to school. And be normal. But I’m not normal. I’m a really fucked-up kid.” She looks over at me. “A really fucked-up person, Ford. I’m probably not even safe to be around other kids my age.”
“Don’t be silly. And besides, I start filming in New Zealand for that show I’m producing. We leave in a few weeks. So you won’t even go to school this year. We’re gonna go bum around Down Under for six months. Enjoy two summers. Get to know each other. And then next fall, we’ll come home and be a normal family. So we have three whole seasons to practice.”
She’s silent after that. And we just sit in the cold saying nothing for several minutes. “What’s in the box?” she finally asks, her curiosity getting the best of her.
I pick it up and place it on her lap.
“What is it?” Her face turns up to mine when she feels the shuffling inside. And then she laughs and lifts the lid off.
The little gray kitten is just stretching out her paws inside the blanket. “Oh my God,” Sasha says. “A kitten. I’ve never had a kitten.”
“I wanted another dog, but Ashleigh, pfftt.” I hike my thumb behind me in the direction of the house. “She put her foot down on that one. We have three face-eaters. So I figured it was fine to get something cuddly.” She lifts up the kitten and brings it to her chest. “For you.”
She nuzzles the kitten’s soft fur and smiles. Her shoulders relax. My heart swells with her change in behavior. That a kitten can do this for a sad and broken child, well. It’s touching. “Merry Christmas,” I say.
She snuggles the kitten once more, and then takes a deep breath. Like maybe she can do this after all. “Merry Christmas, Ford.”
I stand up and offer her my hand.
She accepts it.
And then we walk up the front stairs to her new home together.
I stop at the front door and turn to her. “You’re officially part of the Team now, Cherlin. But first things first. I need you to hate Ronin. No matter how charming he is, you must not fall for it. He may be on the Team too, but we’re mortal enemies till the end.”
“Got it,” she says, laughing, as I open the door and wave her inside.
She walks into the room and everyone greets her while I stand back and take off my coat and hang it up in the closet.
I watch my friends and family as they fuss over her like I told them to. She never had a chance against Ronin’s charms, but that pretend indifference gives us something to plot about. Making Ronin miserable is good times.
Sasha greets everyone and shows James and Harper her kitten. I can physically detect the moment when James sighs with relief.
Not because he’s getting rid of her, as Sasha thinks.
But because she’s getting a second chance at a normal life.
Last Christmas Eve I was sad. I was sad that Rook didn’t want me in the way I wanted her. I was sad that the women I thought were fulfilling a need for me really weren’t. And I was sad that I let my life become so meaningless after my father died.
And that night, Rook told me she changed her life by wishing on a star the year before. She went from a sad abused girl to a strong and confident woman. In one year.
So I tried it. I was desperate. Like Sasha is probably desperate for change tonight too.
Never in a million years would I have thought that wishing on a Christmas star could get me this. So I look out the window real quick and find Sirius, our gift-giver.
And I make a wish for Sasha this year.
I wish her heart to be mended.
Maybe it doesn’t happen in one year. That’s OK. We are patient people. I will be there for her as long as she needs me.
Just please, I ask the star. Make her whole again.
Epilogue - Harper
“What’s wrong?” James asks as we snuggle together on Harrison’s new plane. James gave him a fat bonus for putting up with him all these years. The new plane is nice. And much bigger than the last one.
“Just…” I don’t know how to say it so he’s not offended. “Those girls at the party.
Rook, Ronnie, and Ashleigh. I like them.”
“They like you,” he says, playing with my hair. “And they like Sasha. She’s lucky.”
“So lucky. I’m gonna miss her. And I’m gonna miss them too. Even though I just met them tonight, that Rook, she told me a story about her life that... just wow. They all told me stories about themselves. And Ashleigh’s Kate. She’s a Company kid, but they didn’t seem to know that. They never mentioned any Company business. What if—“
“They won’t, Harp. She’s gonna be OK. Sasha will keep an eye out for her. And Merc is close by. Kate will be OK.”
“Buckle up, kids. We’re landing,” Harrison says over the speakers.
“I’d like to live in a town like that, James. And have friends like that.”
“One day, Harper. We’ll go back. But for now, we deserve some time alone. Don’t you think?”
I smile as I sit up and buckle in to get ready for the landing. “Tell me about it again, James. I’m lost in the dream of small town family and friends. So tell me again what we’re doing.”
“We’re starting over, lionfish. Two people, one life. We’ve got a sixty foot sailboat in Miami. Just waiting for us to set her loose in the Caribbean.”
I picture it. I picture sailing through paradise with my husband. I don’t think about before anymore. I did at first, back when things were still raw and the memory of that night still fresh. My heart hurts for Nick.
But I let it go. I let him go. He wanted to take that path in life, and it’s not up to me to stop him.
And James is right. Now that Sasha has a new life, we deserve one too.
“We’ll spend every day in the sun,” he says softly as the landing gear detracts and our new life gets close. “And every night we’ll watch it set. We’ll explore beaches, and reefs, and each other. We’ll sail across the ocean in the spring and be in Australia for the summer solstice. We’ll see Sasha and her new family then. We’ll see how much happier Sasha is. How she’s moved on. And then we’ll sail back. Or find new places to explore. And when we get tired of that. Or bored. We’ll start talking about the future. Long term plans, Harp. Babies and houses and best friend kind of stuff. When we’re ready to settle, we’ll carve that life out for ourselves when it’s time. But don’t rush it. Don’t be too eager to get the happy ending, Harper. Because getting there is the fun part.”
“Yeah,” I agree as the plane touches down. “It’s the journey that counts. Not the destination.”
“Unless the destination is bed. With you.”
I press my face into his neck and take him in. He might be crazy. And he’s definitely dangerous. But I like him this way. And I can’t think of a single regret for how we got to be in this moment right now.
Harrison taxies down the runway as I look out the window at Florida. After we stop, and Harrison’s crew opens the jet to let us out, James has to lower his trademark shades down his face.
Because we walk right out into the sunset.
END OF BOOK SHIT
Welcome to the end of book shit, bitches. This where I get to say anything I want about the book and even though I wrote an EOBS for all the original Company books (Come, Come Back, and Coming for You) I decided it’s been three years since that first novella came out, and it required an update in how things shook out after the publication of The Bend Anthology.
Let’s revisit December 2013, shall we? I was just starting to make a name for myself in this crazy world of self-publishing when CD Reiss and I became friends. She is such a talented author and when she approached me about doing an anthology of original erotica stories I gave her a big thumbs up. So she and I wrangled some people together and we collectively became The Erotica Consortium. This was back when “multi-author box sets” were a pretty new thing. Some authors were doing box sets filled with previously published books, but we wanted to do something completely original. We weren’t the first group to do this, but we were definitely in the first wave of that particular trend.
There was no theme to The Bend Anthology other than push-the-limits dirty sex (and boy, did we do that! BEND was banned on Amazon four days after publication), so that’s not where The Company came from. We all just came up with whatever we wanted, and went for it. When I look back at all the success I’ve had in the past three years since Come released, it becomes very clear where it all started. The BEND Anthology ended up being my very first USA Today Bestseller. So my little novella, Come, was the start of something very beautiful for me.
When the time came to think up a story for BEND, I had just finished writing GUNS, the “last” book in the whole Rook and Ronin series, and there was one interesting character who I felt needed a little more attention. He wasn’t called James in that book. He was just some mysterious guy who showed up on Veronica’s porch and facilitated the entire epic end of the twisted little story about Ronin, Ford, and Spencer.
But I liked him. And if I wasn’t trying my best to bend Guns into a romance and not write a thriller, I’d have made different decisions on where that story went and given him more action. So when it was over, I knew my novella for The Bend Anthology was going to introduce the fans to the real James Fenici.
It started out as a sexy little stalker book and quickly turned into a multi-faceted introduction to Company Kids. I admit, I had no idea where this story was going when I finished Come. I left Harper hanging, James was missing, and I had this damn kid called Sasha Cherlin on my mind. So when I sat down to write Come Back, it was Sasha who ended up driving the whole story forward. I invented her in Slack: A Day in the Life of Ford Aston, as a cute little distraction. But I could not get this kid out of my mind. She was a little Wyoming-bred Nikita and she needed a story.
I have always been intrigued by bad-ass girls. Especially assassins. I loved that movie Point of No Return with Bridget Fonda. It always intrigued me because when you think of bad-ass assassin, you think of men like Merc. Or James. You don’t think of Harper Tate, or Sasha Cherlin, or Sydney Channing. And that’s what makes them so interesting. You never see them coming. When Ford walked into that antique mall in Cheyenne in Slack and chatted up twelve-year-old Sasha while he waited for Merc to make an illegal arms deal with her father, you weren’t supposed to picture her with a gun, facing down dangerous men. Or the only girl in the world with the ability to bring down a global shadow organization. But she was that girl from the minute I decided she was wearing tactical pants as she sat quietly in her chair reading Little House in the Big Woods.
Add in the fact that I set Slack up for a Merc story and included a “present” to Ford from Sasha at the end, and well… yeah. This shit was happening. I just didn’t know it yet.
Sasha is my favorite female character so far. And she’s had that title since Slack published in December 2013. Her role in Come Back is what makes this whole Company story sing. Just a little girl. Maybe scared. Maybe alone. But definitely not done fighting.
And I loved every interaction she had with James. He’s the big brother and the missing father all wrapped up into one insane package. Sasha made James into the guy you all fell in love with, not Harper. It was Sasha who tamed him. It was Sasha who tugged on his heart strings. It was Sasha who put the sane back in sanity for James Fenici. She rolls with the punches, but she hits back too. How could you not fall in love with this kid?
And I always knew, ever since the end of Slack when her father was killed, that Ford was her forever father. But after all the gut-wrenching scenes she had with James in this Company story, it was really hard for me to make James do the right thing give her up. I imagined an entire scene when he and Harper left the Aston house after dropping her off. And there were tears in James Fenici’s murderous eyes. Sasha was his moral compass, even if she never knew it.
I have so many favorite scenes in this Company story, it’s ridiculous. And every single one of them are with James and Sasha. The pick-up on the prairie. Sasha pulling a gun out on James when she catches him talking to Merc in Palm Spr
ings. The roof-top scene when she’s missing her father and James gives her his gun to cheer her up. Sasha eating sticky gummy worms in the desert while James and Harper have sex in the visitor center bathroom. The “dinosaur talk” out at Cabazon where James explains what it really means to be a Company kid. And of course, the end of the book when James takes her out to Bighorn National Park and they become spokes in the wheel.
I love this story. And I am so thankful that Podium Publishing picked it up for audio and gave it new life.
But there’s even more to this story than you realize. Because when Podium picked it up for audio I asked Greg (Podium’s CEO) to ask Tad Branson to be the voice of James. Tad was already the voice of Jax in Wasted Lust and Nolan Delaney in Mr. Romantic, and since then he’s gone on to lend me his voice for Case Reider in the Anarchy Series and Quin Foster in the Turning Series. Tad is basically my favorite audio narrator ever. So Greg did me this favor, Tad said yes, and it was fantastic.
Hold on, there’s one more thing you need to know about Tad. That’s not his real name. His real name is Johnathan McClain and he’s an actor. A damn good actor. He was just using this Tad name for the more sexy books he’d been narrating. I knew he was Johnathan McClain from the beginning because I asked for him specifically for the Wasted Lust book back in 2016. But after finishing the Company he sent me an email. We’d been chatting a little on Twitter and in email since the release of Mr. Romantic… so he sent me this email telling me his loved this Company story and would I like to collaborate with him and write a TV pilot about the Company?
Um. Yeah. Not just because I love this story and pretty much every writer dreams of seeing their books come to life, but also because Johnathan and I just… click. He gets me. I get him. And he’s a very talented fucking writer.
So that’s what we did. We wrote a TV pilot and it’s done. We’re already working on other projects together as we shop that thing around Hollywood. We made a video about it and released it on my website and our social media last week. So if you’d like to hear the whole story about how we became partners, be sure to check that out on my website, www.jahuss.com.
