by Donna Alward
‘Honey.’ Lorraine moved in close so they were touching shoulders. ‘I understand your concern. Your Ty and Krissie have had a lot to deal with, but...children are remarkably resilient, you know?’
She gave a shaky laugh. ‘Are they?’ She didn’t have a clue.
‘Yes, I promise. And I promise they’ll be okay. All you can do is love them the best you can...as you obviously do. All of us here in Bellaroo Creek will do our best to become a second family to them. It’ll all work out in the end.’
The other women, who’d moved back in closer, all nodded and murmured their agreement.
They made it sound so easy.
Why, then, was it proving so very, very hard?
CHAPTER THREE
CAM WENT TO knock on Tess’s front door, but the sound of voices out the back had him redirecting his path around the side of the house.
Tess, Ty and Krissie all sat on a bright blue rug beside the lemon tree. They sat in a row—Tess in the middle—with legs stretched out in front of them and their backs to the sun, and him.
The scene hit him in a place he’d thought he’d locked up for good. For three beats of his heart a gnawing, ragged ache threatened to split him open. Reaching out, he steadied himself against the boards of the house. He’d dreamed of being part of a picture like this once. Ten short months ago, in fact, though it seemed like a lifetime ago now.
A family.
His jaw clenched. Lance and Fiona had stolen this from him.
A boulder of a lump stretched his throat. His temples pounded.
No! He refused to be beguiled by this dream again. He would never again open himself up to the kind of betrayal Lance and Fiona had inflicted upon him.
Filling Kurrajong House with a family, that had all been a ludicrous, out-of-reach dream. He’d found that out the hard way, just like his father. Unlike his father, however, he had no intention of burying himself on Kurrajong Station and stewing in ‘what might have beens’ and regrets, and waiting for death to come claim him. He’d fill the gaps somehow.
He went to swing away, to retrace his steps to the privacy and solitude of Kurrajong where he could wipe this picture from his mind and replace it with his plans for Africa and adventure, but Ty chose that moment to look up at his aunt. In profile Cam recognised the little boy’s frown and the way it changed his entire demeanour. Noted the hunching of his shoulders and the way he curled himself around his knees. Very slowly, Cam turned back.
‘What if this isn’t a good place?’
Tess tousled his hair, and, although he couldn’t see her face, he knew detail for detail the smile she’d have sent the young boy. ‘How can this not be a good place? Look, we have a lemon tree and sultana cake.’ She gestured to the tree and then the plate that shared the blanket with them.
Ty’s frown didn’t abate. Tess’s shoulders started to tighten.
‘And what about all the nice people we met yesterday? Cam’s mum, Mrs Pritchard, was lovely and she gave me her sultana cake recipe. Plus you guys were great and we now have the names for all the vegetables we should plant in our veggie garden. And what about Mrs Bennet? You both told me she’s the nicest teacher in the world.’
‘Yeah.’ Ty grabbed a dandelion out of the lawn and shredded it.
‘Suzie was nice,’ Krissie volunteered, ‘even if she thinks chickens are boring. She said we could come and play in her pool in the summer.’
‘Nice.’ Tess drew the word out, injecting it with what Cam supposed was the appropriate amount of enthusiasm.
‘Mikey and Ryan have dogs,’ Ty said, but there wasn’t a fleck of enthusiasm in his voice.
Cam shifted his weight. What the hell...?
‘What if bad men keep yelling at us?’ Krissie blurted out.
‘Chickadee, that man yesterday wasn’t bad.’ She gave Krissie a one-armed hug. ‘Like I said before, he was upset, that’s all. And remember, people yell for lots of different reasons.’
‘You don’t yell,’ Ty said.
‘Believe me, if I saw one of Cam’s sheep in my veggie patch, I’d be yelling my head off!’
Neither child laughed.
‘But that man yelled at you!’ Ty burst out.
Someone had yelled at Tess? Cam stiffened. He stepped into the yard. ‘Howdy, gang.’
Both children immediately swung around, fear frozen on their faces. Cold, hard anger lanced through him because then he knew—someone had hurt these kids, had frightened them, and he wanted to find out who it was and tear them from limb to limb.
‘Hey, Cam, nice to see you.’
Behind the children’s backs, Tess mouthed, Smile at him, and it suddenly hit him how intimidating he must appear to these two small kids.
He forced his face to relax into a kind of half grin, although his blood burned and the surface of his skin prickled. ‘You guys have the nicest spot in the sun. Mind if I join you?’
‘We’d like that.’ Tess shuffled over. Both children remained glued to her side. ‘Want some sultana cake?’
He glanced at the plate, hunger rumbled through him, but he shook his head.
‘Did you bring Boomer?’ Ty asked.
Cam kicked himself for not bringing the dog. ‘Sorry, mate, I didn’t. I left Boomer in charge of the sheep.’
‘That is one smart dog,’ Tess said, and Cam watched as the worst of the fear and shadows slowly drained from Ty’s and Krissie’s faces.
‘I just dropped by to talk lawnmowers. I have a ride-on and thought I might whizz it around this place tomorrow if that suited you.’
Tess shook her head, her hair so dark and her skin so golden it made him ache in familiar and unfamiliar ways. ‘Oh, no, you don’t, Cameron Manning. I can mow my own lawn, thank you very much. Though, a lesson in how to operate your ride-on would be greatly appreciated.’
It was obviously important to her to do it herself. He bit down on his urge to argue with her, although it chafed at him. He nodded. ‘Right.’
‘Woo hoo!’ She punched the air. ‘I get to use a ride-on mower. How much fun will that be?’
Krissie finally smiled.
‘So how did yesterday’s luncheon go?’ He rested back on his hands, deliberately casual.
‘Ooh.’ Tess rubbed her hands together. ‘There must’ve been thirty people there.’
‘It was a Saturday. Everyone would’ve made an effort.’
Ty scowled. ‘You didn’t.’
‘No,’ he agreed. ‘But I really wish I had.’ And he meant it.
His stomach suddenly rolled. Why hadn’t he gone? Eleven months ago he’d have been there. But since Lance and Fiona... Nausea burned his throat. Despite all his precautions he was turning into a recluse like his father.
No! He snapped the thought off. He was leaving Bellaroo Creek so he didn’t turn into his father. He’d forge a new life for himself—an involved and engaging life. The kind of life he couldn’t have in Bellaroo Creek.
Still... The idea of socialising had become anathema and he’d buried himself in station work, rarely going into town. None of that changed the fact that he wished he’d attended yesterday’s luncheon.
Who had yelled at Tess and spooked the kids?
‘A bad man yelled at Auntie Tess,’ Krissie confided.
‘Who?’
Ty scowled again. ‘His name was Lance and we don’t know if we want to live here any more.’
Lance?
He flicked a glance at Tess and a hand reached inside his chest to wring his heart. The raw grief in her eyes as she surveyed the children made his jaw ache. She glanced up, caught his gaze and tried to smile, but he saw the effort it cost her. That was when he realised she couldn’t speak for the tears blocking her throat, and he sensed that crying in front of the children was the last thing she
wanted. And probably the last thing either Ty or Krissie needed.
‘Oh, Lance!’ he pshawed. ‘You don’t have to worry about Lance.’
Krissie bit her lip. ‘He’s not a bad man?’
He was a black-hearted traitor, but Cam had enough justice in him still to know Lance would be horrified to find he’d become a bogey man to these kids. ‘Nah, he’s all hot air, you know? He makes a lot of noise, but he wouldn’t hurt a fly. I should know, because he’s my little brother.’
Relief rushed into both the children’s faces and it hit him then how much these kids trusted him. He didn’t know how or why—whether it was a carry-over from all of Tess’s positivity when they’d arrived on Friday, or because he’d brought Boomer over to play, or the fact he knew Old Nelson the blue-tongue lizard, but it made his chest cramp. He couldn’t let these kids rely on him too much. He was their neighbour, nothing more. But instinct told him he’d need to tread carefully—these kids needed kid-glove handling.
He ached to quiz them more about Lance—why he had yelled at Tess—but the kids needed to take their minds off yesterday’s incident. They needed to remember the good things about living in Bellaroo Creek. They needed to be allowed to get on with their fresh start without fear and setbacks.
‘Now I don’t know if this will be agreeable to you guys or not, but because I worked so hard yesterday, and because Boomer’s taking care of things today, I get to take the rest of today off.’ He rubbed his chin and pursed his lips as if in a pretence of thought. ‘So I was thinking you might like to go and check out some chickens and puppies.’
All three faces on the blanket before him lit up. He immediately tried to temper their enthusiasm. ‘Today we only look because these things take a lot of careful thought and planning. It’s a big responsibility to own an animal and you need to be very sure that the choice you make is the right one for you, you understand?’
All three heads nodded in unison. It struck him how young Tess was—she couldn’t be much older than twenty-five. Too young for taking on all the responsibility she had.
Ty jumped up. ‘Can we leave right now?’
He suppressed a grin at the young boy’s eagerness. ‘You’ll need time to get ready. I’ll pick you up in an hour. Promise you’ll be ready?’
‘Yes!’ Both children raced indoors and Tess laughed. She actually laughed as she watched them and it lightened the unexplained weight that had settled across his shoulders. To see pleasure in her face instead of fear and grief...
She leapt to her feet. He rose more slowly, finding it suddenly difficult to catch his breath. She grabbed his arm, reached up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. ‘I could kiss you, Cameron! Thank you.’
He went to point out that she’d done exactly that, but he couldn’t push a single sound out of his throat. He went to tell her to call him Cam, but his full name sounded so bewitching on those charming lips of hers, he found himself saying nothing at all.
And then she hugged him—hard and fierce—and it knocked the sense and the breath clean out of his body. Every sweet curve Tess possessed pressed against him, and his body soaked up her warmth and vigour. It brought him to aching life and sent a surge of primitive hunger racing through him with the swiftness of a rabbit startled in the undergrowth. A wildfire licked along his veins...carrying the same danger that fire did out here in the bush.
Reason screamed at him to move away. Instead, one of his arms snaked around her waist and he pulled her in closer, hugged her back. His hand rested against the top of her hip. He wanted to move his hand lower, he wanted to mould her against him, wanted her soft and pliant and...
He felt rather than heard her quick intake of breath. She stiffened. A heartbeat passed. A heartbeat in which the fire raging through him threatened all of his control, and then she softened against him.
He let his hand drift down to cup her bottom and lift it against him. She arched into him. He groaned. He couldn’t help it.
Her hands drifted down his chest, her face lifted to his, her eyes soft and her lips parted.
He wanted to taste her. He wanted to explore the fullness of her bottom lip and—
For God’s sake, she hugged you out of gratitude. She wasn’t inviting you to maul her like some low-life sleaze!
He recalled the raw pain he’d witnessed in her eyes a moment before and, rather than snap away, he eased her out of his arms gently. ‘Sorry, Tess.’ His voice came out raspy and hoarse. ‘I forgot myself for a moment.’
She blinked twice before the mistiness cleared from her eyes. Her cheeks flushed bright red. ‘Oh! I—’ She swung away. ‘You and me both. I’m sorry. It’s been an emotional morning.’
He shrugged and tried to appear as casual for her as he had for the children earlier. ‘No harm done.’
She turned back to him. ‘No harm done,’ she echoed, her eyes searching his to test that truth. They both stood there awkwardly until she glanced at her watch. ‘So you’ll be back at around eleven?’
He snapped to and nodded.
‘Should I pack a picnic?’ She smiled impishly and everything slowly returned to normal—the colour of the sky, the sound of birdsong, the racing of his pulse. ‘You wouldn’t believe how much food there was at yesterday’s do. And somehow most of the leftovers ended up in my car.’
He stared at her lips—they were more plum than rose. Hunger stretched through him as he took in the fullness of her bottom lip. His pulse began to race again. ‘Sounds great,’ he said, backing up. ‘I’ll see you in a while.’
He shot around the house and back towards his homestead. It occurred to him that burying himself out on his station for the last ten months might not have been the wisest course of action after all.
* * *
Cam’s four-wheel-drive pulled up out the front and Tess hauled in a deep breath and locked the front door. Ty and Krissie raced towards the car with all the alacrity of children promised their heart’s desire.
Cam had done that. He’d found the perfect way to remind them of all the exciting potential that living in Bellaroo Creek could bring. They’d gone from the doldrums to delight.
But she should never have kissed him. She most certainly shouldn’t have hugged him.
And yet, even now, her body throbbed with a primitive hunger. She yearned to explore each and every line of his powerful body—naked. She craved his hands on her again—gentle hands, knowing hands. Oh, so knowing. Her knees quivered before she could stop them.
Enough of that!
She kicked herself into action and moved down the path, sidestepping Old Nelson who currently sunned himself on the cement path. Cam met her at the gate to take the picnic basket from her. He searched her face. She let him—freely and openly. She searched his face too. It was amazing how much information they could convey to each other without a word. He liked how she looked, and he wanted her in the same way she wanted him, but...
They both sighed and nodded at the same moment. Romance wasn’t on the cards for either of them. She didn’t know his reasons, but she knew her own. She’d been selfish her entire life—selfish and clueless—but not any more.
I won’t let you down again, Sarah. I promise.
‘Where are we going?’ Krissie demanded the minute Cam started the car and eased it onto the road.
‘Our first stop is the O’Connell farm. Blue O’Connell has the best layers in the entire district. He has show chickens too. He takes out the blue ribbon every year at the Parkes agricultural show. What’s more, his black lab has had a litter of puppies.’
Ty started talking so fast Tess couldn’t understand a word he said.
‘Steady, buddy.’ Cam laughed. ‘We’ve also a litter of border collie pups—like Boomer—to check out as well as some poodles.’
When they reached the farm, the children literally launched themselves out
of the car. They both jumped and danced—at least in Krissie’s case—and jumped and hopped—in Ty’s—with uncontained excitement. Tess watched them and something inside her swelled. To see their faces alive with hope instead of fear, to see them grinning at the unknown farmer who came to greet them rather than backing up towards her with suspicion clouding their eyes, lifted something inside her.
To see them, for just one moment, truly happy. It made her want to weep. It made her hope. It made her think that coming to Bellaroo Creek had been the perfect plan after all.
‘Are you Mr O’Connell?’ Krissie asked.
‘That I am, little miss.’
‘I’m Krissie.’ She walked right up to the farmer and held her hand out. ‘And we’re here to see your chickens.’
Sweet Lord, she must want a chicken badly.
Ty hung back for all of five seconds before bursting forward as well. ‘And your puppies too.’
‘Well, young folk, that’s something I can certainly accommodate. Come right this way.’ With a wink and a smile for Tess and Cam, he led the children towards the barn.
‘Are you okay?’ Cam asked, those green eyes of his seeming to plumb her soul.
‘Oh!’ She pressed both hands to her chest. ‘Oh, Cameron, I think they’re going to be fine after all.’
He tipped his hat back—a dusty, sweat-stained Akubra. ‘Why wouldn’t they be?’
She had to swallow before she could speak. ‘The last three months have been just awful. And...’
‘And?’
Beneath her hand her heart pounded. ‘I didn’t know if they would ever be happy again,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t know if I could help them be happy again, but... But your mum was right. Children are resilient.’ This was the beginning of the brand-new start she’d been hoping for. Now she just had to focus on keeping them all on an even keel and making sure they felt secure.
‘C’mon.’ He took her arm. ‘I have a feeling you need this as much as they do.’
They found Krissie sitting in a pen with the silliest piece of feathered nonsense that Tess had ever seen perched on her lap. It looked as if it should be worn on some posh hat for Melbourne’s Spring Carnival. Krissie raised her big brown eyes. ‘This one,’ she whispered, hope so alive in her face it stole Tess’s breath.
