by Donna Alward
‘Then do you really think she’d lie to you about this?’
He considered that too. ‘She doesn’t want me and Krissie to be mad with our dad.’ He glared. ‘But I am. I’m really mad.’
‘Yeah, I get that.’
Ty gazed up at him, eyes wary. ‘You do?’
‘Sure I do. Your dad hurt you and Krissie and your mum. It’d make me angry too.’
‘Auntie Tess said he was sick.’
‘I think your auntie Tess is right. And you know what else I think? I think that your dad would be very glad that he can’t hurt you any more.’
‘Even though he’s dead?’
Cam nodded. ‘Even then.’
‘You think he loved us?’
‘I think he loved you all very much, Ty. I think he just wasn’t able to show it any more.’
Ty rested his head against Cam’s shoulder. The trust awed him. The warm weight cracked open a gulf of yearning inside him. He closed his eyes. He understood Ty’s anger. It was the same as his anger at Lance. Except Ty’s dad had been sick. Lance had no such excuse.
Eventually Ty pushed away and climbed out of Cam’s lap. He missed the warmth and the weight immediately.
‘I’m going to go and give Auntie Tess a hug.’
‘I think that’s an excellent plan.’
He followed Ty around to the backyard to find Tess and Krissie, now with Fluffy on her lap, talking quietly on the blanket. Tess turned at their approach. Without a word she opened her arms and Ty raced into them.
What if, like Ty and Krissie’s father, Lance died in a car accident? The ground shifted beneath his feet. He planted his legs more firmly and bit back a curse. Lance had burned his proverbial bridges. He was nothing to Cam any more.
That assertion, though, didn’t ease the burn in Cam’s heart.
He forced himself to focus on the tableau in front of him. Tess held Ty for several long moments and then rose, holding him in her arms. She hitched her head in the direction of the house and Cam nodded, settling down on the blanket beside Krissie.
She glanced up at him with those big brown eyes that were identical to Tess’s. With a cluck and a flutter, Fluffy freed herself to scratch about in the grass.
Krissie moved closer and curled up against him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. ‘You okay, pet?’
She nodded. ‘My daddy was very sick, you know?’
‘So I understand, honey.’
‘It’s very sad,’ she whispered, leaning into him. ‘And I think we should bury him with Mummy and maybe he’ll be happy again.’
She was five, but her generosity and ability to forgive stole his breath. ‘I think that’s a real nice idea, sweetheart.’
He wasn’t sure for how long they sat there, but when Tess materialised in front of him, he glanced down to find Krissie fast asleep. Tess went to take her from him, but he shook his head. ‘Let me. You lead the way.’
They put Krissie to bed. He followed Tess back into the kitchen. She grabbed two beers from the fridge and handed him one before leading the way back outside again.
‘You okay?’ he asked. She looked pale and lines of weariness fanned out from her eyes. She looked as if she could do with a nap herself.
She settled on the blanket, stretching her legs out in front of her before glancing up at him. ‘Some days I feel as if we’re merely lurching from one catastrophe to another.’
He lowered himself down beside her. It suddenly shamed him to think how he’d tried to seduce her last weekend. She had so much to deal with. ‘I held Ty while he cried his heart out and all I wanted to do was make things better for him. I know that’s impossible. I don’t know how you’re managing to do all this with such grace.’
She opened her beer. ‘I’m not sure there’s much grace involved.’
‘I think you’re doing an incredible job.’
She turned those eyes on him. Eyes the same as Krissie’s. He had absolutely no intention of trying to seduce her again, but what if she moved in close and curled up against him the way Krissie had? He couldn’t get the thought out of his mind.
He forced his gaze away. ‘I will tell you something,’ he managed. ‘Nobody could get them through this as well as you are.’
She took a long pull on her beer. ‘Some days are better than others. The gaps between the bad days are getting longer.’
He read her unspoken hope that eventually there wouldn’t be any more bad days, but both of them knew bad days came and went. Ty and Krissie, as they got older, would simply learn to deal with those bad days more effectively. With Tess’s help.
‘So...’ She studied him. ‘Are you okay?’ She asked as if she could sense the confusion bubbling just beneath the surface. It reminded him how well attuned they were to each other’s moods. It reminded him that he wasn’t going to attempt to seduce her again.
‘Yeah, sure.’
But even as he said the words he knew they were a lie.
He frowned. ‘Krissie...’
She watched him closely, as closely as he often caught her watching the children. It made the ache around his heart ease for some unaccountable reason. ‘What about Krissie?’
‘Something she said...’ He scratched a hand back through his hair. ‘She said she thought that if her father was buried with her mother, then maybe he’d be happy again.’ His frown grew. ‘She wants him to be happy.’
‘Of course she does. He was her father. She loved him.’
‘But he hurt her and Ty so badly.’
‘Your father was unfaithful to your mother, but does that make you love him any less?’
His mother’s revelation had shocked him, had made him rethink all he’d thought he knew about his father—but, no, it didn’t affect the love he bore for him.
‘I think a part of Krissie remembers the good times before her father’s accident, when they were all happy and life was how it should’ve been. I think Sarah helped keep those memories alive.’
‘You’ve forgiven him too, haven’t you?’
She stared down at her beer and nodded.
He leapt up and started to pace. ‘How can you? How can you find that in yourself after everything he did to your sister?’ He knew she’d loved Sarah. ‘And to those kids? I know how much you love them.’
‘I don’t see why loving them means I should hate Bruce. I can’t forget that Sarah hadn’t given up on him. I know she still loved him. I can’t forget all the years he made her happy or their joy when the children were born. They—’
She broke off to stare at her drink. ‘He didn’t go looking for that accident. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. He’d been a loving husband and father up till that point. And I’m proud of Sarah for sticking by him.’
He opened his mouth but she held up a hand. ‘Yes, she should’ve gotten the children away from that situation sooner, but I’m proud of her for having the courage to try to find help for the man she loved. My sister loved him, Cameron. I cannot hate him. I...I just can’t.’
He’s your brother and he deserves the benefit of the doubt!
He collapsed back down beside her, her words of last weekend echoing through him. He knew precisely where Krissie’s generosity and her big heart came from—from her auntie Tess. ‘No wonder you think me a hard, unfeeling brute.’
‘I think no such thing!’
‘Lance.’
Just one word but comprehension dawned in those melt-a-man eyes of hers. ‘That’s a bit different. You’re an adult and so is Lance, even if he has been acting like a petulant teenager.’ She smoothed the rug and glanced away. ‘He’s learning a very hard lesson now, though.’
I think a part of Krissie remembers the good times.
Cam scowled at the ground. There had been good tim
es, but...
‘I think it’ll probably be good for him in the long run. He relies too heavily on his charm, and I suspect your mother has shielded him far more than has been good for him. A bit of hard work and a whole lot of worry may make a man out of him yet.’
His head came up. ‘Steady on, Tess, he’s not that bad.’
There were days when Lance had made life hell. There’d also been days when he’d made Cam laugh until his sides had hurt. It was why Cam had put up with the hell days—because nobody else in the family had ever laughed all that much. That laughter had been worth a lot.
She leaned back, stared down her nose at him. ‘Do I hear you defending him?’
Was he?
If anything happened to Lance while he was in Africa... Cam swallowed. What if something happened to him while he was away? Was this really how he meant to leave things?
He frowned and finally cracked open his beer. ‘I guess I am.’
She arched an eyebrow. ‘Is that significant?’
He dragged in a breath. ‘If Krissie can forgive her dad...’ He shook his head. ‘Lord, Tess, I can’t be shown up by a five-year-old, now, can I?’
‘It’d be very poor form,’ she agreed.
Somewhere inside him a smile started to build. He held his beer towards her. She clinked it in a silent toast.
CHAPTER TEN
TESS WANTED TO leap to her feet and dance. She wanted to hug Cam.
She suspected the dancing would prove the lesser of two evils.
A new calm had settled over him, certain shadows had retreated from his eyes—not all, but some—and his shoulders had lost their angry edge.
She surveyed them and bit her lip. In fact, they looked broad and scrumptious.
Cam cleared his throat and she realised with a start that she’d been staring at them for too long. She snapped her gaze away and lifted her beer to her lips. ‘If you want my two cents’ worth...’ she started before taking a sip.
‘Which you’ll give me, even if I don’t.’
The grin he shot her and the effortlessness with which he teased her filled her with such a fluttery nonsense of wings she was in danger of floating two feet above the ground. She clutched a handful of blanket and held tight.
‘What’s your two cents, Tess?’
She surveyed him over the rim of her beer. ‘I think you should pay your family a visit tomorrow afternoon.’
‘Why?’
‘The sooner the better, don’t you think?’
He stared at her for a long moment. ‘And?’
‘And I’ll be there,’ she finally ’fessed up. She wanted to be there when he faced his family too. She wanted to make sure Lorraine, Lance and Fiona didn’t take advantage of him. ‘Last weekend at your party it was as if it were you against them and the rest of the world. That’s not true. You have friends and I think both you and they should acknowledge that fact.’
Also, her being there would create a subtle confusion she was eager to encourage. Cameron might love Fiona to her dying day, but neither Lance nor Fiona had to know that. They had no right to crow in triumph. It wouldn’t hurt anyone to think Cameron had well and truly moved on.
It could hurt you.
She shrugged the thought off. She knew the truth—Cam was leaving. Forewarned was forearmed. She could protect her heart.
‘I’m dropping Ty and Krissie off at a birthday party and then popping by Lorraine’s to discuss the memorial service. Apparently Lance and Fiona plan to be there to offer their...’ She shrugged and rolled her eyes.
‘Moral support?’
She bared her teeth. ‘Something like that.’
He started to laugh. ‘So who exactly is helping who in this scenario?’
She couldn’t help but grin back at him. ‘Why don’t we call it a joint effort?’
His grin was slow and easy and it could make a woman’s heart kick straight into triple time without any warning at all. ‘What time are you supposed to be out there?’
‘One-thirty.’
‘I have a few things to do in the morning, but...I’ll be out there by two.’
‘Excellent.’
‘C’mon.’ He nodded towards the garden bed. ‘Time to get back to work.’ He helped her to her feet and she tried to ignore the strength of his hands, tried to ignore the heat he exuded, and the fresh smell of cut grass.
She averted her gaze from the strong, lean promise of his back and threw herself into attacking the ground with the assorted instruments of destruction currently within reach.
* * *
‘Well, Tess,’ Lorraine said, leaning back in the padded wicker sofa that graced her generous back patio, ‘that should all be remarkably easy to arrange.’
Tess had just outlined the simple service she and the children had agreed upon.
‘No Herculean feats to be performed,’ Lance said with a smile.
He almost looked disappointed, as if he sensed Tess’s reservations about his character and wanted to prove himself in her eyes. Who knew? Maybe he did. But if she needed any Herculean tasks performed she’d ask his brother, thank you very much.
Fiona leant forward to top up Tess’s teacup. ‘Do have a scone,’ she urged, as if unstinting hospitality might melt Tess’s reserve.
It’d take more than a scone and a cup of tea. What this pair had done to Cam—
It’s none of your business. She had no right holding a grudge against this pair. Especially when she’d been urging Cam not to and—
Her teacup wobbled. None of her business? Everything to do with Cam felt like her business.
Because he’s helped you so much, helped you, Ty and Krissie feel a part of Bellaroo Creek.
That was right. That was all it was.
Her heart started to thump. Why, then, when he smiled at her did her heart grow wings? Why when his eyes practically devoured her did she feel like the most desirable woman on earth? Why when she kissed him was it better than making music?
She’d told herself she’d wanted to be here today to support him, but it wasn’t the whole truth, was it? She set her tea down before she could spill it. She’d wanted to be here today to prevent Fiona from getting her perfect pretty little claws into him again. She’d wanted to stake her claim.
Because she’d fallen in love with him.
Her heart throbbed. Her temples pounded. Cam had made it clear to her that she had no claim to stake. Hadn’t she been listening?
Of course she’d been listening! She seized a pumpkin scone and bit into it viciously. But how could a woman not fall in love with a man like Cam? He had the biggest heart of any person she’d ever met. He did so much for others, and all of it without fanfare. He had the kind of grin that could melt a woman’s resolutions in a heartbeat and the kind of physique that could have her fantasising in Technicolor.
He was so...much. He was everything. And she loved him.
The acknowledgement calmed the dervishes careening through her blood. A hard black ache settled in her heart instead. She set her pumpkin scone back to her plate.
* * *
Cam rounded the corner of the veranda and found his family and Tess seated in front of him. In the warm sunshine and the filtered light from a wisteria vine, the tableau looked inviting and almost summery—even with the cool of autumn in the air.
Tess, though, looked pale and his heart lurched for her. Organising this memorial service must be hell. She glanced up and her face relaxed into a smile of pure pleasure. It immediately buoyed him up. He couldn’t remember any woman’s smile affecting him the way Tess’s did. Not even Fiona’s.
‘Hello, Cameron.’
‘Tess.’
His mother shot to her feet, delight lighting her face. ‘Cam!’
He mov
ed down the length of the veranda and kissed her cheek. ‘Hello, Mum.’
Lance stood more slowly. He nodded to Cam and then turned to Lorraine. ‘There’s some work I should get done in the eastern paddock.’
Fiona jumped up too. ‘I’ll help.’
There was no denying that they were trying to make room for him, trying to make things less awkward. He appreciated the effort. Tess had been right. They deserved the benefit of the doubt. ‘I’d like the two of you to stay, if you don’t mind.’
A tremulous smile appeared on Fiona’s lips. It left him unmoved and he suddenly frowned. When precisely had he fallen out of love with her? His heart started to pound. Or had she been right? Had he been more in love with his dream of filling Kurrajong Station with laughter and with a family?
Lance sat when Fiona tugged him back down to the seat beside her. His blue eyes filled with a hope he desperately tried to hide, but Cam had always been able to read his little brother.
Until he’d turned his back on him.
He glanced at Tess and she held a hand out to him. He took it without thinking, squeezed it before releasing it to take the lone chair at right angles to her. The only other spare seat was beside his mother. It wasn’t that he wanted to shun her. He just wanted to face his family square on during this conversation—read their faces, gauge their reactions.
‘You wanted to speak to us about something, Cameron?’ his mother asked.
‘I’ve been thinking about your visit last weekend, and it has to be said that I was discourteous and churlish in response to your offer of an olive branch. If the offer still stands, I’d like to accept it.’
‘It still stands!’ Lance shot to his feet and thrust his hand towards Cam.
Cam rose and shook it. With a nod he took his seat again. He met Tess’s warm gaze, recognised her unspoken approbation. It made him push his shoulders back and lift his chin. Her innate generosity and the sacrifices she’d made had helped him see sense. More than that, though, she’d made him believe he was worth more than he’d ever credited before.
He turned back to Lance before he could become too preoccupied with the dusky fullness of Tess’s bottom lip. ‘This is just a start. It’s going to take me a while to trust you again.’
