But first I had to see my mum and my sister. I desperately wanted to see them all again.
One last time.
I walked down the street that led towards the Burger Bar, gazing at every house, every shop, and grinning inanely. In spite of all that had happened here, it still felt like home. I stood and closed my eyes, breathing deeply. Carbon monoxide and pollution, but the air had never smelled sweeter. I could even smell the Burger Bar’s greasy chips from halfway up the street. I had time before I went home to call in there. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Diane’s face when I saw her again, or the look on all my friends’ faces. All my friends except for Pete, I reminded myself, and guilt flooded through me.
No, I wouldn’t stay very long. I wanted to spend most of tonight with Mum anyway . . . and we needed to talk. I needed to make sure someone knew the whole truth. Someone who still cared about me. It was dangerous, I knew, but I wouldn’t give in until I made her believe me. Made her realize I wasn’t joking. I sighed and opened my eyes, and was just about to start walking again when I saw him.
Morgan.
And he saw me. He was at one end of the street and I was at the other. Neither of us moved.
‘So you’re back,’ I heard him utter to himself.
I realized I was holding my breath and let it out with a hiss. Morgan was standing under a street lamp so his face was illuminated. I tried to focus on his eyes. They still held the human spark that mine now lacked.
So Andrew hadn’t made him one of us. Morgan smiled secretly and turned round to walk back the way he’d come. I let him go. I wanted nothing to do with him. Andrew was my concern, not him.
I took a few more steps towards the Burger Bar, but it was as if a light inside me had dimmed. Seeing Morgan again made me pause. Maybe I shouldn’t see my friends again. I didn’t want to put them in danger. Better to leave things the way they were. And what would I say if they asked me about Pete? What would they think about me vanishing for nearly two weeks just after he’d been killed? Maybe I should just go and see Mum and Teegan, then seek out Andrew.
I turned and went the long way home via the park. I jumped over the railing and sat on the swings in the children’s playground, kicking myself slowly backwards and forwards for a few minutes. It’d be the last time I did that too.
Time to figure out exactly what to say to Mum. Nothing came into my head. Over the last week, all I’d thought about was Andrew and what we would say to each other. I tried to imagine all the scenarios, like planning chess moves in my head – and I was crap at chess. My dreams of what it could be like when I finally caught up with Andrew fought with the likely reality . . . and reality haunted me mercilessly.
Ah, but in my dreams, Andrew and I held each other with no more doubts and misunderstandings between us. I would look into his eyes, he would look into mine . . .
‘I want to wake up and find this has all been a dream. The worst dream of my life,’ I say. ‘I want to wake up to find that there are no such things as vampires, except in feature films and fiction books. I want life back.’
‘Every time I go to sleep, I hope for the same thing,’ Andrew says sadly. ‘I think to myself, when I wake up it’ll be day. But it never is. It’s always night.’
‘I miss the day – sunshine on my back, rooftops against a blue sky, shadows caused by sunlight . . .’
‘I miss . . . feelings.’ Andrew moves towards me. ‘I miss being really happy or really sad. I don’t feel anything any more, except for you. Only you.’
‘Hatred?’
Andrew shakes his head. ‘I could never hate you.’
He smiles at me. I smile back. We move closer together, clinging onto what we had.
‘Our capacity to sympathize, to empathize, is dying,’ I murmur. ‘And it’ll get worse, won’t it? There’ll come a time when no one and nothing will matter. Killing others won’t matter because we can’t die. Life won’t matter because we can live for ever. It’s started already, hasn’t it?’
Andrew holds me. I hug him back. I’ll never let him go again.
‘I’m sorry, Jayna.’
‘I’m sorry, Andrew.’
We walk off to greet the sunrise together . . .
With a sigh, I opened my eyes. Nothing but a fantasy, that’s all it was. A wonderful daydream. I got up and set off for home. Reality stinks, I thought sadly. But soon I’d see Mum and Teegan again. The reality of that would have to hold me for years to come.
Within three streets of Mum’s house, I heard screaming: ‘Teegan! Oh my God! Teegan is still in there!’ The fear and panic in Mum’s voice set me running immediately. I was there within seconds. And what I saw brought me to an abrupt halt.
Our house was on fire. Hungry orange and yellow flames belched out of both the bedrooms at the front of the house. I could feel the intense heat even from where I was standing. An immense crack and the windows in the living room blew outwards. Flames licked out of that room and up the front of our home.
‘Mum . . . Mum!’ I shouted as I ran towards her.
Mum turned her head as she heard me call. She looked as though she’d aged ten years since I’d last seen her. Her eyes were huge, wild, her shoulders drooped forwards. Her neck muscles were taut.
‘Mum . . .’ I whispered as I drew near to her.
‘Jayna, Teegan is in there! I couldn’t get her out. She’s still in her bedroom . . .’
Mrs Tout put an arm round Mum’s shoulders. They were both crying. Quite a crowd had gathered by now and there was panic and pandemonium as Mr Travis, one of our neighbours, tried to get near the house but was beaten back by the flames. There were cries for the fire brigade, the police and an ambulance.
‘I’ll get her out,’ I said to Mum. I raced towards the house.
‘Jayna, no!’
Ignoring her, I battered on the door with my fists. It gave way immediately. The heat was intense and shocking black smoke rushed to meet me, but I could just about bear it. For the very first time I was profoundly grateful for what I now was, for the strength it gave me. But I couldn’t be complacent. Fire was my enemy.
‘I’m coming, Teegan!’
I dashed up the stairs, coughing until my lungs stung and my eyes wept. Flames ate at the banisters and snatched at my jacket, setting it alight. I pulled it off as I ran and flung it behind me.
At the top of the house, the fire was creeping towards Teegan’s bedroom at the back. Smoke was everywhere. I ran straight to her room and kicked the door in – the smoke had reached there already and it hung in the air, swirling like some demonic cloud. Through the haze I could see my sister huddled under the window at the other side of the room. Her breathing was laboured, heavy. Running over to her, I picked her up. She lay limp, a puppet with its strings cut.
‘Teegan . . .’ I cradled her against me. ‘Oh, Teegan, hang on. I’ll get you out of here.’
I tried to go back the way I’d come, but the flames were whipping around outside the door. I could stand the flames for long enough to run through them, but there was no way that Teegan could. Think, Jayna! I tried to calm my mounting panic. Should I try to make it to the bathroom? I could douse Teegan in water once there to protect her from the flames until I could make it out of the house. But I still had to get through the raging fire outside her room first. And that I couldn’t risk. I heard an ominous series of cracks, followed by the sound of falling and it took only a few seconds to realize that the top of the staircase was collapsing. There was only one thing I could do now.
I put Teegan over my shoulder, her face against my back, and pushed against the window with one hand. It was shut fast with paint and there were specks of blood on the upper frame where Teegan had obviously tried to open the window, damaging her hands in the process. Angrily, I pushed harder. I thought I would have to put my fist through the glass, but luckily it didn’t come to that. The window flew open.
I climbed out onto the window ledge. Taking a deep breath, I threw myself into the air and landed
on my two feet in the back garden seconds later. I turned Teegan round to check on her immediately. Her warm breath fanned my cheek and I could hear her heart beating, slow but steady. I gasped with relief – she was still alive. Holding her tightly, I walked down the path to the side gate. Three steps, and my knees almost buckled under me. Suddenly weary to the point of exhaustion – I hadn’t fed since the previous night and my energy was low – I forced myself to keep walking. Opening the gate, I walked out of the front garden and onto the street. I saw Mum – still staring frantically at the burning house. I tried walking towards her, but my knees gave out under me. I tried to call, but my throat felt as if I’d swallowed gravel.
All I wanted to do was cry.
‘There she is!’ someone in the crowd shouted.
Mrs Tout turned her head, then pointed. Mum followed the direction of our neighbour’s finger and I tried to smile. Mum dashed across the road towards me, fell to her knees and took Teegan out of my aching and burned hands, smothering my sister with kisses and rocking her back and forth as she begged Teegan to wake up. Where was the ambulance? Had somebody phoned for one? I looked past her at all the people watching our house burn.
And that’s when I saw them.
Morgan and Andrew were standing together, but a little apart from the rest of the crowd, watching me. And then I knew with absolute certainty why our house was on fire. I struggled to my feet, an action which took all the energy I had left. It was as if everyone else in the world had disappeared. There was no sight, no sound – nothing but Morgan and Andrew. And there was no mistaking the expression on their faces. I returned it tenfold.
I hated them.
I hated them with every breath that I took and every cell in my body. I hated Morgan for his insults and his narrow mind and his stupidity, but most of all I hated Andrew. ‘My’ Andrew. Blood drinker, vampire, murderer. He’d wanted me to share in all he was and all he could be? Well, he’d succeeded. I loathed him.
‘Jayna, are you all right? Is Teegan all right?’ Mrs Tout appeared, blocking my view. She was laughing and crying all at once, hugging me to her as if she’d never let me go. Teegan began to cough fitfully, her eyes still closed. In the distance I heard the wail of approaching sirens.
‘We’re fine, Mrs Tout,’ I whispered. I looked over her shoulder, but Andrew and Morgan had gone. ‘Just fine.’
But I thought, OK, Andrew – you win. If it’s a war you want, then it’s a war you’ve got.
39
‘JAYNA, YOUR EARS are stuck in your backside!’ Mum stormed.
‘Mum, I didn’t want to stay overnight at the hospital, taking up a bed. And I am not going back for a check-up in the morning. I feel fine,’ I argued for the umpteenth time.
‘I still don’t know how you did it.’ Mrs Tout shook her head as she brought in yet another pot of tea.
It was after midnight now and we’d gone back to Mrs Tout’s. The fire brigade had finally put out the fire but most of the upstairs of our house was gutted. They and the police were still shifting through the debris to find out what had caused the blaze.
An ambulance had taken us all to hospital. Teegan was fine, but they’d decided to keep her in overnight for observation, and we had left her sleeping peacefully. I had superficial burns to my hands and arms and the A & E doctors had suggested keeping me in hospital too, but I wouldn’t let them. How could I? I needed desperately to feed. And besides, how could I explain that already, beneath my bandages, my skin was knitting together and healing. It was a peculiar sensation, like being pricked by many blunt needles. And once I’d fed again, my skin would heal faster still. Then there was the little matter of hiding from the daylight in a hospital ward . . .
Mum – still in shock from what had happened and just to stop me whining – had signed for me to come home, though I realized later that as I was now eighteen, this hadn’t strictly been necessary, but even so she still felt she should have insisted I stay. Mrs Tout had taken over as soon as we got into her house, which had given me time for a quick trip out into her back garden where I managed to quickly feed on a squirrel and a cat with no collar, just so I looked healthy again. The last thing I wanted was for Mum to be anxious about me on top of worrying about Teegan and our ruined house.
‘I still don’t understand how it could’ve happened so quickly. I was listening to music in the kitchen and drinking a cup of coffee. Teegan was in her room watching a film on her DVD player. The next thing I knew, the whole of the upstairs was on fire and the flames were spreading down the stairs. If anything had happened to either of you . . .’ She shuddered.
‘But it didn’t,’ Mrs Tout said firmly. ‘So don’t go brooding over what never happened.’
I could’ve kissed our neighbour. She was in her element now that she had someone to look after. I glanced across at her television, which was surrounded by a plethora of photographs of her husband who had died in a hit and run incident some years ago. I thought of all the photos Mum kept of Dad and remembered the time just after he’d died. Mum hadn’t said much, but I’d heard her crying, night after night.
Dad had died of pancreatic cancer and I remembered too how, just after his funeral – when she thought she was alone – Mum had taken off her wedding ring and thrown it at the living-room wall, silent tears streaming down her face.
It’s strange the things that stick in your mind. Like, if I lived to be one thousand, I’d never forget tonight and seeing Morgan and Andrew watching me. Morgan’s look of mocking satisfaction I could dismiss for what it was. But it was Andrew’s look of hatred as he viewed me that would always stay with me.
‘Are you sure you’re all right, Jayna?’ Mrs Tout asked. I nodded. ‘Now, you can all stay with me until the insurance comes through so you can get your place renovated,’ our neighbour said firmly.
‘Paula, I don’t want to impose. We can stay in a hotel. I have the money,’ Mum protested.
‘Nonsense! Why throw good money away? I have plenty of room, and you know how much I’d enjoy the company.’
‘I know.’ Mum smiled.
Mum and Mrs Tout sipped at their tea, and I pretended to sip at mine. I was loath to break the companionable silence but I had to. Bracing myself, I drank down the tea, wincing as the liquid burned its way down to my stomach. Anything but blood always burned its way painfully through me.
‘Mrs Tout, any chance of another cup of tea?’ I asked.
‘Of course, dear. You’re beginning to look much better now! Hand me your cup and I’ll go and get you one.’ Mrs Tout bustled out of the room, pleased to have something to do.
‘What’s the matter?’ Mum asked me quietly.
‘You wouldn’t believe me even if I did tell you.’
‘You said that once before.’
‘And I was right. You didn’t believe me.’
Mum frowned at me. Then she gave me a puzzled smile. ‘You always were a strange child, Jayna. I could live to be a hundred and still not understand you.’
‘I take after you, then, don’t I?’ I teased.
Mum and I smiled together. It was kind of amazing that we could do so after everything that had happened between us.
‘Happy birthday for yesterday, by the way,’ said Mum, her smile fading.
‘It wasn’t a happy birthday,’ I replied. ‘When I think of what could’ve happened to Teegan . . . Suppose I hadn’t got her out of our house in time—’
‘But you did,’ said Mum. ‘Jayna, don’t dwell on what might have been. Life is too short.’
I nodded, more to placate Mum than for any other reason. She was wrong. I had the rest of eternity to dwell on what might have been.
‘I’ve been so worried about you,’ she said. ‘You went away for such a long time. You seemed to disappear into thin air.’
‘Mum, I was only gone for two weeks and I did phone you once I got my new mobile.’
‘It’s not the same.’
‘I guess not.’ I sighed.
‘And
you’re going away again, aren’t you.’ It wasn’t a question.
‘I have to, Mum.’ I lowered my head.
‘Are you going away with Andrew?’
‘Please don’t ask me any more questions. Just know that I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to.’ I looked up at her. ‘You were right about a lot of things, but please don’t say “I told you so”.’ And like a dam cracking, I gave in to everything I was feeling and started to cry.
Mum stared, her eyes wide.
‘What’s the matter? You’ve seen me cry before,’ I sniffed.
She stood up and walked over to me. She placed a finger under my left eye and a single teardrop ran onto it.
A single teardrop of blood.
‘Jayna . . .?’
A sob escaped my lips when I saw her look of absolute horror. ‘I’m a vampire, Mum. What I told you before about Andrew and what happened in Fipoli was the truth . . .’ Unable to bear the way she was staring at me any longer, I turned and ran out of the house and into the night.
40
* * *
Andrew,
I’m sure you want to see me as badly as I want to see you. I will be at the deserted office building on the corner of Acre Road and Oliver Street tomorrow night at ten thirty. Don’t bring anyone else. They’d only get hurt.
Jayna
* * *
I READ AND re-read what I’d written. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do. It would get him there. Then I pressed SEND to fire off my text message to him.
Funny how nothing ever happened the way you thought or hoped it would. Even when I came back from Fipoli the second time, I’d still hoped that the situation between Andrew and me could somehow be salvaged. Now I knew that was impossible. I hadn’t looked for it and I hadn’t wanted it, but Andrew and I were at war. A war between two vampires.
And we had one final battle to fight – a battle I couldn’t afford to lose. Maybe I’d come home too late? Maybe I should never have left? All I knew was that Andrew was evil. He was dangerous and he’d never leave my family alone now. Well, if he wanted me so badly, he could have me.
Trust Me Page 18
