by Susan Sass
Faith did not know how long she ran, blundering through the trees and fields, avoiding the road and trails. It seemed the more she ran the more the panicked compulsion to escape rose up, erasing thought. Each time she slowed the thinking came back, ‘love, slave, truth,’ the incoherent thoughts would come back, mocking her, taunting her. Her sobs were loud in her ears, softly babbled protests of, “no… no… no… please, oh god please… no…” She ran until the soft light of morning found her, stumbling blindly along the brink of a cliff, the ocean crashing against rocks far below.
For just an instant she hung there, swaying at the brink, the precipice at her feet, inviting her to jump. It felt like her heart was beating so hard that her chest would burst. The very idea that she could jump, end this struggle, this agony, was the worst of all. Faith recoiled and turning wrapped her arms around the smooth trunk of a tree, clinging to it. She screamed, “Mistress, help me. Please, help me.” But all she heard was the dull grinding roar of sea far below.
Abruptly her knees buckled and she sagged to the ground, sobbing. Somehow at the edge of the island, Faith know there was nowhere else to run and there was no way to escape the truth. It was there in her heart. Softly she mumbled the words, “I love her. I love her. I need to love her and I am a… a… a slave… her slave… his slave.” And she knew it was true.
But somehow, knowing the truth did not silence the voice in her head, whispering, muttering, hissing, ‘slave’. She knew it was true, that was what she was. Now could she face it, accept it? Could she live with it? The others, Marc, tiffany, Layla, Ramona… all of them seemed content, no not just content, happy… even joyful. Faith could see it in their eyes, in the tones of their laughter, even in the relaxed beauty of their bodies. She huddled there wondering if she could ever silence this voice in her head, the angry, protesting, mocking voice that would not let her find that happiness. She wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned back against the tree trunk and looked out across the sea.
She was too tired to cry or protest. She just sat there numb and aching. She knew that by now, that she must be missed, that someone would have called Aya and her Master, that they were probably searching for her and she would be punished. But even that knowledge was somehow welcome. Faith wondered dully about that, why didn’t that frighten her? In fact she knew that she wanted it. She wanted that demonstration of her enslavement. She wanted the pain to wash away the voice in her head.
The sun was descending in the sky when she pulled herself to her feet and began to wander aimlessly, not sure exactly which way it was to go home. She marveled at that word, ‘home’. Yes, this was home. Where ever her Mistress was, home was at her feet. Slowly she made her way along the edge of the island and as the sun dropped low, she recognized the fields that had surrounded the box. Faith stopped and stared at the little plywood chamber where she had first woken up a life time ago. And she nodded, yes, even this was home. Mistress would find her here. And then Mistress would make the voice in her head go away. Slowly she walked into the little prison and lay on the floor, and curled up into a ball. And in the first time in three days, she dropped into a deep sleep.
Chapter 10
JD pulled the blindfold from Aya’s face. She blinked and tried to focus. It had been a long day and her Master was taking a break from their play, leaving her blindfolded and bound. Aya had lain in the tight embrace of the ropes, regaining strength, getting ready for round four, or was it five? As she focused on his face, slowly sinking into his deep green eyes she s tremulously, wondering what he had in mind to do to her next. But he shook his head, holding up his cell phone. “Our little slave has flown her coop.”
Aya blinked and tried to talk around the gag in her mouth and then shrugged, waiting. If he wanted her opinion he would remove the gag from her mouth. JD’s mouth twitched and he took off the gag and began to untie her. “The doctor called, seems she was missing from the dorms, sometime last night.”
Aya worked her jaw and swallowed, “Last night? What time is it?”
JD’s mouth twitched again, “Late? Or perhaps more accurately, early. We played the night away. It is morning.”
Aya winced and groaned as JD manipulated her arms and legs, massaging the blood back into her muscles. “I guess I should have expected this. This one seems to be struggling so hard against her nature. She cannot get far. Are the search parties out?”
“Yes, the whole island is alerted. We will find her soon enough.”
Aya stood up, for just an instant swayed, dizzy and she s ruefully, “My Master, I must apologize for this rude interruption of your elaborate plans. I am sure you had something wonderful planned for me. Now our little slave has spoiled all your preparations.”
JD’s eyes warmed and he pulled her nude form into his arms, his fingers tracing the marks of his use, “Perhaps we will find a time to finish this, but now we have a truant to retrieve.”
Aya frowned and leaned against him, “I just hope she does not hurt herself in her panic.”
JD and Aya entered the security office. Doc was already there with the guards, watching the screen intently. When he heard them enter, he looked up with a tired but genuine smile.
“You look like you have some good news.” JD greeted his friend.
“I do. Just about an hour ago, a review of the security cameras found this.” There was a gleam in Doc’s eyes. JD and Aya both peered over his shoulder at Faith’s sleeping form. JD met Doc’s eyes and he nodded knowingly. Aya released the breath she’d been holding ever since they’d entered the compound.
“That’s very good news.” He slipped his arm around Aya’s waist and hugged her close. “Seems some changes have occurred for our little girl.”
“I decided it would be best to leave her alone and just keep an eye on her until you arrived.” Doc said.
“Good call,” JD looked down at Aya. “I think it would be best if you wake our little prodigal. Let her know if she feels the need to start over, we can accommodate her. After the two of you have your little talk, lock her in and give her twenty four hours to contemplate, then, oh say, a day or two of new arrival training. You can bring the collar and a guard, but I’ll bet they won’t be necessary this time. After that, we’ll see depending on her.”
“Yes, Master.” Aya replied thoughtfully.
“That will give us time to complete some unfinished business.” JD kissed her gently on the forehead.
Aya s tenderly and kissed JD’s hand. She held it to her cheek a moment before leaving to carry out his orders. The shocked look on Doc’s face at such an unguarded expression of affection from the “Ice Princess” almost made JD laugh out loud.
Instead, he dared his friend to comment with a raised eyebrow and asked with feigned innocence, “What?”
Doc simply shrugged and turned away, “Oh, nothing…Nothing at all.”
Faith woke to the sound of Aya’s voice, “It is fitting that I find you here.”
For an instant Faith lay there, briefly confused. Just the sound of her Mistress’s voice was a wild rush of exhilaration, but then she remembered. She had run away. Her Mistress would be angry. There would be punishment. Lurching to her knees she put her forehead on the wooden floor of the box, her voice was choked, “Mistress, I am sorry.”
Aya looked at the young woman at her feet and felt again the thrill of power. “Look at me and explain yourself. I don’t want excuses, I want an honest explanation.”
“Mistress, you were gone and Master was gone and everybody was trying to help me get through it by keeping me busy but I kept having these horrible thoughts…” Faith’s words ran together as tears spilled over.
“Stop.” Aya held up her hand and Faith choked and silenced herself. “Breathe, calm yourself, begin again when you can speak coherently. Believe me; you will have plenty of opportunity to weep later.”
Faith gulped down her sobs and steadied her breathing. She stared into Aya’s eyes and found the strength she needed to obey.
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br /> “It’s as if there was another person in my head, telling me awful, ugly things. I tried to ignore it, to make it shut up but the thoughts persisted and got worse and I all I knew was I had to get away, to escape, to run away from it. Not from Master or you or this place, from it. Before I knew it, I was on the other side of the island, where the cliffs are. But the person, the… voice… in my head followed me. I almost threw myself over the edge to the rocks and sea below, just to finally be rid of it, to silence it, my doubts, my fears, all of it. That’s when I understood the only way to exorcize my demons was to come back, to Master, to you, to home…”
“What was the voice saying?”
“What it always says, that all this is wrong, that I’m not a slave, that I’ve been brainwashed and am sick. that I’m perverted and stupid for giving in and not fighting everything about it. It makes me hate myself for falling in love with my brothers and sisters, in love with the Master, in love with you.”
“And it keeps you from embracing your new life.” Aya added.
Faith nodded her head vigorously. “I know I will be punished for what I’ve done. But please understand, Mistress, please make the Master understand, I wasn’t acting against him. I was running away from me, the old me. I don’t know how to let go of that part of me, but I want to so badly.” Faith couldn’t continue. There were so many emotions raging in her, it was impossible to put them to words. She would just have to trust Aya to understand the rest, somehow she knew she would. Overwhelmed, she lowered her head to her Mistress’ feet and tenderly, almost worshipfully kissed them.
Aya looked down at her, her face thoughtful, her lips pressed together. Her eyes went up to the camera and knowing that JD was watching sighed and shrugged. Reaching down she gripped the girl’s hair and almost brutally, she jerked Faith up, onto her knees, twisting and forcing her head back, her face up. She could not help but notice how instantly passive the girl became, her body softening pliant, almost hanging limp from the fist twisted in her hair.
She stared down at the dirty tear stained face. “What is the voice saying now?”
Faith’s voice was hoarse, but vibrant, “Oh, Mistress, it is gone. When you are here, it is gone.”
Aya looked again at the camera, “Little slave, I cannot help but think that your choice to return here, to this box, was more than an accident. I think your choice was a plea to start over, to return to the beginning and retrace your steps.”
Faith blinked but did not speak, her eyes locked on Aya’s face. Aya released her so abruptly she fell to the floor and lay there for a second before resuming her exaggerated position of subjugation, her face pressed to the floor, her hands extended palm up. Aya noted that Faith was carefully, deliberately assuming the formal postures that had so recently been drilled into her mind and body. “Yes, little slave; remember your lessons, each and every one.” Then she snapped her fingers, and her voice snapped sharp and harsh as the click of her fingers, “Slave, stand, display position one.”
Faith instantly jumped up, her feet apart, her hands behind her neck, her back arched. Her eyes widened at the sight of the electric shock collar in Aya’s hands. For an instant, there was a surge of shame and a distant echo of old rebellion, but then, she felt the strangest wave of happiness. Yes, yes, this was right.
Aya removed the chain around Faith’s waist. She hung her head in shame but didn’t protest. Faith deserved this. She was no longer worthy of wearing the pretty gold chain or tinkling bells. She was in disgrace. The electric collar was buckled around her neck. Again, a wave of shame assaulted Faith’s body. Tears began to silently fall. Aya reached for the controls on her belt.
“Mistress! May this one beg to ask a question before you activate the collar?” Faith prostrated herself in the dust of the cell floor, using the formal “slave-speak” she’d heard others use to indicate the import of what they needed to say.
Aya hesitated a moment. Her hand waived slightly over the controls, she almost denied Faith her last chance to speak but curiosity decided otherwise.
“Speak.”
“This one realizes that she has not right to plead for any special treatment, but she implores you to petition our Master on her behalf. She understands that her discretions not only harmed and insulted her Master and you, my Mistress, but the entire community as well. She begs the privilege to be tried and punished publicly. She wishes the opportunity to atone for her crimes against her brothers and sisters as she understands that she has caused harm and sisters to them as well. This one cannot hope to reconcile. She has acted selfishly, without considering the pain and worry, not to mention the consequences to those she was entrusted too.”
“Perhaps hearing her confession and witnessing her punishment, some recompense can be achieved. This one owes it to them. They were never at fault, yet they carried a horrible burden. Perhaps her penance will somehow heal the hurt she caused.”
Aya looked again at the camera, knowing that their Master would have already heard, “Slave, your Master has already heard your words. What he will decide? It is not for me to influence or for you to worry about. It is your duty to wait and accept his judgment.”
“Now, slave, our Master has decreed you must spend the next day alone, to contemplate your actions.”
Faith’s face turned toward her and Aya could see the terror there, the fear of being left alone. Her eyes were filling with panic. And Aya crouched down, her voice low, “Little slave, you must face this voice of yours, only you can truly silence it. As you contemplate, ask yourself this question, what is it you fear so much? What is it you fear so much that you must hate, and hate yourself for wanting it?” Lightly Aya reached out and gently touched the collar, “Think, little one, and remember your lessons.” Then she turned on the power and left. The guard closed the gate.
Only after Aya walked away did Faith let herself sag to the floor and curl into a small wounded ball. To be left alone was the cruelest of agonies. ‘Stupid’… the voice hissed in her head… ‘Stupid, you wrecked it all, you fucked it up’. Faith let the tears flow, the sobs silently shaking her. But she did not lie there passively, in her spirit she was engaging in a pitched battle. Noiselessly she fought back, her lips silently mouthing the words, “No, not true. If I do well, if I obey. She will come back.” And after a while that was all she could focus on, “She will come back. She will come back. She will come back.” It was a soothing mantra and finally the tears eased and the voice retreated to a dull and restless murmur.
Faith pulled herself to her knees, took a deep shuddering breath and assumed the posture of waiting. She did not allow herself to glance up at the camera, did not allow herself to wonder if anyone was watching, she just thought the words over and over, “…remember you lessons, obey...” and most important of all, “…she will come back.”
Chapter 11
JD leaned back and pulled Aya, who was sitting on his lap, closer as together, they watched the monitor focused on the cell. Faith spent the first couple of hours purging herself by laying on her side, curled in the fetal position, weeping silently. Eventually, she seemed to gather her strength and calm herself. Aya could see her charge that she knew so well, coming to terms with herself. She knew Faith could deal with being left alone as long as she knew that she and the Master were nearby. She was caged and restrained by the collar, all reminders of her captivity.
They watched with interest as Faith pulled herself to her knees. She assumed the position of a slave waiting to serve. Her feet were together with her legs spread wide, exposing her sex. Her palms rested lightly on her thighs, palms up. Her back was ramrod straight, shoulders back, breasts thrust forward. Her eyes were cast down, as if she were being judged by her Master for service. She stayed that way, calm, submissive and humbled. When food and water were brought, she ate and drank expeditiously. She used her bucket for waste with an efficient grace as though she determined that, while her Master desired her well fed and didn’t want his property soiled, she only had mo
ments to fulfill those obligations before she returned to the task on hand and returned to the same meditative posture to complete the more important, her contemplation of her crimes.
Later, they saw fatigue creep in. Frequently, she should nod off, only to shake herself and resume her penance. Several times, she almost fell as she slipped uncontrollably into somnolence. JD made a call and gave an order. A guard told Faith that her Master wanted her to sleep. Faith nodded and bowed from her knees, indicating her gratitude for the message and curled up on her side where she’d knelt for almost twenty hours without allowing herself a break and fell into Oberon’s spell.
The words of the guard confirmed the words in her heart. Master hadn’t forgotten her, he was watching and he wanted her to sleep. He knew and he cared. Sleep came quickly. The dream was one she had had many times before.
Faith stood next to the hole in the earth, the smell of dirt raw and ugly in her nostrils. She stared into the gaping wound in the grass and wanted to scream. But she couldn’t scream, there were people there, people all around, people in somber clothes and her Aunt stood close, holding her hand. The cold viselike grip, sharp nails digging into her skin, a cruel reminder that she must ‘behave, conduct herself respectfully, that hysterical behavior will not bring them back’. Her Aunt’s voice was cool and controlled, “Faith, you must face the facts, they are gone, they are not coming back.”
