“Tell us what happened, and we’ll figure this out together,” Ceejay cajoled. “Paige and I both know what it’s like for our husbands to cope with PTSD on a daily basis. Believe me, we just want to help.”
Cory bit her lip and blinked back the tears threatening to fall. What did she have to lose anymore? Taking a deep breath, she faced them. “I had a flashback the night of the rodeo, and I kneed Ted in the groin when he put his hands on me.”
“Ouch.” Paige’s brow lowered in thought. “But that doesn’t explain—”
“Ever since I’ve known Ted, I’ve been completely up-front with him. I’m not in a place right now to start a relationship. The night of the rodeo, we argued. He…he said I’m the one for him, and I flat-out told him I can’t be,” she whispered. “I rejected him.”
“Oh, boy.” Ceejay blew out a breath and canted her head to peer at her. “Noah tells me everything. He said you admitted to having feelings for my cousin. Is that true?”
“Yeah, it’s true, but did you not hear the part about me kneeing him in the groin?” Her ears rang with her accelerating pulse. “He deserves so much more than the baggage I drag around with me.”
“Have you told him how you feel about him?” Paige asked.
“No! Why would I do that? He’s better off without me.”
“Hmm. Is he? Why do you get to make that call all by yourself?” Paige slid down the wall to sit on the plush carpet and stretched her legs out in front of her. “You two are going to have to help me back up when we’re done here.” She shot them both a wry grin. “Listen, Cory. Ted needs to know how you feel. Do you really think it’s fair to keep that from him? He’s a grown man. Let him decide what he can and cannot carry when it comes to your baggage. For crying out loud, at least give him all of the facts. Doesn’t he deserve your honesty and respect?”
“I do respect him, and I care about him, which is why I can’t—”
“Believe me,” Ceejay cut her off. “Love is the greatest healing force on earth, but you have to let it in before the magic can take hold. Paige and I both went through similar situations. Our guys also carry baggage, but neither of us regret the choices we’ve made.” Ceejay pinned her with an intense stare. “My cousin loves you. He’s a damned good man, and you’re one lucky woman.”
“It’s true.” Paige nodded. “I’m going to share something Ceejay’s aunt Jenny told me when I made the same kind of mistake you’re making right now: don’t let your head get in the way of your heart, because your heart is your only true compass when it comes to navigating your way through life.”
“Aunt Jenny said that to you?” Ceejay’s gaze shot to Paige. “You never told me that.”
“She did.” Paige shot her sister-in-law a grin before turning back to Cory. “Tell Ted how you feel about him before it’s too late,” Paige said, lifting her arms. “Now, let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.”
Ceejay pushed herself up from the toy chest. “I hope we haven’t scared you too badly. We really do want to see the two of you happy.”
Cory got up to lend a hand pulling Paige to her feet. “If it’s all right with you two, I need a few minutes.”
“Sure.” Paige pressed her palms into her back and rubbed for a second. “Stay here as long as you like. Come on, Ceejay. Our work here is done.”
“Was this what you and Noah argued about earlier?” Cory asked.
“Yeah. I wanted to interfere, and Noah wanted me to let the two of you work it out for yourselves.” She shrugged. “He and I had plenty of interference. A lot of it came from Ted, and I’m forever grateful to my cousin for his help. I’m just trying to return the favor.”
Cory waited for the two women to leave before sinking back down on the rocker. Don’t let your head get in the way of your heart. Was that what she’d been doing all along? She closed her eyes and let the rocking motion of the chair soothe her. Noah said he didn’t get a decent night’s sleep until he held Ceejay in his arms. He hadn’t begun to heal until he let the love in.
Ted was a full-grown man, and she’d treated him like a kid. Recrimination sank its teeth deep into her soul as another realization hit. She’d robbed him of the right to make his own decisions where she was concerned. Was it too late to turn things around?
Ted switched on the overhead lights and turned up the radio, filling the machine shed with country music. “Which do you want to do, Dad, the oil change or the tire rotation?”
“The tires.” His dad grabbed a couple of hydraulic jacks from the shelves. “Thanks for helping me get my truck taken care of before you start working on your latest project.”
“No problem.” He went for the bucket he’d use for the old oil. “I have everything ready to start on the Ford. Tomorrow I’m going to call Kyle and John. They offered to help me take the engine out.”
“How come you aren’t at the Malloys’ housewarming tonight? From what I hear, practically all the young folks in Perfect are attending their shindig.”
“Not ready.”
“To face Cory?”
“Yeah.” The all too familiar constriction rose to his throat, and missing her brought an ache to his chest. Trying to shake it off, he focused on the task before him. He moved the wheeled trolley into position. Then he went to the Peg-Board for the wrench he’d need. As soon as his dad had the truck up on the jacks, he’d slide underneath and drain the oil. “When’s the last time your spark plugs were changed?”
“It’s been awhile.” His dad slid the jack under the axle and raised a corner of the truck. “I don’t think we have any on hand,” he said as he moved to the other side to repeat the process. “You going talk to her? Things are going to get mighty awkward at work if you two can’t come to some kind of understanding.”
“I know.” He sucked in a huge breath, releasing it slowly. “I’ll call her tomorrow, see if she wants to get together for coffee or something.”
“Ted?”
“Cory?” All the air left his lungs, and his heart jackhammered against his sternum. He whipped around so fast it made him dizzy, or maybe seeing her standing in the doorway did that.
“I heard you were back.” She shoved her hands into her front pockets. “Hi, Mr. Lovejoy. How are you?”
“Fine. I’m fine. Nice to see you.” His dad’s gaze swung from her to him and back. “I, uh…I’m just going go see what the hogs are up to. I haven’t shared today’s headlines with ’em yet.” He placed the jack on the ground by the truck, turned off the radio and left.
Ted studied her. She looked good, less haggard. More rested. Heartbreakingly beautiful. Awkward silence filled the machine shed as she studied him back. He couldn’t seem to get his mouth to work, so many things he wanted to say at once tangled him up inside, knotting his tongue.
“The hogs haven’t heard the headlines?” Cory took a few steps into the machine shed, her brow puckered in confusion.
“Yeah.” His voice came out a hoarse rasp. He swallowed a few times. “My dad likes to keep them up to date on current affairs.” The grip he had on the wrench grew painful, and he walked over to the Peg-Board to put it away, turning his back to her. Pull yourself together! “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to talk to you.” Seconds ticked by, and her face turned red. “A lot has happened since you’ve been gone, and…I don’t know. Maybe you don’t want to talk to me. I wouldn’t blame you.”
“No. We can talk.” Her hesitant tone cut right through him, and guilt for leaving without telling her freed up his list of priorities about what to say. “I’m sorry I left without telling you first. I had a lot to sort through,” he muttered to the Peg-Board in front of him.
“No apology necessary. I’m the one who needs to make amends.”
Was she here to apologize for not being able to return his feelings? Didn’t want to hear it, if that was the case. “Why aren’t you at Ryan and Paige’s tonight?” Screwing up his courage, he turned to face her.
“I was. Paige and
Ceejay told me you were home. They did an intervention on me, and I had Wesley drive me home shortly after that.”
Wesley. Of course. Another hit to the solar plexus. One of her sexy half smiles tore the heart right out of him, and it was all he could do not to drag her into his arms and bury his face in the delectable spot where her slender neck met her shoulder. He needed to take in her scent like he needed to breathe. “Intervention?”
She nodded, her eyes meeting his. “Can you spare a few minutes?”
“Sure. What are friends for?” Petty much? He leaned against the workbench, mostly because chances were good his knees weren’t going to hold him much longer. His mouth had turned to sawdust, and his heart still hadn’t slowed its frenetic pace. “You said lots has happened. Like what?” He snatched a shop cloth from the workbench and wiped away at the nonexistent oil on his clean hands.
“I heard back from the Yale legal clinic. My benefits have been restored, and I’ve been honorably discharged.”
“That’s great, Cory. I’m glad to hear it.”
“Thanks to Noah, I’ve already started therapy at the VA center.” She toed a few washers that had found their way onto the concrete floor. “I’m also taking medication for anxiety and something to help me get some sleep.” She glanced at him through her lashes. “You were the one person in the world I wanted to share all my news with, and you were gone without a word. I’ve missed you,” she whispered.
His heart skipped a beat. “I’ve missed you too, but—”
“Look, I know I said I couldn’t be your girl, and—”
“You’ve changed your mind?” His head shot up, and every muscle he owned tensed. Now he knew what people meant when they talked about soaring spirits. His took off for the wild blue yonder.
“No.”
“Oh.” What kind of a crazy elevator ride was she taking him on, anyway? A surge of anger shored up his wobbling knees some.
“It’s more like a change of heart.” She moved to stand within reach. “My mind has been the hang-up all along. I’m just praying it’s not too late.” She blinked several times, her eyes bright with unshed tears. “There’s something you have a right to know, Ted. Something I’ve kept from you out of my own misguided notion that I needed to protect you from all my craziness.”
“What’s that?” His breath got caught up on the wildly swinging pendulum of his emotions, and he couldn’t seem to get any air into his lungs.
“I’m in love with you.” Her eyes roamed over his face, touching him like a caress. “I think I have been since the day you put the lock on my office door.”
All control deserted him. Exultation arced and sizzled through his veins like a live wire, giving him the strength of ten men. He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her, pouring everything he wanted to say into the mingling of their breath and their deepening kiss. She didn’t pull back or cringe. Instead, she pressed her curves against him. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she held him tight and kissed him back with equal passion.
He ended the kiss and nibbled his way down her neck to that spot he’d dreamed of endlessly, taking her delicious scent deep into his starving soul. “That’s good news,” he whispered into her ear, eliciting a shiver that sent his blood rushing. “Because I’m in love with you too.”
“You are?” She placed her soft hands on either side of his jaw, gazing at him with tenderness, vulnerability and hope. “I have an idea.”
“Oh?” He pressed his forehead against hers and smiled. “I thought I was the idea guy.”
“That’s one of the many things I love about you, but this time it’s my turn.” She took a deep breath. “Let’s kick out some bad memories and make some new ones of our own. I want to sleep in your arms tonight, Ted. When we make love, I’m going to keep my eyes open so I don’t lose sight of you for one second. And later, if the nightmares come, wake me so that I can see who’s holding me.”
“Are you sure, sweetheart? We can wait for the making love part.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “If you want, I’ll go with you to therapy. We can work through a few things together first.”
“You called me sweetheart.” She giggled.
“Is that allowed?” Pulling back, he studied her. “Can I call you honey and sweetheart, hold your hand when we walk? You’re my girl now, right?”
“Yes to all of that. Yes. I’m yours.” Her eyes filled again, and tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’ve never been more sure of anything my entire life. I’ve wasted so much time being afraid and pushing you away. I don’t want to waste another minute.”
“OK.” He wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “How about we just take things slow, sleep in each other’s arms tonight, and—”
“I want you, Ted. I’ve always wanted you.” She scowled. “Are you going to stand there and argue with me about this? Seriously?”
He laughed, put his arm around her shoulders and guided her out of the shed to the stairs leading up to his apartment. “That’s my girl.”
“And don’t you forget it.” She twined her fingers in his. “I don’t suppose you have protection?”
“I do.”
“That’s good.”
He caught the slight hitch in her breath, and his heart filled with tenderness and the powerful need to protect her. His little soldier’s nerves weren’t as steady as she wanted him to believe. He wasn’t going to push, but he also sensed backing away would be a huge mistake. That might do more harm than good. He needed to navigate his way through this like a cat burglar. Each step he took had to be placed with infinite care. “You’re in charge, Cory. Whatever you need, whatever you want, I’m yours.” He opened the door and followed her inside.
“Wow. This is nice.” She walked around his great room, checking everything out. Her hand trembled slightly as she picked up a picture of his entire family, grandkids and all. “Wow. You really do have a large family.”
“Cory.”
“Hmm?” She put the picture back on the mantel and whirled around.
“Relax. I’m not going to pounce on you.” He grabbed the remote control from the end table and turned on the TV. “Let’s see if we can find a movie to watch. How about some popcorn and a beer?”
“That would be great. I didn’t eat anything at the housewarming.” She continued to move around the room, studying everything. “Your apartment is so roomy.” She glanced at the vaulted ceiling. “You and Noah built this place?”
“A couple summers ago, yeah.” He put the popcorn in the microwave and hit start.
“You keep it really neat for a guy.”
He chuckled. “I cleaned before I left, and I’ve been gone for a week. It’s not usually this neat. Sorry to pop that bubble.”
“Oh, I didn’t really have a bubble. I mean…Gah! I guess I am a little nervous.” She accepted the beer he handed her.
“It’s just me, Cory.”
“There’s nothing ‘just me’ about you, Ted. There never has been as far as I’m concerned.”
“See? Perceptive as hell.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. “Have a seat and look for something we can watch. I’ll be back with popcorn in a minute.”
“Sounds good.”
Taking a pull from his beer, he waited for the microwave timer to go off. Cory was here, in his home, and she loved him. She loves me! A stupid grin broke free while he poured the popcorn into a large plastic bowl. “What are we watching?”
“How do you feel about old Westerns?”
“Love ’em.”
“That would explain why your TV is already on the Encore Western channel.” She grinned.
His pulse took off, and heat spiraled through him. “Here. Help yourself.” He handed her the popcorn as he took his place beside her.
“Thanks.” She took the bowl from him and placed it in her lap while kicking her shoes off. Tucking her legs up on the couch, she snuggled up against him, laying her head on his shoulder with a happy sigh.
At least he hoped it was happiness. Content to his very center, he put an arm around her and brushed the top of her head with his chin, savoring the way her silky hair felt against his skin. He could do this. He could make it through tonight without making moves on her. All he had to do was ignore her soft warmth tucked up against him, ignore the amazing way she smelled, the silky feel of her hair, the way her eyes had looked so deep into his when she told him she loved him. All he had to do was block out all her sexiness. Too bad he found every little thing about her sexy as hell.
He stifled the groan rising in his throat and shifted to relieve the tightness of his jeans over his raging erection. Taking another pull on his beer, he forced his attention front and center to the movie he’d seen a hundred times. She nuzzled his neck, and he almost leapt off the couch. The groan he’d tried to stifle made its escape.
“I love the way you smell, Ted, and it’s all you. Not the soap you use, or aftershave. Just you.” She took his earlobe between her teeth and gave it a tug. “Amazing man. My amazing man,” she whispered into his ear, running her tongue around the outside.
“Ohh, honey. You’re killing me.”
“Yeah?” She giggled. “You know what I’ve wanted to do since the first day we met?” Setting the bowl on the coffee table, she glanced at him over her shoulder.
“What’s that?” he rasped out, and cleared his throat.
She shifted around and climbed onto his lap to straddle him. “I’ve always wanted to run my hands over your naked chest, shoulders and those tasty biceps of yours.”
“Naked?” He swallowed. He was losing the battle, and his brain fogged with lust. “Are you sure about this, Cory, because I don’t want to—”
“I’m sure. Let me be in control. I just need to be in control.” She ran her fingers through his hair and planted her lips on his.
True to her word, she kept her eyes open. Who knew that would be so erotic? “You’ve got it.” Ted surrendered, body and soul. For Cory, he would give himself over completely. No matter how he looked at it, this was a win-win proposition. “I love you, Corinna Lynn Marcel.” He ran his hands up the back of her blouse. “Please be gentle with me.”
A Change of Heart (Perfect Indiana#3) Page 26
