“I deserve an explanation,” he demands.
Yes, you do. But I can’t give you one. Not right now.
If I attempt to speak, nothing but sobs will leave my mouth.
I take another small step forward; my feet are cold against the dark wooden floor.
“Don’t you at least want your phone?” he asks softly. I hear the smugness in his voice.
I contemplate leaving without my phone. He’ll hold onto it, wave it over my head any time he sees me. Drag this on longer than necessary, the taunting, the pain. I just need to run over, grab it, and leave. And I will not. Look. Back.
Intaking a breath sharply, I turn on my bare feet and pad over to him. Slowly. Cautiously. My eyes stare at the ground until I stop in front of his own bare feet.
“Thank you,” I say quietly, reaching for my phone. But he grabs my forearm and tugs. I look up into his woodland green eyes, and my heart and skin sizzle under his hand. My mind spins, and an emotion crosses his eyes, but they grow hard as he narrows them.
“Explanation. Now,” he growls.
I open my mouth, but no words—or sobs—leave it.
He grips a little tighter but quickly softens and even lets go, as if catching himself before he can go too far. “Please. I deserve to know why you did what you did. Why you would ruin what we had for money, of all things? Please, talk to me. Explain.” He sounds so disappointed and truly heartbroken, it’s taking everything in me to not reach up and hug him tightly, apologize, and plant kiss after kiss on his warm skin.
But a memory flashes behind my eyes; we’re at the boardwalk for our second date, seeing one of my favorite bands, on the cusp of entering the concert, when he professes his love for me for the first time. No one had ever told me they loved me. No guy as sweet and pure as him, anyway.
I remember kissing the tip of his nose, soaking in the words and how happy he made me feel, how happy he looked himself. Like saying those three words put him on top of the world.
And I remember the tears burning my eyes as I said them back, kissed him, played on the beach with him, all the while I was telling myself a lie that it could last forever. I wished it could, prayed that I could remain the girl he’d fallen for out of pure randomness, the girl he’d kiss a thousand times and never grow tired of my lips, the girl he’d buy a bouquet of churros for instead of roses, the girl he’d love now, tomorrow, and for the rest of his life.
But I am not that girl.
I hurt people, hurt him.
But I am trying so hard to be the girl who fixes what she breaks.
So, with a heart the size of the moon, I take a step away from my sun and whisper, “No,” before fleeing his home that I’ve already contaminated with my presence.
Chapter Four
Noah
I didn’t see her again after she left. For the millionth fucking time. You wanna hear something crazy? I actually wanted to chase after her, beg for answers even, but then common sense clicked in my head, and I remembered that she doesn’t deserve me pining for her any longer. Not after she ripped my freaking heart out of my chest and never bothered to put it back.
One text.
I was waiting for just one text message to give me a reasonable explanation for what she did. But I never got that message, and my soul withered away each passing day I anxiously checked my message inbox, only to find it empty like my heart. She drained my once full heart, refilling it with ice and simmering rage. And I wanted just one kind of consolation. I was praying for a fantasy that she hadn’t betrayed me and my trust, that she was the girl I fell so hard in love for.
But she wasn’t that girl.
And I wondered if she was ever that girl.
Anyway, I put her out of my mind and continued on like I had for the past four months. Wake up. Workout. Work alongside Ellis. Come home. Throw a party. Go to sleep drunk. Wake up—and do the same thing all over again.
And again.
And again.
And…again.
My body is growing tired from the constant liquor and sometimes drugs I consume, then push when working out right after, but I can’t stop the routine. It makes me feel numb after a while, and that is the whole point: to forget about her and act as the everyday college boy—getting wasted at night, bullshitting through the days. Even if I am losing a part of me with each shot, every mile I clock on the treadmill.
“Hey. You okay, man?” Ellis waves his pen in front of my eyes.
I snap out of my thoughts and push his pen away, smiling. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie and focus my attention on the man pitching us an idea to expand my father’s hotels to the Caribbean. I couldn’t care less, but I actually have to.
In the past, I told my father to fuck off, that I wasn’t going to take over his empire when I grew up. I turned down every business meeting to learn from him and focused on my art.
But ever since she left me four months ago, I said fuck it and decided to refocus my attention on his business. I thought to myself as I sat in front of an empty canvas like I had for weeks after waking up in the hospital: why the hell not? She took away the colors anyway.
The meeting ends about ten minutes later, and Ellis and I head to my father’s office to brief him on what we learned. A lot of the female employees stare at us as we roam through the hallways, each more in awe than the last. It’s funny; a guy puts on a suit and all of a sudden he isn’t a “boy” anymore, but a “sex god,” as one of the employees, Becca, claimed as she attempted to seduce me.
“Are you sure you were fine back there?” Ellis asks, blue eyes shining with worry. His gray suit jacket crinkles a little as he reaches for my father’s glass door and pushes it open.
“Yes, I’m fine, Mommy,” I tease, and his eyes roll.
While he is my partner in this learning thing his father and mine have arranged, he’s a friend who worries when I stumble into the building glasses stuffed over bloodshot eyes, feet stumbling over each other. I’m a mess most of the time, but he covers for me every time. And I’m damn grateful to have him as a friend.
“I think you had one too many juice boxes last night, baby boy,” he teases back, and I nudge into him, laughing out loud. But I stop the minute we walk inside and spot my father on the phone. He gestures for us to be quiet with a single hard glare, and I roll my eyes and plop into one of the uncomfortable leather chairs in front of his glass desk.
“Yes…yes…mhm…yes,” my father says, and I mock him, biting my lip and rocking my hips, imitating sex.
Ellis chuckles. My father throws an icy glare at him, and he tries to cover it up with a cough. I just burst out into laughter. I love pissing off my father, plus it sounds like he’s wrapping up anyway.
He hangs up the phone. “Drunk again, Noah?” he asks harshly. I shrug and cover my mouth with my fingers. I’m not drunk, just trying desperately not to think about a certain someone. He sighs and leans back, running a hand over his silver-woven brown hair. The stress of an unwilling son has curved lines behind his lips and on his cheeks.
“Drunk on life.” I raise my arms.
Ellis chuckles. “The meeting went well, sir. The Armstrongs want in on the expansion. They’d offer up a decent amount of lots. I suggested those by the beaches and high views, like maybe the mountains. I think the next step should be getting a few scouts out there looking for lots and scoping out the neighboring towns, see where tourists flock to and such.”
“Thank you, Ellis, for the debriefing. It means a lot that someone actually cares about this internship.” My father breaks out into a grin.
I roll my eyes. “Real subtle, Father.”
He turns to me, his smile fading. “But Ellis here is paying attention and even going as far as making steps to acquire lands to expand the hotels. And what have you done so far? Get drunk and bang girls that can barely spell ‘enterprise?’” His scoff cuts dully in my chest. “I thought having Ellis be your buddy as you learned about the business would help pull you out of your funk. But I g
uess that girl cut more deeply than I assumed, huh?”
I want to claw his eyes out.
He’s a real dick for mentioning her and the pain I’ve been suffering with for months.
“Actually, Father, I was thinking of promotion for the current hotels. Everyone knows about them being posh and boring as fuck, but if we have an online presence about the glamorous pools with bars and newly added slides, and spruce things up with dance parties on the beach regularly, more young people would go.”
“The Wells Hotels are for the prestige—” he begins to argue.
“And dying of old age,” I cut him off, and he glares. Ellis stills beside me, silently tugging at his collar, trying to tell me to shut up, but I’m already in too deep. “Look, spring break was last week, and we didn’t do that great. But if we start now with the social media promotions and get things livelier, a lot more people would stay there and throw money at us.”
“Us?” he scoffs.
It’s my time to glare. “Or you, you greedy bastard,” I mumble then continue. “As for the hotels in the Caribbean, I agree with Ellis. But maybe we should make them resorts instead of just hotels.” He opens his mouth to no doubt argue with me, but I cut him off. “We can work for summer break. Students often leave hotels to go on excursions instead of staying by the pool. They find parties far from the peaceful ocean to hold wet t-shirt contests and impregnate each other.”
“And what of our normal residents?” he asks.
I shrug. “Add shuffleboard and hold bingo contests far on the other side.”
“And when the kids leave? What then?” he inquires, scratching his growing beard. He’s liking my idea.
“Then you’ll still have the fun activities,” I say sarcastically. “I know you say traditional and simple is better, but the world today is only getting younger.” I pause and glance at Ellis, who is proudly smirking at me. “As for the scouting for the new hotels, I want in on it.”
His scoff sounds like a pit-bull’s bark. “So you can screw around instead of actually doing the job? Nice try, Noah, but no.” He turns to Ellis swiftly with a firm smile. “You will go and tag along with the scouts. Find out about the towns. Make me proud.”
My heart twists at his jab.
Make me proud, I repeat in my head with malice. I am his son, yet he’s turning to Ellis instead of me. I am trying here. I’m trying to move on, start over, free from Red’s constant tormenting. She may be putting me off with her recent confusing appearance, but I won’t let her ruin me. Not again. Not my future.
“We can go together,” I suggest. I throw a leg over my other knee, fold my interlocked fingers against my stomach. If I have to look the part, then I will get his approval and finally be on the right track to erasing her finally.
He doesn’t bother to hide his weariness. “What?”
“Yeah. He does the numbers, see if the Armstrong’s are asking for too much, and I’ll check out the land, the towns, the views, as Ellis suggested. I’ve probably already been there anyway, so I’d know the land well. It’s a win-win situation.”
His head nods slightly, and he presses a finger to his lips, thinking. I really do want to do this. Not just to prove to him that I can do this business thing, but to just get away for a while. Seeing Red a few days ago is already wreaking havoc on me. Old feelings I let scab over are loosening; I’m bleeding again. And I need to slap a Band-Aid over it before I bleed out.
“What about school?” he asks.
“I’ll make arrangements with my professors, get all the work done and make it up later, somehow.”
“And what about lacrosse?”
I clench my jaw. “I’ll talk to Coach, tell him he can personally grill me for missing practices when I get back.”
“It’d be a great learning experience for us both, sir,” Ellis adds.
Of course that seems to set my father’s mind. “Then you two will be flown out to one of the two islands next Friday,” he informs us.
“You won’t regret your decision, sir,” Ellis says and stands.
“Yeah, Father, you won’t—” I begin to say when he interrupts me.
“This isn’t a mini vacation for you to lounge around like you did after high school.” His tone is firm. “This is my business we’re talking about here. Don’t mess this up or you won’t get a dime from me to buy so much as a can of paint. You understand me?”
I grind my teeth together. “Of course, sir,” I spit out. He can be a real douche when it comes to him and his empire. If working for him is this stressful, I can only imagine what it’s like working alongside my mother. Just thinking it about it makes me shiver, literally.
His smile is smug before he presses a button on his desk. “Bring in the files from last week’s deals with the Madisons,” he orders. He has a new assistant already? His last one was a sweet girl named Nancy. She quit because she moved to Washington, but in my head she got fed up with my father’s barking orders and she just jetted far away.
“That went well,” Ellis whispers as we’re headed for the glass door.
“Oh, just splendid.” I grin sarcastically, and he laughs.
“What are you doing after this? A few guys wanna hit up the bar a few streets over; you can join if you want,” he offers.
“I’m down. Hell, I’d go right now.” I laugh. “You have no idea how much that man pushes you till you contemplate just jumping off a short cliff.”
“Yeah, try being around my dad,” he says, and I sense a sad bitterness that tells me to back off the subject. I don’t know much about their relationship, but something tells me mine with my father is peaches and cream compared to his.
“I hope you can hold your liquor better than when we were sixteen,” I say to lighten the mood. I’m facing him as I open the door, talking. “Do you remember that time when you drank only a few vodka sodas and—”
“I don’t need your shit—” I hear a girl hiss before we collide into each other.
“Sorry,” I quickly say, staring down at a head of blonde hair as she growls, “Fuck out of my way, idiot!”
I tense. I know that voice, that vocabulary, anywhere.
She freezes, as if reading my mind. Her head lifts, and my heart stutters, and I back up into Ellis, forgetting I’m supposed to be at least a little over her. I can only focus on the blue oceans swirling in her eyes.
“Red?”
Chapter Five
A million thoughts flood my head, fogging up my vocal cords. I’m so confused as to why she’s standing in front of me right now. And dressed in a pencil skirt and satin red blouse under a suit jacket. Her makeup is done lightly, and she’s wearing high heels. I am not looking at Red Sylvetti. This is some other lady that took over her body, because she would never dress like this or, what, work here? With my father. After what she did, how the hell did he give her this job as his assistant.
“Noah—” she starts, sounding apologetic.
“I need to talk to you,” I tell her in a firm tone. I need to sort out the jumbled mess in my head before it clutters and stays that way and begins to nag at me. Turning to a confused but respectfully silent Ellis, I say in a lighter voice, “I’ll see you later. All right?”
I see the whirlwind of worry and concern in his warm brown eyes, but he does me a favor and conceals it with a small smile. “Of course. See you around.” He nods respectfully to Red before walking down the hall. I watch his back until he disappears down one of the many hallways in this maze of a building.
She is uncharacteristically quiet as I grab her arm and drag us to a corner down an almost abandoned corridor. I’m not trying to be discreet, but I’d like to minimize the amount of people who witness my upcoming mental breakdown.
“What are you doing here?” I cross my arms and stare down at her. She refuses to meet my hard gaze, looking all around except for my eyes. I bend my knees, duck my head, and catch a sliver of a glance. “Answer me, Red. You’re in my territory. You can’t run away from me…no
t this time.” My voice is dark, not mine.
Her throat shifts as she gulps. “I…I work here.”
I frown. “That isn’t possible. My father wouldn’t hire you, not after…” I swallow my words thickly. “Why would you even want to work here? What? You betraying me, breaking me, wasn’t enough and you want to torture me some more? And what are you even doing back here?” The questions leave me before I can filter them, but she doesn’t deserve any filtering from me. I think she owes me the chance to be honest and hostile.
She inhales sharply and gulps. “Well, thank you for that round of lovely questions.” Her lips tip up into a smirk. There’s the Red I know. But it lasts for a second because she looks nervous again. “I randomly applied here; I didn’t know your father owned it, and it was the first thing that popped up when I was looking for work, and it pays well. I’m back because…because I thought it was time, and I never meant to hurt you, Noah. Truly.” Tears well in her eyes.
Too bad I don’t believe her.
“You have to resign,” I tell her flatly.
“W-what?” she stammers.
“You heard me,” I say. “You can’t work here, Red. I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing at, but I will not fall for it. I did the first time and look how that turned out.”
“Noah, I swear I am not playing any kind of game,” she quickly says. Which is complete and utter bullshit. A lie. She hurt me before, and now that she’s back, she’s trying to see how much further she can gut me. I will not allow it.
“I don’t believe you.” I close the small gap between us, ignore the heat licking my skin from being so close to her, and duck my head to whisper, “Either you leave altogether, or you stay far away from me.” I drop my gaze to her slightly trembling lips. The fiery girl I once knew has burned out, leaving this…girl behind. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…plot twist, there will be no fucking second time. Stay away, you hear me?”
Red: Fiery Finale (Spectrum Series Book 8) Page 3
