by Marie Force
Jenny’s composure began to waver at the finality she heard in his voice. “Please don’t decide that for me,” she said softly, leaning her forehead against his. “Please.”
“I need some time to think. What happened tonight… It was like a slap in the face and a wake-up call all at once, a reminder of where my obligations are and where they’ll be for the foreseeable future.”
“Have I ever given you any indication that I don’t understand where your obligations are?”
“No, you’ve been awesome and amazing and incredible about it.”
“I guess I fail to see the issue, but I’m not going to force myself on you.” She stood and immediately mourned the loss of his heat and his touch. “You know where I am if you figure out that it doesn’t have to be one or the other. It can be both, and we can make it work, but only if it’s what you want, too. I won’t bother you again.”
“Jenny.”
If only she couldn’t hear his anguish in the way he said her name.
“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “I hate myself for doing this to you, but it’s for the best. You’ll see that.”
Because there was simply no way to convey to him that she’d never see how this was for the best, she left him on the porch and went to her car, feeling like a robot.
Jenny drove home on autopilot and, except for the time she spent with her parents before they left, when she faked a cheerful veneer so they wouldn’t worry about her, she stayed there for the next week. Unfortunately, she was very well trained in hiding heartbreak from the people closest to her.
She refused to allow in the pain that hovered on the edge of her consciousness as she forced herself through a daily routine that consisted of sleep, enough food to stay alive and more sleep.
She dodged her friends, didn’t go to work at the store and didn’t take the calls from Paul that stopped after the third day. The only Martinez brother she wanted to hear from didn’t call.
Sydney came on the fifth day, marching in the mudroom door and up the stairs, calling out for Jenny on the way up. “Where are you?”
Jenny was on the sofa in the sitting room, still wearing the pajamas she’d changed into after her last shower two days ago. “Here.”
“What the hell is going on?” Syd asked, zeroing in on her on the sofa. “You’re not taking our calls. No one has seen you. What gives?”
“He broke up with me.”
“No… Why?”
Jenny moved her feet so Syd could sit on the other end of the sofa. “Because of his mother and his guilt and his sense of obligation that apparently doesn’t extend to me.”
“I don’t get it. He’s crazy about you. We all saw that. It’s all we’ve talked about since Saturday. Grace is trying to take credit for it. She thinks she introduced you to him at the Tiki. I didn’t tell her otherwise, but you’d be doing us all a favor if you could set her straight at some point.”
Jenny knew her friend was trying to cheer her up with the silly story. However, nothing could cheer her up except an indication from Alex that he’d changed his mind, but she’d given up on that happening a couple of days ago. Her eyes welled with tears, which was funny because she would’ve thought her tear ducts had run dry by now.
“God, I’m so sorry, Jenny. This totally blows.”
“It reminds me far too much of another time in my life. I never thought I’d feel that bad again, but this is…” There were no words for what this was. “I love him so much. I love everything about him. I even love his brother and his mother. I don’t care that she’s sick or that she might need me or he might need me. I don’t care about any of that.”
“And you told him so?”
Jenny nodded. “It didn’t matter.”
Sydney blew out a deep breath. “Well, if that’s the way he wants to be, you’ll have to show him it doesn’t matter.”
“And how do you propose I do that?”
“You need to get right back on the horse and start going out again. There’s no way we’re going to let you hole up here by yourself.”
“I don’t know, Syd. I’m not really in the mood to be out and about.”
“I know, honey, but I won’t let you go backward. Not after all the progress you’ve made. Why don’t you pack a bag and come spend a couple of days with us? We’ll keep you company and get you through this.”
“That’s very kind of you, but you and Luke have baby-making to do, and you don’t need me underfoot for that.”
“Oh, please,” Syd said with an inelegant snort. “He can wait a few more days.”
“The poor guy has waited long enough, and besides, I’m comfortable here. I promise I’ll call you every day, though, and I’ll be back out to play before too long.”
“All right, but I’m holding you to that.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
Jenny got up to walk her friend to the stairs and gave her a hug. “Thanks for coming to check on me.”
“It’s his loss. You know that, right?”
“Of course I do. I’m awesome.”
“Yes, you are, and you’re going to find an awesome guy who deserves you.”
Jenny didn’t tell her that she’d already found that guy. Too bad he didn’t think he deserved to be happy.
* * *
Jenny discovered sleep was hard to come by when your heart is broken. She found herself sleeping for hours at a time in the middle of the day and lying awake in the middle of the night. Ten days had passed since she’d last seen Alex, and she was beginning to tire of her own company.
She’d kept her word to Sydney and called every day and was considering Syd’s invitation to a cookout the next night, which Jenny suspected had been thrown together as an excuse to lure her out of hiding. She’d probably go. She couldn’t hide out forever, and she wasn’t about to let a man ruin a life that had been more than satisfying before she met him.
The sun was beginning to rise in the east when she finally dozed into restless sleep that was ended a short time later by a roar outside her window. Jenny’s eyes flew open as she tried to figure out where the hell she was and what the hell was making so much noise.
And then she knew. The beast. She bolted from her bed and ran to the window like she had weeks earlier, and there he was, riding on the back of the beast as if he hadn’t a care in the world, like he hadn’t shattered her. As usual, he was shirtless and too hot for his own good.
How dare he show up here at… 5:45 a.m. like he has a right to be here! He had no right after what he’d done to her! Enraged, she charged down two flights of stairs and out into the same pearly dawn light as the last time. Like before, she wore only a thin tank and skimpy underwear. And just like before, she went straight for the ripening tomatoes and started hurling them at him, one after the other. Three in a row hit him—one on his back, another on the side of the head and the third, square in the ass.
Her heart might be broken, but there was nothing wrong with her aim.
He killed the engine and slowly turned to her, grinning like a loon.
She threw another tomato that splatted against his chest.
He began walking toward her with the kind of determination that had her taking a step backward because she was out of ammo. “Still not a morning person, huh?”
“You’ve got some nerve showing up here.”
“Why? It’s my job to cut your grass, so I’m cutting your grass.”
“You could’ve sent someone else. You should’ve done that.”
“Maybe so.” His gaze took a slow perusing journey from the top of her head to her chest, where he lingered for a moment before he continued on down.
He may as well have touched her, because he set her on fire with those dark-chocolate eyes that seemed to see right through her.
“Don’t come any closer.” Jenny wasn’t sure if she was happy or sad when he did as he was told and stopped with six feet between them. “Why are you here?”
“I told you. I came to cu
t the grass.”
“Why you and not someone else?”
“Because I couldn’t take the chance that one of the other guys might see you in that getup. You know how jealous I am.”
“You have no right to say that to me. Not anymore.”
“Yes, I do,” he said coming toward her again. Even with tomato remnants in his hair and stuck to his chest, he’d never looked better to her.
Self-preservation had her backing up until her back was against the mudroom door and he was standing a foot from her. Looking up at him, trying to gauge his mood and intentions, she licked her lips and ignited a flashpoint of desire in his eyes.
His mouth was on hers before she had a chance to react. Unlike last time, he didn’t give her the chance to say no. He simply took what he seemed to want urgently, if his ravenous kiss was any indication.
Jenny flattened her hands against his chest and pushed him back. “No,” she said, sputtering with outrage and despair. “You can’t do this to me. I won’t allow it. You sent me away like I meant nothing to you.”
“You never meant nothing to me. You meant too much. That was the problem.”
“Well, great. That makes me feel so much better.”
“I love you desperately. I’ve missed you more than I’ve ever missed anyone in my entire life. Every day I had to force myself to stay away from you when everything in me yearned for you.”
Okay, she had to admit that was some pretty good groveling. And it was a tremendous comfort to know he’d been every bit as miserable.
He focused on something over her shoulder. “I was embarrassed. For the first time since my mother got sick, what she did… I was embarrassed by her.” He released a deep sigh. “And I was furious with her. I’d never felt either of those things in all the time we’ve been dealing with her illness, but it wasn’t about me anymore. It was about you and how it affected you. So I figured if I pushed you away, I could protect you from getting hurt.”
“Just FYI, that strategy totally backfired.”
“I know that now.”
“So what changed?”
“Nothing other than I’ve run out of willpower. I guess I’m a selfish bastard after all, because I don’t care anymore if I’m being fair to you by bringing you into my chaotic life. I don’t care if it’s fair that my mother basically called you a whore in front of your parents. I don’t care about anything other than finding a way to spend as much of every day with you as I possibly can.”
Jenny stared up at him, trying to decide if this was really happening or if she was having one of her vivid dreams.
And then he smiled, and she melted. “I’m just a guy, standing before a girl, asking her to love him.”
Jenny’s composure broke, and she stepped into his embrace. “She does love him every bit as desperately as he loves her.”
He hugged her so tightly she could barely breathe. “I’m so sorry I freaked out. Once the dust settled and I realized how stupid I’d been, I drove everyone crazy until Paul begged me to come cut the grass and fix this with you, if I still could. And he said to tell you he needs you at the store as badly as I need you in my bed.”
Jenny raised a brow. “Was that a direct quote?”
“I paraphrased just a tiny bit.”
“I had a feeling,” she said, laughing. “Are you going to freak out again the next time your mom says something to me that she shouldn’t?”
“I’ll try not to, but even if I do freak out, I won’t push you away again. I promise you that.”
“You broke my heart.”
Wincing, he said, “I know. I hate myself for that. It was the last thing you deserved after you took such a big chance on me. I never want to cause you another second of pain.”
“Then don’t. Let me take this walk with you and hold your hand along the way and help you deal with whatever comes up the same way you will for me.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple. I love you. You love me. What else matters?”
“Nothing, I suppose. There’s apt to be more hand-holding on your part than there will be on mine.”
“We have no way to know that, do we?”
“All I know is I’ll do whatever it takes to get you to forgive me.”
“I forgave you a while ago, actually. What’s not to love about a man who puts his ailing mother ahead of everything else in his life?”
“What’s not to love about a woman who puts up with a man who thinks he can survive without her when he should’ve known better?”
“She does sound pretty awesome. You should come inside and make love with her so she’ll believe you mean all these pretty words you’re throwing at her.”
“Oh, I mean them, and I’d like nothing more, but can I borrow her shower first? I had a little trouble with some tomatoes.”
Jenny laughed and then squealed when he picked her up and swung her around. She held on tight to him until he put her down, took her hand and led her inside to begin the rest of their lives together.
Epilogue
“So I have this big idea,” Alex said, much later that night. They’d spent the entire day in her bed making up for the time they’d lost when they were apart. Alex said he figured they’d be caught up in another couple of days. Then they could start over again.
Facedown on the bed, Jenny hugged a pillow and looked over at him. “What’s your big idea?”
“We own quite a bit of property behind the greenhouses. It occurred to me that we could build a place of our own back there so we’d be close to my mom but still have our own space.”
She couldn’t believe what he was saying. “You want to build a house.”
“For us. Yes. What do you think?”
“It’s a wonderful thought, and maybe by the time it’s built, I’ll be ready to move in with you.”
“Oh, well, um, see the rest of my plan would involve you moving in with me now so we can get busy making those babies you want so desperately. The babies you thought you’d never have.” With a teasing grin, he added, “You’re getting, you know…”
Her scowl discouraged him from finishing that thought. “Since I’ve only recently forgiven you for breaking my heart, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you infer that I’m old.”
“All kidding aside, do you want to wait another year to get started on what we both want?”
Jenny didn’t need long to consider her answer. “No, I guess I don’t.”
“Then it’s settled. You’ll move in with us, we’ll make babies and build a house.”
“I don’t want you to think I’m old-fashioned or anything, but if we’re going to actively try to make babies—”
“We’re going to very actively try,” he said, earning a pillow to the face.
“If we’re going to do that, shouldn’t we, you know, at least talk about…” The stinker watched her, enjoying her discomfort when he knew damned well what she was getting at. “Are you going to make me say it?”
“I think maybe I am,” he said with a smug grin.
“I’d want to be married if I’m going to have a baby.”
“Married to me, or will anyone do?”
“I’m beginning to think anyone will do.”
He pounced on her and rolled her so quickly she had no idea how he managed to end up on top of her, their bodies aligned. “I’m going to forget that you said that.”
Jenny reached up to place her hands on his face, drawing him into her kiss. “No one else will do.”
“Then I guess you have no choice but to marry me.”
“And won’t that go down as the most romantic proposal in history?”
“No, but I hope this one will.” He slid off the bed, dropping to his knees before her. Taking her hand, he brought it to his lips and bent his head over their joined hands for a second, seeming to gather his composure.
Jenny had to remind herself to breathe while she waited to hear what he would say.
“I want you t
o know I think you’re probably the best person I’ve ever known. You have the face of an angel, the heart of a warrior and the backbone needed to put up with me. I would like for you, Jenny Wilks, to come along with me the rest of the way, to build an amazing future together that also pays homage to the past you shared with Toby. I want to bring him with us, too, because he’s part of you and thus part of who we are together. I love you, I need you, I believe I’ve proven I want you, but I’m available to provide additional evidence upon request.”
Jenny laughed as she wiped away tears.
“I know I’m asking a lot of you by bringing you into my family at this particular juncture, but I’m hoping you’ll be by my side wherever this journey we’re on with my mom takes us.”
“Alex…”
“Wait, I’m not finished. This is the important part. I want us to have a family together and watch them grow up and then get really, really old together, but still have a lot of sex. I’ll take the little blue pills if necessary, but let’s hope to God it doesn’t come to that.”
She laughed even harder. “You’ve landed your spot in the history books as the first guy to bring erectile dysfunction into a marriage proposal.”
“I believe these things should never be left to chance,” he said gravely.
“Are you done now?”
“I think I might be.”
She leaned forward to give him a lingering kiss. “You had me at the best person you know, and you sealed the deal with Toby.”
“So, wait… I could’ve skipped the rest of it?”
“Not on your life, buster. That would’ve been the most romantically hilarious proposal in recorded history, except for one small detail.”
“What small detail?”
She rolled her eyes. “I can tell you’ve never done this before.”
“You’re damned right I’ve never done this before, and I can’t believe you’re actually critiquing me.”
His righteous indignation sent her into hysterical laughter. “You never asked the question, dummy!”
“Yes, I did.”
“No, you didn’t. I would’ve remembered that.”
