by Eden Finley
“Not sitting together. That’s not a good sign.” He refused to look at me.
“I want to make sure I get everything I want to say out, and sitting on the couch with you will probably prevent that from happening.”
He somewhat relaxed and nodded. Raising his cup to his mouth, he took a sip of his coffee with an adorable half-smile. I inwardly groaned. He wasn’t going to make this easy on me.
“So,” I started, “I guess I should apologise for running off the way I did. There were a couple of reasons for doing it.”
“And they were?”
“When I’d found out you lied about Georgie—”
“I didn’t lie. I’ve never lied to you.”
“Okay, but from my perspective, you have to see where I jumped to that conclusion, right?”
“Yes, but you should’ve come to me and asked me what was going on.”
“Okay, what if Danny was here right now and he told you that we slept together while you were in Sydney?”
His eyes snapped to mine, searching for any truth. “Did you?”
“No. But your reaction just now? You look pissed.”
“I understand why you jumped to the wrong conclusion, and I understand you were reluctant to believe anything I said after that fact. But you didn’t even give me a chance to explain. You didn’t come to me. You ran away.”
“Like you did four years ago when you thought I stood you up? Only, you never came back for me unlike I’m doing right now.”
“What?”
“I want to be with you, Ryan. But in order to do that, I had to sort some shit out in my head. I was basically ready to hear you out when you turned up after the photoshoot, but Paige and Cole said I was too emotional to really handle it. I agreed because I was so exhausted from it all. And maybe a little bit drunk.”
He smiled.
“Once I had one doubt in my head, I couldn’t stop it.”
“Why couldn’t you have told me that? I’ve been sitting at home wondering if we even had a future. I would’ve given you the space you needed, but leaving without a word? I’ve been going out of my mind thinking I’d lost you.”
“I wasn’t entirely sure I could sort out the crap running through my head. When Cole told me the story of what truly happened, I realised we were never going to work out if I didn’t trust you. It wasn’t only the Georgie thing but the other models too. Overhearing those girls in the bathroom made all kinds of insecurities flood in. I wasn’t pretty enough to be with you, I wasn’t tall enough. They were all stupid insecurities that, ordinarily, I never would’ve let get to me, but then seeing them practically naked and all over you, and Georgie admitting she had sex with you—whether it happened or not—I freaked out. And when I found out the truth, I realised if I didn’t deal with my own shit, there was no way I was ever going trust you or believe you. Because my first reaction to hearing all that was to not have your back.”
“So, did you get it sorted?” He wrung his hands together, and I could tell he was nervous.
“I want to trust you and believe you. I want to be with you and give us a real shot. But … you have to be patient with me when it comes to that stuff. As it turns out, I’m pretty screwed up.”
“That probably has something to do with the fact the guy who took your virginity was an asshole.”
I laughed. “Maybe. I think we broke each other that night.”
“As long as you’re mine, I don’t care if I’m broken.”
“You will if I become one of those crazy women who tracks the GPS on your phone and hacks in to check your messages and email every day.”
“I have nothing to hide, so I wouldn’t care if you did that.”
“I don’t want to be that girl, though.”
“So, you believe me when I say nothing happened between me and Georgie?”
I nodded. “Especially after she contacted me on Facebook and apologised profusely for the mistake. She explained everything.”
“I wish you could’ve believed it because I said it was true, but I knew going into this relationship that we had trust issues because of the stupid things I did four years ago. You’re going to have to learn that my past is my past, and I can’t change it, no matter how much I wish I could. I’ve already left it behind me. You’ll have to trust me unconditionally one day for us to work, but until that day, I don’t mind having to prove myself to earn it.”
He took his wallet out of his back pocket and handed me a flash drive that was tucked inside.
“What is this?” I asked.
“Georgie felt really bad about what happened. It turns out she has a friend on the police force. She got him to say they were investigating a possible rape and pulled security footage from the hotel the night I dropped Georgie off at her room.”
“Isn’t that illegal?”
He held up his finger and thumb and pinched them together. “Little bit. The cop apparently told Georgie he couldn’t get the footage if they asked for a warrant, but the hotel handed it over without any questions.”
“Why didn’t Georgie send me this herself?”
He didn’t look me in the eye when he answered. “Because I’ll admit, some of it doesn’t look good. She said it was up to me whether or not I showed you. But I don’t want to hide anything from you. It’s the only way you’re ever going to trust me fully.”
I looked down at the flash drive in my hand and then over at my laptop on my dining table.
“Go. You know you want to,” he said. He remained seated.
“You’re not going to watch it?”
“I’ve seen it.”
When I put it in the USB drive in my laptop, it booted up immediately. The play button was right in front of me. All I had to do was push it.
With a deep breath, I pressed play and then held the air in my lungs for as long as possible.
On screen, a very drunk Georgie had her arms around Ryan as they stumbled down the hallway. She fumbled with her key card for the door, and when she finally got it open, she turned to Ryan and practically beckoned him in. He stood motionless for a second but then shook his head slightly and followed her in.
My stomach dropped. “I don’t know if I really want to watch this after all.”
“Just watch it to the end, babe. Please.”
It was only thirty seconds according to the timestamp, but it felt like ten minutes until Ryan came back out of that hotel room.
He never lied. I mean, I believed he never lied, but having definitive proof only cemented it. I could trust this man. I just had to learn how to let myself.
“Thirty seconds?” I asked.
“Thirty-three point oh-eight seconds. Even our sloppy first time on the beach lasted longer than that.”
He wasn’t looking at me and remained facing forwards on the couch.
“Were you going to sleep with her but then she passed out? Is that why you’re sitting guiltily over there?”
He turned to face me but remained on the couch. “No. And that’s why Georgie thought I might not want to show you the footage. Because it looked like I might’ve. But I promise you, the only reason I hesitated at the door was you. Even though we weren’t together yet, I didn’t want to ruin any chance I had. I knew you wouldn’t have liked me being in that situation in the first place, and I was scolding myself for not putting Georgie in a cab earlier or leaving the party before it got to that point. I had no intention of staying with her. I just wanted to make sure she got to bed safely. Which now, totally sounds like a shitty excuse guys use when they ‘accidentally’ cheat on someone, but it’s true.”
“I believe you.”
“You do?”
I nodded.
“Okay … so I only have one more question then. Why the fuck am I on this couch alone right now?”
I smiled and rushed to tackle him.
My kisses were all tongue and filled with unrestrained passion. I’d been gone for twelve days, yet my body felt as if it’d been without his touc
h for an eternity.
He started grinding beneath me.
I groaned. “I really want this reunion fuck, but—”
“Now who’s the charming one?” he asked sarcastically.
I ignored him and kept talking as if he didn’t interrupt me. “I’m going to need a shower. I still have plane on me.”
“Wait, when did you get back?”
“Like three … four hours ago.”
“And the first thing you did was find me?”
“I’ve had long enough without you.”
He peppered me with kisses in between his words. “Then maybe”—kiss—“you shouldn’t have ran away.” Kiss. “You know you can’t do that every time we fight, right?” Kiss. “Because I’m not sure your bank account could handle regular trips to England.” Kiss.
“How often do you plan on fucking up?”
His smile was blinding. “I’m claiming this fuckup was on you. But at least now we’re even. Let’s go take that shower.”
“Together?”
“Save water, shower together, remember? Also, we haven’t had wet sex in ages and it’s tradition.” He climbed off the couch and started for the bathroom when he turned and cocked his head to the side. “When do you get your law degree again?”
“End of the year. Why?”
“I’ve been talking with my soon-to-be new partner at the modelling agency—”
“Partner?”
“See what happens when you run away? You miss all my big news. I’m hanging up my underwear for good.”
I laughed.
“I’m buying out my boss and becoming management material.”
I was happy for him, sure, but also a little paranoid.
“What’s wrong? I thought you’d be happy about this? No more reasons for models to be hanging off me.”
“I am. But … did you do this for me? Because I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t want to get in between you and your job. I just have to learn to deal with it in my own way.”
He pulled me close and cupped the back of my head. “This has been in the works for years. The plan was to buy her out completely, but I can only afford fifty percent right now. In the future, who knows. In the meantime, we have an entry-level position in our legal department—drawing up contracts and stuff. You got plans when you graduate?”
My heart leaped into my throat. “How do you know I don’t want to be a litigation lawyer?”
He shrugged. “You can be whatever you want to be, but the idea of having you by my side every day is too hard to resist.”
“What if we fight? I don’t know how we’d go living together and working together.”
“Living together?” His eyebrows shot up.
I waved my hand dismissively. “Whatevs. You know it’s inevitable.”
He grinned. “Whatevs? Really? In a grownup conversation?”
“Totes.”
Shaking his head, he laughed. “I love you so friggin’ much.”
I didn’t say it back because I didn’t need to. I took him into my shower and showed him how much I loved him instead.
EPILOGUE
- HUNTER -
SIX MONTHS LATER
“It hurts,” Sara complained.
“I know. You just have to push through the pain.” I had no sympathy. I’d already endured my share.
“Did you seriously just say that to me? I don’t remember it hurting this much last time.”
“Hey, at least Ryan is shorter than divlji.”
We were adding to our tattoos. She was getting my name curved around the D of divlji. I got Sara wrapped in the curve of the S of selvaġġi.
Sara said the night we met that it was five years too soon to tattoo our names on each other, so I told her to put her money where her mouth was. I didn’t think she’d go through with it, but there we were, branding each other. And I couldn’t have been happier.
Some people thought our relationship was intense for the short amount of time we’d been together. This mainly came from Paige in the form of a joke, but considering she practically broke out in hives if Cole mentioned any form of commitment, I wasn’t too worried about her opinion. I knew Sara’s parents were a bit cautious too, though. Especially after Sara’s escape to England for twelve days—which I later found out they paid for. I couldn’t be mad at them for having reservations. It only made sense they wanted to protect their daughter from getting hurt. Of course, her dad still claimed he was waiting for his moment where he got to punch me back. If Sara hadn’t stopped him, I was sure he would’ve done it after the England incident. Just as I had to explain to my parents about what happened when Sara and I first met, Sara had to fess up to hers about her little freak out and why she really ran away to London.
I couldn’t deny Sara and I had a patchy start, but instead of running away from our problems, we now faced them together. It was working so far, and I fell harder for her every damn day.
My ringtone started up and I had to let go of Sara’s hand to answer.
“Hey, Spence, what’s up?”
“I-I’m a freaking dad.”
“Holy crap, dude. Congrats.”
“Elliot was born this morning. They’re allowing visitors if you want to come by.”
“Of course.”
I heard “Stop telling people to come see me, dickhead. I look horrible” in the background.
“Was that—”
“My baby mumma? Yup.”
“And stop calling me that!”
“How’s Reece doing, anyway?”
There were some shuffling noises as if he was moving around, and then he whispered, “Who the fuck knows. Don’t tell her I told you this, but she was awesome in there. Seriously, women need so much damn respect for giving birth.”
I laughed. “So I’ve heard.”
“But now she’s all hormonal again. Does it ever end?”
I laughed harder. “I’ve heard it doesn’t.”
“Damn. So can we expect you and Sara?”
“Yup. We’ll finish up here and come by straight after.”
He rattled off the hospital wing and bed number and ended the phone call with “See you soon. I’m a freaking dad.”
Ending the phone call with a smile, I was hit with a surprise wave of envy. I forced myself to push it aside. It was way too soon to be talking babies. I hadn’t even proposed yet. Although, I did have the ring.
I didn’t care it’d been less than a year together. I’d never been more sure of anything in my life.
We were already talking about moving in together. I hadn’t been home in months anyway other than to grab more clothes.
The plan was to search for a bigger place as soon as we could, but three-quarters of my savings had gone to buying my share of the agency, and Sara had only just graduated uni and started working for me. With the two incomes, we figured we could afford to buy a place in a few months.
It was all still new, but working and practically living together was running smoothly. We didn’t actually see each other that often at work because we were in different departments, so it was a good balance. We got all our office sex over with in the first week so we could get it out of our system and focus on being professional. Although, I still sometimes sneaked into her office and climbed under her desk for a taste. I couldn’t help myself.
“All done,” the tattooist said.
“Great. We have a baby to go meet.”
“Spence had the baby?” Sara asked. She’d gotten to know Spence pretty well over the last few months from going to our Friday pub night—something he was probably going to have to stop coming to now he had a kid.
“Well, technically, Reece did, but yeah.”
***
At the hospital, we were arriving as our friends Pip and Gage were leaving. I talked to them for a few minutes while Sara went on ahead, and when I reached the room, Sara was talking to Reece. Surprisingly, it looked like they were getting along. Even more surprising, Sara was holding baby Ell
iot in her arms.
“He looks good on you,” I said. And he really did. The pang of envy came back.
She tore her eyes away from the baby and met my gaze. “I want one.”
“Whoa,” Spence said. “Bit soon, don’t ya think?”
I scoffed. “Says the guy who had a baby with a one-night stand.”
“Ryan Hunter Erikson, you are so lucky I don’t have a spare pillow to throw at you right now,” Reece said.
I shrugged. “It’s true though. Unless you two are suddenly in a relationship I’m unaware of?”
Reece and Spence looked at each other with weird expressions before averting their gaze. Instead of calling them out on it, I inwardly laughed at the thought of them together.
“Besides, you’re forgetting the fact that six hours after Ryan and I met, we were getting matching tattoos. We don’t know the meaning of too soon,” Sara said to Spence.
I turned to Sara. “You really want one?”
She looked at the baby and then back at me. “We could just take this one,” she whispered. “It comes premade and it won’t wreck my hoo-ha.”
“Spence, take the baby back,” Reece said with a laugh. I was surprised to find her joking with Sara.
“Am I missing something here?” I asked. “When did you two become friends?”
Sara and Reece looked at each other with a smile and then back at me. “I’ll tell you another time,” Sara said. “Do you want to hold him?”
“Am I going to break him?” I asked, only half-joking.
Sara came over and placed baby Elliot in my arms and showed me how to hold him and support his head properly.
“I think you’d make an excellent dad,” she said quietly.
“I’m serious,” I said, “If you want one, I’ll take you home right now and get started on making you a whole soccer team of them.”
Her eyes bugged out of her head. “Soccer team? How about two or three?”
“Two or three works for me.”
“You should probably hurry up and put that ring you bought to good use, too.”
The only thing that kept me standing was the fact I was holding a very fragile baby who would break if I fell over. “You know about the ring?”