Wolf Creek’s resident wallflower had emerged from her chrysalis like an exotic butterfly came out of its cocoon in the spring. She looked stunning. There was no other word to describe her.
While Colt was standing across the way staring at her, a smiling Nate Willett sauntered over and struck up a conversation. The innocent gesture of interest roused Colt from his shock. He pushed away from the tree he was leaning against and headed in her direction. Before he could reach her, Lawrence Tilley had joined Nate.
Colt clenched his hands at his sides. He’d like nothing more than to plant his fist in both their smiling faces. Allie was smiling, too, though he thought she looked as flustered by the sudden and unexpected attention as he felt about his sudden and unexpected surge of jealousy that had taken control of him.
He approached the threesome with what he hoped was a casual smile, but his “sheriff’s scowl” as he looked over the two potential suitors could surely only be described as “intimidating.”
“Hi, there,” he said, stopping a few feet behind Allison.
Startled, she jumped, then took a breath and turned to look up at him, a hand pressed against her chest. Her brown eyes looked guarded behind the spectacles perched on her nose.
“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he told her.
“You didn’t.” A quick smile flashed. “Well, maybe a little.”
They stared at each other a few seconds. She seemed to be trying to gauge his feelings while he spent the brief moment examining the honey-colored freckles scattered over her face. He’d count them one day, he vowed. Count them and kiss every last one. They were adorable, as were the glasses.
Suddenly anxious to be alone with her, he dragged his gaze from her face to her two young admirers, who were shifting from foot to foot. “I hope you gentlemen will forgive me for taking Miss Grainger away, but she promised me a walk.”
The young men made hasty retreats with promises to see her soon. Colt wasn’t sure what he expected from her after the way they’d parted the last time they were together, but to his surprise, she said, “You fibbed. I didn’t promise you a walk.”
“I most certainly did,” he said, offering her his arm. “Forgive me?”
Still holding his gaze, she wrapped her fingers around his biceps, and he guided her away from the cluster of people milling around the tables to a place near the creek. He stopped beneath the shade of an ancient oak, and they both spoke at once.
“Colt, I’m not—”
“Allie, you look—”
They both stopped and Colt hooked his thumbs through his belt loops. “Ladies first.”
She dropped her gaze to the ground for a moment, and then, as if she’d somehow fortified herself, she looked up at him and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I...am not in the habit of allowing men to kiss me.”
It occurred to him that even though she was on the downhill side of twenty, a spinster in anyone’s book, she was very innocent.
“I never supposed that you were.”
“You, uh...took me by surprise.”
A soft laugh rumbled from him. “It took me by surprise, too.”
“It did?” she asked, wide-eyed.
“Well, I certainly didn’t plan to kiss you, and I definitely never expected either of us to like it as much as we did. And you did like it, Allie, so don’t try to deny it.”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head, “I won’t.” She looked none too happy about the admission. “As I said before, I don’t think we should allow it to happen again.”
Colt knew she’d been bolstered by indignation the day of the kiss, but now it seemed to him that her crossness had dissolved, leaving her feeling uncertain, with maybe a little guilt thrown in for good measure. He knew she was dealing with embarrassment, too, which any decent, inexperienced woman no doubt would. Still, he felt compelled to probe deeper into her feelings.
“Why not?”
“Because...well, because I’m not that kind of woman, and...and it could create a great deal of awkwardness while we’re trying to help the children.”
He nodded. He was right on the money about her mind-set. “And what kind of woman might that be?” he asked, eager to understand more of how she thought.
She looked up at him. Every freckle stood out against the paleness of her cheek. It was all he could do to keep from reaching out and trailing his finger along the delicate line of her jaw. He didn’t want her distressed. Ever. By anything.
“Well,” she said, appearing to give it serious thought, “I’m not the kind of woman who gives away her kisses willy-nilly to men who want nothing more than to toy with her affections.”
“And you think that’s what I’m doing?” he queried. “Toying with your affections?”
“I can’t imagine it being anything else,” she told him, looking bewildered by his question.
He did touch her then. He reached out and gave the tip of her nose a light tap, a rueful half smile hiking a corner of his mouth. “I admit that I’m as confused as you are, Allie, but you can be sure of one thing. I’m not playing with your affections, and I’m not the kind of man who leads women on.”
“You don’t really even like me very much.”
“Not true.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned at her. “I admit that I’ve been pretty mad at you from time to time,” he corrected. “As you have me.”
“I’m not stupid, Colt,” she said, doing her best to whip up a little indignation. “I look in the mirror every day. I know I’m not the kind of woman who would interest a man like you.”
He frowned. “You keep talking about the kind of man I am. What kind of man is that, Allie?”
“You’re well thought of in the community...”
“That’s nice to know. So are you.”
“...and excellent at your job,” she continued, as if he hadn’t interrupted.
“I try,” he said with a lift of his shoulders. “So do you.”
“You’re honest and decent and moral....”
“Hmm. I’m thinking that I sound like a pretty good guy. Not the kind to toy with a woman’s feelings,” he told her. “And by the way, you’re all of those things, too. Anything else?”
She gave a little huff and lowered her gaze. “If you must know, you’re very...handsome.”
“Really?” he said, pleased. “You think so?”
“You must know I do.” Her voice was the merest thread of sound.
“Must I?” Colt reached out and lifted her chin, forcing her to face him. “How would I know that?” he asked in a gentle voice.
Her eyelashes fluttered down to hide her eyes. “Well, because I...I kissed you.”
“Yes, you did.”
Not wanting to tease her anymore, he released her and said, “So that’s how you see me and the kind of man you think I am—your opinion of me.”
“And I daresay it’s everyone else’s, too.”
“Do you know how I see myself?”
Allison shook her head.
“I see a man who, for too many years, has let grief and anger rob him of a lot of the good things life has to offer. A man who’s put his heartache and his job before his children, who hasn’t been a very good father in the ways that really matter.
“But I’m a man who thinks things through, and I like to think I can weigh the gold from the dross. I believe I know the real thing when I see it.”
“I don’t understand.”
He offered her a wry smile. “I’m not a man with a silver tongue, Allie. What I’m trying to say is that I’ve been thinking for a while that I’m ready to try love and marriage again.” He sucked in a deep lungful of air and plunged, his tentative plan going out the window. “What I’m trying to say is that I want to try it with you.”
Chapter Elev
en
“I beg your pardon.”
Allison’s head whirled in shock and disbelief. Was Colt Garrett, one of the most eligible men in town, saying that he wanted to marry her? Needing to make certain she’d heard him right, she asked, “You want to...try it with me? Marriage?”
“Yes. I know this is coming out of the blue and that we haven’t known each other very long. Not in any way that matters. For right now, let’s just say that I’d like to court you.”
Allison twined her fingers together. Her stomach churned in panic and distress, though she couldn’t imagine why. Wasn’t this every young woman’s dream? Her dream? Images of making a life with Colt and the children swirled through her mind with dizzying speed. The children! Sudden understanding slammed into her.
Tears shimmered in her eyes as she looked up at him. “Why did you have to go and ruin everything?” she cried in a soft voice.
Colt looked as if she’d slapped him, yet his mouth curved in a bitter parody of a smile. “Does that mean no?” he said with a miserable attempt at levity.
Allison squared her shoulders and said in a prim tone, “It means that while I’m very flattered by your proposal, as any woman in Wolf Creek would be, it isn’t necessary to offer courtship or marriage to assure that I’ll continue to help you with the children. I’ve grown to care for them very much. I would never abandon them—or you—that way.”
“Is that what you think this is about?” he said in a low, hard voice. “Cilla and Brady?”
“Isn’t it?”
Colt planted his hands on his hips and stared at the ground. When he lifted his head to look at her, all of his uncertainty and confusion was mirrored in his eyes. He reached out and took her cold hands in his.
“I’d be lying if I said that their feelings and well-being weren’t a part of my decision. Of course they are. I owe it to them to bring a woman into our home that will care for them in all the ways their real mother would. You’ve already proved that you’re that woman. In fact, they’ve already given us their blessing. What you’ve managed to do for them in such a short time is nothing short of a miracle, and I’ll always be grateful to you, but it’s far more than that, Allie.
“You present a portrait of upstanding refinement to the world, which you definitely are,” he hastened to clarify, “but I’ve seen glimpses of a side of you I feel few people have seen, maybe even a side you feel you have to keep hidden beneath that straitlaced facade.”
Allison listened, a bit taken aback that she’d revealed so much of herself to him in such a short time, and more surprised that he’d been able to look beyond the image she presented and recognize the person she was and, more important, the person she longed to be.
“I have great admiration for you,” he continued. “I like that you’re levelheaded and unwavering when you set your mind to something.” He smiled, and Allison’s heart skipped a beat. “I like that you take off your shoes to play croquet. And I like your kisses a lot.”
She pressed her lips together, and hot color stained her cheeks. “Those are certainly good things, but I want more from marriage, Colt,” she said, her voice husky and her heart in her eyes. “I don’t want liking and admiration. I want love and...and passion,” she said, daring to toss out a word few women would admit to want...or feel, much less express to a man.
“I can give you that.”
Her brief mocking laugh wasn’t far from a sob. “Oh, so you’ve fallen in love with me in a couple of weeks, is that it?”
“It’s incredible, maybe, but yes.” He let go of her hands and stuck his thumbs in his belt loops in an achingly familiar gesture. “I’m not sure when or how it happened, but it has.”
Allison had no ready comeback for that. She wanted to believe him, wanted to embrace everything he was offering, but her fearful heart whispered that there was no way a man like Colt could have fallen for someone like her. It insisted that when he tired of the novelty of her naïveté—which she told herself must have been the cause of his proclaimed infatuation—he would leave her for someone prettier and not so dull.
Just as Jesse had.
“You feel something for me, too, Allie,” Colt said, taking a step closer. “I know you do. You feel that spark when I kiss you.”
“Yes,” she admitted, rubbing at the sudden ache in her temples. It was senseless to deny it. “So you’re asking me to believe that in a very short time, you’ve come to love me and you’re convinced that I’m everything you want in a wife?” she asked.
“Yes.”
His answer was quick, his conviction unmistakable. She should have shouted with joy. Wished she could have. She tried to swallow, and it felt as if her throat were closing. “Well, as saddened as I am to say it, you aren’t everything I’m looking for.”
Colt actually reeled back a step. All the color drained from his face, and the earnest entreaty in his eyes changed to bitter disappointment. Then, in typical male fashion, he hid his pain behind a cold implacable mask.
The ache in Allison’s heart grew to unbearable proportions. She actually pressed a hand to her chest to try to contain the hurt.
“Forgive me for troubling you,” he said. Without another word, he turned to walk away.
She took a tentative step toward him, reached out and caught his sleeve.
“Colt, wait!”
“For what, Allison?” he retorted, tossing her an angry look over his shoulder. “For you to stomp on my heart with those pretty little shoes of yours?”
“I’d like to ask you a question.”
His wide shoulders lifted in a shrug that granted compliance while giving the impression that he couldn’t care less. “Ask away.”
“If I were to agree to become your wife, would you make your peace with God and try to live for Him?” She held her breath as he stared down at her. The muscle in his cheek knotted; the hands at his sides fisted.
“Conditions, Allison? Or is it an ultimatum?”
He was the same furious stranger she’d confronted in his office that fateful day she’d told him about his children’s abominable behavior.
She hadn’t thought of it in that way, but she supposed he was right. “Marriage is a goal of most women, Colt. I want to get married someday, and I believe I will. But my ultimate goal is Heaven, so yes, I guess you can say I have conditions.”
She held her breath, waiting for his answer. He gave a single harsh nod. “Fine. Yes. If going to church with you and the kids will make you all happy, I’ll go.”
She saw how much it cost him to agree. “I don’t want you to go to church.”
“But you just said—”
“No,” she interrupted. “I said I wanted you to make your peace with God and be our example.”
“What’s the difference?” he asked.
“If you have to ask, then you don’t understand at all. My answer is no, Colt. I won’t marry you, and I don’t want you to call on me. The children are still welcome anytime.”
She was trembling like a leaf as she spoke the words that would send him away forever. Instead of responding, he turned and walked away. Allison watched him go, her indrawn breath whooshing from her in a surge of regret and soul-deep pain. The mockingbird on the limb high above her sang a cheerful song, scoffing at her misery.
* * *
Brady and Cilla asked Allison to join them in the cakewalk. She made the effort for their sakes, but it was plain that both children knew something was up. Though she scanned the boisterous happy crowd at regular intervals, Colt seemed to have disappeared.
After more than an hour of suffering, Allison declared she had a headache and told Ellie that she was going home. She must have looked terrible because Win, who was standing nearby, surprised her by offering to drive her in his rented buggy. Even more surprising, he asked Ellie to accompany them, an
d she accepted. He looked pleased, but Allison knew Ellie only agreed out of sisterly concern.
“What on earth is wrong with you?” Ellie asked, as soon as they were seated and Win pulled out onto the road. “This should be a wonderful evening for you. You look astonishing. You’re the topic of several conversations.”
Ellie was right. This should have been a remarkable time, for many reasons. Thanks to Blythe and Libby Granville, Allison looked her best and she knew it—freckles, glasses and all. Compliments had flown all evening. She had received a proposal of marriage from a man she loved....
The sob she’d been fighting to keep back worked its way up from the depths of her heart, and she buried her face in her hands to try to hide the ugliness of the grief that welled up inside her and spilled down her cheeks.
She didn’t notice the worried glance Ellie and Win exchanged, but she did feel her sister’s arm go around her and pull her close. Without a word, she pressed a handkerchief into Allison’s hand. It smelled of some spicy scent that hinted of faraway exotic places. Win’s handkerchief. The part of Allison’s brain that wasn’t consumed by her misery was aware that Win was no doubt regretting that he’d offered his services.
“What’s wrong?” Ellie asked.
“Colt said he wants to marry me.”
Ellie’s body stilled. For a moment she didn’t even breathe. “So why are you crying?”
“I told him no.”
“Why would you do something like that?” Ellie chided. “I know you care for him and his children. I can see it on your face every time you talk about them.”
“I do love him, Ellie, but I don’t believe for a moment that he really loves me.”
“Why would he lie about something like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Allison said in a jaunty tone that reeked of sarcasm. “Because he wants a wife, and he needs someone who can manage his kids. That would be me. In fact, he said they’d already given their blessing.”
Wolf Creek Father (Wolf Creek, Arkansas Book 3) Page 17
