by Claire Adams
She shook her head as tears began to fall down her cheeks.
“Do you know who and where you are?” I needed to make sure this had nothing to do with dementia.
“I’m Helen and I’ve fallen in my room.”
I was happy with her response and once I finished my assessment of her and was sure she had no injuries, I helped her get up. I asked her if anything hurt while she was standing and when she said no, I had her sit down on her bed.
I went into the kitchen and fetched her a glass of water. I also grabbed her two Tylenol pills just in case she was in minor pain. I went back into her room and sat on the bed with her. I asked her if she remembered anything about the fall. Once again, I was checking to make sure it had nothing to do with her memory.
“I remember everything. I tripped over a slipper that was sticking out. And when I fell, I just couldn’t get back up.” She was still crying some, but paused to take the Tylenol and drink her glass of water.
“Do you know how long you were on the floor for?” I asked her. I was not only concerned about her well-being but also because Emma was there and she could have gotten hurt while Helen was on the floor.
“About 15 minutes, I believe. It wasn’t too long before you got here,” she said.
Relief flooded me. I was glad to hear that it had just happened and Emma hadn’t been unsupervised for very long.
“I’m so sorry, Eric.” She said to me, patting her hand on my arm.
I turned to face her, “It’s not your fault, Helen.”
But even though she was okay and it was because she tripped, and she hadn’t been laying there for very long, I still knew that I could not risk leaving Emma with her any longer. She was getting far too old. I felt sick to my stomach. Because something could happen to Helen at any moment and if that happened, Emma could potentially be left unsupervised for hours on end.
As much as I didn’t want to keep Emma from Helen, I knew it was what I was going to have to do. I would of course, bring Emma to see Helen from time to time while I was with them.
I helped Helen get into her bed.
“You should lie down and get some sleep.” I told her, tucking her in.
“Thank you so much, Eric. I’m so sorry for Emma. Is she okay?” She asked.
“She is just fine. I promise. Don’t you worry about her.” I said to her. I didn’t want her to feel bad about what she could not control.
I stayed with her until she had fallen asleep, which fortunately didn't take long.
When I got back downstairs, Emma was still slumbering on the couch. The severity of the Nana situation caught up to me right then, and my hands clenched into fists. Who knew what could have happened to Emma while she was unattended. Of course, there were all the little things, the mischief that she could have gotten up to, but more importantly, she could have choked on something, or she could have hurt herself.
I also had to wonder if she'd witnessed Nana's episode. Imagine how confusing it would have been for a 3-year-old, for her Nana to suddenly fall to the ground and not get back up.
I swallowed hard. I needed to get Emma home. As much as I hated the idea of leaving Helen on her own, I knew I needed to let her rest and get Emma home. Fortunately, it was Sunday, so Emma would be back to daycare starting the following day.
When we got home, I tucked Emma into bed.
I busied myself around the house, putting away Emma's things and running a load of laundry. There were dishes in the dishwasher that needed to be put away, so I did those and then started refilling the machine with the dishes that had accumulated between the previous night and now. I choked down some food, even though I wasn't really hungry. Then, I poured myself a healthy-sized glass of wine, trying to force myself to relax.
It wasn't just that I was worried about what could have happened to Emma. No, that wasn't even my main concern. My main concern was the health and safety of Helen. Maybe it was time to think about putting her in a home.
I swallowed hard and took a sip of my wine, trying not to think too hard about Emily. But the images of her came flooding back from where they were engrained in my memory. I pressed my fingertips against my eyelids and then switched on the TV. I didn't normally watch anything this late in the evening, but I needed anything to distract my eyes from turning inwards.
Chapter Eighteen
Olivia
When Eric came by on Monday morning with Emma, he looked exhausted. “Rough weekend?” I asked sympathetically.
Eric looked shocked, like he hadn't expected me to realize he was that tired, and he glanced over at Emma. I wondered if it was her fault that he was this tired, and it was on the tip of my tongue to mention her bad behavior around the daycare, which at this point, I'd still been keeping to myself. I didn't know why I hadn't told him about it. Maybe because Emma had been a bit less sulky over the previous week. Or maybe because I wanted to handle things on my own.
Or maybe because I just needed that card in my back pocket: if Emma didn't behave, I could always tell her Daddy about it.
“So about the wedding on Friday, we're still on for that, aren't we?” I asked when he didn't say anything else. “And if so, are we going together or separately?”
Eric winced. “I'm sorry, I know you RSVP'd to have a plus-one, but I don't think I can make it after all,” he said, looking truly apologetic. He frowned. “Helen has been experiencing some health issues lately, and I'm taking her to look into assisted living facilities. She won't be able to watch Emma for the day on Friday, and since you'll be at the wedding as well, obviously you wouldn't be able to either. I'm not sure that I could find another sitter in that amount of time.”
“What about my mom?” Olivia suggested, looking confused. “Or, I'm sure there are other people in this town who could watch her for the day.”
“It's not just that,” Eric said, sounding frustrated and looking agitated. “There's the possibility that we'll need to do some other looking around in case the first place doesn’t fit her needs. Plus, I don't want to leave Helen alone; that could be even more dangerous to her health.”
“If you don't want to go, you could just say that,” I snapped, unable to help my frustration at him. Yet again, it seemed like he was going hot and cold on me. He was the one who had agreed to go to the wedding in the first place; it wasn't like I had pressured him. He could have just said no.
Eric looked taken aback, and he took a step closer to me. “Olivia, it's not that I don't want to go, it's just the timing that sucks,” he said soothingly. “Come here.”
I took a step back, looking pointedly over at where Emma was coloring pictures. “I don't think that's the best idea right now,” I told him in a low voice.
Eric's face contorted, and it looked like he was going to say something in response to that, but finally, he just nodded curtly. “I'll be back later to pick up Emma,” he said. Then, he headed out the door, without even saying goodbye.
I sulked for the rest of the day, even though I knew I should be acting more mature than that. I couldn't help it, though, I was disappointed. I was beginning to think that the good doctor had just used me for sex. It seemed like now he had lost interest in me.
I wondered if there might be someone else in the picture. Maybe he had used me as, like, training wheels for a relationship with Georgia. But I hadn't heard news around town that the two of them were dating, and I knew that if Georgia were finally involved with him, she wouldn't have kept it silent.
Unless he made her promise to do so. I had a sick feeling in my gut, but it wasn't from the pregnancy this time.
The pregnancy, which I still needed to mention to him.
I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I didn't want to think that he had been using me just for sex. After all, he was going to be my child's father. I wanted to think that he was a good man. He had certainly seemed like a good man. But I couldn't figure out why he was so intent on blowing me off now.
There was a knock on the front door
that evening after all the kids had left. I frowned, wondering who it could be. Maybe Eric had had a change of heart? Maybe he had found a sitter after all and was coming to tell me that he would, in fact, be able to attend the wedding on Friday. Whatever Helen's health issues were, they couldn't be too serious; I had just seen her at the grocery store over the weekend. Maybe she had been able to reschedule her appointment.
When I answered the door, though, I was surprised to see that it was Buck Johanssen on the other side. “Hey,” I said, looking down at the box in his hands and then back to his eyes, my look questioning.
“Hey Olivia,” Buck said, giving me a charming smile. “Jeannie sent me over with some of her raspberry preserves. She's been going crazy with the canning this year, and she doesn't have space for all of them.”
I laughed. “A likely excuse, but I know how big my mom's pantry is!” I said. Then, I clapped a hand over my mouth, realizing I had just implied to him that there was an ulterior motive to the visit. Like the fact that my mom, of course, would want me to date a nice guy like him. She was trying to matchmake us.
But Buck laughed as well. “Actually, there was an ulterior motive,” he admitted, carrying the box of jars into the kitchen and setting it down on the table. He turned to face me, his hands on his hips. “She told me that you probably needed someone to come by and mow your backyard.”
I gaped at him. “How would she know that?” I asked.
“Well, as I understand it, she didn't figure that you would want to do it on your own, and if you had hired someone in town, you would have hired me.” He winked, and I had to laugh.
“You're right,” I sighed. “The backyard is looking pretty bad.” I led the way over to the screen door, gesturing out, and Buck looked appalled.
“I don't mean any disrespect, but this is beyond 'pretty bad,'” he said seriously, but when he glanced over at me, he cracked a smile. “Don't worry. It's still light enough that I should be able to get it done for you right now if that's all right with you.”
“Oh no, you don't have to do that, and especially not right now,” I protested. “I keep meaning to do that. It's just that I'm running after the kids all day, and by the time they go home, I'm exhausted. I haven't even been cooking healthy meals; I've just been having whatever I can whip up quickly.”
“All the more reason for me to get out there and help you out,” Buck said. “Come on. I already work for your mother; no reason that I can't help you out as well. She's the highest paying person in town, you know.”
I shook my head. “I should have done it over the weekend, though, I was just being lazy. You shouldn't have to do more work to make up for that. And I don't have any cash, so I couldn't pay you myself. Maybe some other time.”
“It's only going to get worse, the longer you let it go on,” Buck pointed out. “Why don't I take care of it now, and you can buy me a drink sometime.”
“Okay,” I said slowly. I really could use more friends around Tamlin; at the moment, it was still just me and my mother and Dr. Jones. But Eric didn't seem like he wanted to be friends with me, honestly. I missed my group in Chicago. I missed going out in the evenings and having fun. Maybe I needed to organize a weekend back there at some point soon.
But for now, I'd take what I could get in terms of friends. In fact, I had an even better idea for how I could repay Buck with a drink.
“Hey, I've got this wedding that I'm supposed to go to on Friday,” I told him slowly. “I know it's short notice, but I'm supposed to bring a plus-one, and the guy that I was planning on going with can't go. Any chance you'd be interested? There'll be an open bar and free food; plus, I hear weddings are a great place to meet the ladies.”
Buck raised an eyebrow at me. “Are they now?” he asked, looking amused.
“Well, you and I would just be going as friends, of course. Nothing personal, I just wouldn't take you to a wedding as a first date; that would be kind of weird.” I was babbling, I realized, but Buck just looked amused.
“You're clever, aren't you?” he asked. “Get me to do one favor for you by agreeing to pay for it with another favor that I would do for you.”
I blushed, realizing that that must be the way that it sounded. I hadn't meant it that way, but now that he said it, I felt horrible for even considering it a possibility. “Sorry,” I said, shaking my head. “I didn't mean it that way. I'm perfectly happy to pay you to do the lawn, I just don't have cash on me at the moment, like I said. And when you mentioned that I could just buy you a drink...” I trailed off, feeling foolish.
Buck grinned and shook his head. “I'm just teasing you,” he said. “I haven't been to a wedding in ages. I'm not even sure I have a suit still. But I'll figure something out.”
“Only if you're sure,” I said quickly.
“Now you're starting to sound like the person who's unsure,” Buck said, raising an eyebrow at me.
“I just don't want you to feel pressured, that's all,” I said. “I'd enjoy your company, though.”
“Good, then it's settled,” Buck said, nodding his head. “I'll pick you up; how does that sound? I know most women wear heels to weddings, and I can only imagine that driving in heels is a pain.”
I laughed. “You have no idea,” I said. “I'd appreciate that.”
“Good,” Buck said. “I'm going to go get started on your lawn before I lose the light.”
“All right,” I said, watching as he went out to the shed and pulled out the old lawnmower.
I felt surprisingly guilty about having asked him to take Eric's place, but that was silly. Eric had said he was going to be busy, and I had RSVP'd to have a plus-one. I knew it was a minor faux pas to RSVP for a plus-one and then show up single; I was just making sure that the bride stayed happy on her wedding day. Anyway, Buck and I were just going as friends, so it wasn't as though Eric had anything to complain about. If he wanted to be there, he should be there.
It felt like I was making a mistake, though, for some unknown reason, and the longer I watched Buck out in the yard, the more I wished that I could take the whole thing back. There was no hope of this not getting back to Eric; it was a small town, and people were prone to gossip. The chances of no one noticing that Buck had picked me up and dropped me off would be slim to none. I couldn't exactly ask him not to mention the wedding to anyone. He would want to know why I felt the need to keep it a secret, and it wasn't as though I could tell him that I had originally asked Eric to go with me because Eric and I were sleeping together.
Had been sleeping together, rather. It had been a while since we'd even exchanged more than the barest of greetings.
I sighed and ran both my hands back through my hair. I just wanted the week to be over already. Unfortunately, it was only just beginning.
Chapter Nineteen
Eric
I hated going into the office on Saturday mornings, but I didn't like the idea of sitting down and trying to figure out the Nana situation from home. Anyway, Emma treated it like it was a special event, to come into my office and doodle on the whiteboard for a couple of hours. At least one of us was happy, I thought, looking over at her.
I was upset to hear how bad Helen's condition really was. As a doctor, I knew that dementia was a gradual disease, and there wasn't much that could be done about it. Helen was certainly old enough that it wasn't as though she hadn't enjoyed a long, healthy, issue-free life already. And I knew that it would feel worse if it was my parent that I was dealing with.
That said, Helen and I had become close since Emily's illness and death, so the idea of losing her as well hurt.
I started by making arrangements for in-home care until I could set up a place for her in an assisted living facility. I didn't know how long it would be before I found the perfect place for her, but I was going to do everything I could to ensure that wherever it was, it would be comfortable, with friendly staff and as much independence as Helen could handle. I expected we were going to have to have a long conversation to
convince her that she did need to move into a care facility, rather than living at home.
And the home. I didn't even know what to do about that. At some point, I would need to go through Helen's things and figure out what was still useful and what was just trash. Imagine, going through a person's whole life of stuff. I was sure there would be boxes of photographs of people I couldn't even identify since I had never met all of Emily's cousins and other relatives.
I had already alerted the rest of the family to the situation, but they were content with leaving most of the logistics to me since Helen wasn't really close to the rest of the family.
I sighed and put my head in my hands, beginning to feel a headache coming on. I knew that I should focus on one thing at a time, but unfortunately, all the different issues seemed to be tied up together, so that I couldn't just focus on one of them.
“Daddy?” Emma asked, climbing up into my lap. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her face into my chest. “I'm hungry.”
I glanced at the clock and saw, to my surprise, that it was already almost 1 o'clock. Emma had been drawing so patiently, so well-behaved, that I hadn't even noticed it was getting that late. I felt a stab of guilt as I stood up, keeping her in my arms.
“Why don't we go to Ernie's?” I suggested. “I'm craving a burger, and I bet you could do with some pizza.”
“Nuh huh,” Emma said, shaking her head. “I want mac 'n cheese.”
I hummed in response. “Ernie does a great mac 'n cheese, doesn't he?”
Emma nodded vigorously, and I had to smile.
We headed over to the diner and took a seat at one of the empty tables. Ernie came over after a moment, carrying two glasses of water. “Hey Eric,” he said. From the sly look on his face, I had to wonder what he was up to. “Did Olivia already dump you?”
I gaped at him. “What do you mean?” I asked.
Ernie shrugged nonchalantly. “It's just that Olivia was seen heading out of town with Buck yesterday morning, and they didn't come back until just a little while ago.”
