by Claire Adams
We walked up the stairs, and I stopped outside of his office. The door was open, but I figured I should knock anyways.
“Come in,” he said and looked up at us. He smiled, and we walked in.
“The remaining paintings. Do you want us to wrap them up for you? So, people can just pick them up and not have to wait for them to be wrapped?” I asked.
“We want to help out!” Nell said.
James laughed, “Sure, you guys could do that. I just need to send out some emails, and I’ll come help you.”
“Okay,” I said and smiled at him. I grabbed Nell’s hand, and we walked back downstairs.
I found scissors and tape with the wrapping paper, and we sat down. I cut out some strips for Nell to start wrapping with. I laughed at the way she started to wrap them up.
“Here, let me help you.” I moved over next to her and helped her wrap up one of the paintings. It was a small one, which was the reason I gave it to her to wrap. I was impressed that she was trying so hard and not damaging the painting.
“I have a new best friend,” she said, as I helped her tape a corner down.
“Oh really? What’s her name?”
“It’s Kassondra, and she’s in my class,” Nell said, excitedly.
I paused and smiled at her, making sure to give her my attention. “I’m so glad you had a good first day, plus you weren’t even scared.”
“That’s what my dad said,” Nell said, noticeably quieter.
I chuckled but wondered what had caused the change in her demeanor.
“My Mom died two years ago,” Nell said.
We were still focused on finishing up wrapping the painting. That was the last thing I expected her to say.
“Wow, I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” I told her.
I heard James walking down the stairs, but I didn’t want to press the issue, whether he was there or not. It wasn’t my place to do that, but I couldn’t help the sadness I felt for her. It all made sense now. The sadness I’d seen in his eyes was because Nell’s mom had passed away. Two years ago, the same time as— I didn’t want to think about that tragedy it was a whole different thing from the divorce.
“Hey ladies, need some help?” he asked and sat down next to us.
“Sure, we could use it,” I said.
When I looked at him, he was staring at me. He had a look on his face that I hadn’t seen in a while. It had been years since I dated a man. My ex-husband had been my high school sweetheart, and we had been together for nine years when we got divorced. The way James was looking at me was causing old feelings deep inside of me to stir. Feelings I hadn’t visited in a very long time.
James helped Nell and I wrap the rest of the artwork. And then we had to wrap the cool sculpture I had seen last time I was there. I helped him wrap it up, and since it was so large and awkward, it took both of us to get the wrapping around it.
Our fingers brushed as James took a corner of the wrapping from me and I felt a chill run down my spine and old feelings bubble deep inside of me. I pushed the feelings away and focused on finishing up the job at hand.
“Thank you so much,” James said when we were done wrapping it all up.
We placed it by the front door so it could get picked up later that day. I loved this so much. Being able to be helpful, but also working with the art. It was two of my passions combined into one.
“You’re welcome,” I said.
Nell was sitting on the couch flipping through one of the magazines. She had lost interest in what we were doing about fifteen minutes earlier.
“I’m serious. Thank you so much. It really means a lot.”
“It’s my job,” I said, reminding him that assisting him was what I was there for.
“I know, but you have no idea how nice it is to have someone that actually wants to do their job.”
“The last one was that bad, huh?” I asked.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“I wondered. this morning I responded to comments or questions on the website that were like a month old. I’m going to help you turn your online presence around because it seems like she didn’t do a very good job of it.
James smiled at me. He was so handsome when he smiled, but I just wished it would reach his eyes. As soon as I thought it, I realized that must be what I looked like when I smiled.
“Thank you, Rachel. You’re seriously the best assistant I’ve ever had.”
“I’ve only been here one day.”
“So you can see what a bad run of luck I’ve had with assistants.”
I gave him a kind smile.
“You can head home, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay?”
“No! I don’t want her to go,” Nell said, jumping up from the couch and hugging me.
I got down to her level. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nell. Maybe I’ll bring some games with me, and we can play together after you get out of school.”
Nell’s eyes brightened, and she hugged me again, and I had to fight back tears.
After I stood up, I told James I would see him the following morning. Then I grabbed my purse and headed out. As I walked home, I couldn’t believe how good I felt. It was just a little bit. But a little glimmer of happiness and hope was better than none at all.
I thought about what Nell had told me. It broke my heart to heart that she had lost her mom at such a young age. She didn’t seem too bothered by it, though. She probably didn’t really remember her much.
A purpose. That was had me feeling better. After all this time, I finally felt like I had a purpose in my life. Something that would keep me moving forward. Keep me getting up and leaving my apartment. I felt good, and I wanted to hold on to that feeling for as long as possible.
As soon as I got to my apartment, I went right to the fridge and started to make my lunch for the following day. I made a second one, exactly the same, just in case, for Nell. Then I went to my hall closet and pulled out a simple board game I had, figuring she might enjoy playing it.
With everything together, I found that I was really excited to go to work the following day. Sadie had been so right. One day on the job and I was starting to feel better already. But I knew little Nell had something to do with that.
Chapter Nine
James
From my second-floor office, I could hear the girls laughing downstairs. I walked down the steps and into the gallery area. That’s where I spotted them, sitting at a table Rachel had pulled out from the back storage room. That’s when I noticed what they were using it for. I stood there, in the back of the gallery, watching Rachel paint Nell’s fingernails.
It warmed my heart to see them like that because I knew that Nell really needed something, someone like that in her life. Someone to paint her nails and talk about whatever girls talk about together. Esther wasn’t a bad nanny. She took good care of Nell and did what was asked of her, but I had never seen her actually do anything like this with Nell.
I took a few more steps, trying to be quiet so I could watch their little moment together, but Nell spotted me too soon.
“Daddy! Rachel’s painting my nails.” There was pure excitement in her voice as she held up her right hand to show me her freshly painted fingernails. I watched Rachel cringe and held back a laugh.
“I can see that,” I said and walked over to the table. I pulled out one of the chairs and sat down next to them. Nell’s fingernails were now painted a bright pink color. A color that I felt was perfect for a little girl. I wasn’t at all upset, but I could tell that Rachel was nervous. I didn’t want to make her nervous, though it seemed like that was all I did.
“I hope this is okay? I just had some in my purse, and Nell spotted it and told me that she had never had anyone paint her nails,” Rachel said. She seemed a little leery, like she didn’t know how I was going to react.
“It’s perfectly fine, Rachel. I love that you are doing this with her.” Then I looked at Nell. “Looks like Nell loves that you’re doing this with her too
.” The excitement was written all over Nell’s face.
“I do!” Nell cheered and threw her hands in the air. When she realized what she had just done, she brought her hands back down and examined her fingers. “Oops,” she said.
Rachel grabbed her hands gently and examined them. “None of them got messed up; it’s okay.” Rachel smiled brightly at Nell and Nell returned it with one of her own.
“You know, Rachel, I was thinking that you can take the rest of the day off. I’ll still pay you for a full day, but I want to spend some time with Nell,” I said.
With her in school now, I knew I wasn’t going to get very much time with her anymore. I wanted to take the opportunity anytime I could to spend time with my daughter. Before I knew it, I would be packing her up and sending her off to college. That was something I didn’t really want to think about.
Rachel looked at me. “Are you sure you don’t need me to stick around to help out with anything? I think there are a few more emails I can reply to. Or, I could even help you get ready for next show.” She listed off various things she could possibly help me out with, and I couldn’t help but laugh at each one.
I loved how helpful she was and that when I was trying to send her home early, she just wanted to stick around and help. I felt like I had lucked out. She was the best assistant I had ever had, by far. Not only did she go above and beyond for me, but she also would above and beyond for Nell.
Already, she had done things without me asking her to. I also took note of how gorgeous she was. I just tried not to focus on that too much.
I smiled at her, “No, Rachel. It’s okay, seriously. I think I’ve got things under control. How about I call you if I need anything.”
“Okay, sounds good to me. Nell, have a wonderful weekend with your father. I’ll see you Monday.”
Putting the bottle of nail polish back into her purse, she zipped it up, then checked the website really quick for new comments. “Okay, I’ll see you Monday. Have a good weekend, you two,” she said, and just like that, she was out the door.
“Let’s get this place closed up and head home, shall we?” I asked Nell.
She nodded enthusiastically, and I went upstairs to shut down and pack up my laptop. I brought it home with me every Friday, in case things came up, I could deal with them from home.
“Ready?” I asked Nell.
“Yes, Daddy,” she said, and we walked down the stairs and out of the front door of the building.
I turned and locked the front door, double checking to make sure it was locked by pulling on the door. Then we walked over to the car, and I helped Nell get in. Once we were both buckled up. I turned to her in my seat, “What do you want to do?” I asked her.
She shrugged, “Can we get pizza?”
I nodded my head, “Of course, we can do that.”
I drove down the street a few blocks to our favorite pizza place. It wasn’t overly busy, so it was the perfect time to be there.
Nell and I ordered a pepperoni and sausage pizza, then we went and sat down at a table that was next to a big window.
As we waited for the pizza to come out, Nell told me all about her first week of kindergarten. She was so excited as she spoke, and it made me excited for her. She told me all about the playground, and what areas were her favorite. She had a favorite swing and preferred the bigger slide of the two. But she also liked to run around on the big field.
She told me that she was excited to be able to eat lunch there next year, and went on to say that she was glad she got to eat lunch with Rachel every day. It made her happy, and I was so glad to hear that. It helped me immensely to know that somebody good was watching over my daughter. I wasn’t leaving her in some daycare where anything could happen at any moment. I had never wanted to leave her to daycare because I’d heard way too many horror stories. Being a single parent, I just didn’t want to deal with it if I had any alternative.
“Oh, and Daddy, I have a friend named Kassondra. She’s my bestest friend, Daddy.”
“I’m glad you made some friends, Nell. I knew you would.”
“No, not just friends, Daddy. Kassondra is my bestest friend.” Her eyes suddenly lit up, and I looked behind me to see a person walking over with our pizza. He set it down, asked if we needed anything else and left us to enjoy it. I grabbed a paper plate from the stack he’d left on the table, and handed one to Nell, then served us each a slice of pizza.
“What else do you want to do tonight?” I asked her.
“Well, Kassondra wants me to go over to her house tomorrow and spend the night. I have her mom’s number in my backpack for you, so you guys can talk about me going over there.” The way she explained this to me was like I was having a conversation with an adult. I didn’t think I’d ever get used to her sounding so that way.
“So what, you don’t want to go watch some movies?” I asked her.
Nell shook her head, “No, I really just want to go home and get my beauty sleep,” she said.
I couldn’t stop laughing at that. Children always sounded so hilarious when they tried to use adult language. I’d never heard her say anything like that before and found it very funny.
“Okay, sweetie,” I told her.
We finished eating our pizza and boxed up the rest, then we headed home. I hoped I could spend a little more time with her, and I wanted to bond with my daughter after such a big week. I still couldn’t believe she was in school. When we walked in the door, I asked her again if she wanted to watch a movie.
“I just want to get to sleep, Daddy,” she said.
“Are you sure, sweetheart?”
Nell looked at me with her big blue eyes, “Yeah, I’m sure. I want to get some rest so I can go see my friend tomorrow. Can you call her mom, please?”
“Okay, sweetheart, let’s get you to bed,” I said, taking Nell’s hand and walking with her to her bedroom. After she got changed and brushed her teeth, I tucked her in. Then I went over to her bookshelf and selected Goodnight Moon. I read the book to her, and she read parts of it with me. I’d always enjoyed how smart she was. She picked it up so fast. But then again, I had read it to her repeatedly for a good six months. Repetition is key.
“One more time?” she asked.
I smiled down at her. And just because I felt like I was losing time with her and I knew she wasn’t going to be around the following night because of the sleepover, I reread the book to her. And when it was over, her little eyes were very heavy, and she was starting to drift off to sleep. It was amazing to me how easily she could sleep. I wished I could sleep like that, but insomnia kept me up most nights until one or two AM.
I gave her a kiss and a hug, then turned the light off and closed her door. I left it cracked a bit, just like she’d always asked me to. I headed into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. A few minutes later I heard her yell for me. I got back up, walked down the hallway and opened the door.
“Yes?” I poked my head into her room.
“Can I have some water?” she asked me, sleepily.
I nodded my head and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing a bright pink cup with a lid, I filled it with water, headed back to Nell’s room, and handed her the cup. She took a few large gulps and laid her head down. She quietly whispered good night, and I could swear I heard her snoring by the time I left her room.
When I went back to my own room this time, I thought about Rachel painting Nell’s fingernails today. It made me think about Whitney and how she would never be able to do that with Nell. I was glad Rachel was around and that she had done something like that with her. It made me feel a lot better about where Nell might be headed. I hated thinking about her growing up without her mom. It was one of the things that kept me up at night. I had never told anybody that, it wasn’t really anyone’s business.
I laid down and struggled to sleep, now too worried about Nell going to her first sleepover.
Chapter Ten
Rachel
I woke up on Saturday alone in my apa
rtment and bored. I had spent the last week working, my first week of working in a long time: my first week of doing much of anything in a long time really. I was antsy, and feeling ready to get out and let loose. My body was feeling a bit tired. I hadn’t worked that many hours for so long that I’d completely forgotten what it was like. It was a distinctly different type of ‘tired’ than what had kept me cooped up in my apartment all this time. Though my body was weary, I still felt energized.
I decided I needed a visit with a friend. I got up, got dressed, and headed to Sadie’s bakery. I knew that I could use some time with my best friend, even if it was just for a few minutes between customers.
When I got there, Sadie was more excited to see me than I expected. She came around the counter, despite having customers, and gave me a big hug.
“You know you have customers, right?” I asked, flattered that she stopped to give me a hug.
“Yeah, I know, but I had to stop to give my favorite person a hug,” she said.
I laughed as she walked back around the counter and I made my way over to a little table by the window and sat down, waiting for a lull in business. I was excited to tell her about my job, and about Nell. I was sure that she’d want to hear about her, being my best friend after all. She always been there and supported me through so much.
It took about fifteen minutes before Sadie could come over and sit down for a visit. When she did, she brought me one of her famous chocolate croissants.
“What brings you out and about this morning?” she asked and sat down next to me.
I looked around her bakery. It was small, but it was quaint. I remember the first day that she bought it. She’d been so excited, and the first thing she’d done was bring me to see it. I told her she had made a fantastic decision and that I knew she would be great baker. She used to bake treats for me all the time, and I loved every bit of them.
“I just wanted to get out of the house,” I said.
“That’s strange for you,” she said, and I laughed.
It was true that I rarely ever left the house unless I had to. The divorce had torn right through me and had literally changed who I was, both mentally and physically. I didn’t eat much for a long time and lost a lot of weight. Just recently I’d started to gain a little bit of it back, but not too much. The depression I’d fallen into had weighed me down a lot. It was Sadie who had always been there for me. She was such a great friend. I had her to thank for the happiness I was starting to feel.
