by Claire Adams
“I’ll be in my office until it’s time to get Nell,” I said to her.
“Okay,” she said and went back to what she was doing on her computer.
I smiled at her and cursed myself as I walked away and headed up to my office. I sat down and tried to concentrate on work, but I found it hard as hell. Because there was a woman downstairs that I couldn’t get my mind off of. She was doing things to me, causing feelings that I didn’t think I would ever experience again. It was crazy though because I still hurt after Whitney’s passing. But something inside of me, something deep inside, wanted to find out where things could go with Rachel. But I was too scared, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to find out. I tried to get Rachel off my mind, but it was proving harder than I thought.
Soon it was time to get Nell. The few hours had gone by so fast, and I felt like being late this morning had added to it. I walked downstairs and paused; I looked at Rachel, and I wanted to tell her. Again, something inside of me was pulling at me, driving me to tell her the truth. Pushing me to grab her face and feel her lips pressed against mine. My body was craving it, and I could feel the desire bubbling up as I stared into her beautiful eyes. But still, I couldn’t do it.
I wanted to ask her out on another date and tell her that I wanted to spend more time with her, but I didn’t know how to do that.
“So, Rachel,” I started, and I cursed myself for not sounding more confident. This had nothing to do with me really, as much as it had to do with Nell. “Nell was wondering if you wanted to come over this weekend?”
Rachel’s eyes lit up “Really? She said that?” Rachel seemed a lot more excited about Nell wanting her to come over than I had expected her to be.
“Yeah. She said it this morning, but I forgot when I got here earlier. So, is that something you’d want to do?” For some reason, I was feeling pretty nervous, and I didn’t know what was going on with me. Before Whitney, I could have been considered a playboy. I had a lot of game. But it seemed like it got away. As I stood before this woman, I didn’t even know how to ask her on a simple date.
“I’d like that a lot.” Rachel said. We stared at each other for a moment, and I felt that deep desire in me and the need to kiss her, but I just couldn’t do it.
I made sure to hide my smile from her, “Nell, uh, Nell will like that a lot.” I opened the door to the gallery. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” I said and walked on out the door before she could even respond. I felt like such an idiot, and she must have thought I was crazy.
Jumping in my car, I drove to the school, and the whole time all I thought about was Rachel. That’s all I thought about all day. I couldn’t get her off of my mind, no matter what I’d done. Something inside me wanted Rachel, and I just hoped that she felt the same way about me. I could see the smile on her lips when I’d invited her over. Even though I’d presented it as Nell’s idea, which actually was true. Nell did want her to come over. But, at the same time, so did I. Spending more time with this woman was what I wanted. To figure her out, and learn more about her. I wanted to see more of her beautiful smile. I felt like we had such a great connection. I still just wished I would’ve kissed her when I’d had the chance.
I pulled up to the school, and even though it was just morning kindergarten getting out, it was still a little crazy. It made me wonder what it was like in the afternoons when the entire school let out at one time. I would find out the following year, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to or not. I honestly had no idea what I would do when she went to school full time.
Spotting Nell, I got out of the car and walked over to where she was standing with her teacher. Her teacher told me that Nell had a really good day. A friend had fallen and gotten hurt, and Nell had helped walk her to the nurse’s office.
“Wow, Nell. That was sweet. I’m so proud of you,” I said as I bent down to hug my little girl. She wrapped her little arms around me.
“I love you, Daddy,” she said.
“I love you too, baby girl,” I said back to her. Then I stood up, thanked the teacher and held her hand as we walked back to the car.
“Guess what?” I said to Nell as I started the car. I couldn’t keep the news of Rachel’s visit to myself because I knew it would really excite Nell if she were to find out. I wanted her to know.
“What?” Nell asked.
“Rachel is going to come over to our house this weekend,” I said. I turned around and looked at my daughter’s face just as it lit up like a Christmas tree.
“Are you serious? Yes, I’m so excited!” Nell practically yelled.
I smiled at my daughter, then turned back around and put the car in drive. I pulled out of the parking lot and drove her back to the gallery. While I drove, Nell told me all the awesome things she wanted to do with Rachel on the weekend.
“I want to paint our nails, ooh, and I want to give her a makeover. I want her to put makeup on me. I just want to spend time with her, Daddy.” She was excitedly chattering away, and I loved the sound of it. She’d been so happy lately. In fact, she’d always been a happy child. She’d been so young when her mother died that she didn’t really remember her much. And while I was sad about that, I was also thankful because she didn’t carry around the deep sadness that weighed down my heart all the time.
I pulled up outside of the gallery, and once again, I was feeling nervous. I didn’t know if I was ever going to get used to that. It was a strange thing to me.
“What’s wrong?” Nell’s voice came from the backseat. She pulled me out of my daydream, and I turned and looked at her.
“Nothing, baby.” I smiled at her and got out of the car, then helped her get up, too.
“I’m really excited that Rachel’s coming over tomorrow, Daddy,” Nell said, as we walked toward the front door of the gallery. “Are you?”
“Yes. I’m excited too, baby.” The thing was, Nell had no idea just how excited I was. I’d enjoyed spending time with Rachel the other day, and Nell had no idea about that either. I didn’t want her to know too much because I didn’t know what the future held for me and Rachel. And she was already so attached to her. I would have hated for something to happen between me and Rachel, only for Nell to lose that person in her life. Because she finally had a mother figure, even if Rachel and I weren’t anything other than boss and employee.
We walked into the building, and I watched Nell run into Rachel’s arms, feeling happier than I had in a long time.
Chapter Sixteen
Rachel
“Hello, thank you for calling All Four Seasons Art Gallery, this is Rachel speaking,” I said into the phone.
“Hi, Rachel. I’m Mark Summers, and I’m calling on behalf of my client Ryan Jacobson. He’s supposed to have a show there next weekend, and I just wanted to make sure everything is in order. He’s supposed to have three large pieces with him, and I want to make sure you have the accommodations for that.”
“Of course. James is out of the office right now, though he’ll be back shortly. I’m his new assistant, so I’m not certain of all the details, and I would hate to give you the wrong answer. So, let me check in with him as soon as he comes back, and have him give you a call,” I said.
“Thank you, Rachel. Can you make sure my message gets to him this time?” he said.
This wasn’t the first time a client had said this to me. Janice had obviously built up a reputation for herself, and for James. I laughed, “Please don’t worry; I’ll make sure to let him know.”
“Thank you. It’s just that the last few times I called, my messages were never actually delivered to him and I had to email him several times just to get a response.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. Please don’t judge James too harshly on that though. He was just trying to be nice and give his former assistant a job, and she failed miserably at it, despite his efforts to coach her along,” I said. I was hoping to make the man feel a little more confident in both James and myself.
“I don’t judge James on that.
Thank you, Rachel. I do feel better about things. Have a nice day,” he said and hung up the phone.
As I was hanging up the phone, James and Nell walked into the gallery.
“Hi, Nell. How was school today?” I asked her. Instead of running over to me, she just walked slowly. Her head was kind of droopy, and she looked like she just didn’t feel well at all.
“It was okay,” she said, then sat down on one of the couches.
“Are you feeling okay?” I asked her.
“She seemed a little off this morning when I took her to school, and it seems like it just got worse over the course of the day,” James said.
I looked at Nell, “What’s wrong?”
“I just don’t feel good,” she said. “But I still want you to come over.”
I gave her a small smile and looked at James.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said.
“But Daddy, I want Rachel to come over,” Nell whined.
“But you’re feeling sick, so it’s probably not the best idea,” James said.
Nell looked really sad, and I wished there was something I could do for her. But I wasn’t going to overstep. Not now. I had to listen to what James wanted. He was her father after all. Nell looked at me like she wanted me to do something, and I felt like my hands were tied.
“I’ll be up in my office if you need me,” James said, and then he walked off and headed up the stairs.
I walked over to the couch and sat down next to Nell, who looked really sad. I placed my wrist on her forehead and felt that she was a little warm.
“You do feel just a little warm, but it doesn’t feel like a fever,” I said.
“If it’s not a fever then you should come over,” Nell said.
“Yeah, but you should be getting rest, sweetheart. I can come over another time,” I said.
“But I want you to come over tonight,” Nell said.
I loved how much she wanted me to come over, but I didn’t want to step on toes. Especially not with this.
“But I want you to take care of me. My daddy doesn’t know how to take care of me; he would never check my forehead like that,” Nell said. It all just broke my heart, because I could tell she was craving some sort of female attention. She just wanted somebody to take care of her. Someone that had the female touch. This was a little girl who missed her mom, whether she remembered her much or not.
“Well, maybe I can come over for a little while, just to take care of you tonight. But we have to talk with your dad first.” I said.
Nell nodded her head. I told her to stay put, and I’d be right back in just a couple of minutes. I went upstairs and knocked on the open door much as I had done before. It made me wonder if he ever closed it, because since I’d worked there, it hadn’t been closed, not even once.
“Hey,” James said, “You can come in.”
“Hey, I was thinking. Nell said she really wants me to come over and take care of her.” I felt nervous. My hands were sweating, and my heart was racing. I wasn’t sure if that had to do with asking him if I could take care of Nell, or was simply from being around him.
“Why is that?” he asked.
“She said she thinks I could take care of her better,” I said with a laugh. To make sure that he knew I was only kidding and wasn’t trying to say anything bad. “I think it may be a scam,” I said, smiling.
“Well, I guess that’s actually true. I really don’t know what I’m doing half the time,” he said to me suddenly. It took me by surprise because it was such a big revelation from him.
“That’s okay. I think that’s part of it,” I said.
“I know,” he said. He looked like he wanted to say more, but he didn’t.
“Listen, Nell feels a little warm; do you happen to have any Tylenol?” I asked him.
He stood up from his desk and grabbed his keys. “I picked some up this morning; I just forgot to bring it in. Let me run out to the car,” he said.
I followed him out of his office and down the stairs, where Nell was still sitting on the couch. She looked like she was about to fall asleep. I felt bad for her. I hated it when kids were sick.
James came back inside a moment later, carrying a little bag. He pulled out the Tylenol and looked at the back, but he looked confused.
“Here, let me do it,” I said, taking the bottle from him.
I removed the plastic from the top, took the little cup off, and unscrewed the lid. I turned it over and read the directions on the back, making sure to pour the perfect amount for her age. I filled the small cup with the pink liquid and handed it to Nell.
“Does this stuff taste gross?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Nope, it should taste like bubblegum,” I said.
Nell tipped her head back with the little cup and drank the liquid.
“Good job, Nell,” James said. Then he looked at me, “Thank you. Seriously, thank you.”
“It’s no problem,” I said to him.
I left work a few minutes before them so I could walk to my apartment and grab my car. I drove over to the gallery where Nell and James were patiently waiting for me in the car, then I followed them to James’s house. Getting out, we quickly went inside.
I’d never been inside their house yet, and it was just like I’d been imagining. Small, but not too small. Not like my apartment. It was a three-bedroom, two-bathroom home. So, they had some extra room.
Once inside, Nell led me to her room. I thought it was sweet that she wanted to show me her room so badly. It was pink and very ‘princessy.’ She told me about all of her favorite toys and books, and I loved that she liked to read.
“Do you need me to get anything from the store?” James asked me.
I gave him a list of ingredients that I use in my special chicken noodle soup. Nell had just asked for something to eat, and I figured it would be perfect. Then I turned towards Nell.
“Do you like chicken noodle soup?” I asked her.
“I do. I love chicken noodle soup,” she said.
“So do I,” James said, “I’ll be back with the ingredients.”
James left, and I sat with Nell on her bed while she read me some of her books. For being in kindergarten, she was very smart. I was surprised at how much she could read.
James returned fifteen minutes later, and I helped him unload the groceries. He pointed me in the direction of all the utensils I was going to need, and I started working on my chicken noodle soup. I typically liked to make the chicken from scratch, but tonight it needed to be quicker, so I just had him just grab a rotisserie chicken instead.
“Man, this is so good,” James said, as we all sat around the table and ate the soup.
“It tastes a little better when I can make it all from scratch,” I said.
“It can taste better than this?” he asked.
I laughed.
“I love this!” Nell said.
“Good, I’m glad,” I said.
For the first time in such a long time, I felt needed, something I hadn’t experienced in so long. It felt good to feel that way again. It had only been a few weeks since I started working for him, and yeah, I was already feeling ten times better than before. I felt that I owed it all to James and Nell.
He insisted on cleaning up, despite my protests. Nell picked out a movie, and I put it on the TV for her. I went back into the kitchen to help out, but he was already almost done.
“I told you I had this,” he said with a smile.
I laughed, and then we stood there and stared into each other’s eyes. For a moment, I thought that he might kiss me. And then Nell came into the kitchen.
“I think I’m ready for bed,” Nell said.
“Wow, you must really not be feeling well,” James said. Then he looked at me, “Usually, I can’t get her to go to bed.”
Nell didn’t say anything; she just smiled at me. I let her lead me into her room where I tucked her in and helped James put her to bed.
“Thank yo
u, Rachel,” Nell told me.
“What for?” I asked her.
“For coming to take care of me,” Nell said.
I told her I was very flattered that she wanted me to come in the first place. She would never know how much it truly meant to me that she had wanted me here to take care of her while she was sick.
Once Nell was settled into bed, James walked me to my car. As we stood outside under the stars, I felt a spark of something again.
“Thanks for everything you did tonight,” James said.
“You’re welcome,” I said.
“Listen,” he started to say, but he seemed like he wasn’t sure how to word what he wanted to say next. “I’m sorry about the other night. I should have done a lot of things differently,” he said.
“Don’t worry about it. I understand. We both have a lot of things that we’re dealing with,” I said. And in a move that was a little bolder than I was used to, I kissed him on the cheek.
I got into my car and drove away before the perfect moment could be ruined.
Chapter Seventeen
James
The first thing I did when I woke up, was go check on Nell. I went into her room and was surprised to see that she was already awake.
“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” I asked her.
“I’m feeling much better,” Nell said.
I gave my daughter a hug, “I’m glad to hear that.”
“What’s for breakfast, Daddy?” Nell asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said, just as there was a knock on the front door. “Hold on a second,” I said and headed to answer the door, wondering who it was. Who could be there at this time on a Saturday morning? We didn’t get many visitors. Both of my parents lived on the other side of the country, and Whitney’s parents hadn’t really been around since she passed away.
