by Claire Adams
“I wish you were staying,” she said. “I’m going to miss you.”
It warmed my heart when she said that, and I knew I was going to miss her, too. I found that I missed her a lot whenever I wasn’t around her, and she wasn’t even my own child. I got down on her level and gave her a big hug.
“I’m going to miss you too,” I said to her, wrapping my arms around her and squeezing gently. She hugged me back, as tightly as she could. I thought it was so sweet, my heart melted.
“Are you coming to the art show?” I asked her.
“No, I’m going to spend the night at my friend’s house.” She paused and looked up at her dad, “Daddy needs to work so it will be easier if I’m not around,” she said.
James laughed, “I didn’t say that. Those were not my words, I promise.”
I laughed along with him. I knew he wouldn’t say anything like that. But the way she’d said it was funny nonetheless.
“Well, I hope you have a good weekend with your friend,” I told her. It must’ve been so hard on James to see that his daughter wanted to spend the night at a friend’s house every weekend. I knew that he felt like he was losing time with her, and it was true. But that’s what kids do. They grow up. I didn’t really know what it was like, but I could imagine.
“I will, but I’ll miss you,” she said.
“It’s okay sweetie. I’ll see you next week, okay?” I reassured her.
She nodded, and I stood up and turned to face James. “I’ll see you Saturday,” I said to him, feeling like I really wanted to kiss him right then. But I didn’t, mostly because Nell was standing there and she didn’t really need to see that. I also wasn’t positive what was going on between us and I didn’t want to push any boundaries and scare them away. Things had been going so well between us.
I turned to leave, and then felt his hand wrapped around my arm, and he pulled me back a bit. He embraced me, and we hugged, but he didn’t kiss me. I could tell he wanted to, but that he was nervous with Nell in the room like I was. Kiss or not, I could tell he liked me, just like Nell had said he did.
I said goodbye and made my way out the door. I decided I’d head over to Sadie’s and visit with her for a bit. I needed some good girlfriend time and hoped she did too. I knew I needed someone to talk to. I’d been so busy with work and spending time with James and Nell lately that I hadn’t had much time to hang out with her. I felt a little guilty for that. Like I wasn’t being a very good friend. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sure she would understand.
I got to Sadie’s bakery, and it was busy as usual. We exchanged hellos, but she was with a customer, so I sat down at a table. There were three customers waiting in line, and after she’d finished with each of them, she came over to the table and sat down.
“Hey, long time no talk,” she said.
I laughed, though I wasn’t really sure if that was a dig at me for not coming around much, or if she was trying to be funny. I decided to hope that she was going with the latter. I really didn’t want her to be upset with me.
“Sorry haven’t been around much. I’ve just been so busy with my job with James, plus helping take care of Nell,” I said. She lifted an eyebrow at me, and I knew that had to deal with the conversation we’d had when I first started working for him. “Don’t worry, I’m still not trying to play mommy,” I said, putting my hands up in defense.
“I’m sure you’re not. But what else is going on with you guys?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows at me. I knew exactly what she was talking about, and I knew what she was getting at. I laughed.
“Well, I’m not 100% sure. We went on sort of a date a few weeks ago, and he didn’t even kiss me.” I said the last part sort of quietly. I didn’t want her to think I was trying to read too much into things.
“Why didn’t you just kiss him?” she asked.
That was a good question, and I hadn’t really ever thought of it. But we were past that now, and she hadn’t given me the opportunity to continue the update.
“I don’t know. But well, we went on another date. An official date this time, and one thing kinda led to another,” I didn’t say anything else because I figured I’d let her imagination run wild with that one.
She slapped her hand down on the table which sort of startled me a little bit, and I laughed. “No, no you didn’t. Did you?” She was laughing and looking delighted, so I could tell that she was really enjoying hearing about this. I debated whether I should just come out and tell her the truth or mess with her. Messing with her would be a heck of a lot more fun, but I wasn’t sure I was really in the mood to mess with her.
I nodded my head and left it at that.
“Oh my gosh. That’s awesome. You go girl. I was wondering if that was gonna happen,” she said.
“What do you mean?” I asked her.
“Well, you seem to like him and his daughter so much. I could tell you guys were getting closer and the way you talk about him tells me about the chemistry you both have together. I knew it was only a matter of time before he slept with them,” she said.
My jaw dropped open at what she said, and the way she said it made a sound like I was a floozy. That I would’ve slept with any boss I had, and I didn’t really want that reputation. I knew she was just messing with me, but if it was that easy for her to read, I wondered how many other people could see it as well.
“Also, you don’t typically attach yourself to somebody’s family members unless you’re really into them,” she said. I had to remember that Sadie and I had known each other for a long time, so she had been there for a lot of my life and the few boyfriends I’d had, none of which are really that serious, besides my ex of course.
“Listen, Rachel; I want you to know that I am in full support of this. And I am very happy that you’re happy. But I want just want you to keep in mind that you need to take things slow. I don’t want you to get way too involved and then have something happen to set you back. You’re finally doing so well, and I don’t ever want to see you go back to that dark place you were in. I hated when you were there. I wanted to help you, but I just didn’t know how. I just hope you realize this is coming from a place of love and concern,” she said.
I smiled at her. “I know what you mean. Thank you for caring so much. I want you to know that I am watching myself. I won’t let myself get to that deep dark place again. That was awful, and I don’t ever want to feel like that again,” I said to her.
She got up to help a customer get a refill, and then another customer came in. I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a text from James. He said that he already missed me. I thought it was cute that he said something like that to me, so I wrote back and told him that I missed him too. A few minutes later, Sadie came back over and sat down.
“So, there’s an art show this weekend. Are you going to be up to make it?” I asked her.
She made a face that told me that she had bad news. “I won’t be able to make it, I’m sorry. I have some new suppliers coming in, and I have to make sure to test out my recipes with these new ingredients. So, I have a very busy weekend. But, I’m so glad that you love what you do, and it’s so good to see that you have this new drive for something.” She leaned across the table and put her hand on mine. “I’m serious, Rachel. It’s been years since I’ve seen you this happy and stable.”
I smiled at my best friend, so glad that she could be here for me. I squeezed her hand back. “Thank you, Sadie. That means a lot.” I said.
“After the divorce, you know,” her voice trailed off. “You just shut everybody out. So, I’m just really glad that you’ve let me back in.”
I had to admit that what she was saying was hard to hear because I didn’t want to hurt my best friend. I didn’t want to hurt anybody. But I’d been through so much that I really didn’t know what else I could do. Standing up, I gave my best friend hug and fought back the tears that threatened.
“I’m so sorry, Sadie. I will never do that to you again,” I said, “
I promise.”
She hugged me back and told me she knew I wouldn’t. We sat back down, and she updated me on what was going on with her store. She’s getting ready to open the new location on the other side of town, and part of that required some new recipes. She wanted to bring in new recipes to up the hype of the new store. I told her that her ideas all sounded great. She also had ideas for making wedding cakes, which she had never sold before.
I was sincerely happy for my best friend. Everything was going so good for her, and, since things were finally going well for me, I didn’t feel jealous at all. Before, when I was miserable, I didn’t really like hearing about Sadie’s triumphs. I didn’t want to hear that things were going so great for her when things were so shady for me. Now that I was finally doing better, I loved hearing everything good that was happening for her.
I told her I couldn’t be happier for her. We hugged one more time just as some customers came in and I figured I’d better let her get back to work. I told her goodbye and said that I’d stop by again soon. When I got home, I picked up the picture that was sitting on my table and stared at it.
For the first time, I was able to look at it without breaking down into a blubbering mess. I was so glad and relieved that I was finally able to move on. I put the picture back down and went to take a bath.
Chapter Twenty-Five
James
It was the day of the art show, and I was feeling really good about everything. I also woke up extra early and was excited to see Rachel. A day and a half without seeing her was too much for me. The whole thing was crazy for me to think about because I never would never have expected to feel this way ever again. After everything I’d been through, and everything that happened to me regarding Whitney’s death, I never thought that I would be even okay again, let alone feeling this way.
Rachel and I began setting up. We had a lot to get done before the show started at four that afternoon. I was feeling really good about this one, and I knew Derek would sell it all out. He was an amazing artist, and I was so glad to represent them. Honored actually. He was my best friend and a damn good artist.
“You know Rachel,” I started, as we were setting up various pieces around the room. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done since you came to work here. You’ve gone above and beyond for me, and for Nell. I can’t even begin to thank you enough for all you’ve done,” I said to her. “It’s been really good for Nell. A-and me.”
Rachel stopped what she was doing, then turned and looked at me. I wasn’t sure how she was feeling about what I’d said. I found that I was holding my breath as I wait for her response, and I hoped that I wasn't pushing any boundaries.
“You’re welcome, James,” she said. With a bright smile, she took a step closer to me.
I just couldn’t get enough of her. She was absolutely gorgeous, and her eyes were always sparkling. And her smile—oh boy, her smile. It was breathtaking. She was so pretty, but she was one of those girls that didn’t try to flaunt it all the time. In fact, I don’t think she even had a clue about how gorgeous she really was. She was quite shy really, and played coy a lot. But I found I liked that about her.
One thing I couldn’t stand was women who were fake and required someone to point out her beauty every three seconds. I hated women that were needy or those who were always caught up in some sort of drama. High maintenance women were very hard to be in relationships with. Me, I preferred the laid-back ones, much like Rachel. Exactly like Rachel.
I wrapped my arms around her, “I’m serious. You’re the silver lining to my life right now. I’ve been through a lot and felt like I was just existing, trying to do my best for Nell but failing in so many other ways. But now, I finally feel like I can be okay again and I’m excited to see what the future will bring.” Once again, I was nervous, thinking I might have crossed the line. I hoped that I hadn’t been exposing myself too much. The last thing I wanted was to scare her away. That wasn’t my intention at all.
She smiled brightly as she wrapped her arms around me. “You have been that for me, too. Both you and Nell. I can’t even begin to tell you how thankful I am for the both of you. I was in such a dark place for so long, and I’m finally starting to feel better. I went to see Sadie the other day, and she said the same thing about me. So, thank you,” she said.
It touched my heart that she felt that way. Especially when it came to Nell, who was my entire world. To hear that she cared about Nell just as much, meant the world to me. I knew I was making a good decision by spending more and more time with her. My feelings were growing, but I just wasn’t completely sure yet. I knew my feelings were strong, but because I didn’t know how she felt about me, I wasn’t sure what to say.
We went back to setting up the room, which took a lot of work on days like this. I love doing art shows, and actually enjoyed setting them up. I just hoped that she felt the same way because it was a huge amount of work. It took a lot of time and careful planning. Turns out, she was well suited for this work. She had done such a great job. She was the one that came up with where we were going to place everything. She had an eye for what looked good where, and it helped make my job so much easier. This was exactly what an assistant was supposed to do, something I had never actually experienced.
“Thank you for all your help today. Your placement ideas were absolutely amazing, and look; it’s working out perfectly.” I found that I couldn’t stop complimenting her, and hoped it didn’t bother her. From the looks of it, she was okay, but you just never know.
“You’re welcome. I really do enjoy my job, you know. I love every part of it. I’ve always been in the arts; in fact, I’ve always wanted a job at an art gallery. So, this is a dream come true for me,” she said.
I wanted to ask her what she’d done before, but something held me back. Something told me that I shouldn’t ask those kinds of questions yet. If she wanted me to know, she would reveal it herself. Right?
The show started right on time at four o’clock, and people had started lining up outside at three, so we ended up with a large crowd. I found myself looking around for Rachel a lot more than I should have been. I talked to a lot of people, but anytime I did, I would glance around and try to find her. I’d make eye contact with her across the room, then return my attention to the other person. I was constantly concerned with where she was and just needed to know she was still nearby.
“Hey, man,” Derek came up to me in the middle of the show.
“Hey,” I said and took a sip from my champagne glass. “You’re doing awesome. I think you’re going to sell everything,” I said to him.
“Did you have any doubts before?” he asked.
“Don’t get all cocky,” I said to him. It was a fair warning because the last time I had an artist get cocky, he didn’t sell a single piece. Derek was well aware of what had happened that time.
He laughed. “I’m not cocky. I’m confident. I know my pieces are awesome, and I know people like them,” he said.
There was a lot of truth to what he said. He actually was a really good artist, and he hadn’t had a single show where he didn’t sell a lot of pieces. The least he had ever sold was something like ninety-five percent of the show offerings. There were two giant pieces left from that show, his second, and personally, I felt it had more to do with the pricing than anything else.
“Are you the artist?” the woman asked, as she walked over to us. Derek smiled and introduced himself, then the two of them walked away. I shook my head, recalling that he always seems to end up getting phone numbers from a few women at every single one of his shows. I never knew an artist could get so much.
I glanced around the room and spotted Rachel. She walked over to me, smiling.
“He’s doing really well,” she said.
“Guess I should have told you this so you’d know what to expect. Derek always does great. He gets cocky, but the results don’t lie. People love his work and put their money where their mouth is. Guess that’s why I
put up with his lip service.”
Rachel laughed. She was holding a glass of champagne and put it to her lips and took a drink. As she swallowed, I was wishing that I could have been the glass pressed to her lips. She looked absolutely stunning in her tight little black dress. She changed just before we started the show, and I really hadn’t even had a chance to compliment her.
“You look really good in that dress,” I said to her.
She blushed, which I found really attractive. “Thank you,” she said.
I sensed that she had gotten shy after my comment, and I hoped it didn’t scare her off. But she didn’t move, so I figured that I was okay. I found myself wishing I knew how she felt about me and hoping she would open up and really talk to me because then I could tell her how I felt about her. Then I wouldn’t have to feel like I needed to hide my feelings from her all the time.
Derek ended up selling every single one of his pieces. I knew he would; there had never been a doubt in my mind. He approached me after the show.
“Thanks for the show, man. It was great as usual, he said to me.
“No, man, thank you. You sold out, again,” I said and high-fived him.
Derek said goodbye and slipped out the door, leaving the gallery quiet and back to just being me and Rachel. I found I liked it better that way.
“What did you mean when you said I was your silver lining?” she asked, as we were cleaning up.
“Well, I’ve needed someone in my life. Someone amazing and beautiful and smart. Someone that actually meant something to me. Somebody that could bring a smile to my face. Someone that I find myself constantly thinking about,” I paused, cringing. I didn’t mean to go overboard, and I wasn’t sure how she was going to react. Relief came quickly as she smiled brightly at me. “I’m grateful to have you in my life, Rachel.”
Without missing a beat, she wrapped her arms around me, stood on her tip toes, and kissed me. Her lips pressed into mine, harder now, and soon enough my arms found their way around her body. I slid my hands down her sides, around her back, then down to her delicious ass. I gave it a squeeze, and she moaned against my lips.
