by Claire Adams
We pulled into the parking lot of the movie theater, and I couldn’t help but feel a little nervous—like I was on a date. Even with Nell here, it felt nice having Rachel around, though I still felt a little nervous. I got butterflies in my stomach every time I saw her.
“Hi. How are you today?” the teenager on the other side of the ticket booth asked in a monotone voice.
“Hello, I’m good. Can I get three tickets to the twelve o’clock showing?” I asked. There was only one twelve o’clock showing that day, and it was the movie we are looking to see. We had lucked out.
“Sure.” Said the teenager.
After she passed me the tickets, the three of us went inside. “Do you guys want some snacks?” I asked.
“Of course, Daddy!” Nell yelled. Rachel and I both laughed at her. Sometimes, she just didn’t know how to be quieter. It was alright, though, and made for some funny moments.
As we walked up to the snack counter, the three of us were discussing the different treat options that we liked. Nell was requesting a hot dog, I wanted some nachos, and Rachel wanted popcorn. But all three of us also wanted some candy, plus I got all three of us drinks.
I was blown away by the price and realized that we could have gone to a restaurant for a full dinner. But I guess that was the price you pay when you go to the movies. I passed my money across the counter, to another teenager, but she seemed a little more upbeat than the first one. It made me wonder why teenagers wanted to be in customer service jobs when they weren’t really good at or interested in customer service. I figure maybe because it was just a job and that is the kind of jobs available for kids.
I handed the girls their cups, and as I waited for our snacks, I watched Nell and Rachel walk over to the soda machine. I saw Rachel asked Nell what kind of soda she wanted. Nell said Pepsi, and Rachel looked at me to ask, and I shook my head no. Rachel told Nell to choose something that didn’t have caffeine in it. She ended up picking orange soda, and I watched as Rachel helped her fill her cup with ice and then get the soda. She helped Nell put the lid on and get her straw in, all without helping herself first. I got the snacks and Rachel still was without a drink, but it was amazing to me. I didn’t ask her to do that. She could have waited for me to help Nell, but she just automatically did it. She made sure to take care of Nell before she took care of herself. That spoke volumes to me.
As I watched the two interact, I knew right then and there that I was head over heels for Rachel. Nothing would ever change it. I was in love with her.
I wanted to climb onto the roof and yell from the rooftop. I wanted everybody in the world to know how I felt about her. But the thing was, I didn’t know how she felt about me. I knew this was a conversation we were going to have to have very soon because I was desperate to know.
We found the theater for our movie and found some seats near the back, the exact place that Nell wanted to sit. I never understood going all the way to the back, and Rachel commented on the same thing. She said she liked to sit in the middle seats in the middle section. That’s exactly where I liked to sit. I remembered having friendly arguments with Whitney all the time about her wanting to sit in the very back. It was nice to know that I was now with someone that shared that preference. One more thing we had in common.
The movie was all right, but I was relieved when it was over. It was definitely for children. As we were walking out, I looked over at Rachel, wondering what she thought.
“Did you like it?” I asked her.
Rachel glanced at Nell, then gave a small shake of her head and laughed. And under her breath, she said, “Not really. I thought it was a little ridiculous. A lot of the kid movies I enjoy, but this, not so much.”
I laughed. Mostly at the fact that she was trying to hide her response from Nell.
“I know what you mean. I didn’t really understand what was going on half the time. But maybe that was because I was distracted,” I said.
Rachel looked at me, “Oh really? And what were you distracted with?” she asked.
I laughed, “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because my two dates were the most beautiful girls in the room.”
“Thank you, Daddy,” Nell yelled, causing Rachel to laugh again. I really loved the sound of her laugh.
We drove back to my house where Rachel stayed with us through the evening. She ate dinner with us and even pitched in while Nell got her bath. She helped put her to bed, and afterward the two of us snuggled on the couch watching a TV show. I started getting late, and Rachel had decided it was time for her to head home. I was sad, hoping I could spend more time with her. I didn’t want her to leave. It was a weird feeling for me since I hadn’t felt this way since Whitney, and I never thought I would again.
We kissed goodbye, and after I watched her car drive down the driveway and away toward her house, I started counting down the hours until I could see her again. This only drove me to want to know how she felt about me even more. I still wasn’t sure, and there was no way I could tell her how I felt about her then have her turn around and tell me that she doesn’t feel that way. I would be absolutely crushed and knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I fell asleep thinking about her and hoping she felt the same way about me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Rachel
I was responding to an email when James and Nell came into the gallery. I had spent the last couple days constantly thinking about them. My thoughts were completely consumed by both Nell and James. I wanted to spend all my time with both of them. I don’t think I’d ever felt that way about a man before in my life, and definitely not a child. It felt good, especially because I could tell that they liked having me around and it was nice to know that I was wanted.
“How was school today?” I asked Nell when she came inside. She walked around the side of the desk and gave me a hug.
“It was good,” Nell said. She was bouncing around and seemed very energized this afternoon.
“What are you learning about now?” I asked her. I liked to ask her this like once a week. I wanted to ask her every day, but didn’t because I felt like that would be too much for her. But once a week was nice because then she could give me the rundown of what she had been recently learning. It was nice to hear, and I felt like I was experiencing all the new things right along with her. It was exciting. Such an exciting time for her, and for me.
“Well, today we learned how to count from one to twenty. But I already know how to do that, so the teacher let me help her out,” Nell said proudly.
She was so smart, and I knew that James was really proud of her. He had been doing such a great job raising her, though I knew it must’ve been so hard on him. To be a single father and have to raise your child alone after your wife died, and to carry on in the midst of profound grief. This had got to be something he struggled with. But clearly, he was doing a great job, and the evidence was Nell herself. A happy, healthy, confident and upbeat child. And she was doing really good at school; in fact, he had received many compliments from the teacher already. There was no way he couldn’t have been super proud of her.
“That’s so amazing. You’re so smart, Nell!” I said to her. I gave her another hug, and she squeezed me back tightly. Almost as if she never wanted to let go. I thought it was sweet.
“Did I miss anything while I was gone?” James asked.
“Um, I got an email from Derek asking about you blocking out a date for his next show. And I responded to a couple emails from a new client that would like to come in and talk with you. But other than that, I’ve just been organizing the pickup times for everything that sold the other night,” I told him.
He smiled at me. “You really are amazing, Rachel. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it all. What I do know is that you’re making this business more successful, and I couldn’t do it without you,” he said.
“You’re welcome,” I said. I loved hearing how much he appreciated me, but I also wanted him to tell me more. I wanted to know how he really felt about me.
Were things changing between us? I knew we had great sex, but that didn’t necessarily mean he had feelings for me.
“Rachel, where do you live?” Nell asked.
I looked down at her. I tried to think of when we’d had a conversation about this, but I couldn’t come up with anything. It was weird, since I lived right down the street from the gallery, yet she’d never even been there.
“I live just about a block away. That way,” I said, and used my index finger to point up the street a little ways. Nell went to the door and peered out through the glass.
“Can we see your house from here?” Nell asked.
I laughed, “No, you can’t. But it’s not that far away.” I said. The reason why you couldn’t see my house was because it was behind some bushes.
“Get your nose off the glass, please,” James said. I grabbed a bottle of glass cleaner and a cloth from under my desk and walked over to it. I quickly sprayed the glass and wiped it down.
“There, all clean,” I said.
James laughed, followed by Nell, and I joined them. It was nice because it seemed like we were always laughing. There was always someone messing around, most of the time it was Nell, but a lot of the times James and I were joking about something, too. I love how we clicked like that. The three of us got along so great. It made everything seem better when I was around them.
“You can come see my house whenever you want,” I told Nell. Her eyes lit up really big.
“I can?” she said, and then she turned to James, “Daddy, can I spend the night at Rachel’s?”
James laughed, “You can if Rachel would like that sometime,” he said.
I smiled at the two of them, “Of course, you can stay the night with me,” I told Nell. She immediately came running up, and she threw her arms around me once again. I loved all of her hugs. She always hugged me so tightly, it made me sad that she hadn’t had her mom to hug all this time.
“Thank you, Rachel!” she yelled.
“When would you like to do this?” I asked her.
“Tonight! Can we do it tonight?” She said.
I laughed again and gave her another hug. “I don’t see why not,” I said to her and then to James, “You can stay too if you want,” I told him.
Nell started clapping her hands and jumping up and down. “Oh yes, Daddy, please! Please! Stay with us!” she yelled.
We were both laughing at how silly Nell was being. She was so excited over spending the night with me, and even more so to have her dad coming along. I loved how innocent she was, and how she got so happy about even the little things. It gave me a new lease on life to see her childlike wonder.
James pretended to think about it for a moment before he said, “Sure, I’ll stay with you guys.”
He went upstairs shortly afterward and started to get to work. There were some things that he had to do before we were done for the day. I went back to my desk and answered a couple more emails and made some comments on the website. Then Nell and I looked at the remaining paintings. I made up a story about a couple of them, and I could tell Nell absolutely loved it. I was nervous to have them stay at my house, and I was trying to remember the last time I cleaned it. But then I remembered I had been on top of cleaning every single day, so I hardly even had to do anything. There might’ve been a couple dishes in the sink, but that was an easy fix.
It was a couple more hours before James was done and we were all ready to leave. Nell was excited that we didn’t even have to get in the car. We just had to walk right up the street. I led the way, and she got excited all over again. It was something I’d been expecting, but she started screaming and jumping up and down. James told her to stop screaming, but she did it again until he told her they would be going home if she didn’t stop. But he quietly signaled to me that they really wouldn’t, and I had to hide my smile.
James left after a little while to pick us up some food we had ordered from a Mexican restaurant. He planned to stop by his house and grab a few things for them. Nell’s favorite blanket was a must have. When he came back thirty minutes later, we sat down around my table, and the three of us ate our food. It was really good, and I especially enjoyed it, not having had any Mexican food in a while.
“This is so good. Where did you say this place was?” I asked him.
“Off of Manhattan and 12th Street,” James said, as he took a bite of his rice.
“Oh, the little place with the mariachi band, right?”
“Yep, that’s the one,” James said, taking another bite of his rice with a scoop of beans. I couldn’t say I blamed him; it was really good.
When we finished eating, I went into the living room picked up the picture frame, my special one, and hid it away on my shelf behind some books. I didn’t want them to see and have questions. I still wasn’t quite ready to take the picture down for good.
I turned on the TV and found a family movie on Netflix, and the three of us settled on my couch and started watching it.
“Daddy, you’re going asleep on the couch tonight. I’m gonna sleep with Rachel in her bed,” Nell said, matter-of-factly.
James laughed, “Is that so?”
Nell nodded enthusiastically, “Yes,” but didn’t say another word.
“I guess it’s settled,” I said. James and I both laughed, but I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t be sleeping with James, but I was excited to cuddle with Nell.
When the movie was over, the three of us separated. Nell and I said goodnight to James and left him on the couch in the living room, while Nell and I went and crawled into my bed. We stayed up a little late, talking and laughing, but I made sure that she didn’t stay awake past nine-thirty. She needed to get some good rest for school the next day. It was nice to have her sleep in my bed, and to my surprise, she got in but didn’t seem to want to cuddle with me. It was nice anyway, though, it had made me think of my own life. It made me think about everything I had missed out on over the last couple years. I tried not to let it break my heart.
“This is so fun, Rachel!” Nell yelled. I heard James laugh in the other room, which made me laugh, too. “What?” Nell asked.
“You yelled it, and your daddy heard you,” I told her. We both laughed, then she snuggled into me.
“Rachel, this has been the best day ever. Thank you for having me over,” she said, then she yawned. I could tell she was getting tired. I could see why Kassondra’s parents liked having her over. She was a polite girl.
“You’re welcome, Nell. I’m so glad you’re here,” I said to her. I hugged her and then she rolled over, and minutes later, she fell asleep. And after a few more minutes, I heard James make his way down the hall to my room. The door pushed open slowly, and he came inside. He walked over to my side of the bed. He got down next to me on his knees and kissed me. It was a sweet kiss, but it was so intimate, I could tell it meant so much more.
I knew at that moment that I was falling in love with him. More in love than I’d ever been in my life. But I was scared. I didn’t know how he felt about me, and I would be absolutely horrified if I confessed my feelings to him only to discover that he didn’t feel the same way about me. Something like that could send me back into the darkness.
“I just wanted to tell you good night,” he said.
With a final kiss, he walked through the door and down the hallway to the living room.
I rolled over and felt a new sense of peace overwhelm me. The feeling was warm and inviting, something I hadn’t felt in so long. Every single day, I was growing more and more thankful for both he and Nell. He didn’t know it, but he had saved my life. There was no way I could’ve kept on living the way I had been. If it wouldn’t have been for the ‘help wanted’ sign, I don’t think my life would have ever turned around. I owed all of my happiness to both James and Nell.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
James
One month later
I arrived at work just as I had on most days for the last month, with two cups of coffee in
my hand. One with two sugars, and a vanilla latte for Rachel. I knew how she liked her coffee sweet. I brought it to her, and she had really enjoyed it. She mentioned that she would mind if I brought her one again, and from that moment forward, I brought her one almost every day, without her even asking me.
Rachel got up and greeted me with a hug before taking the coffee, which I appreciated. She set the coffees down, then turned back around, and I pulled her into me for a big kiss.
“I missed you,” I said.
“I missed you, too. But I spent the night last night, remember? You literally just saw me thirty minutes ago.” She laughed and kissed me again; then I gave her the latte.
“Thank you,” Rachel said, taking a sip. “Mmm. I love these so much. Thank you. I probably would have been dosing black coffee with creamer. We all know that doesn’t really taste that good,” she said with a laugh.
I took a sip of my coffee, “Well, you just needed to find somebody that could introduce you to the finer things, like good coffee,” I told her. Under my breath, I added, “If you can even consider that coffee.”
“Hey!” Rachel said, laughing at me. “It’s still coffee. It’s just really watered down flavored coffee. And some of us can only drink weak coffee, you know. Some of us don’t have badass taste buds like you.”
“Badass taste buds?” I asked her with a laugh.
“You know, people who like spicy stuff and drink strong black coffee. And chew on nails, and all that stuff.” She laughed again, and this time I laughed with her. She really was something else. She always kept me on my toes with the things she said to me.
I set my coffee down and wrapped my arms around her. “I am happier than I have ever been before. This last month has been so amazing,” I said to her. It was true; I had never felt this way about anyone else before.
