They beat her, too. They beat her, and use her, but she is...
The cave wavers, breaks apart.
It collapses around us both. His mind stops.
A wall of windows appears. In the shifting glass shards of his mind, I dart between fragments like an insect’s erratic battle with wind.
A burnt out factory stands in a field. A long row of thin, glass panes stand in metal frames, sporadic holes already punched by rocks thrown as rust grew up rows of corrugated iron.
He is there, a boy again, still smaller than his years, though not as small as when I saw him beaten and cut and raped in the woods. The emotion remains intact but it is more focused from the years.
Structures spark around his light. Fear lives there, covered over now in blinding rage...and something else, a feeling of growing purpose, mixed with that wildness, the temperament of an animal.
Emotion pulses out in erratic bursts.
I feel his mind reach out. I feel it start, that folding sensation.
It unfolds entirely, stirring something inside me as he aims. Pent up feeling courses outwards, meeting shimmering squares of glass panes in a rusted, corrugated wall. The power behind it terrifies me.
I’ve glimpsed that fire-like potential before, in seconds crawling by as I flex a muscle unused. I’ve seen it in me, this fire. Only a half-memory guides me to be cautious, to not fall into it...to not direct any strength or intention its way.
I am careful as I look at it, like a giant picking up a snail.
The boy is past that. He uncaps that force, a writhing, boiling pit below a thin membrane he uses to hold it back. When he slides back that veil, he screams from the power of it. It feels good, so much better than he’s ever felt before...and I lay there, panting in the dark, remembering that feeling somewhere inside my own being, jealous of him for not caring.
He exhales it out, and...
Windows explode inside rusted frames.
They shatter outwards. The release is so profound he is filled with something close to joy. The folding turns into a merging, a oneness with all lights, everywhere, and he sees inside every atom, every moving and shining particle.
He’s held it back for so long.
When it finally goes he laughs and laughs and can’t stop laughing...
I SAT HUNCHED over a cup of chai, staring into the fire.
My mind felt excavated...spent. I could no longer think about anything outside of our jumps. I lived there now. Both relief and irritation accompanied my every break between immersions. It was like a drug.
It frightened me a little, to know I was living vicariously through the boy. I was exercising that part of myself through him...siphoning off the excess, so to speak, like watching porn instead of having sex.
I was aware enough to be disturbed by that idea.
Day followed day, mostly the same since that first introduction to the boy in the woods beneath that older version of the Himalayas. Tarsi and I weren’t any closer to finding the connection to the current day massacre, if one even existed to be found...but I felt like I needed to scrub my brain with steel wool and Comet for about a month.
I don’t think I fully knew it was morning until the old woman came in, holding an armful of wood. Stacking the pieces by the stone fireplace, she turned and looked at me, her eyes appraising.
“You need break,” she announced in her choppy English.
I nodded, vaguely grateful. The irritation came a few seconds later. I pushed it aside, glancing hopefully at the pile of skins that had become my bed.
“Yeah,” I said.
“Good.” She smiled. “Husband here. Waiting for you.”
I stared at her for several full seconds, unblinking, until her words sank in.
“Revik’s here?”
“You got different husband?”
Taking a long drink of the tea, I set down my cup, noticing only then that my hands were shaking. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t felt him.
Then, thinking about it, I could believe it.
But that made me wonder again why he hadn’t come before now.
He hadn’t felt angry the times I’d managed to touch his light, but he hadn’t felt exactly...normal, either. Tugging my boots closer, I shoved my socked foot inside the first one and began knotting it up. I blanked out my mind.
“He mad at me,” Tarsi said cheerfully. “He say he no leave until he talk to you.”
My nerves worsened. “Great. Okay. He’s out there now?”
“He no leave,” she repeated. Her pale eyes smiled at me. Take the yak skin. And keep the clothes. I’ll get them from you when you come back.
Once I got my second boot on and tied up, I stood, letting the blanket drop to the floor as I looked for where I’d left the coat. Finding it by the door, I fumbled into the arms, and then I felt him, looking for me. A sharp ribbon of pain sliced through my chest, sucking in my breath. I lay a hand on the whitewashed stone, fighting to keep the chai down.
Once I’d recovered enough, I looked at Tarsi.
That time, I saw kindness in her eyes as well as humor.
“Do I need to come back here?” I said. “I do, right?”
She gestured fluidly with a wrist flick up, a seer’s yes.
She added, “Go with him now. Both of you are useless.” Smiling, she went on in the more cultured tones of her mind. It is better that we let the two of you be married for awhile. You are both becoming a liability in your current state...him even more than you.
At my skeptical look, her eyes sharpened.
“...You need to tell him something, Bridge. Before you leave. I’ll know if you don’t. I’ll come after you, tell him myself.” Use my exact words, she sent. Before you go anywhere with him. He won’t hear it later.
I nodded, but that last part puzzled me. I finished fastening the coat, standing by the door.
“Okay. What is it?”
She told me. Her words didn’t clear anything up, so I repeated them a few times in my head, trying to make them make sense.
“What does it mean?” I said.
Alyson, tell him exactly what I said.
“But you’re talking about me, right? Why can’t I know what it means, if—”
She clicked at me, loudly enough that I fell silent.
Alyson, she sent. I am not playing games. Tell him...or I will.
After a slight hesitation, I nodded. But I wasn’t happy. Reaching for the wooden door handle, I stopped a last time, looking over the interior of the small cottage. It had become my whole world in the past few weeks.
“Say goodbye to Hannah for me,” I said. “Tell her thanks.”
“You stalling, Bridge?” She smiled.
I sighed. “Maybe.”
Steeling myself, I jerked the door open and entered the clearing, putting the old woman and the stillborn images of war and glass shattering and dead children out of my mind...for a short time, at least.
I SHOULD HAVE known he wouldn’t wait in the open unnecessarily.
And yet, it still made me pause when I couldn’t find him right away with my eyes. I scanned shadows, half-using my sight, and made out his tall form, standing unmoving by a clump of dark, hard-skinned trees. He stood at the opposite edge of the clearing, not far from where I’d last seen Chandre.
He wasn’t looking at me.
He had been waiting for me to locate him, however; I felt that much, but no more. He hadn’t been so heavily shielded around me since we’d been together on the ship. His visibility behind the Barrier existed only in what wasn’t there, not what was...his outline constituted an empty spot in the living light of the forest.
As soon as I thought it, his light changed.
Within a blink, his light matched that of the woods with an exactness I couldn’t help but find impressive.
I began to walk. His long form remained motionless as I crossed the grass. Shadows stretched alongside strips of early morning light, dappling his face under the trees. He didn’t look over as I approached
, but continued to focus on the sky past the edge of the cliff. It occurred to me he must have left in the middle of the night to get here at this hour.
When I stood directly in front of him, he turned his head, but still didn’t quite meet my gaze.
For a moment, we just stood there.
It was almost easier to be with him like this, with his light so closed. I looked up at pinkish clouds, realized I hadn’t been out of Tarsi’s hut much in what must have been a few days at least.
When I looked over next, I caught him watching me. His eyes traveled down my body before he felt me looking and averted his gaze. His face was blank, the mask I remembered from when we first knew one another. He had a bruise on one cheek, dark enough that I knew it had to be a few days old at least. Tentatively, I tried to read what was going on behind the mask.
He didn’t exactly push me off, but I felt him move, sidestepping my light.
His voice made me jump. He spoke English, his accent thick.
“Are you staying?” he said. “Here. With Tarsi.”
I took a breath. “She said I could go.”
He didn’t meet my gaze, but nodded. “What will you do now?”
I hesitated, suddenly unsure.
“I’m leaving,” I said. “...With you. Aren’t I?”
I saw his shoulders abruptly unclench. His light remained firmly closed. He seemed about to say something more, then looked away again.
“Are you ready?” he said. “Do you have everything you need?”
I studied his eyes. “Yeah,” I said. “Revik, your face. What...”
He shook his head. “Not here.” He held out a hand. He didn’t try to touch me, but stopped, palm open, offering it to me. I stared at it for a moment, seeing my father’s ring on his index finger.
Feeling him react to, and misunderstand, my hesitation, I reached out, but before our fingers touched, I hesitated again, retracting my arm.
“Wait,” I said. “There’s something...something I’m supposed to tell you. Before we leave.” I felt my face warm, and realized I was embarrassed. I wasn’t sure why I was embarrassed, but I fought to block my reaction. All I ended up doing was looking away, towards Tarsi...or at least towards her door.
When I turned back, I saw him waiting.
“It’s ridiculous,” I said. “But she wanted me to say it word for word.” His face remained patient, so I ran fingers through my tangled hair, sighing. “Okay. She wanted me to say this: ‘He lied to you. In Cairo. She doesn’t know. I...’”
I hesitated. His face hadn’t moved a muscle.
“‘...I agree with you. But you need to be...careful.’”
I felt him waiting still, so I held up my hands.
“That’s it,” I said.
He didn’t meet my eyes, but I saw him look towards Tarsi’s house.
For a moment, he didn’t move. His light remained tightly shielded, but I felt some kind of conflict on him, or maybe it was an emotional reaction of some kind.
Hell, he could have been talking to her.
He nodded a second later, seemingly to himself. I saw his throat move in a swallow, just before he offered me his hand again, giving me a bare glance.
“Okay.” He cleared his throat. “Are you ready?”
“Revik.” I studied his eyes. “What does it mean?”
He shook his head. “We can talk about it later.”
“Is this about Maygar? Because he didn’t...” I saw him flinch and stopped.
Pain rippled off him. For a moment he didn’t move.
“No,” he said finally. “It’s not about that.” He looked me full in the face. “Allie.” He struggled with words. “Allie...are you all right?”
He had opened his light, so much so that I found it difficult to hold his gaze. Grief spiraled off him, but worse than that...guilt, and a pain that was hard to deal with.
Looking away from that expression, I tried to smile, backing off.
“I’m fine.” Still trying to get that look off his face, I joked, “...I’m pretty sure he’s not.”
He didn’t smile back. When the feeling on him intensified, I caught hold of his arm.
“Hey,” I said. I bit back the flare in my light when he looked down. For a moment, I could only return his stare. “...I want to go with you,” I said. I released his arm, taking a half-step back. “I’ve missed you like crazy, and we can talk about whatever you want. But I really don’t want to go back to Seertown. Much less the compound, or—”
“Not Seertown,” he said, his eyes still on mine.
“Then where?”
“I found us a place, Allie...it’s safe.” He cleared his throat. “We’ll be alone.”
I thought about that for another breath, then nodded. I took the hand he offered a third time. When his fingers wound into mine, I felt it down to my feet.
“Okay,” I said. “Then I’m ready.”
HE WALKED WITH a slight limp again, I noticed.
We hiked for hours, and I watched him walk. I wondered if his injuries from Terian were acting up again, or if this was something new...something related to the bruise on his face. I almost asked once we were going uphill.
In the end I didn’t, aware of his probable reaction to my bringing it up.
It felt at first like we were retracing the steps I’d taken to Tarsi’s...but at a certain point, Revik deviated.
He brought us through a ravine I didn’t recognize, then further south, towards a different crest of mountains. Helping me up onto a slim trail once we reached the other side of a narrow, heavily forested canyon, he took me past a broken wall of cliffs made up of granite-like boulders.
I gazed out over the canyon, watching birds skim along the roof of the canopy. Hearing the thundering crash of water over rocks after we’d been walking a few minutes longer, I looked around until my eyes found a high waterfall of glacier runoff. The sound grew even louder once we’d rounded another jutting section of rock. He took my hand again when we reached a section where the rocks grew slippery, leading me up to a snaking path through the trees.
The air felt colder within minutes, and thinner.
After we’d been walking another hour, I struggled a bit to breathe and stopped to rest.
Laying a hand on a tree beside the path, I looked down at the zig-zagging trail roping below, half-obscured again by trees. I saw someone on the trail then and froze, just before the figure disappeared.
“Revik,” I said quietly.
From behind, he touched my shoulder, almost tentatively.
“Adhipan,” he said. “Females only.”
I glanced up, but he didn’t return my gaze. My eyes drifted to the bruise on his face. “So much for being alone, I guess.” I tried to mask my bitterness with humor, but didn’t succeed. “I’m amazed they’re bothering to be sneaky.”
Revik touched me again. Again, his hand didn’t linger.
“They won’t be able to see us where we’re going,” he said. “Balidor promised me.”
I nodded, but didn’t quite believe it. Seers could lie as well as human beings...better, I had learned, especially when the truth interfered with their warped sense of ‘duty.’ Funny how everyone was so concerned with me now. Where had all that overbearing male concern been when Maygar decided to do his wacky claim thing...and in full view of the entire compound?
My anger deflated when I saw Revik’s eyes brighten.
It shocked me...even with what I’d felt off him before. I had to look at him twice, and even then I couldn’t make up my mind if I was right. His light closed, and I watched him, disbelieving as he wiped his face with the back of his hand, avoiding my stare.
Seers weren’t human, I reminded myself. The men had zero stigma around getting openly emotional. Actually dangerously emotional. Tightening my fingers in his, I tugged on his hand. He still wouldn’t look at me.
“Hey,” I said.
“Allie.” His voice was thick. “...the Maygar thing...”
I shook my head. “No. Revik...please. Please don’t.” Feeling him tense, I shook my head again. “It’s not you...I swear it’s not. I just don’t see any point in talking about it. It happened. It’s done.” When his face tightened, I tugged on his fingers. “Look. Everything came out okay...more or less.”
He still wouldn’t look at me.
I quieted my voice.
“...Please, baby.”
I felt him react to the endearment, glancing at me.
I caressed his fingers, feeling that ripple through his light, too. “I already yelled at Chandre, blamed you, blamed myself...I don’t have the energy to do it all again. We’re good...aren’t we?”
His jaw hardened, but he gestured a ‘yes.’ He looked like he wanted to say something anyway, but feeling me push back against his light, he didn’t.
We didn’t talk again for a few hours.
By then, we were on a high plateau.
A long, grassy field spread out before us. White-capped mountains stood on all sides. The view before me of low-seeming clouds and the strangely polarized, blue-white sun brought a chill to my spine.
Feeling suddenly like I’d stumbled into one of my dreams, I slowed my steps, my breath a little short. I glanced around at the wildflowers dotting the thigh-high grasses, feeling the sense of familiarity like a physical blow. It could have been that same field, from the jump with Tarsi.
What were we doing here, anyway? Was there an airstrip nearby?
The sky was darkening. When Revik tugged lightly on my hand, his fingers questioning, I followed. We walked through the thigh-high grass without talking, until we reached the top of a small rise.
Below, a fence ringed one portion of the field. It delineated the edges of a mown space around a low ranch house with a tile roof.
“Here?” I said, looking up at him. “You want to talk here?”
Revik nodded. He glanced up at the sky, too. I don’t know if he noticed the look of bewilderment on my face or not.
“I bought it,” he said. “We needed to modify the construct pretty extensively. It was easier to buy it, then we could rework the whole thing.” He hesitated, studying my face. “The house is pretty simple, Allie.”
Allie's War Season One Page 69
