by Ben Reeder
“Mara,” the old man said, suddenly sounding less than sure of himself. He turned and pointed the pistol at me, but Mom pushed him to the ground and went to stand in front of me. He stood and raised the gun again.
“You’re going to have to go through me to get to my son,” she said, her tone hard as iron.
“You would really die...for this?” he demanded, gesturing with the barrel of the gun.
“Without hesitation,” Mom said. Dee ran up beside her and grabbed her hand.
“Why, Mara?” he asked. “Why do you choose this...thing, this gadje over your own blood?”
“Because you tried to make me choose you over my son. And when it comes to my kids, I will always choose them first.”
“Gadje know nothing of honor, Mara,” he said. “Nothing of loyalty. He is his father’s creature. He will turn on you. They all do. Just like you turned on me.”
“My son has risked his life to save me, to save his sister. More than once. He’s killed to protect us. I know my son would sacrifice his own life to save his family. And you ask me why I would choose him over the man who is still pointing a gun at his own daughter? Tell me about loyalty, father. Tell me about honor and blood. Tell me you’re better than he is. Go on...lie.”
Silence fell, and I smelled new scents on the wind. I smiled when I heard footsteps behind me. The gathered Roma took a collective step back, and my grandfather pointed his gun to one side of me.
“What’s the matter, Jardani? Wolf got your tongue?” Shade said, her voice like a blade wrapped in velvet, both beautiful and dangerous. She filled out a pair of leather pants like they’d been poured onto her, with a sleeveless black spandex shirt The rest of the pack came around us, two standing in front of Mom and Dee, the rest joining Shade. Dee darted around behind me, then I heard her grunting as she climbed the pole behind me. Moments later, the chain fell on my head.
“Sorry!” Dee tried to whisper. I smiled and shrugged the heavy links off my shoulders, then flexed my arms. Now that I had the leverage, the individual links popped with some effort. I helped Dee get down, then stepped in front of her.
“The only reason you’re still alive is because you’re related to Chance,” Shade snarled at my grandfather. “And that’s looking pretty thin right now.”
“Shade, please,” I said. “Don’t.” I walked past her, my emotions at war. “Grandfather, you too. Please, put the gun down.”
“Never,” he said flatly.
“Then,” I said, overcome with a sadness I couldn’t fight, “start with me.” I walked up to him and took the barrel of the gun and put it against my chest.
“Chance!” Shade cried out. “What are you doing?”
“It’s simple,” I said. “I’m giving them what they want. And I’m asking you not to go looking for revenge, baby. He wants me, then fine, he can have me. I’m tired of seeing the people I love put in harm’s way because of me. Even if they do it themselves.”
“You think I won’t pull this trigger?” he asked, drawing the hammer back with his thumb.
“Kinda hoping you will,” I said. “The past couple of years, it’s like some kind of bad or another is always trying to kill me, enslave me or otherwise fuck me over one way or the other. At least with you, I figure you might actually think you give a damn about me. That’s something. Just...if you do? Leave. Leave the rest of my friends alone, and get the hell out of here. Okay?”
“No,” another man said. He stepped forward, his own pistol trained on me. “They were willing to come here and kill us all. What more proof do you need of the evil of your kind? This is why we hunt you and kill you.”
“What, you think you’ve been keeping tabs on us?” Shade said with a laugh. “You think we don’t know exactly who your agents are in this town? You think we don’t know that the second shift nurse at Mercy General is one of yours? Or that we don’t have a clue about the park rangers you bribe? The cops on your payroll?” She reached down and pried a chunk of asphalt loose. “You think you’re hunting us? Since when? Since you hit the state line four days ago? Or since you made camp here the day Chance got out of the hospital? We’ve known who you are and what you were doing for years. And in all the time you’ve been here, we’ve never grabbed one of you and tied you to a pole so we could execute you for the crime of being Romani. But if you want to lose a war, by all means, pull that trigger and start one. We’re only one of dozens of packs in the area.”
For a few moments, no one said anything, and no one moved. Then a woman stepped forward, her hair white and long, her faced ancient but somehow untouched by age at the same time. She wore a long skirt and a gauzy white blouse that was embroidered in red. One hand held a gnarled wooden cane that she leaned on with each step. She walked up to my grandfather, looked from him to me, then back at him, and shook her head with a tsking sound.
“Jardani Murathy, give me that gun,” the woman said. He turned and looked at her with wide eyes, but didn’t resist when she snatched the pistol from him and let the hammer down with a casual confidence. She broke the gun open and looked down at the cylinder, then turned it over and pressed the plunger to push all the rounds out of it. They pinged and clattered on the ground, and she handed the gun back to him, still open.
“What are you doing woman?” Jardani said, sotto voice.
“What am I doing? Oh no, my beloved idiot, what are you doing? What are we doing? Look at this boy, ready to die to help his friends. You say he’s a threat, but what did he ever do to us?”
“He’s a werewolf, what more does he need to do? Kill your daughter?”
“Being a werewolf was never his choice, just like being Romani was never yours or mine. Are we any better then? Are we better than the gadje who spit on us just because we’re Romani? We, of all people, should know what it means to be judged for who we are in someone else’s eyes. If what this girl says is true, then she and her pack aren’t the real monsters here. We are.” There was a muttering behind her, and the older woman, my grandmother came to me and handed me a shirt.
“Go on,” she said. “The longer you’re here, the more likely they are to stop thinking about what I’ve said. And you, girl,” she turned to Mom. “I am so proud of you.” She put her hands on either side of Mom’s face and kissed her forehead. Mom hugged her then grabbed Dee’s hand and tugged her toward the van. They only got a few steps away before Dee pulled away and ran up to my grandfather.
“You know what?” she said, looking up at him. “”You...you’re a dick.”
“Dee!” Mom said, coming back for her.
“It’s too bad,” she pressed on. “I really wanted a grandpa.” She turned and let Mom take her hand to lead her away.
“You know what?” I said to him. “So did I.” Shade came over to me and put her arm around me.
“Meet me at Dr. Corwin’s place?” she asked.
“So, Dante’s is out, huh?” I asked.
“Definitely,” Kain said from the edge of the trees. He stepped forward and offered Shade a smile. “You did well tonight, Shade, protecting one of your pack. Meet me at the lodge, both of you.” He turned and headed back into the woods, completely impervious to the glare I aimed at his back.
“I’ll see you there,” Shade said, leaning in to kiss me briefly.
The Mulani camp was only a few miles down Highway 71 from the entrance to the camp, so we ended up making it there in less than twenty minutes. I pulled in behind Shade’s bike as she was setting her helmet on the seat. She favored me with a smile when I got out, then turned and headed for the amphitheater off to the side of the lodge. Old memories loomed in my head when I followed her toward it. Fighting Dominic King. Killing Dominic King.
An explosion hammered my ears, and I flinched as my left hand told me it had been kicked hard.
I shook my head to clear it and went to the edge of the amphitheater seats. Kain waited down below, looking at us from the same place Dominic King had stood when we started our fight. Shade and I took
the steps side by side, coming to a stop a few feet from him.
“Shade, you did well tonight, for a beginner,” Kain said. “Even though you exposed too much information in the process, you still managed to show the Gypsies that you were not to be crossed.” He turned to me and frowned. “However, Chance, if you had spent less time fighting my guidance this afternoon, you would never have been captured, and none of this would have been necessary. None of this should have been necessary. Even a gamma should have been able to handle that situation on his own. You can’t go whining to the pack everytime you create a problem for yourself.”
“Roma,” I said.
“Excuse me?”
“Not Gypsies,” Shade said. “That’s an insult. They’re the Roma, or Romani.”
“Do not correct me, either of you,” Kain said. Shade and I traded glances. I heard and smelled the other pack members approaching, and raised an eyebrow at Shade. She shook her head slightly. “Chance, the balance of debt you owe the pack is getting larger, and you’ve shown no sign of paying us back. The pack turned the tide of that situation, and you owe us your loyalty for it.”
“Jacob, Chance doesn’t owe us for that,” Shade said. “The pack looks out for each other. We don't keep score. Besides that, if you are keeping score, Chance has helped us out plenty in the past.”
“And that’s why you’re not as strong as you should be as a leader,” Kain said. “Every member needs to be ready to pull his own weight and know his place in the pack. Chance needs to remember that he’s at the bottom of the ladder now, and act accordingly. What he did in the past doesn’t count.”
“Shade’s right, the pack is a family, not a company. I was a part of this pack before I was turned, and I’ll be a part of it until I die.”
“Boy, that’s twice you’ve spoken out of turn, and Shade, that’s twice that you’ve let him. Your pack lacks discipline, and that starts at the top. It’s time someone took you in hand.” He started to move forward, his arm drawn back, his hand curled into a fist. I had all the time in the world, but I couldn’t move fast enough. My legs bunched under me and propelled me to Shade’s side, and we brought our hands up together to catch Kain’s arm. The force of the blow shoved us backward, but it never landed.
The tableau held for a moment, the two of us straining against Kain, his fist an inch from Shade’s face. Kain pushed harder, but as strong as he was, he was no match for both of us. He snarled and backed up.
“You should have just accepted your punishment,” he said, then his eyes went gold and I felt something hit me. Shade and I both staggered back, our reactions not our own. Instead, my wolf seemed to shrink in on itself, and I felt my strength drain from me. We both fell to our knees, whimpering. Kain walked up to us, and punched Shade. I heard the snap of bone breaking, saw blood fly as she spun and fell. I wanted to go to her, to throw myself at Kain, to hit him with a spell hard enough to knock him into the next county, but all I could do was whimper and wait for his fist to fall. My vision went white for a moment, and when I could see again, left side of my face was ablaze with pain, and I couldn’t see out of my left eye. What I could see what a sideways world. Turning my head was a monumental effort, but when I did, I could see Kain helping Shade to her feet. He put his hand to her cheek in a gentle touch, but she flinched away.
“I didn’t want to do that, Shade, but you forced my hand,” he said. “As the senior alpha here, I could not allow any act of insubordination to go unanswered. Not even from you. Especially not from you. I’ve told you time and time again that we two must present a unified presence. That means you do not disagree with me in view of the pack, or even give the appearance of doing so. In private, I will allow discussion, but I will brook no dissent before the pack.”
“No, Jacob,” Shade said. “I am the one who will allow discussion in private. This is my pack, and Chance is still my boyfriend and still my gothi. He’s still right where he’s been all along, at my side.”
“Your pack?” Jacob laughed. He took a step closer to her and put his hand up to point at her. I felt the power of his will again, and even though it wasn’t directed at me, I felt it hit Shade from a distance. “You think this is your pack? Little bitch, you may lead this pack, but you only do so because Sinbad lets you. This is his territory, and no pack exists without his say so. And given the way things stand, I am the ranking alpha here, so you lead at my pleasure. You don’t deserve the help of a real alpha, and if I didn’t have orders to save your worthless ass, I’d leave you to fail on your own.” Tears streamed down Shade’s face as he turned his back on her and came to me. He picked my up by one arm and pulled me close to his face. “And you,” he snarled. “You don’t deserve my guidance, either. Not with that attitude. Now get the hell out of here, before I do something permanent.” He tossed me into the air, and I hit the concrete ledge that served as one of the seats near the top of the amphitheater. I felt something give in my right arm and my right thigh, and it was all I could do to crawl the rest of the way out. I wanted to stay and fight, but my wolf was beaten, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fight him. At the top, I pulled myself to my feet and turned to look back at Shade. When I whispered her name, she looked up at me.
“Go, Chance,” she whispered. “You’re just pissing him off with everything you do. I can handle him for now.” Galen came to my side and put my arm around his shoulder.
“Come on, little brother,” he said. “I’ll get you to your car. You’ll be fine by then.” He supported me for the walk across the parking lot, never letting me put all my weight on my right leg. By the time we got there, I was almost completely healed, just like he’d said. At least, physically.
“I’m sorry,” I told him, though I really wanted to tell that to Shade. “I’m sorry I’m so weak.”
“Don’t,” Galen said. “You’re still Ascending, little brother. You won’t come into your full power until your first full moon. If you think you’re a badass now, just wait until then.” He leaned in, gave me a quick hug and stepped back. “Go get some rest, man.” I got in the car and sat there while my body finished healing, my heart aching as much as my body. I’d hoped Shade would say she loved me, but all she’d had for me was the brutal truth.
“I love you,” I said aloud. I might not have been a mage anymore, but speaking a thing out loud still meant something to me, and I hoped that it still meant something to the Universe. Even more, I hoped that it still meant something to Shade. Tears trying to escape from my eyes, I started the car and sent gravel flying on my way out of the parking lot.
As bad as I wanted to take the long way home or just drive for a few hours, I couldn’t afford the gas money, so I settled for speed instead. The light was still on in the front room when I pulled into the driveway, and the smell of Mom’s favorite chai tea hit me as soon as I got out of the car. I walked through the empty front room and found Mom in the kitchen. Bills were laid out in front of her, and I could smell the sharp tang of stress from her. Cortisol, my brain dredged up. The human body’s hormonal response to stress, and Mom’s blood was loaded with it just then. Thank you junior year Health and Wellness Class.
“Hey, Mom,” I said as I came into the kitchen. She looked up at me and smiled, then came around the table and hugged me tight.
“Oh, Chance, I’m so sorry,” she said into my shoulder.
I hugged her back as tight as I dared, felt every strand of her hair under my hands, smelled her scent on a level I’d never been able to before. I rubbed my cheek against her hair, wanting to breathe in the scent, the comfort of her presence. As long as Mom was around, somehow, everything was okay.
“It’s okay, Mom,” I said. “None of this is your fault.”
She pulled back and looked at me, her dark eyes searching mine. “It is,” she said, her hands tight on my arms. “I called my father the night of the attack. I asked him to come here.”
“Why?” I asked. Given what little I knew about the Mulani Roma, it didn’t make sense that Mo
m would want them in town. My heart beat faster in my chest as I ran through every worst case scenario.
“I thought...I hoped that they might have a cure. I was afraid for you, sweetie. I didn’t know what it might do to you, and Dee was so sure that you wouldn’t stay a werewolf, I just…” She stopped and turned away with an exasperated sound.
“What, Mom?” I asked. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“When I was a girl, there were stories about someone who had been bitten, but who didn’t end up turning. Rumors that the elders knew how to lift the curse. But, it turns out that’s all they were. Rumors, myths. Children hearing what they wanted to hear, or making it up. I just wanted to hold on to some hope that you…”
“Wouldn’t turn into a werewolf?” I asked. “Is that so bad, though?”
“I used to think so,” Mom said. “But I was raised among the Ghost Clan. The werewolves are one of their constant enemies. They...they do what you do, Chance. They fight the evils of the world. Werewolves, vampires, rakshasa, and a hundred more. I was raised on the stories of my people protecting mankind. But I never got to see the reality of it. It was just… our mythology. I didn’t think it was real.”
“But now you do?”
Mom gave out a short laugh and smiled at me. “I have for a while. And I hoped...I prayed that my father could help me cure you.”
“Mom, I don’t need to be cured,” I said. “I just need to learn how to deal with this. Shade and I can finally be together without worrying about her losing control! We finally live in the same world together.” I turned and walked to the entry to the kitchen, then turned around to face her. “Please, Mom, this is who I am now. I need you to be okay with that.”
