Chapter Thirteen
Anne lingered at the bottom of the stairs, near a planter. She had found the ladies’ room easily enough but hadn’t really needed it. She simply felt the men needed some privacy and proceeded to give them some. However, now she was stuck not knowing exactly when she should go back.
She moved to the railing of the lower deck, which sat right at water level, and watched a family of ducks scooping up popcorn flung down from the upper deck. She breathed in slowly and breathed out. She was having a wonderful time with Grey, but at the back of her mind, the lies she’d told him and her personal history with this park were weighing heavy on her.
What did it really matter, though?
In another few weeks Grey would be out of her life and would never know of her dishonesty. Still, she knew what a huge deal honesty was with him. She remembered the incident in the bathroom all too clearly and began to blush hot even at the thought.
“Anne? Are you okay?”
She turned to see Grey coming down the stairs. He was so good looking, even in his little disguise with the glasses and the hat.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just trying to give you guys some privacy.”
They should have come down here to talk because she hadn’t seen another person come this way the entire time she’d been down there, although she could hear the crowds, the laughter, the babies crying, the music, the sound of metal dust pans scraping the wooden deck as sweepers cleaned up trash carelessly strewn there.
Grey came over and put his hands on her forearms, pulling her close.
“You didn’t have to.”
She shrugged.
“Seemed like the right thing to do.”
He pulled her into a warm embrace, wrapping his arms around her and pressing her body close to his.
“Anne, I feel like I screwed up bringing you here.” He pulled back far enough to look at her. “You don’t seem really happy.”
She closed her eyes and pulled away from him. There was going to be no getting out of this. If she’d learned nothing else with Grey so far, she learned he was like a dog with a bone when he wanted her to tell him something.
“I lied to you before.”
She saw him instantly tense, though he obviously tried not to show it. He tugged on his earrings and released a breath.
“It’s a long and complicated story that I don’t really think has any relevance to you and me so I—”
“Decided to lie to me.”
His tone felt like a slap, and she gasped from the pain she felt.
“I didn’t…I…”
She pressed her lips between her teeth, forcing herself to be quiet. She wasn’t going to make this worse. Grey was different than anyone she’d ever known in her life. Most people not only didn’t care when you lied to them but were twice as busy pushing their own falsehoods on you. Not Grey, though—and she’d disappointed him.
She moved to sit on a low stone wall that lined a bed of palms that reached through the deck to the second floor where they could be bathed in sunlight. Finding it chilly in this corner of the location, she folded her arms across her chest and rubbed her hands down her arms while she tried to figure out what to say to Grey.
He came and sat beside her, turned to face her, and pried her fingers from her arms, pulling them until their entwined fingers laid in his lap. She turned her body toward him to make the position all the more comfortable.
“Anne, you must know by now that I am a safe place for you, do you not?”
She nodded, but he took his fingers and tipped her chin up until she looked him in the eye.
“With your words, Anne.”
She sighed. “I know.”
“Then what is it you fear in telling me the truth?”
Her stomach swirled in nauseating circles, but she’d been down this road with Grey before and knew how it would end. She simply wasn’t willing to allow the entire day to be lost to her insecurity.
“I lied when I said I hadn’t been here before. I worked here for a summer when I was sixteen.” She felt the shame burn in her throat as she remembered that summer.
“Okay.” He ran his fingers over hers in a supportive, caring manner.
“I guess you need to know that I was raised a Seventh Day Adventist, a strict Adventist. My mother could have been Ellen White reincarnated. She took everything about the religion very seriously, and I was suffocating. So the summer I turned sixteen, my aunt and I convinced her to let me stay for the summer with my cousins. Eventually, she agreed, and I set off for what I thought was going to be the most magical summer of my life, but instead…”
“No magic?”
She looked into his eyes and saw so much empathy for her, but he didn’t know yet, and she couldn’t fall into those eyes and lose herself until she got out the entire story.
“No. No magic. At first it was amazing, I was free like I’d never felt before in my life. Days at the pool or the beach, I started working here, and for the first time in my life, boys looked at me. I liked it, Grey.”
He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I imagine you would.”
“No, you don’t understand. I was raised…Well, sex wasn’t specifically discussed in my house, but I knew it was only for marriage, and girls who felt the way I was beginning to feel were clearly meant for hell.”
“Oh, baby.” He cupped her face in his hands, tilting her head back so she’d look at him. “You know that’s not true now, right?”
She chewed her lip. “I’m not sure what I believe now. Grey, I did something horrible. Something unforgivable.” She pulled away from him as tears started to fill her eyes as the memory filled her mind.
“Honey, I doubt it’s that bad. Just tell me.”
Her brow furrowed as the weight of her guilt that she was ever pushing back started to suffocate her.
“I met a man, and I mean a man. He was thirty-eight, and he was in a band here at the park. He flirted with me. When I’d go see the band play, he’d sing to me, come up and see me between sets. I felt special. I felt like I longed to feel all my life, and I was, of course, convinced this was prince charming. However, a few months in I found out he was married.”
He started to say something, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“Please, Grey, this is hard enough. Please don’t stop me.”
He instantly relaxed, and she knew he wouldn’t say anything more.
“By that point, I fancied myself in love, and I started praying to God to have him leave his wife. I didn’t care that it was wrong. I didn’t care that he had kids. I only wanted him. I was so utterly, utterly selfish, and despite the fact that everything in my soul was telling me to get out, I wouldn’t. My black heart wanted him.”
She closed her eyes to gather her nerves before she finished the rest.
“He was sleeping around with several of the other groupies, but he never tried to take anything with me farther than kissing. I started to feel there was something wrong with me, or maybe it was just my virginity…”
Grey groaned as if someone had just stabbed him, and the pain in his eyes matched the pain in her heart at that moment.
“I got one of his friends to fuck me, thinking he’d go back to him and tell him I was easy, then maybe…it was one night, down in the tunnels here at the park that the employees use. He just fucked me up against a wall, and it hurt so much and…”
Grey pulled her into his lap and held her close. She couldn’t stop the tears from falling now. Her biggest regret, her biggest shame, he knew now, and she only prayed he wouldn’t see her differently now.
“Of course, it changed nothing. The man I was so in love with didn’t want me any more after that than he had before. I was like a pet or some novelty to him, I don’t know, but I went back home at the end of the summer, and after I told my mother what had happened, she kicked me out. We haven’t spoken since.”
“Good lord! Where did you go?”
“I stayed with some people fro
m the church at first, but they all knew. My mother told everyone. I couldn’t bear it. I was suddenly the church whore. Men…” She stopped.
“Anne, did they hurt you?” She looked away, but he pulled her back to him.
“No.” She licked her lips. “Yes.”
She’d never told anyone what had happened to her when she’d gone back home, not even Jordan, who she knew would have understood, but this had always been her secret, her shame.
“What did they do, Anne?” Grey’s voice had gone dark, and a shiver of fear shook her.
She shook her head. She didn’t want to tell him anymore.
“I’m humiliated enough, Grey. Aren’t you happy yet?”
She shoved him away and stood up.
“I’m going back to the hotel. Just give my stuff to Jordan…”
He grabbed her so fast she wasn’t sure she ever saw him move. He turned her body and pushed her against a pillar supporting the upper deck. She inhaled his scent along with the moss and water surrounding them, she just wanted to melt into him, but she wouldn’t allow herself.
“The hell you are! Tell me the rest of it, Anne. I need to know.”
She surrendered, stopped fighting against his hold on her and sank into it.
“I…There were men at the church, always telling me I was a whore and needed to repent.” She shook her head, she wasn’t being fair. “Not always, but enough. I stayed with a couple from the church, and I caught Elder Barry staring at me when I showered. Another time, a couple of boys I went to school with told me I was too proud for a whore and that they knew how to rectify that. I always felt like I was being stared at. I don’t know, Grey, by that point my mother had tossed me out, and I was feeling so guilty over what I’d done that summer. You have to understand, I’d been taught since I was a child about sexual purity and the sacred bonds of marriage, and I’d thrown myself headlong at a man who was married and had children! I did deserve punishment for that!”
She swallowed back tears.
“What. Happened?” He ground the words out slowly and carefully, somehow knowing there was more.
She drew a deep breath and finished it.
“I cleaned the church three times a week as part of paying my way at Elder Barry’s. He and his brother would be working, and they’d keep an eye on me. One night…” She shook her head. The empty feeling she got anytime the memory tried to brush against her conscious engulfed her. “They wanted to fuck me, both of them. Told me it was what I should expect considering what I’d done. I let them.”
Her stomach turned, and she closed her eyes against a wave of nausea. He was quiet for a full two minutes. She watched him breathe slowly. She felt dead inside. No feelings whatsoever registered.
“You’re using the word ‘fuck’ an awful lot these days, love.”
He made her laugh. It was such a surprise.
“I am. I blame your bad influence.”
He smiled, slow and sexy.
“I’ll accept that.”
He pulled her into his arms and hugged her so tight she struggled to breathe.
“No wonder you freaked the hell out when you saw me praying.” He released her, cupped her face in his hands, and stared into her eyes. “Precious angel, you do realize that God does not condemn you for having sex, or wanton desires, or being naïve, right? You do know those men essentially raped you, right? You know they were wrong, your mother was wrong, and if God were standing right here next to me, he’d agree!”
She wrestled with him a bit, trying to get away. She wanted to be done talking about this all now.
“It isn’t rape if you don’t say no.”
“Bullshit. You may not be able to have them tried and convicted, but there was no way in hell those men had any delusions of you wanting it. They pushed their will and their bodies on you, and just because you didn’t fight it didn’t make it consensual. The most heinous of crimes have been enacted in the name of God since the beginning of time, convenient scapegoat God is, as he can’t really defend himself, but the God I know, Anne, he loves. He forgives. He protects. And he would never ever condemn you for making a mistake. You have to know that.”
“Honestly, Grey, I don’t know what I know. Mostly I just try not to think about it.”
He seemed to think about her answer for a moment, but she didn’t really care what he thought or if he agreed with her. She hated that time in her life, and she didn’t like thinking about it.
“Fair enough. Is it too painful for you to be here then? Because if not, I have an idea.” His smile sparkled as it spread across his face. “Trust me?”
God help her, but she did. She trusted him in a way she hadn’t known possible. He made it safe for her all the time, and she treasured it.
“I don’t want to leave. I’d like some new memories of this place, if I’m honest.”
His smiled broadened. “Then, honey, have you ever come to the right place.”
Her stomach flipped, and her body became instantly heated. The joy that welled up from deep inside her just at being with him was a new and wonderful experience.
“You’re different.” She marveled at just how different.
He laughed harshly. “Yeah, after me they broke the mold.”
She smiled and reached out to brush his cheek.
“I’m really glad we met.”
His eyes grew dark as he stared into hers, but she could tell it wasn’t about arousal or awareness. If she was right, she thought perhaps she’d just hit his heart.
“Me too, angel. More than I could say.” He forced his gaze from her and looked out over the water for a moment before turning back to her. “I wish…I want to give you so much more than…”
She pressed her fingers to his lips.
“Doesn’t matter. Just be with me now, okay?”
“That I can do.”
He pulled her deeper into his arms and delivered an unbearably soft kiss to her lips. She was lost to him instantly, so much so she didn’t even try and stop him when his hand went up under her dress and skimmed her pussy. In fact, she moved to allow him better access.
She moaned as he pushed inside her.
“You’re my good girl, Anne. I love the way you open yourself for me.”
“Mmm-hmmm.” She was writhing in his lap, not caring that they would be within easy view of anyone who walked this way.
“You want to come for me, my angel?”
“Please.”
He pulled open one side of her dress. Baring her breast, he began to suckle on the nipple. She slipped further under his spell, spreading her legs farther apart so he could have better access. The sounds of people all around her blended into the stimuli, a train full of people went by behind them, a part of her hoped they could see, see how wicked she truly was.
“That’s right, love, lose yourself in it.”
She didn’t need his permission. She was gone, needing release, needing…She gasped as he bared her other breast.
“You love that they could see you if they only looked this way, don’t you?”
“Yes.” Her voice was half purr, half breath.
“You know you’re safe with me right, Anne?”
“Yes…ahhhh.”
She wedged her eyes open to see him staring down at her. The cool breeze blew over her exposed nipples, and she writhed up into his hand.
“Then come for me, angel.”
She started to smile, but then the orgasm pulled her under. He covered her mouth with a heated kiss, sealing in her moans as her body shook with pleasure. When it passed, he quickly placed her breasts back inside her dress and pulled down her skirt, tucking her body close to his, held tight in his arms.
“Ah, Anne. My girl. Mine.”
He held her tight and placed a kiss to the top of her head.
She couldn’t allow herself to get lost in him. Regardless of his words, he wasn’t staying. He couldn’t. She knew that and accepted it. She just hoped that knowledge and acceptance would be en
ough to protect her heart.
Chapter Fourteen
“Wake up, sunshine.”
Anne groaned and rolled over. She didn’t want to wake up. She wanted to stay safely ensconced on the seven-hundred-thread-count sheets under the warm blankets with the hottest man in Hollywood wrapped around her body.
“Come on, love, you’re going to be late to work.”
“I don’t wanna go to work,” she whined.
She rolled over onto her back and opened one eye in time to see Grey leap on her.
“Sounds like a plan to me, love. I just didn’t want to get you in trouble, but if you’d rather stay here tied to my bed…”
She giggled and relished the thought of staying in Grey’s bed permanently, but she couldn’t get carried away.
“I’m not tied.” She smiled, teasing him. He nipped her bottom lip between his teeth as his gaze grew heated.
“Oh, love, that could be so easily remedied.”
Her stomach flipped, and her breath caught. She was having the time of her life with Grey, the day at the amusement park and the zoo, the nights in his bed. She remembered how he tied her, how quickly he was able to arouse her, and the way he could talk her into the most scandalous of behaviors, but she needed a reality check, and work was the perfect thing for that. It would mean yet another night of skirting Jordan’s questions, but she just didn’t want to share what was happening between them with anyone. She pushed him back, regretting it the instant his heat left her.
“No.” She pouted. “I have to go to work. It’s not fair to Jordan. Besides, she’d know exactly where I was. Good lord, knowing her, she’d just come pound the door down until I answered.”
He stood out of the bed and reached down for her. “I suppose you’re going to leave me for that cold locker room downstairs again?”
She let him pull her to her feet, smiling to herself as she felt an ache between her legs that wasn’t ordinarily there.
“Yeah. Why?”
“Because.” He smiled at her in a secretive, playful way that made her heart lighten.
“What time is it, anyway?” She let him lead her away from the bed.
Lucas, Samantha - The Seduction of Anne Ruby [The Seduction 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 16
