"Uh, never mind!" I said, spinning on my heel and rushing to the bathroom.
There were already girls lined up against the sink, smearing on lip gloss and checking their eye makeup, so I dashed into one of the stalls. Carefully, I pulled out my hands, which resembled Fourth of July sparklers.
"If I want to control my magic, I can," I whispered to myself, willing my sizable reasoning abilities to overpower the panic.
I closed my eyes and whispered the words over and over again, not caring if anyone heard me. After my heartbeat returned to normal, I chanced an eye open.
My fingers had stopped sparkling.
Brrrring!
And I was late for class.
The benefit of having a schedule full of AP and dual enrollment classes was that I barely even remembered I had magic in the first place because I was too busy trying to absorb the waterfall of information. My rotating schedule had Chemistry as the first period of the day, where I struggled to understand the solubility of fluoride salts of alkaline earth metals. Second period was math; there, at least, I understood the concept behind the binomial expansion and Pascal's triangle. In third period English, I was just glad to I escape notice because I definitely didn't remember anything I'd read in To Kill a Mockingbird. And I spent three-quarters of my graphic design class staring at a blank white screen in Photoshop.
By the time lunch rolled around, my brain felt about as gelatinous as Nicole's silver potion. As usual, I headed outside to eat lunch. There were already other students outside as well, but they didn't pay me much attention. I picked the farthest picnic table away from the rest of them and sat down to eat.
I looked at my hands, thankful that other than a little sparking this morning, they had remained un-ignited. I groaned and took a huge bite of my sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. A gust of wind blew the clouds away from the sun, and I was bathed in warm, bright sunlight. After spending all day inside, I was squinting, and wished I'd had my sunglasses—
Before the thought even left my head, my sunglasses appeared next to my hand in a puff of purple smoke.
I almost choked on my sandwich, glancing both ways to make sure no one had seen it. Fingers trembling, I touched the sunglasses to confirm they were, in fact, real before slipping them onto my face.
"Huh," I said.
I sat back and took another thoughtful bite of my sandwich. Accepting that magic was real opened the door to a different thought process.
I had magic.
Which meant…well, I supposed I could summon sunglasses. I could do probably anything I wanted to. I had no idea what the limits of my newfound powers were—or anything about them, really. But if I could summon sunglasses, I began to wonder what else I could conjure with the snap of my fingers.
My turkey sandwich on white bread was suddenly unappetizing. Glancing around to make sure no one was watching me, I considered what I really wanted to eat for my birthday lunch. I envisioned a thick, juicy steak and a baked potato with sour cream and butter and flicked my wrists like I'd seen Jeanie do.
But nothing appeared.
"Well, damn," I said, sitting back.
Okay, so apparently there were limits to what I could do, and conjuring a steak was one of them. Huffing to myself, I reached for the sandwich again. Two bites in, I remembered my magical spell book. If I could summon my sunglasses, maybe I could summon the book, too.
"Uh…bring the book!" I said, flinging my wrists out.
This time, it appeared in that same cloud of purple magic.
I heard laughing, and my heart stopped in my chest. Had anyone just seen what I'd done?
After a few moments, I spotted the source of the laughter. A group of juniors was hanging around one of the tables. They noticed me staring at them and I quickly looked away. I didn't think they'd seen anything, but I wasn't eager to attract their attention.
But now I had the book, and at least a few minutes to read it. I quickly flipped to the first chapter to pick up on where I'd left off the night before.
THE BASICS OF SPELLWORK
Spells are distinguished by their outcome and the object with which the magic has been applied.
A SUMMONING SPELL, then, will present object to the summoner without use of the physical movement;
A CHARMING SPELL will animate an object as if it were alive;
An ATTACK SPELL will cause physical harm to another magical user;
Et cetera.
A Magical's best tool for spell work is a well-crafted mind. Magic is but an extension of the Human Will, and it is as powerful as the mind it inhibits.
While there are certain birth-given limits to the Mind of a Magical, a good Master will improve upon these limits as a sword on whetstone. Daily reading of Latin and classical works, Magical History and Theory, as well as daily practice in arithmetic will sharpen the Mind for more effective spellmaking.
I chuckled to myself; perhaps this book had never taken an AP class because my brain was mush after a full day of "mind-sharpening."
The first chapter seemed as dull as the preface—more talk about the importance of a basic education. Then again, based on the age of the book, it was probably written in such a time when primary education wasn't a given.
A few things struck me as I continued reading the book. First, as Jeanie and Nicole had alluded to, magic was controlled by willpower and mind more than anything else. Which, I supposed, made sense. Second, the book mentioned several times that innate ability was the groundwork, but with practice and discipline, a magical without much power could stand toe-to-toe with someone who had a lot of power but didn't practice.
The one thing I wasn't getting was the concept of a Master. The book referenced it often as a teacher of sorts, but I also got the impression a Master was a parent or a guardian, especially as the book discussed the best foods a Master should feed their apprentice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Just as I finished the first chapter, the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period. My own meal was left forgotten, and the book in my hand was too big to hide in my backpack.
"Okay, go home," I said to it. It didn't move from my hands. "Go home," I repeated, more forcefully. A particular tingling feeling emanated from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I closed my eyes and let the new feeling wash over me.
The warmth of the sun was gone, and I cracked open an eye. Everything was dark—I was also still wearing my sunglasses. I pulled them off, hoping when I did, I'd be at school and not…
Nope, I'd somehow magicked not only my spell book but also myself all the way back home to my bedroom.
"Crap!" I said, throwing the book onto my bed and trying not to panic. I could handle this. I could get myself back to school.
"Okay…go back to school!" I said loudly.
I waited for the tingling feeling, but felt nothing. My hands weren't even glowing.
"Go back to school!"
Nothing. My heart began to thud against my ribcage. I was skipping school, and I might've had a test in French this period. A test, of course, I'd barely studied for, so was going to fail anyway.
"Not helping!"
I willed myself to go again. And again, nothing happened.
Over and over again, I tried to take myself back to school, but I remained in my bedroom. As the minutes passed, the panic escalated until I was nearly hyperventilating and was now wondering if I'd magicked away my magic.
Was that even possible? I buried my head in my hands. Not only was I skipping school and missing a quiz, but I'd somehow ruined my own gift not even twenty-four hours after receiving it.
I took a deep breath, in the feeble attempt to get a grip. I couldn't have lost my magic. That made no sense.
And yet, I can't even make my fingers glow.
I shook away that thought. Okay. If this had happened before I'd had magic, how would I have resolved the problem? My inner voice taunted me—I never would've been in this predicament before because I didn't believe magic existed.
I'd have to call somebody. But who?
Jeanie would probably yell at me.
Marie would laugh, tell all her friends, and hang up.
Nicole! Nicole would understand.
I rushed to the phone and dialed the familiar number, praying she would pick up.
"Hello?" Nicole said.
"Hey," I whispered. "It's me."
"Lexie, what are you... Why are you calling me from home? Is everything all right?"
"No, I'm...I'm home," I said, feeling the tears well in my eyes. "And I don't know how I got here!"
Nicole was silent on the other end of the line, and I started to feel stupid.
"What do you mean, you don't know how you got there?" Nicole asked.
"I was sitting at lunch," I said, my voice gradually growing higher. "And the bell rang, and I...just...appeared at home. And I think I lost my magic."
"Lexie, really," Nicole said, sounding annoyed.
"Can you come drive me to school?" I said. "I don't know how I can—"
"Are you kidding me? You want me to drive forty-five minutes to get you so I can drive you three miles to school? Are your legs broken, too?"
"What?"
"I know you've got magic now, but just because you can't figure out how to transport yourself back to school doesn't mean I have to drop everything and come get you. Why don't you just walk?"
"W-walk?" I said, the concept foreign to me.
"Yes, like you did before you got magic," Nicole snapped before hanging up the phone.
Walking—that made sense. Why didn't I think of that? Stupidly, I shouldered my backpack and rushed to school, hoping I could make it before the test was over.
5
By the time I made it back to school, I'd missed most of French, and Ms. Benoit wouldn't let me take the test in the last few minutes. I slunk to the back of the room, sweaty, red-faced, and angry. Not only was my magic on the fritz, I was failing French.
Not even Mills and learning about the Rhode Island colony could pull me from my distracted focus. I spent most of the class staring at my fingers and imagining I saw purple sparks. When Mills called on me to answer a question, I stuttered stupidly for an eternity before he chided me for not paying attention and moved on to someone else.
When my day from hell finally ended, I trudged out to Marie's car, praying she hadn't left me. As I waited by her gleaming red car, I wondered if she'd used magic to make it. When I turned sixteen, would I be able to snap my fingers and get a Porsche?
I stared at my fingers and groaned. I couldn't even summon a book; a car was a far-off fantasy.
Marie was alone when she deigned to grace me with her presence, and for that, I was grateful. She and I clambered inside and said nothing to each other for over half the ride home. But my face must've betrayed my mood, because Marie turned down the music and snapped, "What's your problem?"
"Nothing."
"Are you pissed off because nobody sang you happy birthday?"
I made a noncommittal noise and looked at my fingers. "So, magic."
"What about it?"
"You have it?"
I felt her side-eye from across the car. "What's your point?"
"I mean, do you have it like me, or do you have it like Nicole? She said you're a healer."
A pause. "Nicole's the only one who can't summon and conjure."
"Oh."
More silence between us. I ran my fingers along the leather on the car door and imagined how Marie might've created it. "So did you click your fingers and this car appeared or what?"
"Oh my God, Lexie, you're such an idiot," Marie said with a giggle. "You can't just make stuff appear. Don't you know anything?"
I bristled. "Considering no one had the courtesy to tell me about magic before two days ago…"
"I know, and it was so much fun to do magic around you," Marie said, twirling a lock of her hair. "You were such a moron."
I didn't take the bait.
"I can feel you practicing magic, you know. Wonder if Jeanie would want to know about it…"
"Come on, Marie, you know I can't control it."
"And why not? It's so easy."
"Oh yeah?" I said, lacking a better comeback.
Marie knew she'd won this round, and smiled smugly. "I thought you could do everything."
"I never said I could."
"Sure act like it."
"Well, I can't do this, obviously."
"Obviously."
We spent the rest of the drive in silence. I shouldn't have expected Marie would help me, but it pissed me off that she'd been so…herself. For once, couldn't my sister be a bit more selfless?
She parked in front of our house, and I couldn't get out of the car soon enough.
"Hey," Marie said, rolling down the window. "Tell Jeanie I won't be home for dinner."
"Okay."
She glared at me. "Don't you care?"
"Why would I?"
"Because…it's your birthday? Don't you want us to go out and have a big family dinner?"
I shrugged and marched into the house. After dropping my bag next to the staircase, I went straight to my room to lie down on, thankful for the quiet and the dark. I had homework, I had things to read and prepare for tomorrow, but I was drained. I wasn't sure how long I lay there, feeling sorry for myself. Eventually, a car door slammed below and the stairs creaked as someone walked up them.
Jeanie opened my door, looking not-too-happy. "Nicole told me you decided to take a field trip today," she said, before I could open my mouth.
"I didn't mean to," I said. "I was…trying to send something home and I ended up going home and—"
"And why were you using magic at school in the first place?"
"Because…because I don't know. It just happened?"
"Magic doesn't just happen, Alexis. Magic happens because you will it to. And obviously, you're lacking in the willpower department."
"Jeanie, my magic's gone! I don't know what happened to it—"
"Your magic isn't gone," Jeanie said, pinching the bridge of her nose. "But it will be if you don't quit acting out. There were two ground rules. What were they?"
"Jeanie—"
"What were they?"
I groaned loudly. "Don't use magic on another person, and don't do magic at school."
"And what did you do?"
"I…I didn't mean to!"
"You aren't listening to me, Lexie," Jeanie said. "Why were you even using magic at school? Especially when you have so little control over it."
I didn't have a good response to that. It was true some of my magic happened uncontrollably—the glowing fingers—but I'd made a willful decision to summon my book to me. Hindsight being twenty-twenty and all…
"We're going out to eat for your birthday," Jeanie said, sounding more like she didn't want to. "Where do you want to go?"
"I'm not really hungry," I replied, picking at my comforter.
"Fine, if you're going to be like that, we won't go anywhere." She slammed the door behind her and I jumped a few inches from the sound. I hated being the object of Jeanie's disappointment, and I hated it even more so because I felt caught between knowing the right thing to do, and needing to break the rules to sate my own curiosity.
A few tears fell down my cheeks, which I wiped away. Sitting around and crying wasn't going to do any good. I had the rest of the afternoon and evening to figure out what was going on with my magic. I had a really old magic book, too, so I snatched it off my desk before marching down the stairs.
"Jeanie?" I called but there was no answer.
That was a bit of a relief. Jeanie seemed on edge and might jump down my throat if I asked for her help. And if I were truly being honest with myself, Jeanie's track record with teaching wasn't the best. It was only thanks to Nicole's patience that I ever learned how to ride a bike.
She was the one I needed. "Nicole?"
No answer again. I knew I'd heard her earlier, and both her and Jea
nie's cars were in the driveway. So where could they have—
"Oh yeah."
It was going to take me some time to default to remembering that everything inexplicable happened because of magic. I didn't want Jeanie to worry (or get any angrier at me than she already was), so I left her a note telling her I'd gone for a walk to clear my head.
The park was a little farther than I'd remembered, but it was actually a pretty nice night. Some part of me was hoping Gavon might show up again, either because the park was on his evening walk, or maybe because he took pity on me. How had he known I was magical? Was it just fate that he was walking around and came across me? Were there more magical people I didn't know about in this town?
The park was empty, so I plopped down inside the gazebo and put the book out in front of me. There was a voice in my head reminding me that Jeanie had expressly forbidden me to do magic unsupervised and in the open like this, but, then again, no one was around.
"Okay, Lexie," I said, gearing myself up. "Bring my sunglasses to me." I held out my hand. When they didn't appear, I frowned and said, "Come to me, sunglasses—"
To my delight, they appeared in a puff of dark purple smoke. But somehow, I knew it wasn't my magic that had summoned them. I looked up and saw Gavon behind me, a pleasant smile on his face.
"Seems a bit late for those, don't you think?" he asked, glancing at the dark sky.
"Well, I was…" I sighed. "I think I broke my magic."
He made a sound between a cough and a laugh. "What?"
I flexed my hand in front of my face. "It's broken. I can't spark. I can't even… I think I wished it away or something."
He looked as if I'd said something ridiculous, but was trying not to make me feel bad about it. He cleared his throat and smiled. "I think you've still got plenty of magic. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting here."
"What do you mean?"
"If you lost all your magic, you'd die."
Spells and Sorcery Page 4
