by L. J. Amodeo
“Beth, where do you come off saying shit like that against the Order? The Trinity has protected your ancestors and you for a really long time. What makes you think they’re out to get you or that they could buy me?”
“Let’s see. Perhaps, it’s the fact I am the chosen one for . . . Oh, I don’t know—Satan!” I snapped with contempt and resentment. Freddie gave a questioning glance, as my words left him paralyzed.
“Are you telling me you don’t trust them, or me? Huh? Are you?” he whispered, as an inkling of fear crept into his eyes. My stomach knotted up.
“I hope you find what’s true, Beth. I hope you find it before it’s too late,” he said, slamming the door closed behind him. Physically exhausted, I crawled to my room and into my bed, thinking about the harsh words I spat at him. I no longer felt safe; it withdrew seconds after Freddie walked out. I closed my eyes as my next hazy premonition flashed into focus.
Beads of sweat dripped down my face as the excruciating pain tore at the flesh of my belly. Countless obscure faces in black robes chanted a litany to the Dark Prince, compelling flames to soar violently into the air in a masochistic ritual.
There I lay, on a stone altar; my peignoir shredded apart, exposing my distended belly. My arms and ankles tied on either side, embellishing me as the replicated image on the crucifix. I screamed incessantly with the mauling of each laceration that ripped my womb from within. As its cleaving progressed, their cantillated chants clamored tumultuously in my head.
Everything in sight spun in a rebellious symphony. I was responsive enough to recognize when the pain ebbed and warm spews of my own blood began to spill over my mutilated torso. In perfect synchronization, father and son roared a shrilling bloodcurdling cry.
The Master of Ceremony, Revio, held the Prince of Hell, high above his head and prayed with his followers for the reign of their most high and holy prince; the son of Lucifer.
Through muddled vision, the boy I stretched my eyes up to, was not one of a beast, but a beautiful child. Revio held him out toward me, so that I may look into his adoring green eyes. I became his mother and he my son. Tearful, I struggled to reach out to hold him, but I could not due to the restraints on my wrists. Instead, I smiled at him and I thought he smiled at me too. The most sincere and loving smile I had ever seen.
“Oh, my beautiful boy. I will love you forever . . .”
The blinding sun streamed through the windows of my bedroom. It was almost noon and I had slept through breakfast. Restless, I sat up recalling the premonition, feeling sick to my stomach. Images of the child’s green eyes flittered across my mind. For reassurance, I checked my stomach. “What have I done? I’m so sorry, Freddie,” I whispered to myself.
Since my arrival here, I had strolled every corner of Eden’s grounds, desperately wanting to explore the forbidden perimeters of Lake Louise. To go beyond the snowy mountains to see what was on the other side. Over time, having no communication with the outside world began to chip away at my patience, and Freddie knew it. I anticipated the day when all this would be over and I’d be free to leave Lake Louise and return to civilization. The idea of sneaking out for a midnight drive tempted me more than ever, more so with Kali here. She certainly was a temptress and her offers to sneak off the property were beginning to appeal to me. Although I didn’t like her much, I did admire her independence. I had to give her that much. More frequently than not, I found myself thinking about sneaking off in Freddie’s car. Knowing this was forbidden and would definitely upset him, I was willing to take the chance.
My routine at Eden bored me beyond control. Freddie and Kali had the freedom to come and go as they pleased. I, however, was forbidden to leave the grounds, which caused me to act out at times, like I had last night with Kali and most importantly, Freddie. Although last night was a blur, I knew something had happened that would put a strain on our once-close relationship.
Returning from my afternoon run sweaty and tired, I heard Kali and Freddie splashing around in the pool. Their laughter caught my attention from a distance. Hidden from view, I watched Freddie easily lift Kali’s tone body, throwing her playfully into the water. I peered down at my own simple, thin figure, envious of how beautifully proportioned the brunette was. Discreetly, I walked over to the poolside and sat quietly on a lounge chair, still observing the two enjoying each other's company.
Kali noticed me. “Hey, Elizabeth, come in for a swim. The water feels great!” She laughed, splashing cool water at me.
It took me all but a moment to realize that Freddie hadn’t looked at me once; keeping his eyes focused elsewhere. I remembered our last conversation which had ended on a sour note, but what occurred after that was a haze in my mind.
“Babe, go ahead, ask Bethy to come in,” she taunted him.
“It looks refreshing; maybe I will come in and cool off,” I said nervously.
Without hesitation, Freddie immediately shifted his position in the pool and snapped an annoyed look at me.
“I think I’ve had enough for today. I’m getting out,” he said coldly, stepping out of the water.
My heart withered at his resentful tone, knowing whatever it was that I did or said last night, had deeply affected him.
“Please stay,” I whispered, begging him, clutching his arm as he leapt out of the pool. He pulled his arm away from my hand, wrapped a towel around his waist and walked away.
Meanwhile, Kali watched from the pool with a victorious smirk on her face as our friendship fell apart day after day before her dark and beady eyes. I peered at her, tightening my lips, wanting to say something to her, but instead I charged after Freddie.
I knocked lightly on his bedroom door. I could hear the shower running when I entered. Knowing I’d be unwelcome, I entered the bathroom anyway and sat on the floor, waiting for him to finish showering.
“I’m sorry, Freddie. I don't know what I did or what happened last night, but I can tell whatever I said, hurt you. I don't want it to be like this anymore. I want my life back; the life I shared with you since we were kids. I would give anything to get that back. Honestly, I would!” I gulped back tears.
Freddie turned the shower off and reached for a towel. When he pulled the curtain back, he stared blankly at me without uttering a word. His hard stare sent chills up my spine. I had never seen him so detached and angry with me before. He walked out into the bedroom, leaving me sitting on the floor. I followed him into the room.
“Aren’t you going to say something? Talk to me, Freddie! Yell at me, I don’t care, but we can’t stay like this forever!”
“Do you mind, I’d like to get dressed,” he remarked, snidely.
“I’m not leaving this room until you speak to me. I’ll turn around so you can dress, but I’m not going anywhere until we talk about this!”
“Whatever!” he snapped, unexpectedly dropping the towel on the floor. With my hands splayed across my eyes, I turned to give him some privacy.
Once he was done buttoning his jeans, I turned to face him while he slipped on a black tee over his taut chest. I walked to stand in front of him, blocking the doorway with my body. He rolled his eyes, hung his thumbs from the belt notches of his jeans, titling his head low, biting his lips, and trying his hardest to abstain from an oncoming argument. He looked gorgeous.
“What is it that you want to talk about?” His voice rumbled low.
“Us. What happened last night?”
“Come on, Beth, you really expect me to believe you don’t remember?” His voice sounded resentful.
“Honestly, I only remember coming into your room and laying on your bed. Everything else is a blur.”
“Really? You don’t recall seducing me and then telling me that you didn’t trust me? That you think the Trinity is out to get you? Come on, stop with the acting!”
“No, I don’t remember!”
“You honestly don’t remember saying that to me, Beth?”
“I mean . . . I remember some things—but it’s not like th
at, Freddie. You know I trust you with my life. What I meant to say just didn’t come out right. I actually wanted to ask you what if I’m not safe here? Then what? That’s what I meant to say, but it came out all wrong.”
Freddie’s hands gripped my shoulders. “Then listen to me, I told you once before you can control your destiny. If you love me, really love me then do it. Change it. For me, Beth. For us.”
With those last words etched in my brain, he walked out, leaving me paralyzed and uncertain.
When angels visit us, we do not hear the rustle of wings, nor feel the feathery touch of the breast of a dove; but we know their presence by the love they create in our hearts
~ Unknown
With a numb heart, I watched from the bedroom window as Freddie and Kali drove away from the grounds for the umpteenth time, leaving me behind. Kali, with her sinister glare flickering in her eyes, smiled at me from the car window before exiting the estate with my Freddie.
I laid on my bed with a silence that was driving me mad. The voices rarely spoke to me these days, and yet, at times, they were a comforting presence. They didn’t make me feel alone. I missed them.
I dreamt of Michael again, envisioning him at my side; touching, kissing, and loving me like he once had. I yearned for him even more tonight. Opening my journal that had been tucked away in my nightstand, I skimmed through the pages, praying for my angel to find his way back to me. I cried most nights until my head ached and my eyes burned. I hated this life. I despised who I had become. I wanted redemption; I wanted to live free again . . . free from all this. I closed my eyes wishing for better things to come.
“Michael . . . l . . . l,” My voice echoed his name, as he pushed a beautiful baby boy on the swings. He turned to look at me with a serene smile on his lips. “Michael . . . l.” Again my voice echoed to him, but he did not respond this time; he continued to push the giggling toddler higher in to the air. I continued toward them, happy we were finally a family.
“I am here. I'm coming!” I rejoiced, as Michael’s calm expression suddenly turned grim, and my final step forward locked; paralyzing me in place.
“What’s happening? Why can’t I move?” I panicked, reaching my arms out to Michael and the child.
A blinding light erupted before my eyes like an explosion, jolting me ten feet in the air. I hit the ground hard as the child leapt forward, like a disfigured dragon, snapping its frothing fangs at me. Ear-piercing screeches manifested in a bloodcurdling choral, breaking my eardrums from their deafening cries. ‘Hellions!’ a booming voice rattled out among the chaos. Michael swiftly reached for and slammed the beast to the ground with enormous ferocity, holding his spear over him—ready to plunge the blade through his chest. He looked up at me with sorrow in his eyes as he lifted the sword to strike what would become my child’s heart. I screamed . . .
“Miss Elizabeth, wake up. You are having another nightmare . . . please wake up!” Faith stroked my face as she tried to awaken me.
Perspiration drenched my body as my lungs inhaled aggressively for air. I opened my eyes, still screaming for Michael to stop. “No! No! Don’t hurt him!” I cried, reaching out to nothing more than air, terrified at the message the dream had delivered.
“Elizabeth, you’re dreaming. It’s only a dream,” Faith urged, as she tried to calm me down, “Ssssh! Focus . . . look around. You are safe in your bed. It’s only a dream.” Faith pressed my face to her chest, caressing my cheek.
“Perhaps a warm shower will refresh you. I guarantee you’ll feel better if you do. Then go for a walk. Walk to the east of the sun. There you will find your strength; your purpose, and your inner peace. Get some fresh air.” Faith smiled. She’d never spoken so wisely or intimately to me, before. Yet, something in her words warmed my soul, but made me curious, too. Walk to the east of the sun.
I nodded breathlessly.
It was late afternoon when I found myself strolling through unfamiliar grounds of Eden. The dense wooded area stretched for miles in the distance. I walked upward, toward the East sun, as Faith suggested for some time until I came to the edge of a cliff. I stood at the top, looking down at the lagoon below. The sight was breathtaking. I was high above sea level. The cliff opened up to spectacular views of towering trees and other waterfalls. Ones I had never seen before. The walk uphill, took a toll on my aching feet. I needed to rest for a while, so I sat at the edge of the cliff, while memories of my past in Caneadea danced in my head. Here, I was surrounded by nature and peace, and yet, I felt no happiness in my heart. I feared I had already lost my soul and the one most important person in my life. I was confused and desperate, and Freddie only added to my suffering. I leaned forward, looking down at the length of the cliff, considering for a moment doing the unthinkable. If my mom hadn’t protected me in those final moments, this war between Heaven and Hell would not exist. Did I want to sacrifice myself for the sake of humanity? I wasn’t sure, but an overpowering force suddenly held me back from attempting to harm myself, even though I knew ending my life would ultimately result in Luca’s defeat. I slid back on the rocky cliff and prayed . . . prayed for answers.
Before long, a cool breeze picked up, bringing my thoughts back to my current problem. I rose to my feet to head back to Eden, when I heard it. ‘Ĕlîšāḇa’, a voice chanted through the breeze from beyond the trees. I whipped my head around to look for the voice that spoke to me.
“Who’s there?” I asked nervously.
The soft crushes of earth and leaves resounded around me, like footsteps circling about.
Again, I whipped around toward the sounds of crushing leaves and rock, but only air brushed past me.
“Freddie, is that you? If this is some kind of joke, ha ha you got me!”
The footsteps moved closer. I spun toward the noise. No one was there.
“All right, I give up, Freddie or Kali. Game over!” I stuttered in fear, breaking out in a sweat despite the chills that ran down my spine.
“Come closer,” the voice demanded past the trees.
“How about you come out so I can see you?”
Something quickly brushed past my hair. “Please stop that.” I whispered through quivering lips. “Who are you?” I found the strength in my voice to yell, taking a step back, causing loose rocks and pebbles to topple over the cliff. I hadn’t realized how close I had gotten to the edge as I steadied my balance.
A panic rose in my chest—a fear for my life. They found me! My inner voice screamed. I took another step back, closer to the edge still. This time in complete control of each move. The footsteps seemed to be directly in front of me. I looked back down at the steep cliff, balancing myself.
“I’m warning you, don’t come any closer! I swear . . . I’ll jump!”
“You’re willing to sacrifice yourself? You have so much yet to do.” The voice spoke gently. I swallowed back a lump of fear.
“I will if I have to!” I hissed back at the shadow.
Out of the darkness of the forest, a figure stepped through. At the sight of his face, my knees suddenly buckled and I fell dangerously close to the edge of the cliff. Swiftly, his arms scooped around under me, catching my fall.
I stared up at him, blinking, and trying to focus on his face, which was obstructed by the glare of the sun.
“No, not again, I can’t go through this again. They found me, haven’t they!” I cried shaking my head to and fro.
“No, Elizabeth. They haven’t,” his voice chanted as beautifully as I remembered it.
Reaching up, I stroked his face, making sure he was real and not a hallucination. He responded by holding my hand against his cheek, but then everything went black.
In a haze of confusion, I found myself slumped on the steps of the Trinity’s chapel. Voices echoed from an open door to the far left of the altar. Slowly, I lifted myself and stumbled dazedly toward the voices that amplified with each letter and pronunciation of every word, into the deepest depths of my eardrums. The pulsating thumps and swooshes of
my heartbeat intensified with each step I took toward the door.
Without uttering a word, I stood at the doorway, listening as the Trinity’s council and my angel discussed my life. My fate.
“Mikeal, we have summoned you before the High Council. Our concerns are great and we fear your physical embodiment has put you in a state of vulnerability, possessing human weaknesses. If you were to succumb to any human emotions your actions might result in catastrophic events resulting in the demise of the entire Order. You are here by ordered by the members of the council not to tamper with the Akashic Records! Is that clear! Quis potest dicere non pronuntiat amore finis humanae,” Erez’s shaky voice roared a warning to Michael.
Loudly, I gasped at the elder’s warning. “Michael!” I shouted, clutching my chest. “What are you planning to do?” I stammered, taking unsteadying steps toward the council. My limbs felt stiff and tender, as if I had lost control of my own mobility. Every movement I made hurt. With my presence suddenly known, the entire council stood up, including my father. In an instant, Michael stood before me, staring in stunned disbelief.
“Elizabeth? How . . . is it possible you’re here? You’re not supposed to be here!” Michael’s voice grew strained in a way I’d never heard it before.
The taller gentleman, known as Bricius, stood up pointing his finger at me. My blood turned cold. “Ĕlîšāḇa! Illa confregit scutum ingressum non ABSTERGO SUA!” He shouted his accusatory words at me. “Only one with such a dark soul can compromise our realm and seduce the Shield of the Key!” The member spat in anger.
In a death-like stillness, no one dared say a word. With my heart slamming inside my chest, I reached out to touch Michael’s hand, his skin burning while his body trembled an unhinged fury. With an eruption of anger, the silence was broken as Michael’s body rose up to massive heights, “NO! Tu non permittitur ego formit vos!”
Startled by his unaccustomed rage, Michael’s voice roared, making everything around us vibrate. The ground beneath my feet trembled, as my mind spiraled in reverse. The dizziness escalated to rolling waves, as if time slowed down. Yet everything else around me spun with great velocity, causing me to fall hard to the ground. As before, Michael quickly caught me in his arms, but before he could utter a word, my body painfully jerked away from his at lightning speed, ending abruptly as I slammed into something hard.
