by K. K. Allen
He shakes his head, slowly, allowing it to set in.
“How do you know this for sure?”
“I learned a lot throughout my time away and spoke to scientists who explained how our magic works.”
The combination of this conversation, my overwhelming emotions, and my feeling of helplessness evokes a rage in me that comes close to my first Fourth of July in Apollo Beach, the first night I witnessed the intensity of our magic. I let out a half scream, half growl, and feel the need to hit something, but everything surrounding me is too beautiful to destroy. I grab my amethyst instead, focusing on it, allowing it to calm me.
“Kat, I need to tell you something.” His voice cracks, and I feel like whatever he’s about to say might break my heart. No. He needs to know everything I’m feeling first. I don’t want to hold back anymore, and I’m afraid he’s about to slip away.
I take a deep breath and peel my cheek away from his chest, but my eyes can’t look up into his. They can’t tell Johnny how badly I want to move forward with him, because the pile of boxes in the corner of the room catches my attention first.
With a swift turn, I see one pile of boxes become several piles, scattered down the hallway and at the foot of the great room cabinets. I quickly scan my surroundings. There are moving boxes everywhere, and they’re addressed to somewhere other than Apollo Beach. I gasp and throw my hands up over my mouth. I think I’m going to scream, or cry, or punch something.
This is it. The end. He needs to tell me something, but I’ve already guessed it.
A soft cry escapes my throat as I consider which way to turn and run. He’s blocking the front door, so I pass through the house until I find a door that releases me to the back patio. I’m still running until I reach the beach, beneath a shower of rain that does all the crying for me. I can’t run anymore. I can’t breathe anymore. Instead, I fall to my knees, imprinting the sand with the weight of my devastation, and cry.
Johnny is leaving. Again.
Chapter Fourteen
“Kat!” His voice is growing closer. The sand is rough and soggy, and my shoes and pants are caked with it. The rain pelts me as if trying to drown what’s left of me—my wreckage.
Everything is so fuzzy. I’m not sure what falls faster: the rain or my tears. It’s happening again. He’s leaving again, before we even had a chance. Why did he have to come back?
“Kat, what are you doing?” He falls to his knees in front of me, grabbing my shoulders, my head, then my face. “Look at me!” he commands with a desperation that forces me to obey.
His eyes glow in the moonlight. He’s frightened, or confused. I’m not sure anymore. A minute ago I thought our feelings and wants were one. Now, I continue to stare back at him, unable to speak, unable to untangle the confusion and pain.
His fingers lightly brush my cheeks, the wrinkle between his brows deepening. “You have to tell me what I can do to stop hurting you.” His words travel straight to my heart. “There’s so much I want to say to you, but I don’t know if you’re ready to trust me.”
How does he not know what I need from him? Why can’t he understand that what I want isn’t up to me? “Why do you need me to trust you when you’re just going to leave again?” The rain is loud, but not loud enough to drown out my words.
He sinks lower into the sand, bringing his face closer to mine. “I’m not going anywhere.” His eyes move quickly between mine as he speaks. “Is that what you need me to say?” He touches his forehead to mine and almost whispers his next words. “I’m never leaving you again, Kat.”
Our energy practically crackles through the air. For a moment, I allow his words to sink in, and then I remember the reason we’re out here. I pull away, staring back into his eyes. “What about the boxes in your house? Aren’t you moving?”
He sighs, as if finally understanding. “Oh, Kat. No. This has never been my home. I mean, technically it was, but I was so young … I’m packing up their things. I’ll keep some stuff, but I can’t be surrounded by it if I want to make a home for myself.”
“So you’re staying?”
Johnny doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he pulls my face to his, and he’s kissing me with every ounce of passion I feel. He’s filling my mouth with his answer, stroking my tongue with his need. He needs me. His hands move from my cheeks to my hair, and then down to my waist, gripping me with both hands. In one swift move, I’m in his arms and being carried up the beach, onto his back patio, and into his parent’s home… into his home.
I land in a sitting position onto a cold and hard surface, but we’re still kissing, and I dare not ruin this moment by checking out my surroundings. It doesn’t matter where we are as long as his lips are on mine. We can shut out the world.
Even though we’re out of the rain, water continues to run down my cheeks. I know I’m still crying, but not because I’m sad. He’s my everything, and I’m in his arms. Nothing could be more perfect than this moment.
I reach my hand up his neck and into his hair, kneading it to the rhythm of our kiss. As close as we are, it’s not close enough. He feels it too. There’s a groan before he pulls his lips away, but he doesn’t move away completely. He wraps me in his arms and buries his head in the space between my neck and shoulder.
His breath is heavy against my skin. I squirm, but his grip tightens, cementing me to his body. I can see now that we’re in the kitchen, and I’m sitting on the island counter.
“You didn’t answer my question,” I tease, a hint of a smile playing on my lips.
He pulls away, eyes wide. “Yes! I’m staying.” He’s shaking his head. “Hasn’t it been clear from the first night I saw you at the dance? I would have kissed you then, apologized, but I noticed how angry Alec was when he saw us together. In that moment I knew you had moved on, and I thought I was too late. Even when I heard you two broke up, I didn’t think I stood a chance.”
As I let out a heavy sigh, I take a moment to collect myself. Closing my eyes. Opening them. And then I reach up to touch Johnny’s face, caressing his stubble, loving the roughness against his perfect skin.
“Johnny, I don’t know how to tell you this. It’s everyone else who doesn’t stand a chance because I’m completely yours. I’ve always been yours.” Something in his expression melts, and he leans in to kiss me, but I move my head. I’m not done. He stills. It’s my turn to make him wait. “What I feel for you terrifies me. My hesitation had everything to do with that.”
He squeezes his eyes together and rests his forehead against mine again. “I told everyone I wasn’t going anywhere. I told your dad, Arabella. I even told Alec!”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Everyone but me.”
He laughs too. “I guess you’re right, but do you really think I would take a job at the energy plant if I wasn’t staying?”
This argument is silly at this point. Even if he failed to mention it to me before, he’s making himself perfectly clear tonight. Johnny is here to stay. “So you’re moving in here, huh? No more yacht?”
He shrugs. “I’ll keep the yacht. But I want to try this out for awhile.”
I lift my head, looking around. “You think you can handle all of this by yourself?”
There’s a playful twitch of his lips as he speaks. “You can always come over and cook for me.” He plants a kiss on my nose. “And clean.” He laughs, then kisses my cheek. “I’ll even let you tuck me in.”
I push him away, laughing now. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You haven’t even given me a tour.” I hop down from the counter only to greet his arms as they wrap around my shoulders.
He stares down at me, looking relaxed and happy. I know I share the same look. Then I swing my eyes around, taking in the exquisite detail of the textured walls and light fixtures. “You’ll need a wife and five kids to fill this house up.”
“And don’t forget a butler and three hot maids.” He grins.
I glare at him. “Stop.”
He chuckles. “I’ve missed you.”
&
nbsp; When he moves away from me and into the next room. I follow, my eyes lingering on the living room walls as I pass, each one filled with family photos. A photo of Johnny and his parents at what looks to be a pizza restaurant catches my eye and I stop in my tracks. Johnny looks about six years old in the photo, with a buzz cut and a smile that fills his entire face.
“Your parents are beautiful.”
I’m not sure where Johnny is as I speak, but he must be listening because I can feel him approach, then hover over my shoulder to view the photo on the fireplace. “That’s exactly how I remember them. My mom, always with a smile on her face. My dad, content, but rarely showing any emotion. He was very quiet,” he says with a smile. I can’t see him, but I can tell when he smiles by how he enunciates his words. “That pizzeria burnt down. It was my favorite place.”
With a glance over my shoulder, I smile. “Your dad reminds me of someone I know.”
Johnny gives me a gentle nod, then tilts his head. It’s impossible to stare at his face and not want to kiss those lips. He frowns, as if suddenly remembering something. “We should go before your dad calls.”
As much as I want to stay here with him forever, I let Johnny walk me home. We make small talk the entire way about the Island Grille and whether Johnny will continue to work there now that he has a full time job with my father. Johnny isn’t sure yet what he’ll do, but if Roy needs him, he says he’ll be there.
We stand facing each other on the top steps at the entrance of Summer Estate. Johnny is one step below me, his hands wrapped around my waist. “What are you doing for New Year’s Eve?” he asks.
“I’m meeting up with my friends at the Summer Island Festival. At least I think I’m still invited.” I frown. I haven’t talked to anyone about it since before winter break. “It’s an all-day event. My family will be there too. Will you come?”
He grins. Had he been waiting for an invite? “Yes. I’ll be there after work, give you some time with your friends before I steal you away at midnight.” He winks at me and I blush, unable to hide it this time.
“Goodnight, Katrina.”
His piercing blue eyes gaze hungrily into mine as if he wants to devour me in the best way. He leans in boldly, his intentions clear as he stares down at my lips. The energy between us is as electrifying as ever.
The front door of Summer Estate opens to reveal my dad standing inside, and I have to hold back a pout. Johnny’s disappointed face is so priceless that I duck into the house, grinning.
I hear my dad thanking Johnny for escorting me home, but before he’s even shut the door I’m running to the haven of my bedroom, avoiding a discussion with my father that might lead me to confessing that I found my way to the north side of town.
Chapter Fifteen
I love everything about my treehouse. It’s exactly what my dad dreamt it would be for me: a home away from home, where I can go to think, dream, reflect, and read. I can see myself doing all of those things here.
I’ve already taken to the windowsill that faces the bay. My knees are tucked up close to my chin while Primo Levi’s memoir, The Periodic Table, lies between them. I’m sucked into the prose and his theories of how the elements relate to human nature and his own life. Perhaps most interestingly, he illustrates conflicting morals in reference to zinc. Although it is pure, it resists other elements. He compares the element to purity versus impurity, explaining that “for life to be lived, impurities are needed.”
It’s hard not to think of my own makeup. Half Enchanter, half Equinox. One would think the combination of our energies would react like zinc, two purely opposite beings. Then again, they say opposites attract. Erebus is attracted to our light, but that’s also what he hates about us, because he envies it. And although history has changed the way we see things, making Enchanters despise the Equinox, there was a time when we were equals.
“Surprise.”
Hearing Johnny’s voice is a surprise. I wasn’t expecting company today. When I see him, my pulse quickens as it always does. It’s like he has control of the thermometer to my heart. He looks good in jeans. Even better since he’s holding up two reusable grocery store bags, the only type of bags allowed in Apollo Beach.
My mouth practically salivates at the sight of fresh fruit peeking through the top of the sack. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until now. “You brought food.”
He chuckles and sets the bags down on the table. “Yes. All kinds.”
I scramble to my feet and begin digging through the bags. “Didn’t you have to work today?”
Johnny shrugs. “There was some emergency meeting for the Elders, so Paul shooed the rest of us out. Fine with me. I can spend some time with my girl.”
My girl. The words set every fiber of my body into a buzzing frenzy. Is it possible that after all this time we’re actually having a normal relationship?
I fix us a plate of crackers and cheese and invite him over to my oversized red bean bag chair. He grabs a bunch of grapes on the way and tosses them into his mouth, one by one, as he sits and slides over to me. We laugh at the waves he creates with his movements.
“Welcome to my treehouse,” I say proudly.
“I’ve been here, remember?” He winks.
I haven’t forgotten about his part in building this treehouse for me. I’m certain he’s responsible for the stargazing room.
“That’s right. You’ve become my father’s right-hand man, haven’t you?”
I’m surprised when he doesn’t give me his usual overconfident response. Instead, his face turns serious as he looks me straight in the eye. “I thought he’d never give me a chance after leaving you. I see how much he cares about you and wants to protect you. When I first met him,” Johnny shudders, “I knew I’d have a lot of making up to do. Not just to you, but to Paul. He didn’t know me, but I didn’t want to just be the guy who broke his daughter’s heart, you know?”
“Who says you broke my heart?”
Now Johnny is the one to look embarrassed. “I didn’t mean it that way. Just that maybe that’s how he saw it, that’s all.”
The look on his face is crushing. I should put him out of his misery. “You never broke my heart because I always hung onto the hope you’d come back.” My honesty surprises me. It’s true. “Deep down I always knew you would.” Johnny’s stare is intense as he locks eyes on me. My breathing grows heavy as I stare from his eyes to his lips and then back to his eyes. He is so hot.
He moves the plate from between us and sets it on the floor, then scoots in closer to me. Even though he doesn’t touch me I can feel tingles in the places he only scans with his eyes. He leans in so that his mouth is beside my ear. My eyes press together tightly, waiting for his lips to caress me.
“Not a single day went by where I didn’t dream of doing this.” His lips find the soft spot between my collarbone and my neck. Then he drags his lips up my neck until he’s kissing my earlobe, tugging it gently with the suction of his lips. When his mouth finds mine, I’m already soft as pudding in his hold, letting him guide me with his mouth, allowing his passion to fill my soul. I belong to him. Nothing has been more clear since his return to Apollo Beach.
We hold each other for hours as if we’re making up for lost time. We read passages from The Periodic Table until we fall asleep in each other’s arms, only to wake up a couple hours later, hungry again.
As I fix us something to eat from Johnny’s bag of goodies, he explores the space. “Have you done any stargazing?” he asks from the back room of the treehouse where my telescope sits.
“Not yet. It’s going to be a clear night tonight.” I grin at him.
He nods, eyes wide. “I’ve been dying to get under a telescope again.”
Astronomy just became my new favorite hobby. The thought of lying beneath the stars in his arms as we trace the constellations with our eyes sends a welcome chill through every inch of my body.
To distract myself, I make us peanut butter sandwiches with a side of our left
over cheese and crackers. When I approach him, he’s got his eyes on the shelf that belongs to my mother’s journals, and his hands on a small box on the floor. “What’s this?” he asks, eyeing the binding of one of the journals with my mother’s name and the year of the entries.
“Those are my mom’s old journals. I still need to sort through the rest of that box. It’s just a bunch of jewelry, photos, and trinkets. My dad and I found them in my mom’s storage locker in North Carolina.”
Something in his eyes tell me he’s more curious than I am to inspect her things. “Have you read the journals yet?”
I shake my head.
“You’re not even curious?”
I shrug and shove one of the plates into his hands. “I am. I just haven’t done it yet. But now that you bring it up … Will you help me sort through the box first?”
I’m not sure what my hesitation is to read the journals. In the back of my mind I wonder if her thoughts are something she would want me to read or if I’ll be let into a part of her life she wanted to keep private.
We sit beside each other on the floor, eating our sandwiches and sorting through my mother’s things. I pull out the jewelry box and place it to the side. There’s nothing here I want to look over now. That’s more of a job for Rose, who will understand what all this jewelry is and what possible value my mother saw in it. Maybe she’ll know why my mother hid it away and never wore it.
“Wow. Is this your mom? Kat, you look just like her.” Johnny holds up a photo of my mom, a close-up that my father probably took of her. She looks happier and more carefree than I ever witnessed in the sixteen years we spent together.
“That’s her. Rose and my dad both say I’m a spitting image of her. Sometimes when my dad looks at me, he gets this dreamy, far-away look in his eye. I think he kept loving her through all these years.”
Johnny looks at me, and I see a flicker in his eyes as if he’s just thought of something. Then he shakes it away and goes back to thumbing through photographs. I look over at the row of journals and pick up the first, dated back to the summer of 1996, the summer my mother landed on Apollo Beach with no memory of who she was or where she came from.
