by Regan Ure
I wasn't sure exactly what we were. We had feelings for each other but I didn't know exactly what that meant. Was it casual or was it more? No guy had ever pulled feelings from me like Jared did. My inexperience and the answer to the question stopped me from asking. I didn't want to be something that he saw as casual.
I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep. Every cell in my body was hyperaware of every slight movement he made beside me. Somehow I managed to fall asleep.
Later, in the middle of the night, I woke up. I felt strange again and I tried to move but Jared was holding me from behind, his arm draped loosely around my waist. Slowly I looked back to see he was sleeping. I eased out of his hold, disgusted by his touch but trying not to wake him. Once I had climbed out of the bed, I stopped and turned to make sure I hadn't woken him up, but he moved slightly and then stilled.
The burning need to find Mason overwhelmed the nothingness inside. Finding him was the only thing that mattered. Quietly, I walked to my bedroom window and opened the curtains to peer out the open window. Across the street, standing near a streetlight, was Mason. The sight of him urged me to him.
I turned around and saw Jared was still in the bed, sleeping. I crept to the other side of my room and tried to open the door. It was locked. How was it locked? My hands released the handle and saw my key was missing from the lock. I never locked my door.
"You looking for this?" asked Jared quietly, taking me by surprise. I turned to see him holding something in his hand as he sat facing me in the bed. I didn't move. From the moonlight that filtered through my bedroom window, I could see what he was holding in his hand. It was the key to my bedroom door.
"You can't keep me here," I stated. I was adamant. He gave a hollow laugh and climbed out of the bed and walked toward me until he stood a couple of feet in front of me. He was tall and formidable. I could feel the power emanating from him as his eyes held mine.
"Yes, I can," he stated matter-of-factly. He had that cocky look on his face. He was stronger than me. He was right, he could make me do whatever he wanted. I had to think of a way around this. The need within me burned deeper, turning desperate.
"You have to let me go," I insisted calmly.
He didn't bother to respond and remained where he was, watching me with hard eyes.
"I belong to him. I need to get to him," I told him coldly. There was a moment of hurt on his face at my words before it disappeared.
"You don't belong to him," he whispered as he stared at me intently. There was emotion in his voice. He felt something for me, but I felt nothing for him. My mind started to think through scenarios to use his feelings for me against him.
"I have to get to him. You don't understand," I said, trying to reason with him, because physically there was no way for me to fight him. But even as my words left my mouth, I could see he wasn't going to let me go.
I couldn't explain the burning need growing stronger inside of me that propelled me to Mason. If he wouldn't let me go, I had to find a way out.
Mason. He was waiting for me.
"By keeping him from me you're hurting me," I told him, my voice level and calm.
I slowly edged around Jared as he continued to watch me.
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm protecting you."
Did he realize what I was going to do? He didn't make a move to stop me; instead, his eyes followed my slow movements.
"Just let me go to him and I'll be better," I said, trying a slightly different route.
A couple of feet away from my open bedroom window, my eyes snuck a quick glance at my only escape out of the room.
I was still contemplating how quickly I could get out the window before Jared could stop me. When I reached the window, I peered out, hoping to get one last glimpse of Mason, but he wasn't there. Instead, in the garden outside my window leaning against the wall was Tyler.
Damn!
I turned to face Jared, who was still watching me with his arms crossed and a watchful gaze on his face. He hadn't moved. He didn't need to because even if by some small miracle I had made it out of the window, Tyler would have been there to stop me. There was nothing I could do. For a while I stood beside the window, staring out of it. Jared stood a few feet behind me.
When I felt my emotions rush back, they overwhelmed me so much that I leaned forward. Jared grabbed onto my arm just in time. If it hadn't been for Jared's quick reaction I was pretty sure I would have fallen out of my window.
Jared steadied me as he turned me to face him. His eyes searched mine. He was probably trying to figure out which one I was. The warm and emotional girl who cared for him, or the cold monster that couldn't stand to be touched by him.
The fact that I didn't yank my arm right out of his hand should have screamed to him that I was myself again, but he just stood there, looking at me with unsure eyes. I smiled at him then I felt his arms wrap around me. I hugged my arms around his waist as he held me tightly.
"You're mine," he whispered to me. I remembered what I'd said to him.
"Yes, I'm yours," I agreed with him. When I was able to choose, I would always choose him.
"I hate it," he said. "It's like watching you physically leave your body, and all that remains is a shell of you. It kills me to watch it happen."
"I know." It was all I could say in response to that. I didn't want to remind him that unless by some small miracle we found a way to stop it, I would become that shell more and more often than not, until that was all that was left of me: a shell.
I squeezed him harder, needing to hold on to him as I thought about the inevitable. It was still dark. I glanced at the clock next to my bed to see it was three in the morning.
"We need to try and get some sleep," I said as I slowly unwrapped my arms from around his waist. He released his hold on me and led me to my bed. We both climbed in under the comforter. I lay with my back to his front. The only difference this time around was his arms that he wrapped around my waist, holding me close.
I awoke when my alarm went off. Disappointment flooded through me when I realized I was alone, the place beside me that Jared had slept in cold.
We hadn't discussed who would be taking me to school. I still hadn't spoken to Andrew this weekend so as far as he was concerned he was still giving me a lift to school, and that meant he would be showing up in an hour to pick me up. Unsure of what to do, I decided to get a lift to school with Andrew like I had for the past few days.
With my mind made up, I climbed out of bed and started to get ready.
Downstairs in the kitchen I ate a bowl full of sugarcoated cereal and felt ready to start the day. Hitching my school bag over my shoulder, I walked out the front door. Outside, Andrew was waiting for me. I spotted Tyler's black SUV across the road as I got into Andrew's truck.
"Hi," I greeted him.
"Hey," he greeted me back, giving me a wide smile. "Did you have a good weekend?" he asked as he pulled away from my house. My attention was still fixed on Tyler's car.
"Yeah, it was okay." Pulling my attention back to Andrew, I turned to look at him. "How was your weekend?"
"Uneventful," he answered. I wish I could have said the same.
The car ride to school was quiet. Andrew didn't say much and I was too wrapped up in my thoughts of Jared and me, and what we were to each other.
When we got to school I waved Andrew off and told him I would see him later. He gave me a warm smile before he headed inside. I stood there, watching him leave, realizing what a good friend I had in him.
I walked to my locker but didn't see my friends. I was a little earlier than usual so I organized the books I would need for the day. School was tough enough, especially in my senior year. How was I supposed to concentrate and do all the stuff that I needed to if I was constantly preoccupied with life-and-death situations?
I took a deep breath. I needed to forget about all this stuff on the few occasions I could.
"Hey," I heard Andrew say behind me. I turned around to fa
ce him.
"You left your phone in my car." He smiled and handed it to me.
"Thanks."
I hadn't even realized I'd dropped it in his car.
When I was about to turn back to my locker, I looked behind Andrew and saw Jared. Just the sight of him made me smile even though he looked agitated, his eyes fixed on Andrew as he strode toward us. It was a simple interaction between two friends and no reason for him to feel threatened, but I could see he was.
Andrew followed my gaze to Jared as Jared walked forward intently. He brushed past Andrew and stood in front of me. Andrew backed off a little, watching us with curiosity.
Jared's arm wrapped around my waist and his hand cupped the back of my neck. He bent his head and our eyes connected for a brief moment before his mouth covered mine. There went my stupid knees again as I closed my eyes. My lips moved under his. The world dropped away, leaving the two of us in our own bubble.
His lips left mine and I opened my eyes. Looking into Jared's bright green eyes, I felt dazed as a slight smile touched his lips. The world was back. I glanced over to our little audience that now consisted of Andrew, Stacy and Kennedy. Stacy and Kennedy both looked surprised, but Andrew didn't.
"Now everyone knows you're mine," Jared whispered to me. His actions were explained with that one sentence. He'd wanted to ensure that everyone, including Andrew, knew that I was off limits. It was nice, especially when I had woken up this morning alone and unsure exactly what we were to each other.
Wanting a little privacy, I pulled him away from my friends so we could talk without being overheard.
"We haven't discussed exactly what we are to each other," I said quietly, my nervousness evident in the slight tremor in my voice.
"You're mine and I'm yours," he stated as he lifted my chin so my eyes connected with his. "You're my girlfriend and I'm your boyfriend." A teasing smile tugged at his lips.
I smiled at that. That, I understood and I was relieved that he felt as deeply for me as I did for him. Then he looked at me with a serious look and then added, "I don't share."
That was exactly what I wanted to hear.
"Me either," I whispered back. We both smiled before he kissed me again, laying claim again to what he considered his. Despite all the chaos and the inevitable change looming only a few days away, in that moment I was happy.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
For most of the morning I floated to my classes. For the first time in a while I felt I had something to smile about. There was always one of the Archaic trailing behind me. Stacy and Kennedy had wanted to know everything and I'd given them enough details to feed their hunger for information.
From the beginning they'd suspected he'd had a thing for me so they were happy that things had worked out for me. Anyone with two eyes could see how happy I was.
"So, how does he kiss?" Only Stacy would ask something like that. I just smiled. It was hard to put into words what his kisses did to me.
"Okay, no need to give me any details, I can see from that smile on your face his kisses do crazy things to you," she teased.
"You're so lucky," sighed Kennedy with dreamy eyes.
News of the two of us dating had gotten around the school already, which accounted for the glares I was getting from some of the girls in the school. I left Stacy and Kennedy to go to my locker, telling them I would meet them in the cafeteria when I was done.
I was standing in front of my locker, organizing my books, when I felt familiar arms wrap around my waist. I leaned back slightly, loving the feel.
"Hey," Jared whispered into my ear, and I felt a shiver of awareness. I turned to smile at him and he pressed a kiss to my lips.
"Hey," I said, turning to face him, still feeling a fuzzy and warm feeling in my stomach as I looked up at him. He looked more carefree than usual; maybe that was because of me. I liked him this way.
"Are you ready for lunch?" he asked as he eyed out my open locker.
"Yes," I said while I turned and closed it.
He held my hand in his and walked me to the cafeteria. It felt like everyone turned to watch us as we walked into the cafeteria holding hands. Most of the looks were glares, but some were of curiosity. They were probably thinking, What the hell is he doing with her? Honestly, I didn't blame them.
Jared walked me to my usual table where my friends were already seated. Stacy and Kennedy sat next to each other on the one side. There were only two seats on the opposite side and Andrew already occupied one of them. I usually sat next to Andrew. I wasn't sure what to do.
Jared let go of my hand and I watched him walk to a table nearby. I saw him say something to the guys sitting at the table and then he picked up the empty chair and carried it to our table. So he was sitting with us now.
He motioned for me to sit in the chair he had just gotten and then he sat down in the chair next to Andrew, effectively putting himself between the two of us. He was acting a little possessive. Stacy and Kennedy shared a look. They raised their eyebrows at me and I shrugged. I didn't know how to handle the situation. Jared had no reason to be jealous. Andrew was my friend and nothing more. I would have to assure him that I didn't have those types of feelings for Andrew. What I felt for Jared was so intense it scared me. It went way past just liking him, but I wasn't ready to consider what that meant.
Andrew watched Jared as he pressed a kiss to my cheek.
"Can I talk to you?" Andrew asked him.
Jared turned to eye him out before nodding his head.
Andrew got up and walked out of the cafeteria and Jared followed closely behind. I saw the nervous energy around the nearby table where the Archaic sat. Tyler and Danny watched the scene closely. I was about to get up to make sure their little discussion didn't turn into a physical discussion that included fists, knowing it wouldn't be a fair fight. Stacy grabbed my hand and stopped me. "Let them sort it out."
Reluctantly, I sat back down. I was feeling so nervous I felt physically sick. It felt like forever, but it had only probably been ten minutes. I was seriously contemplating going to find them when Jared reentered the cafeteria and Andrew followed. I wasn't the only one who was relieved. The Archaic had been just as nervous and I could see the tension easing from their features. I glanced back to Jared and Andrew. It didn't look like their discussion had gotten physical.
Jared gave me a smirk and I felt my stomach flip.
They both sat back down at the table and started talking about football.
What the hell?
Boys were just weird. I was worried about them trading fists and now they were talking about sports like they were friends. It was the strangest thing ever. I didn't understand.
It was at the end of lunch as Jared walked me out of the cafeteria that I pulled him to the side.
"What happened?" I asked, wanting to know what had been said.
"Nothing, we just sorted out a misunderstanding," he explained vaguely.
"What misunderstanding?" I questioned further. I was getting annoyed because all I wanted was a straight answer.
"He told me there was nothing going on between the two of you and that he just considered you a good friend. I must admit I was angry this morning when I found out from Tyler that you got a lift with Andrew this morning. After what we'd discussed this weekend, I thought we were clear about where we stood with each other. Clearly I was wrong," he further explained.
"You hadn't made it clear at all. I didn't get a lift with Andrew this morning to make you jealous or anything like that."
He studied me for a moment.
"Okay, but in the future I'll be the one picking you up and dropping you off for school. It's my duty as your boyfriend," he stated in a teasing tone. Just the sound of the word boyfriend on his lips pulled at that part of me that felt more than I probably should. He took my hand and started to walk me to my next class.
"He also warned me," he added with a slight shake of his head, like what he was about to tell me he found slightly amusing.
"What did he say?"
"He told me that if I hurt you, he would beat the shit out of me." His smile grew.
"Oh. Why are you smiling?"
"Because, firstly, I won't hurt you and, secondly, I wouldn't lose a fight to him," he whispered to me confidently.
I hoped he was right about the not hurting me part. I didn't know if I'd survive emotionally if he hurt me. This love thing was great when everything was going well, but I had a feeling it could drag me down to the depths of despair if it didn't. Time would tell.
Surprisingly I managed to stay emotional for most of the school day. It was only in my last period of the day when the emotionless state crept in. I didn't have any of the Archaic in this class. Realizing there was only twenty minutes left of the lesson, I decided I had to move quickly if I was going to have a chance to escape.
I felt the familiar need to find Mason. I couldn't wait till the end of the lesson, because someone would be waiting for me outside my class. It would either be Jared or one of the other Archaic. I raised my hand.
"Yes, Ava?" my teacher asked.
"I'm not feeling well. Can I go to the bathroom?" I asked calmly. She nodded her head and I walked out of the classroom. A quick scan of the hallway told me that I was alone, so I hurried to the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk out the front door of the school. I also couldn't be sure that Jared hadn't posted someone outside.
Luckily I was on the ground floor, so when I entered the girls' restroom, I went straight to the window. With a bit of force I managed to open the window. It probably hadn't been opened in a while. I turned the trashcan upside down and stood on it. I peered outside but I didn't see anyone there. Now was my chance. I climbed through the window.
I dropped softly on the grass outside the bathroom window. I walked quickly toward the road closest to me, my eyes scanning for any sign of the person that every cell in my body hummed for.
Mason.
Suddenly he was there in front of me. His pale blue eyes connected with mine. There was no fear as he reached for my hand and took it into his, pulling me along with him. The moment our fingers touched, I felt a completeness engulf me.
