Nora had that in droves, and she deeply cared for something—or someone—he cared about too. Charlotte. Not to mention Graham.
There was no question that they had a mutual attraction, but she’d easily set that aside to make sure Charlotte was taken care of. He’d never met a woman like her before, and Jake didn’t know what he should do.
Now he questioned how he found himself in such an unfamiliar situation. Uncertainty about what to do with Nora wasn’t acceptable. He always allowed for a measure of risk, but not uncertainty. To be safe, he’d pulled back and kept himself in check. But there wasn’t enough distance to put between him and Nora that could make him struggle to want more.
Being alone with Nora… He inhaled again, wanting to calm the intense urges that raced through him, but measured breaths wouldn’t help.
“The kids are quiet,” she said, punting the subject far away from his attraction to her in that sweater and those jeans.
He shifted his weight. “Must be a good movie.”
“They’ve only seen it a hundred times.”
Jake would have moved a mountain to take away her awkward blush and replace the color with cheeks aflush from kissing.
Maybe she needed a minute. “I’ll go check on the kids.”
Then Nora could do whatever women did when they wanted to ignore a man and recalibrate. His fingers were crossed that she couldn’t see he needed a five-minute reprieve as well. His attraction might be poisoning his objectivity when it came to her.
“Sounds good.” She didn’t glance his way, reaching for Graham’s lunch box.
Who could blame her? He’d just spent the night hitting on her. There was crossing the line, then there was how he did life—big and bold. Not smart when there were two uncommonly quiet kids to consider.
He left Nora and her lunch making then headed toward the sound of the movie. He rounded the corner of the living room and stopped short, cracking a smile. Graham and Charlotte were conked out and propped against each other in front of the television.
He crept a few inches into the living room, taking advantage of their stillness, and stood to study the kids. Amazing how both looked so much younger. How could these two tiny people produce so much noise and energy? He focused on Charlotte and her soft brown hair and angel’s skin.
If he made a mess of this, the consequences would be epic—and tragic. The resulting calamity would be much bigger than any parenting blogger could articulate in the crash-course of blog posts he read on flights overseas and links that his family had sent him.
Little strands of Charlotte’s brown hair lifted when she sneezed, and she scrubbed them off her face, not waking up or falling from the precarious position where she and Graham balanced.
“Hey.” Nora brushed his forearm. “Oh,” she whispered then nodded back to the hall after an exchange of silent looks.
He leaned against a bar area on the cedar wall across from the living room’s entryway, and she remained straight as an arrow. Jake sighed. “I’ll scoop her up and be out—”
“Sure.” Nora gave a smile that must have made a regular appearance at PTA meetings. It was welcoming, safe, and surface level. He hated it. “Unless you have questions on school or kid stuff. Then let the kids sleep, and I can answer your questions.”
Her voice was firm and even. Helpful. He wished that he could feel the texture and pause that she put into every heartfelt thought. Jake licked his lips, looking away, understanding why she’d gone formal and wanted to reestablish their boundaries. That didn’t mean he liked it.
“Mm-hmm,” he grunted and ground his back into the cedar planks.
Nora watched him for a second longer than he guessed she might’ve. Then, posture perfect—even in her casual clothes—she pivoted to face the kids, a picture of unmoved beauty. He held in a laugh. Here he was grunting and moping, and she could pull off being a smarmy teacher in fuzzy socks.
Fuzzy socks and an oversized sweater made her look welcoming and cozy . Add thick brown hair that could’ve passed for red in the right light, and he could’ve grumbled too.
Nora turned, casting her amber eyes on him—him, but not his eyes. Barely his face, and he was tired of this already. Not fifteen minutes had passed.
“Nora?”
Her eyes lifted to his. Finally.
“Back in the kitchen—” He lost her eyes, and no, that wasn’t how this was going to happen. Jake pushed off the wall, and her gaze jumped back to his as he stepped close. “I made you feel uncomfortable, and I’m kicking myself for that.”
Those beautiful golden eyes widened. “What? No.”
“I did. You don’t have to be polite.” He gave his most earnest smile. “I said too much, and you’ve gone above and beyond. Not just Charlotte. But me.” He let the fake smile melt away and leaned close. “I’d really like to not ruin anything else on my first day.”
Her pink lips parted, holding back for a curious moment. “What are you talking about?”
He laughed, looking away then back. “I hit on you.”
“No, you didn’t. Not really.”
“You wouldn’t be half the woman. It wasn’t meant to be a line, I swear, and I get how it might’ve come off like that. Sorry.”
She balked. “I didn’t think it was a line, but Jake?”
“What?”
“If we’re confessing… I hit on you.”
There it was. The texture. That sound. The breathy anticipation of what might be. Her confession. Again, Nora’s cheeks pinked, but this time, Jake cared a lot less, because she had that thing between them back in her voice. It was decipherable only by him, and he liked the way it tightened his lungs and made the muscles in his back strain.
Jake drew in a slow breath, searching for the right words. But they didn’t come. Who knew what those were supposed to be when they’d gone through the heartache that had pitched them together.
“Nora.” He pressed them forward until her back met the cedar wood wall. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Her chin tilted up, her lips parting with tiny breaths he wanted to capture with a kiss.
“And not knowing what to do? That’s not something I’m familiar with.” He towered over her and gave just enough space that she could roll away if she wanted.
But she didn’t move, and he inhaled her sweetness. She smelled like flowers. Not sweet, syrupy ones but strong wildflowers, the kind that could withstand anything.
In their close embrace, they’d managed to get back to the same line as they had earlier in the kitchen. Before, when together like this, they’d both eased away. But now, as they neared their imaginary line in the sand, testing and wondering what pulled them there again.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either,” she whispered. “I haven’t the slightest clue.”
He chuckled quietly, leaning his weight against her. “It’d be easier if one of us knew what to do.”
Her soft breath made the hairs on the back of his neck stand, and he almost let his lips drift to her creamy skin.
“Let’s say,” he whispered. “That I wanted to kiss you.”
The uneven cadence of her breath hitched, and she nodded.
“But, I wanted you to agree to a condition?”
“What’s that?” Nora’s breathlessness made his heart pound harder.
He let the rush roll through him, keeping them a breath apart. “Neither of us will be sorry that we kiss.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
It would be a kiss. No big commitment. Jake needed to remind himself of but as he stared into Nora’s amber eyes, noting how they’d darkened to a rich hazel, he wondered if a kiss would mean the start of a relationship.
Nora slowly nodded, holding his gaze. “I promise. No regrets.”
Thump. Thump.
She jumped. “What was that noise?”
He turned from their near-embrace. The dull thuds might’ve startled her, but he had an idea what that noise might’ve been. The sound had come from the ot
her side of the wall, Charlotte and Graham were camped out.
Realization dawned for Nora also, and she ducked around Jake’s outstretched arm. He followed her into the living room. Charlotte and Graham were on the floor, lying side by side with their shared pillow in the middle. One of the kids had toppled, and having held each other, the other one fell. He had to fight to keep a chuckle at bay.
“How cute are they?” he whispered.
“Very cute.” She turned, her amusement quickly fading. “That was too close.”
He shrugged, not agreeing with her risk assessment, but he wasn’t going to argue close versus too close.
Her cheeks pinked. “Maybe a kiss would be a bad idea.”
A kiss would be a lot of things but nowhere close to a bad idea. “What? Why?”
Nora bit her lip. “What if they woke up?” She cringed. “What if they saw?”
He didn’t like the negative shadows that crossed her face. “Then we’d explain. You’re a professional feelings expert.” He led them into the hallway as Nora followed. Jake turned, crossing his arms. “You know how to communicate everything to kids.”
“It’s not as though I’m conversant in a secret language that makes them understand complicated situations.” She rubbed her temples. “Like a kiss in the hallway.”
He didn’t like how the idea of their kiss could sound scandalous. “Look, Nora—”
“I just met you!”
Her regret sliced deep into his chest. He cleared his throat and took a step back. “I thought we were on the same page.”
She stared at the wall as though she could see through to Charlotte and Graham sleeping on the floor. “What kind of example would we show them? We didn’t think that part through.”
“Right. Fine.” Shot down and called out for not thinking. That stunk. He rolled his shoulders and stretched.
“I don’t think you understand.” Nora shook her head like trying to shake away their attraction. “What if Charlotte saw us?”
“She’s a smart kid. Smarter than me half the time—”
“If she was hurt again, I’d hate myself.” Nora’s face pinched.
His chest tightened. “Why would she get hurt?”
Nora angled her chin up. “Charlotte thinks you walk on water.”
Flattery wasn’t something he was comfortable with, and he brushed it aside. “The same could be said for you too.”
She stared as if silently trying to impart an explanation. But he didn’t understand. “Help me out here, Nora. I’m clueless.”
A blush painted her cheeks and she stole her eyes away. “If she saw us kiss? And she romanticized the idea… Her little heart might break if it—we—didn’t go however she dreamed.”
Oh… When Nora put it that way. He winced. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.” Or, rather, maybe he’d never thought about the impact of a possible allusion of a relationship could have on a child.
She bit her lip. “Now that you have?”
With his perspective adequately adjusted, he realized that was a lot of pressure to put on a kiss. Jake cleared his throat quietly and agreed, “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
His eyes sank shut. The realization was a gut punch as she gave him a friendly, thankful hug, and even as he hugged her, he tried to forget how she fit in his arm or how sweet she smelled.
It’d been so long since he could recall inhaling something simple and beautiful. But instead of holding onto her longer than he should, he wondered how long a platonic hug might last. Nora stepped back but not before she gave him an extra squeeze and a quiet thank-you that sliced straight into his chest.
They made their way into the living and he followed, watching as she sat down on a couch and twisted her leg beneath her bottom.
Giving her extra room was likely the most platonic thing to do, and Jake took a seat in the overstuffed chair. He faced her, studying the delicate slope of her shoulders and the steadfast strength in her eyes. Her confidence was inspiring. Right now, he didn’t know what to do or say. It killed him. Because in his world, he’d always known what to say and how to say it. Every. Single. Time.
But in this new world, he wasn’t the team leader. He couldn’t be the focus. Only his mission—this job, raising Charlotte, that was his world now. He had to focus. He had to listen.
“What’s that look?” she asked.
He dropped his head, staring at the carpet as heavy seconds drifted by before looking back at Nora. “You have very intense eyes.”
She blinked, sitting back as though that might change how powerful her gaze was. “That’s a good thing?”
“They’re sweet and true and just like everything about you.” He inhaled slowly. “You’re beautiful, and you’re also right.”
Nora’s lips parted.
“I won’t say that again, but one more thing.”
She licked her bottom lip then quietly asked, “What?”
“When we were in the hall.” He blew out a slow breath of air. “The tension could’ve killed me, but when you explained why we shouldn’t… because of them?” He nodded toward the kids sleeping on the floor. “Nora, you’re really amazing.. A good mom, person in Charlotte’s life—a good friend to me, I hope.”
Nora’s cheeks pinked. “We’re going to be good friends.”
She stared at Graham and Charlotte sleeping peacefully. “Despite the absurd number of times today that you proved how grossly I misunderstood this next part of my life.”
She laughed quietly. “We all make mistakes.”
“Maybe so.” Suddenly, he wondered if everything happened for a reason. The almost kiss didn’t. But he should focus on the woman who’d just sauntered into his life? Either way, today had been an education full of the unexpected. He decided it might be best to relax and figure out what, who, and how he was going to be.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“I’m ready,” Charlotte announced from in front of her bedroom as he walked by. Her hands clasped the straps of a backpack that hung on both her shoulders, and a curious number of sparkling barrettes decorated her hair. “Uncle Jake.” The little girl shook her head. “You do not look ready.”
That was because he wasn’t. What was she ready for? School was over, and nothing else existed on his task list. He hadn’t almost-burned down the house in days. In fact, the weekend was so close he could taste it. But Jake seemed doomed for disaster, or at the very least disappointment, because whatever he was supposed to have done or gotten ready for, he hadn’t even started.
“Could you give me a hint?” he asked.
“Today’s the day that I read to Baxter.”
Baxter? Baxter! His buddy Dean’s dog. How could he forget picking Charlotte up at the library a few months ago? Baxter was one canine that was hard to forget. A little bit crazy, a lot bit excitable, and unable to resist. Jake smiled, seeing that Charlotte was clearly under Baxter’s charm as well, though he was clueless about the after-school activity.
“That’s today?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded hard enough to make her glitter headband fall off.
“I have to be honest, snuggle bug.” She wouldn’t understand the level of mental exhaustion he was struggling with. “I didn’t even have Baxter on my radar.”
This week had sucker punched Jake. Charlotte had morphed from his sweet niece to an unrecognizable tornado of a child after he purchased the wrong color of glitter hand sanitizer—no one had mentioned he should expect that. Then there was the drama over a monkey-bar race that hadn’t gone well. Jake had choked down the urge to teach her how to elbow the little cheaters out of the way when no one was looking.
What he would’ve given for some pure physical exertion to drain him. He had dreams of BUD/S training where they dead-lifted a telephone pole in the Pacific Ocean. He wanted to crawl to the top of a mountain with too much gear and not enough air. All of that sounded far easier than trying to figure out why she did, said, and ate “nothing” at school every day based on his after-schoo
l and dinnertime interrogations of her day spent at kindergarten.
After checking in with her teacher, Jake was relieved to learn that Charlotte was indeed doing, talking, and eating. After a much longer phone call with Nora, he now knew to ask different types of questions that would elicit responses other than “nothing” and “I don’t know.” Starting next week, he would have a plan complete with open-ended questions snagged from the internet.
He was already off to a decent start in his research, thanks to Nora. Jake planned to amend his daily question of “How was lunch?” to “How many bites of your sandwich did you eat?”
Instead of “What did you do today?” he planned to ask, “What color markers did you color with?”
Come Monday after school, Jake would be prepared with peer-reviewed tactics he could easily deploy.
But, right now, he needed a strategy to achieve balance. Or sanity. How did moms manage everything? Charlotte barely had any activities outside of school, yet Jake was overloaded and overwhelmed. There was a running list of birthday party invites, classroom volunteer opportunities, appropriate meal planning options, specific colors of glitter hand sanitizer… and, apparently, an after-school date with Baxter the dog.
“It’s okay.” Her shoulders slumped. “Even though I excel when reading to Baxter, I suppose you could be a suitable substitute.”
Ugh. She was breaking out her SAT words on him and likely knew the definition of manipulation. “I think we have to RSVP for those things. Baxter might not even be there.”
“He’s always there. Baxter’s daddy likes Miss Paggon.”
Jake cocked an eyebrow, thinking back to Nora’s concerns about how Charlotte might read things into adult relationships if she saw one forming. “Really? How do you know this?”
“Because they like each other, and do this with their eyes.” Charlotte batted her eyelashes then took her backpack off. “What should I read to you?”
Jake nearly laughed at the idea of Dean batting his eyes. Suddenly, Jake’s curiosity was stronger than his fatigue. “You’re sure it’s today?” He checked his watch, though he didn’t know what time the reading session started.
A SEAL's Return Page 8
