by Bert Murray
I knew he was looking for an excuse to stay, but chess sounded like a good idea. Here was my chance to beat Karl at something. Then he’d leave.
“I think it’s in my closet. One sec,” I said.
“Wait, I see it. It’s under your bed,” said Jasmine. She put out her joint and crawled under the bed to get the chess set.
I saw Karl stare at her ass. I was pissed. I didn’t want to be jealous, but I couldn’t take it when he flirted with her. Karl was fucking a different girl every weekend! He knew I was crazy about Jasmine. How could he flirt with her right in front of my eyes?
“May the best man win,” Jasmine said after she set up the chess board.
I pulled out three cans of Budweiser from my mini-fridge. I felt confident. We had split two-two the last four times we’d played. And I’d recently read a chess-strategy book in the library. I had new techniques to put to the test. Karl, Jasmine and I sat on the rug, sipping beer. Karl grabbed a black pawn and a white pawn and hid them behind his back.
“Pick a hand, buddy,” he said.
I chose his left hand. A black piece in his palm. Karl made the first move and looked at Jasmine. I looked at the board. But I was also watching Karl. I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at my girl. He was getting on my nerves. We each made a few moves. I didn’t concentrate, and I got into trouble quickly.
“I’m serious, buddy. Go already,” said Karl.
Jasmine put down her beer and lighted another joint.
“Don’t rush me,” I said.
“Look, his rook is open!” said Jasmine, pointing to the board.
Karl smirked. “He’s going to lose even with your help,”
I moved my pawn. I was afraid he was about to attack. Damn. I had a splitting headache. It was like a hammer pounding on my skull.
Karl captured my bishop. “That’s your problem, Colin. You only play defense. But to win in life, you need to play offense. You ought to change your game.”
Jasmine played with my hair. “I like Colin the way he is.”
Her fingers felt comforting. I really needed her. I stared at the board, trying to figure out my next move. I sure as hell was sorry I let Karl into the room. That was my first stupid move.
“You hesitate too much. Take the initiative, buddy,” said Karl.
I moved another pawn. “Thanks for the advice, but I’m doing just fine.”
“See, this is what I mean.” Karl took the pawn with his rook. I hadn’t seen it coming.
“Hey, Karl, have you ever had a girlfriend?” asked Jasmine.
I could tell she was trying to distract him.
Karl grimaced. “Why would I want to limit my options?”
“It might do you some good.”
“Thanks for your concern, Jasmine, but I’m doing just fine,” said Karl. “If you don’t mind, I’d like another beer.”
“Get it yourself,” said Jasmine. “And why don’t you bring me another one while you’re at it.”
Karl walked over to the mini-fridge and took out two beers. He handed one to Jasmine and chugged down the other.
My mind was a total blank. I kept staring at the board. I had no ideas at all for my next move. Karl had me in serious trouble. Nothing. Nothing. What was wrong with me? Choke. “Damn, I’m just not thinking straight today.”
“Relax, Colin.” Jasmine began massaging my shoulders. Finally, I felt like Jasmine was back on my side. That’s exactly what I needed. Now maybe I could turn things around.
“That rub may feel good, but it’s not going to save you,” said Karl. He snapped up my rook with his bishop. Shit. “Give up, man. You’re about to go down like the Titanic.”
Jasmine took a puff of her joint. “Don’t listen to him, Colin. Keep your mind on the game.”
“Check,” said Karl.
Bastard. I didn’t see it coming. I quickly moved my knight forward to protect my king. Karl captured my knight with his rook.
He smirked. “Ohh, bad move. Check, again.”
It was a terrible move. I couldn’t seem to make a good one. Every mistake made me tense and caused another mistake. My head was really killing me. “Shut the fuck up, Karl.”
“Wait. Do you hear that?” asked Karl, cupping his ear with his hand. “I do believe the fat lady is getting ready to sing.”
“Ignore him, Colin,” said Jasmine, studying the chessboard.
I moved my king away from Karl’s rook.
Karl swooped in with his queen. “Looks like you bet on the wrong horse, Jasmine. Like I always say. Bad boys do it better.”
Jasmine looked at him.
“Shit,” I muttered.
Karl snickered. “Checkmate.”
15.
THERE WAS A note from Chester under my door. “Meet me in the basement. Let’s shoot the breeze a while.” When I went downstairs, I saw him in the corner near the bathroom, puffing on a joint again.
I pointed to his joint. “Maybe you smoke too much.”
“It’s safer than speedballs.”
How many drugs was he trying? “Do you have a girlfriend?” He was always alone when I saw him.
“All I need is my weed. I’ve seen you holding hands with that girl with long, blond hair. She’s freaking hot. You’re lucky.”
“Yeah, Jasmine is great.”
“My sex life, on the other hand, stinks,” Chester said as he inhaled.
“What’s the problem?” I asked.
“Too many lonely nights. I’m tired of always sleeping alone. I can’t stand it anymore. I’m not getting any sex at all,” he said, exhaling. Chester held out the joint. “Could you hold this for a sec?” he asked.
I took the joint from him. I watched as he rummaged through his gray backpack. His eyes darted back and forth.
“There you are,” he said, pulling out a metal roach clip.
I handed him back the joint. “We need to find you a girl.” It could make such a difference in life. Jasmine had changed everything for me. Even if things were rocky. The Beatles were right when they said all you need is love.
“Who’d go out with me?” He carefully inserted the joint into the clip.
“What are you talking about? There are plenty of girls around campus looking for a date.”
“My mother curses the day I was born. She told me I was a mistake. She never wanted me at all.”
Only Chester would say something like that. I didn’t believe him. “I’m sure she’s kidding,” I said.
“Come on, be realistic. Take a good look at me. It’s hopeless. Who could ever love me?” He sniffed the edge of his black T-shirt. “The truth is, I smell. I stink. I honestly haven’t showered for a week.”
He did smell. He needed Old Spice badly. “When you shower and shave, you’ll feel better.”
“All my razors are rusty.” He held the roach clip up to his eye and examined the stub of his joint. Apparently satisfied that there was nothing left, he dropped the butt on the floor and put it out with his sneaker.
“I’ll give you a disposable. I’ve got a bunch. And do yourself a favor by picking up some deodorant.”
Chester looked down at the gray concrete floor. “There’s one girl I like. Susan Mason.”
“Why don’t you ask her out? You know, Susan and I sit next to each other in American history class.”
“You do? She doesn’t even know who I am. Sometimes I hide in the custodian’s closet next to the girls bathroom on the fourth floor. There’s a vent I look through. I can see Susan’s tits when she’s in the shower.”
I made a mental note to tell Jasmine to avoid that bathroom.
“I love how her breasts jiggle,” he said. “I’m really crazy about her.”
“They jiggle?” I asked.
“Yes. Like fucking flying saucers. She uses Ivory Soap on her gazungas.”
“So, Susan soaping her breasts is your sex fantasy?”
“Yes, and once I watched her shave her legs. What a thrill I got.”
C
hester definitely had problems. I wondered how he’d made it through his college admissions interview. He was probably the most messed up person on the whole campus.
16.
A FLIER HAD been slipped under my door. It was an invite to one of the most eagerly awaited events of fall semester: Delta Upsilon’s Beach Bash. Big Ty must have left it for me.
I called Jasmine to tell her, but no one answered. Next I called Karl to see if he’d gotten his invitation. He picked up on the third ring.
“Hey, it’s Colin. Did you get an invite to the Beach Bash, too?” I asked.
“Are you kidding? I’ve already picked out which Hawaiian shirt I’m gonna wear.”
“You wanna head over together?”
“Sure. Is Jasmine coming?”
“I haven’t asked her, but I bet she’ll be stoked.”
I was wrong. When I finally got a hold of Jasmine on the phone that evening, she told me she didn’t want to go.
“Colin, why would I want to go to a party where the entire evening revolves around getting wasted and ogling women in bikinis?” Her voice was sharp.
“I promise I’m not going there to ogle. Jasmine, think about it: you, me, good music and soft sand. My only regret is that I won’t get to rub your entire body with lotion.”
She was silent, but I could swear I heard her start to smile. She was coming around.
“You really want to go?” she asked.
“Yeah, it’ll be fun. Besides, we don’t have to get drunk, and the only woman I want to look at is you.”
All of a sudden she wanted in. “Fine, I’m coming. Because I love you. Plus, I wouldn’t mind seeing you without a shirt.”
Just her voice was getting me excited. She made me feel terrific. “You can see that any time you want. Come over right now and I’ll give you a sneak preview.”
Jasmine giggled.
That Friday night, Jasmine, Karl and I met by the flagpole in front of Livingston and walked the couple of blocks to the fraternity house. The invitation said the party would start at 8, so we showed up at 10:30.
Karl had on his blue Hawaiian shirt covered with brown and green palm trees. He left the top five buttons open, making it impossible not to see his washboard stomach. He also wore his mirrored Ray-Bans despite the fact that it was dark outside. I had on my red Jams with a white T-shirt and flip-flops.
Jasmine refused to wear any beachwear but looked stunning in her yellow sundress and white cardigan. Her hair was pin-straight, and every time she flipped it back and forth it fell perfectly without a single strand out of place.
We were still a block away but we could hear the Beach Boys’ Good Vibrations blasting through the night air.
“Ready to hit the beach?” I asked, putting my arm around Jasmine’s neck.
“I can’t wait to see what it looks like.”
Jasmine seemed to forget that a few hours ago she didn’t want to come. It was going to be a great night. I was psyched. We rounded the corner. I was shocked to see at least 200 people crowded on the lawn, all hoping to make it inside.
“Holy shit!” exclaimed Karl. “Look at this mob! Not everyone has invites. Let’s get to the front. Follow me.” He elbowed his way through.
I grabbed Jasmine’s hand tightly and followed Karl. “Don’t lose me,” I yelled to her over my shoulder.
Karl got us to the front and handed our invites to one of the enormous meatheads standing on the bottom step of the deck. The guy held our fliers up to the deck light to make sure they were the real things.
When he was satisfied, he asked how many people were in our party. Karl told him three and the meathead held up three fingers to a second giant guy by the front door, who nodded and gestured for us to go down the stairs. “When you get inside, take the stairs on your right,” he instructed us.
Jasmine headed down the stairs first. I was about to follow her when Karl excitedly grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
“This is fuckin’ insane!” he said, laughing. “We’re so gonna owe Big Ty for this. I know he only gets, like, four invites.”
We were in. At Elerby it paid to have the right friends.
The basement felt like Club Med. It had been converted into a tropical paradise and everything looked fantastic. The entire floor was covered with a thick layer of fine, white sand. Blow-up plastic palm trees were scattered throughout the room, and a large wading pool was set up in the middle.
Four girls and two frat boys were sitting in the pool with their clothes on. Every time the boys splashed them, the girls would shriek and quickly flick water back. To their left, a group of pretty girls in bikinis were throwing green and white water balloons back and forth.
I took a good look around. Everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun. I was so proud Jasmine was with me. As usual, she was one of the hottest girls in the room. I could just imagine how many guys standing around were wishing they had my girl.
It was easy to spot Big Ty in the crowd. I called out his name a couple of times before he looked over and broke out into a toothy grin. He headed over to us, singing and grooving to Jimmy Buffet’s Cheeseburger in Paradise. His dreads were held back with a rubber band, and he was wearing four different-colored plastic leis over a bright yellow Hawaiian shirt. When he got to us, he pulled the leis over his head and placed one on each of us.
“Aloha! Welcome to D.U.’s ‘Island of Paradise,’” he said dramatically.
“Hey, buddy, Big Ty just lei’d your girlfriend,” said Karl.
Jasmine frowned at the corny joke and gave Karl a disgusted look.
“Yo, I’m so glad you guys made it. Hell, do we know how to throw a party or what? Did you see the crowd outside?” said Big Ty. “Did you guys check out the bar? We cut up all of this bamboo and nailed it to the bar so it looks like a tiki hut. The shit is sick.”
“We haven’t seen it yet,” said Karl.
Ty spoke in an exaggerated Jamaican accent. “Then come on over, mon, so we can get your drink on.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” replied Karl.
Big Ty led us across the room toward the bar. I walked through the sand with my flip-flops. I noticed some guy across the room gesturing toward Jasmine and saying something to his friend, who nodded in agreement. As the two guys checked out Jasmine, I quickly pulled her closer so they knew she was with me.
Big Ty was right. The bar looked fantastic. In addition to the bamboo, someone had constructed a thatched roof and strung Japanese lanterns around the edges.
“What do you guys want?” asked Big Ty. “We have frozen margaritas, Coronas and a rum punch that’s guaranteed to grow hair on your chest.”
“Punch,” said Karl.
“Two Coronas over here,” I said.
The bartender took a large plastic cup and dunked it into a punch bowl. He handed the cup to Karl, who licked the punch that had dripped down his forearm. The bartender pulled two Coronas out from under the bar, one in each hand, and flipped them into the air before handing them to me.
“Hot damn. That’s strong,” Karl said after taking a sip.
“I warned you about that rum punch,” said Big Ty. “How about a frozen drink instead, with one of those little pink umbrellas?”
“Kiss my big white ass,” said Karl.
“It’d be the only action that ass has seen all month,” said Big Ty.
“You realize you’re so immature, right?” Jasmine said to Karl and Big Ty. She looked irritated. Karl seemed to be rubbing her the wrong way. I didn’t mind that at all.
I took two lime wedges from a brown wooden bowl on the bar and squeezed one into Jasmine’s bottle and the other into mine. Karl took another sip of his punch and surveyed the room. His eyes lighted up.
“If you guys will excuse me, I see a hot little number who looks like she’s thirsty,” Karl said.
I saw Jasmine watching him intently as he signaled to the bartender for another glass of punch. Taking a cup in each hand, he walked over to a redhead wear
ing a pink bikini top and a matching sarong. He handed her a cup and said something. The girl raised an eyebrow and smiled back seductively. Karl was in.
“That chick has screwed three of my friends,” said Big Ty. “She’s cute and everything, but Karl could do better.”
“So that’s Karl’s type,” said Jasmine, still staring. She spoke softly, as if she were talking to herself. But I heard her.
“You guys have to excuse me for a second. I gotta go hang with some of my buddies over there for a few minutes,” said Big Ty. “Gotta work the room.” Big Ty walked over to a group of guys near the DJ and playfully put one into a headlock.
Jasmine was quiet. She didn’t seem to be having a great time. I was disappointed, but it was understandable. This wasn’t really her thing. She liked parties run by Greenpeace or the Sierra Club. I was happy to go to a granola event with her some other time. I just hoped she could try and have some fun while we were out with my friends. “Come on,” I said. “Let’s go find a beach chair.”
“Okay.” She shrugged. “As long as we don’t stay too long.”
17.
WE SAT IN two empty chairs near the wading pool. I stared straight into Jasmine’s green eyes. “I know you don’t like the frats in general, but you have to admit this party is kind of cool.”
She smirked. “If your idea of cool is watching a bunch of drunken fools make passes at cheap girls, then, yeah, this is cool.”
I knew better than to argue with her. I made rings in the sand with the bottom of my beer bottle. “You know, we should think about taking a beach trip over Christmas break. Someplace warm and relaxing. How about Key West? I’ve always wanted to go there.”
“OK, anywhere but Laguna. I love my mom, but there’s no way I’m celebrating the holidays with my dad or his little slut.”
Suddenly, a wave of water hit the two of us.
“Idiots!” Jasmine yelled, jumping up.
A bunch of drunken girls had jumped into the kiddie pool, sending water flying everywhere. They laughed loudly and splashed each other with the water left in the plastic basin. A couple of guys standing near the pool cheered them on.
