by Jenna Jacob
“Talk to me, Brea. Why are you crying?”
“Because I failed,” she sniffed.
“At what? Your man ban?” A crooked smile curled one corner of his mouth.
“It’s not a joke,” she angrily spat. “I have to give up men, and I can’t do that when you’re… so…everything!”
“Why? Why do you have to give them up?” He’d purposely bypassed her everything remark, aiming to dissect the fuck out of it later.
“Because I always pick the wrong ones. I’m a loser magnet.”
Sawyer blinked at her confession. “I doubt it could be that bad. We all make mist—”
“I’m not talking about one or two guys, Sawyer. I’m talking dozens.” Brea’s lips curled in revulsion. It was plain to see she might have joked about her past with Colton, but she truly wasn’t proud of it. “I’m cursed! Just forget I exist, okay?”
If it hadn’t been for the sincerity in her voice and the pain etched on her face, Sawyer would have laughed. He brushed a knuckle down her cheek and sent her a ghost of a smile.
“That’s never going to happen, darlin’.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m deeply attracted to you.”
“Great. That’s just great!” She tossed her hands in the air and groaned. “You can’t be. The only men attracted to me are ones so desperate to get into my pants they’ll say anything. And the happy moron in me always believes them.”
God, she was cute. Of course he, like all the rest, wanted in her pants. But Sawyer wasn’t going to fill her head with false promises in order to accomplish it. The fact that she’d been with so many men stung a bit, but he didn’t care as long as he was her last.
Where the fuck had that come from? Slow down, cowboy, before you step in something you can’t scrub off your boots, his conscience warned at his reawakened thoughts of monogamy.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Brea. I’m sure they were attracted to more than your…” Sawyer nodded toward her crotch and his cock throbbed.
Fuck! Wrong place to focus. Way wrong!
He quickly dragged his gaze back to her face and reminded himself not to act like the douchebags of her past. He understood what she’d said to Colton about being jaded. Sawyer had married his biggest mistake. Still, it hadn’t left such a sour taste in his mouth that he’d flushed the whole female race down the septic tank…just the notion of exchanging vows with one of them again.
“You’re selling yourself short with your man ban, baby.”
“No, I’m not.” She adamantly shook her head. “Until I can find a man who’s not looking for a whore, a mother, or a scapegoat, I’m done looking…done trying.”
Sawyer reached up and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Not all men are leeches or pigs. Some of us are quite charming.”
“They’re only charming until they get what they want,” she groused.
He decided to try a different tactic. Slapping a palm to his heart, Sawyer’s face wrinkled in pain. “You wound me, woman.”
Brea choked on a tiny laugh, then quickly sobered. “Do yourself a favor, Sawyer. Stay away from me. I’m nothing but bad luck. You’re a nice guy, well, when you’re not withholding house keys from me.”
Though Brea was trying to make light of the situation, her self-reproach clanged like a gong, sending fury through him. He hated the fact that Brea couldn’t see her own beauty. He’d simply have to open her eyes.
Cupping her cheeks, Sawyer gazed at her ripe lips. “I’m not staying away from you, darlin’, because I can’t. I want to learn everything about you. The good, the bad, and even the things you think are ugly. And when the time comes, I’m going to uncover all the naughty fantasies you have hidden inside that pretty little head of yours. Then I’m going to make them all come true.”
Her eyes grew wide as a tremor shook her body. “You can’t.”
He flashed her a wicked grin and arched his brows. “Wanna bet?”
CHAPTER SIX
Brea so wanted to take that bet…wanted to dare him to bring her every deviant desire out from the shadows. Excitement, hope, and a metric ton of fear squeezed her chest with a pressure so intense she feared she might explode. Of course, his impressive erection nestled against her sex wasn’t helping matters. The familiar throb of demand pulsed low and deep. Her nipples were as hard as pebbles and her stomach coiled in knots.
It was all she could do not to climb him like a spider monkey.
Her entire body mocked her stupid vow to give up men. It more than mocked; her hormones were hell-bent on casting her into a realm of self-induced torture as they screamed, Do him! Do him! Fuck him senseless!
But Brea knew if she caved and made love to the man, her soul would shatter along with her heart. Unfortunately—or thankfully…she hadn’t fully decided—Sawyer pulled away before she had the chance to drag him to her room and test his earth-shattering sex skills. The man seemed more than capable of registering an eight-point-nine on the Richter scale. She knew, because her lips were still tingling from his mind-bending kiss a few minutes ago. And dammit, she wanted more…a lot more. More of his soft, talented lips…more of his tongue…sweet jesus, the things he did with that wicked tongue sent her imagination into overdrive. And more of his hot, rugged body pressed tight against hers.
God, she was losing her ever-loving mind. She didn’t need more of him, she needed to find a way to silence the restless hunger he provoked. It was the same stupid-assed kind of lust that always fucked her in the ass later. Not literally but figuratively.
But Brea couldn’t let go. She clung to Sawyer’s wide shoulders as he held her in a possessive and unrelenting hold. The decisive and determined expression he wore told her that even if she tried, he wouldn’t let her walk away…at least not easily.
“Damn, darlin’. That kiss we shared? I don’t think I’ve ever had one as hot or sweet before.”
“Ahem.” Colton cleared his throat.
Brea jolted and jerked out of Sawyer’s arms. When she took a big step backward, the commanding warmth of his body was replaced by a cold, empty void.
Colton curiously raised both brows and smirked. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… Ah, dinner’s ready.”
A part of her wondered if Colton’s interruption had been coincidence or divine intervention…like some higher power was giving her a swift kick in the ass. Either way, Sawyer’s kiss proved one thing. It was going to take a chainsaw to cut the strings that tied her to her old and familiar bad habits.
“You got lousy timing, man,” Sawyer groused mockingly.
Colton shrugged with a crooked grin. “How I was I supposed to know the war was over and you two were making up?”
A blush set fire to Brea’s face. “I’m going inside. I’m sure Jade needs help with something. I should have been doing that all along.”
Turning on her heel, Brea stormed off. She hated how prickly and combative she became around Sawyer. But she couldn’t help it. She didn’t know how else to fight the losing battle raging inside her.
“She’s doing fine…got it all under control.” Colton’s voice faded as Brea stormed into the kitchen.
“Hey, can you grab the potatoes out of the oven for me?” Jade nodded toward the stove as she tossed the salad.
“Of course. I feel terrible,” Brea began as she donned a pair of oven mitts. “I invited you guys over for dinner, and you’ve done all the cooking.”
“Oh, please. I love to cook. It’s the cleaning up after that I can’t stand.”
Brea set the pan of twice-baked potatoes on the stove. “Then I’ll take care of that when dinner’s done.”
“You have yourself a deal.” A knowing smirk formed on Jade’s face. “That was some kiss you and Sawyer shared on the porch.”
Brea touched her fingers to her mouth and dipped her head.
Jade chuckled. “I’m guessing your man ban bit the dust?”
“No. I-I… It was an accident.”
“Oh. So you two acc
identally tried to kiss the lips off each other. Got it. I suppose you were only holding on to the back of his neck for safety reasons, huh? I mean, god knows if you hadn’t found an anchor, he might have accidentally sucked your tongue clean down his throat.” Jade giggled.
“Shut up.” Brea sent her friend the stink eye, which only made her friend laugh harder. “I’m glad you find humor in my suffering.”
Jade snorted. “Yeah, sharing a hot, steamy kiss with that hunk of cowboy must have been excruciating.”
“It will be if I don’t put a stop to it from here on out.”
“Uh-oh.” Jade frowned. “Okay. Take a deep breath and find your Zen.”
“I can’t!” Brea cried. “It just flipped me off and caught a flight to the Bahamas. It knows a lost cause when it sees ones.”
“Then grab a beer. Your chickenshit Zen can’t hold a candle to alcohol.”
“Unfortunately neither can I.”
Jade sent her a sympathetic smile, the kind a bestie shares when your emotions are too raw to speak. Seconds later, Colton and Sawyer came waltzing in through the back door. Jade held back whatever she was going to say next and placed a steak on each plate, while Brea silently followed, dishing out the potatoes.
“What a feast. I haven’t eaten like this since last Thanksgiving,” Sawyer stated. “Thanks again for inviting me over.”
“Glad you could join us.” Colton smacked Sawyer on the back before taking a seat next to Jade, leaving the chair next to Sawyer empty.
Butterflies dipped and swooped in Brea’s stomach when she sat down beside him. Not only did the scent of clean soap and woodsy cologne tickle her senses but also the heat of his body enveloped her once again. The man unhinged her and saturated her brain cells with so much lust. Brea wondered how she’d manage to choke down dinner.
“I saw Nate walking toward your place this morning. I stopped to offer him a ride, but he said he wanted the exercise. He seemed a little ticked off. Is he okay?” Colton asked, carving into his steak.
Sneaking a sideways glance, Brea felt Sawyer’s body tense. The silverware in his hands stilled and hung poised above his plate.
“Yeah, he’s fine.”
“I was surprised to see him. I thought your folks had a new group of guests at the ranch.”
“They do. Usually everyone but Ned and me stay out at the house with them while the guests are there, but Nate had some business in town last night.”
Jade perked up. “Oh, really? What’s her name?”
Sawyer quickly banked a flash of guilt, then lifted his shoulders with a careless shrug. “My prodigal virgin brother was probably going to or from Bible study, or something.”
Brea tensed. The man was lying! He and Nate had argued…she’d heard and watched them from the living room! Maybe Sawyer was trying to protect his brother’s reputation and that of the older bartender, Gina? It didn’t matter…whether big or small, a lie was a lie. Brea was well versed in that form of deception. And she’d just discovered Sawyer’s Achilles tendon. He was as flawed as all the rest.
“Actually, that’s not true,” Sawyer softly confessed. “He’s seeing someone I don’t approve of.”
Okay, so she’d obviously judged him too quickly…the man had a conscience! Shit. But how arrogant could he be, judging the woman as too old or wrong for his brother. Nate didn’t think so, and he certainly didn’t give two shits if Sawyer approved of his love life or not. Nate had driven home that point with a damn pitchfork, and Brea could still see the aftermath of the wounds etched on Sawyer’s face.
She was desperate to know what had happened in the past…what skeletons were rattling around in Sawyer’s closet. But if she wanted him to open up and share, she knew she’d have to do the same. Yeah, that was incentive enough for her to keep her big, inquisitive mouth shut.
“He’s not sniffing around Deanne, is he?” Colton asked with a shudder of revulsion.
“Good god, no!” Sawyer barked.
“Who’s Deanne?” Brea asked.
“The town slut,” Jade enlightened.
“How do you know? You’ve only been here a month.” Colton gaped.
“It’s a small town, baby. People talk.” Jade shrugged and then leaned in close to Brea. “Rumor has it, Deanne’s tumbled more sheets than a box of fabric softener.”
The whole table burst out laughing, then Jade abruptly sobered and shot Colton with a jealous glare. “You’ve never bumped bellies with Deanne, have you?”
“Hell no!” Colton adamantly shook his head before quirking a brow at Sawyer.
“Don’t look at me. I wouldn’t tap that without a court order…then I still wouldn’t. They’d have to throw me in jail.” He darted a knowing look at Brea and her heart sputtered.
Did he know she’d been in jail? How? She snapped her head Colton’s way, but he was busy chomping on a piece of meat.
It was just a joke. You’re being too sensitive. Chill.
Brea licked her lips and forced a smile. “Well, looks like we’re dining with the only choir boys in town.”
Jade rolled her eyes and scoffed.
“Maybe not choir boys, but we’re not man-sluts either,” Colton proclaimed.
“Not anymore,” Jade teased dryly.
“So, how many are at the ranch this week?” Colton’s redirection of the conversation was blatantly obvious. She and Jade shared a knowing grin.
“Twenty-four. Twelve girls and twelve boys,” Sawyer answered before taking a bite of salad.
“What kind of ranch is it?” Brea asked.
She envisioned a 4-H youth farm program but was amazed and deeply moved when Sawyer explained the heart of Camp Melody. The pride in his words and the glow on his face told Brea that he was part of a rare breed. Not only was he living his dream but also helping bring happiness to the lives of weak and dying children. He was handsome and sexy, and nearly a Saint as well.
Seeing him in this whole new light made her feel guilty for the insults and defiance she’d subjected him to. His beauty was equally distributed on the inside and out. She clung to his every word, forgetting her food.
“It sounds amazing. I would love to see it sometime. I mean, if visitors are allowed.”
“Of course they are. I’d be happy to show you around and introduce you to some of the campers, especially Tina.” A sheepish grin crawled across his lips. “That cutie wrapped me around her little finger the minute I saw her.”
“You’ve always been a sucker for a pretty face,” Colton taunted.
Sawyer raised his head and stared pointedly at Brea. “Yeah, I know.”
And just like that…lightning struck her girl parts, setting them ablaze. She was unconsciously responding to him in ways she couldn’t control. Lowering her chin, she stared at her plate, wishing she were a strong, self-empowered kind of woman. But she wasn’t…at least, not yet. She was still starved for affection and stupidly wanting to fill that void with her body.
“Eat up, sweetheart,” Colton urged as if sensing she was sliding down a slippery slope to nowhere.
Forcing the food into her mouth, Brea tried her best to enjoy the remainder of the meal. Though she joined in on the various conversations, she was hyperaware of Sawyer’s every breath and word. She knew she was in deep shit when she sat admiring the movement of his Adam’s apple as he gulped his beer. It was pathetic that every sinful inch of him turned her on. Her heart and head both finally agreed…Brea was in for one hell of a fall.
When dinner was through, she handed everyone a fresh bottle of beer, then shooed them out the door to clean the kitchen. Sawyer held back while Colton and Jade stepped outside to the deck with Ozzie in tow.
“Let me help you with that.” He picked the plates off the table and carried them to the sink.
“Thank you, but you don’t need… Go on outside and relax.”
“Not until you go with me.” His wide smile made her knees go weak.
Yeah, she was toast. It was only a matter of time be
fore Sawyer laid her out and spread her like butter.
Colton stuck his head inside. He was wearing a strange expression. “Ah, Sawyer…you might want to come out here for a minute.”
Wiping his hands on a towel, he strolled out the back door. Curiosity had Brea following him. As she breached the portal, feminine giggles tinkled her ears.
“There you are, Sawyer!” A beautiful blonde with giant boobs waved from between two equally stunning women. All three were sitting in a bubbling hot tub on Sawyer’s porch. A hot tub Brea hadn’t taken notice of until now. In tandem, they all stood and wave, wearing different colors of string bikinis. Brea couldn’t help but notice none of them had a ripple of cellulite to mar their perfect, skinny bodies.
“We tried waiting for you, sugar, but got so impatient we had to start the party without you,” the blonde continued to explain.
Brea’s stomach twisted. The knife of jealousy burst the bubble of hope she’d foolishly fashioned after Sawyer’s kiss. The man of the hour, wide-eyed and mute, stood like a statue before darting a glance over his shoulder at Brea. Sawyer swallowed tightly before a look of panic tightened his face.
Jade moved in beside Brea, in support and solidarity.
Colton let out a long, low whistle. “Looks like you’ve got company.”
Jade sent an incredulous glare Sawyer’s way. Brea could all but hear her bestie internally yelling at the man to, fix this shit, or die a slow, painful death!
“Uh…yeah,” he stammered. “I-I guess. I should…”
Brea’s heart sank. She’d known she’d be taking a fall; she simply hadn’t expected it to be quite this soon. But it was a minor drop, like skinning her knees. Besides, it was better to take a little bump now rather than later. At least she knew that Sawyer’s kiss meant absolutely nothing. Brea was nothing in his eyes but another easy conquest…or so he had hoped.
“What are you doing over there?” Sawyer’s voice held a hint of annoyance.
“We wanted to play in the water, but the pool’s closing soon, so we crashed your hot tub instead,” a pretty, petite brunette explained in a seductive tone.
