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I saw Aiden’s face in the café when we first met, his blue eyes alight with mischievous curiosity. When he first smiled at me, I’d smiled in return, unable to restrain my lips from mimicking his. The time when Micah broke up with me and I had gone for a walk and fallen asleep in Willow Park. Aiden’s beautiful face greeted my puffy red eyes, offering a shoulder to lean on. Our first kiss, in his backyard. The way he had confessed how he felt, delivering words that could have been stolen from my own mind…
I leaned back up, clearing my face of tears and smiling at one of the few men who’d been able to claim my heart.
“I don’t blame you for the whole Ian and Brew thing,” I said through quivering lips. “I needed you to know before you left…I still don’t agree with your decisions, but I understand. ”
“Thank you, my Gwen. ” He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, his fingers gripping my shoulder. “I never deserved you, but that won’t stop me from always loving you. ”
When he turned and began walking away my body went into panic mode. It was tougher than I imagined watching him go. My feet itched to run after him, clutch his hand and follow him anywhere. I fisted my hands, my nails digging into my palms the tighter I squeezed. He wasn’t just taking himself out of my life; he was taking a piece of me with him. I could already feel the hole where the piece should be, leaving my soul shaky and fragile. Tears continued to splash against my cheeks, my eyes pinned on his back. A golf ball sized lump lodged in my throat and the air I was breathed thinned making me unable to fill my lungs completely.
“Aiden…” I took a step forward, faltering to move further. He looked over his shoulder, but wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I thought I saw a glimmer of moisture against his cheek.
“Where will you go?” I needed to know where he would be so I could visualize him in there, see him in my mind.
“They’ll be expecting me to go home to Italy. So I cannot return there. It’s between Norway and New Zealand; I haven’t decided. Check the mail. ”
He began walking, stopping at the railing on the far side. I held my breath, clinging to hope that he’d change his mind and stay. His body was still, his head tilted up as if looking to the stars for answers. And then he jumped.
My feet thawed and I raced across the patio, hitting the short wall as my hands gripped the railing and my eyes searched the space below. Off in the distance I saw a silhouette walking down an empty street and I knew this moment in time would replay in my mind for many nights.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Aiden turned, though he was at least three blocks away. He stopped in the middle of the street, the lamppost lighting his face. I couldn’t make out his features but I imagined they were as miserable as mine.
“And I you, my Gwen. ” I heard his voice as clear as if he were whispering it in my ear. It resounded in my mind, fading as he turned around and disappeared amongst the shadows.
As soon as I lost sight of him my tears responded by falling freely down my cheeks; my heart too upset to race as quickly as my mind was. I hadn’t heard any footsteps but flinched when hands fell on my shoulders. I whirled around, my eyes expecting to find Aiden returning. Instead, Lauren nodded toward me, a sad smile on her face.
“He’s gone,” I said through a sob. “He actually left. ” Up until it happened I hadn’t realized I didn’t really expect him to leave. The shock was gut-wrenching.
“I know, sweetie,” Lauren said, wrapping her arms around me and offering any amount of comfort she could. I willingly accepted, reaching my arms around her and resting my head against her shoulder as I came to terms with what just happened.
A shadow blocked out the light spilling from the French doors. I lifted my head from Lauren’s shoulder and found Dorian’s large frame occupying the space. We watched each other, unmoving and lost in this moment that was bound to throw both of our worlds of their axis. I couldn’t pretend to know what Dorian was thinking, but I knew my breakdown wouldn’t sit well with him. The magnetic pull we held for each other was undeniable, but we both knew it wasn’t on the level of what I felt for Aiden.
Maybe in time Dorian and I would get to that place, share something far more complex than raw attraction, but my heart wasn’t vacant just yet.
“He left something for you,” Lauren said and I released her from my grip, taking one last look toward Dorian just as he walked away.
Lauren removed something from the small of her back, producing a manila envelope. With shaky hands, I grabbed it, tracing a finger over my name in beautiful script. I looked up at Lauren, hugging the envelope to my chest.
“I’ll give you some space, but if you want to talk just let me know. ”
I nodded, forcing a smile on my face. When she turned and walked away, I went to the railing and watched all of the people completely oblivious to my heartache. My eyes trailed up to the star-encrusted sky as a soft breeze brushed against the wetness of my cheeks. I made a silent promise to myself that I would do everything I could to take down Holly and take care of the VC. I’d make my decision worth all the trouble it had caused.
Chapter Nineteen
My eyes fluttered open. I found myself back in the bedroom I first stayed in when I arrived in New Orleans. Sitting up, I rubbed a hand across my face, pushing my hair out of my eyes. I didn’t remember going to bed. I spent the night on the patio just staring at the envelope Aiden left me and trying to find the courage to open it. Somewhere between my contemplations I must have dozed off.
I reached over and turned on the bedside lamp. It was still dark which meant it wasn’t morning yet. The soft glow illuminated just enough for me to see. The door was closed, a small sliver of light slipping beneath. Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I gripped the mattress in both hands and took a moment for the last of my sleepiness to dissolve.
The bed creaked when I stood. I was still dressed in my clothes from the day before, though my boots had been taken off. Cutting across the room, I opened the door and looked right and then left down the hallway. All of the doors were closed, except for the bathroom. I headed in that direction. Once inside, I gripped the edge of the sink and stared at my reflection. My eyes were cushioned by puffy bags and my skin looked paler than normal. My dark hair was disheveled and in serious need of a meeting with a brush, but I couldn’t find the motivation to carry out the task. After going to the bathroom and washing my hands, I headed down the hall.
As I neared the living room, soft music lingered on the air. Rounding the corner, my eyes searched for the source of the beautiful melody. A chorus of pianos, violins and cellos came together to form a dark alluring composition. The entire living room was dark except for the glow of the moon filtering through the sheer curtains. Still, the music carried on the air around me, filling my ears with a peaceful calm.
Taking slow steps, I ventured further into the room. My eyes landed on everything, expecting to find someone with a radio on. When only furnishings and walls greeted me, I stopped in confusion. My eyelids grew heavy, seduced by the peaceful cadence of the orchestral music.
Slowly, the French doors glided open, a soft breeze washing into the room and caressing my face. I squinted as I tried to understand how they released by themselves. The wind was timid, unable to force such heavy doors open.
Not an ounce of fear resided within me. I was relaxed, albeit curious. The haunting lullaby resounded in my ears, lulling me like a newborn baby. It urged me forward, my feet moving on their own accord. I couldn’t feel the pressure of my feet against the hardwood floors. Believing I was floating, I stared down at my feet and let out a bubbly laugh. Sure enough, my toes did not touch the floor. I was hovering a good inch, my body carried forward and ensnared by the enthralling notes.
My hand reached out, my fingertips brushing the sheer curtains away. They danced in the wind like graceful ballerinas welcoming me. Stepping, or floating r
ather, onto the patio, my eyes found the silhouette of a man on the far side. I couldn’t say what he looked like, either my eyes or the music were playing tricks on me. The outline of his body was that of a man, but when he turned to face me no discernible qualities appeared. His face was a collage of colors, weaving and dancing in a wave to the rhythm.
He held his hand out and my body reacted, floating forward like it was controlled by the mystery standing in front of me. I clasped his offered palm and my skin filled with pins and needles as soon as I made contact. Still, fear eluded me. My head filled with fluffy, sleepy clouds. The man took a step to the right, keeping my hand held in the air between us. With a quick twirl, he spun me around and I giggled. The crescendo of the music grew louder, wrapping around my body as he twirled, dipped and glided with me across the patio. My cheeks stretched wide as the giddiness he caused consumed me.
He stopped moving and brought his opened palm to his lips, blowing across his skin. A flutter of glittery musical notes floated out of his hand and danced in the space between us. My mouth agape, I stared in wonderment. The notes sprung up, dancing toward the night sky where they evaporated, leaving behind multi-colored glitter to rain down. I held out my hands, anxious to capture the shimmering confetti.
“You and I have much to talk about,” the figure said. Ignoring the glitter, I stared transfixed at the sound of his voice. It was definitely masculine, but more intoxicating than the music he used to lure me with. My entire body went slack, my eyelids struggling to keep focus on him.
I tried to speak, to ask him who he was, but my lips wouldn’t corporate with the signals my brain was sending. The figure placed a finger against my lips, making a hushing sound.
“Death resides against a gray backdrop. Travel through the deserted hills until you reach the top. Only when the music sings should you stop. ”
My eyes were fully closed now, mesmerized by sound of his voice. He released my hand, my arm dropping against my side in slow motion. The music faded from my head, taking with it some of the fogginess. And I opened my eyes. The man was standing in his original spot, his back turned toward me. Only, when he turned around this time, he was clear. He wore a long black robe, the hood obscuring his face from detection.
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