by Alisa Easton
“I have to go back to my parents’ house anyway. I guess I will hear him out.”
“What if he wants you back?” Evan’s voice sounded strained and she wondered for a moment if he was truly worried he would lose her. Not her, of course, she reminded herself, but her body.
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it, I suppose.”
Michelle pushed her arms into her coat and zipped avoiding eye contact with Evan. He was still standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a towel and she knew that it was dangerous to stay so close to him for too long. She needed to get back to her parents’ house, hopefully before Steve got there.
“Does this mean our plans for New Year’s Eve are off?” he said watching her adjust her gloves and hat.
“Why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, because your husband is back.”
“This probably has more to do with a glitch in the paperwork than anything else,” she said sighing, “We’ll sort it out and he’ll be on his way. It doesn’t change our plans.”
Evan let out the breath he’d been holding. “Good because I have big plans for us.”
“I’m sure it will be wonderful.”
He moved forward to kiss her but she resisted. He looked into her eyes searching them in confusion.
“I’m sorry. I’m just really confused right now,” she said at last. She lifted up on her toes and kissed him lightly on his lips, lingering only long enough to inhale his scent one last time. Why did she feel like she was saying goodbye? She shouldn’t feel so sad when they’d barely had the chance to get to know each other in the first place. It had been sex and nothing more. Mutually satisfying and explosive, yes, but to him, nothing more than sex.
She turned and let herself out the door before he could say anything else. She already felt close to tears and she hated letting a simple text message from Steve get under her skin so easily. When she did see him again, she was going to give him a piece of her mind. What right did he have to keep playing with her heart? The dramatics had to stop.
She sighed when she got into her car. Evan had taken the time to clear off the snow while she showered earlier. In the years that she’d been married to Steve, he’d never done that sort of thing for her. She never minded so much at the time. She was a grown woman after all and she didn’t need a man to take care of her. Their marriage was a partnership in all ways and she could take care of things like clearing the snow off her own car easily enough.
And yet, now that Evan had made such a gesture, she felt a strange tingling inside her belly, the same way she felt when he wrapped his arms around her and held her close. Maybe she did want something more from a man than companionship. She’d offered a different side to herself when she allowed Evan to bind her hands and have his way with her. She didn’t expect to like that so much either and yet, she couldn’t get it out of her mind.
Twenty minutes later, she pulled into the driveway and turned off the radio but she wasn’t so quick to turn off the engine. There was a blue Nissan Maxima rental car parked off to the side and her heart skipped a beat at the sight of it. He was here. He was in the house somewhere, probably sat down with her parents talking about god knows what. She sighed and slammed her head back into the head rest. This wasn’t the way she wanted to start her new year. She had thought all the fights, anxiety, and confrontation were long behind her. She was finally ready to move forward with her life. His being here opened all of that back up again and left her feeling raw and exposed.
Reluctantly, she cut the engine and stepped out of the car. By the time she’d closed the car door, he was already coming out of the house to meet her on the sidewalk. She cursed under her breath. He looked really good. Life was so unfair sometimes.
“Michelle…” He reached forward to try to put his arms around her in a hug but she managed to skirt around him and make her way into the house.
“What are you doing here, Steve?” she said once she was inside. She still wouldn’t stop moving. She didn’t dare to look at him. Let him say what he needed to say and be done with it, she thought. If she had to look at him, she might fall apart again.
“Did you get my messages?”
“You told me you were coming here but you didn’t tell me why.” She couldn’t stop the anger from creeping into her tone. Being angry was better than being hurt.
“I told you I needed to talk to you. I couldn’t do it over the phone. I needed to see you in person.”
Michelle deposited her coat, hat, and gloves unceremoniously in the hall closet and made her way to the kitchen to prepare a cup of tea. She had to keep herself busy so she didn’t go ballistic on him.
“Well, you can see me now so whatever you need to say, just say it, okay?”
“Can we go somewhere to talk in private?”
“Whatever you need to say to me, you can say to my family.”
“Michelle…”
Even though she couldn’t see her parents, she knew they were probably somewhere close by listening to every word. Their presence gave her some semblance of confidence even if she knew that she would fall to pieces the minute Steve walked out the door again.
“Is there a problem with the papers? Is your new girlfriend pregnant? What the hell Steve? Just say it and get out of my life once and for all. You can’t keep doing this to me. You could have at least waited until I got back to Chicago.”
“Michelle, I miss you.”
She put down the mug and tea bag and rested her weight against her arms on the counter still keeping her back to him.
“What?”
“I’m still in love with you. I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately. That whole thing with Sharon, I mean, it was crazy, I know, and I hurt you more than I can ever imagine, but I’m not in love with her, Michelle. She doesn’t make me feel the way that you do. I couldn’t file the divorce papers. I couldn’t go through with it and I realized that the reason I couldn’t do it is because I’m not ready to give up on us yet.”
“Well, that’s just peachy,” she said feeling even more annoyed. She wasn’t going to win the fight against the tears. She could feel one slip past and trace a line down her cheek. She wiped it away absently.
“It’s the truth. I want you to come home to me.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Look, I know this is sort of coming out of the blue and I know you have a lot of reasons not to trust me anymore but that’s why it was so urgent that I talk to you in person. I want you to know how serious I am about making it up to you. I want us to work this out. I need you in my life, Michelle. Please look at me.”
She remained fixated on the counter staring down at her mug of steaming tea trying to come up with something to say but words failed her. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream at him for how much he had hurt her but she couldn’t will the emotions to surface. Instead she just stared at the tea and felt nothing at all.
Steve stepped tentatively behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. She resisted the urge to pull away from him even though the contact was making her uncomfortable. He was her husband, after all, and since he hadn’t submitted the divorce papers, that meant he was truly still her husband. She thought of the days she’d spent in Evan’s arms and her stomach twisted in knots for all the wrong reasons. She was going to miss seeing him.
“Please hear me out,” he said.
“Why should I Steve? After all you put me through? Why should I take you back just because you suddenly changed your mind? What about Sharon? I thought you moved in to her place?”
“I know, I know. I’ve been a horrible husband to you. But I’m your husband, Michelle, and you’re the only woman that I want to be with. Things didn’t work out with Sharon. She just isn’t the right woman for me.”
“Yeah, well three months ago you thought differently and now I’m supposed to just take you back like none of that ever happened?”
Steve sighed and let go of her, leanin
g back to prop himself against the counter with arms folded. She stole a glace over at him. He slumped in defeat and despite her better sense, her heart went out to him. She hated to see him like that.
He shrugged.
“I don’t know what I was thinking, I guess. I just hoped you would give me a second chance.”
“You took me off guard.”
“Is there someone else?” he asked softly.
“What?”
“Does he mean something to you?”
“Steve…”
“Your parents told me you were with a friend.”
“And you just assume that I’m with another man?”
He shrugged it off. She cursed her parents under her breath for not being able to keep their mouths shut about Evan. Up until ten minutes ago, she thought she was on the road to divorce. Now she didn’t know what to think.
“It’s no big deal,” she said.
“Did you sleep with him?”
“Why are you asking me this? It’s none of your business what I do with anyone. You left me to be with someone else, remember? Someone that you were sleeping with long before you broke up with me.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m trying to gage my competition, I guess. That’s all.”
“He’s not competition.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear that because you know I couldn’t live with myself knowing I’d lost you to someone else.”
He stepped closer again and used his index finger to tip her chin so that she was looking him in the eye. She tensed, expecting him to lean down and kiss her but he didn’t move.
“This isn’t fair,” she whispered.
“I know I hurt you. Just please tell me you’ll give me another chance. Everything that we talked about before our separation… the family you wanted so desperately to start… I realize I want those things too. I want them more than anything with you.”
She swallowed hard forcing the tears back again. Why couldn’t he have said these things three months ago? Everything now felt so complicated. She was so close to moving back home and starting her life all over again and she was okay with that. Why couldn’t he just let her go?
“Steve… I just …”
“You need time. I know. And I’m going to prove to you that I mean it this time.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Don’t say anything. Just think about what I said and have dinner with me tonight.”
“Okay.”
He smiled at her and she saw the hope in his eyes. All she wanted to do was run away and hide under the blanket.
“I’m staying at the Holiday Inn in town,” he said, “but I will be back to pick you up at six tonight. Does that work for you?”
“Yes, I will be here.”
“Good. Oh, and Michelle, wear something nice.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips lightly against hers. She closed her eyes and waited for some spark between them but nothing happened and the kiss was over too soon. She opened her eyes and he was already saying goodbye and walking out of the kitchen. She didn’t follow him to the front door. She didn’t dare to move while she waited for the sound of the front door to close. She braced herself for her mother.
“Oh honey,” Catherine said right on cue, “I’m so happy for you.”
Her mother scooped her into a big hug.
“Why did you tell him I was with Evan?” Michelle said pulling away angry.
“Who? Oh, that. I only told him you were with a friend. I didn’t say you were sleeping with another man. Besides, he needs to know he has to fight for you. That is a good thing. But that Evan, he’s nothing serious. He helped brighten your holiday mood a bit but now we can put that behind us and focus on the bigger picture. He’s back here for you, honey. He flew all the way from Chicago to tell you that he loves you.” Catherine paused clutching her hands to her heart. “Oh, isn’t it so romantic?”
“Not really, Mom. The man is a cheater and a liar and frankly, I’m not sure I can believe anything he says anymore.”
“Okay, okay, you’re upset. I get that. But maybe it’s worth just hearing him out? Sometimes we all make mistakes. Didn’t you hear? He wants to start a family with you. This is such wonderful news.”
“Honestly, Mom, I don’t think I even want to have a baby with that man anymore.”
Catherine made a clucking noise with her tongue in disgust.
“Oh, yes you do. He will make you happy. You just have to trust.”
“I did that and look where it got me.”
“Forgive, honey. It’s all about forgiveness. Don’t be such a sour puss at one of the happiest times of the year. Steve is a good man at heart and I think he means well.”
“You’re only saying that because he makes a lot of money and you want grandchildren. Of course he seems perfect to you. Me, I’m not so sure that’s what I want anymore. He’s not the only man in the world.”
Michelle dumped the untouched mug of tea into the sink and started to make her way to the bedroom with her mother close at her heels.
“Please don’t tell me this is about that Evan boy,” she said.
“What’s wrong with Evan?” Michelle said stopping abruptly and spinning around to face her mother again. “What is it about him that you and Dad seem to hate so much? Is it because he actually knows how to make me happy?”
“You don’t even know him and you’re… you’re…”
“Having sex with him? Is that what you’re trying to say, Mom?”
“Yes. Has the man ever even tried to take you out on a proper date? How can you respect a man that only wants to get into your pants, honey? He was a bit of fun when you were feeling down, I get that, but Steve, he’s for life. He’s your soul mate.”
“Soul mate? Really, Mom? Now that I know for certain, he is not.”
“Michelle…”
Michelle sighed and turned back to her bedroom without another word. She closed the door behind her and slumped against it. As much as she hated to admit it, her mom made a good point. Evan was a lot of fun but he’d never made any effort to actually date her. A man like that obviously wasn’t interested in getting to know the person she was inside. He’d forget her and move on to the next girl that dropped her panties for him. She wished that the truth didn’t sting so much. She couldn’t possibly have feelings for a man that she’d only messed around with a few times, no matter how amazing he’d made her feel. A little voice inside kept scratching, however, could Evan be her soul mate?
Chapter 3
Michelle showered and dressed in the simple black dress cocktail dress that she had brought with her from Chicago. She had been hoping to convince her mother to go to the ballet with her sometime between Christmas and New Year’s since it had been a long time since they watched The Nutcracker together. It used to be a holiday tradition for them and she missed those moments from her childhood. She dabbed a little perfume on her wrists and neck and triple checked her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t sure what to expect from this evening and the butterflies in her stomach indicated that she was more nervous than she had been on her first date with Steve.
She heard the doorbell ring and nearly jumped out of her skin. Her mother rushed to answer it and she silently cursed under her breath. She really wished her parents didn’t have to welcome him back with such open arms. He’d been a complete jerk to her and now he was being treated as though he’d done nothing wrong while she felt like the bad guy. She wanted to approach the evening with an open mind but resentment kept finding new ways of creeping in.
She took a deep breath and decided it was about time to rescue him from her parents. Her cell phone beeped so she grabbed it off the nightstand and checked it quickly before putting it in her purse. She wasn’t surprised to find a message from Evan. She hadn’t contacted him since her encounter with Steve. She still wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to see her tonight so she quickly texted him back to say that she couldn’t and left it at that. Hi
s response came back almost instantly.
Are we still good for New Year’s Eve?
She sighed and sat down on the bed for a moment trying to decide what to tell him. She was really looking forward to spending New Year’s Eve with him but in all fairness, if she were going to give Steve a second chance, Evan deserved to know rather than string him along until he couldn’t make new plans. Her heart sank as she selected the letters on her phone. Before she could finish, there was a knock on the door and her dad’s voice carried through wondering how much longer she would be.
“I’m coming, Dad,” Michelle said canceling the message and slipping her phone back in her purse. The message could wait. She didn’t have the heart to send it right now.
Steve fiddled nervously with the cuffs of his expensive-looking suit as she approached him and tempted to smile as he greeted her with a small kiss on the cheek. She said goodnight to her parents and let him usher her out the door to the Maxima. Before she could open the passenger side door, he was there to open it for her and wait for her to climb into the seat before closing the door behind her.
“So, where are we going?” she said as he pulled out of the driveway. The silence between them felt tense and awkward.
“You’ll see.”
She sighed slightly and thought of Evan. She wondered what he was doing right now. She knew that she shouldn’t think about him but she couldn’t help herself and before she could censor her thoughts, she had a mental image of him spread naked on his bed, fully aroused, and willing her to enjoy him. She sighed again feeling the dampness between her legs. She had to steer her thoughts in a different direction or she would never make it through this evening.
She was only partly surprised when they pulled into one of the most upscale restaurants in the area. She waited as once again, Steve insisted on being the perfect gentleman holding open the doors as they went. The hostess led them to their table and handed them their menus. Michelle took the menu and studied it carefully and when she didn’t say anything for a long time, Steve asked what she would choose.
