by Shawn Lane
“The evidence in your hand proves otherwise, Mr. Harrigan. Now, as you no longer work for the Law Offices of Clark Sterling, I suggest you leave the premises. I have had all your personal things boxed and sent to your home address via the United Parcel Service.”
He would not let this old bat intimidate him. He would explain to Clark. Tell him he loved him, would never betray him like that.
“I want to see Clark. Is he in?”
“No.”
Thomas took a step toward Clark’s office door.
Agnes stood. “Mr. Harrigan, he is not in the office. He is in court today. And even if he were here, I would not give you access to him.”
Shit, he’d forgotten about Clark’s trial. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Do I need to call security to have you escorted out?” Agnes asked him in a withering tone.
“No. I’ll go.”
* * * *
Thomas had been trying to contact Clark all day, but the man’s phone went instantly to voice mail. He knew Clark had a trial, but he didn’t buy he couldn’t call Thomas back all day.
His stomach twisted with a cold ball of despair, his heart hammering harshly in his chest, he punched the cell number in once more on his way to see Matt. It was nearly six o’clock, and Clark couldn’t be in court any longer.
“Hello.”
Thomas was so surprised to hear Clark answer, he couldn’t get his voice to work for a few seconds. He had the urge to tap his earpiece to make sure he’d heard right.
“Clark?”
“Yes.”
He exhaled. “I…Can we talk, please?”
“No.”
His heart turned to ice in his chest. “It’s not what you think, I swear.”
“Stop calling me, Thomas. I’m getting ready to block your number.”
“No! But I love—”
The line went dead. He gripped the steering wheel hard.
Okay, now he was getting pissed. Clark wouldn’t even let him explain? Was that how little he mattered to Clark? He could just shut him out just like that? Swat him like a fly?
Thomas pulled his car to the curb in front of Matt’s rental house. Matt, already changed from the suit he would have worn to work to shorts and a T-shirt, knelt in the front yard by a flowerbed, pulling weeds.
Thomas got out of his car and clicked the electronic lock. He didn’t really know why he’d come here. To ask Matt why he’d ruined his life, maybe.
Matt noticed him and smiled. He rose from the ground. “Hey, Tommy, I didn’t know you were coming over.”
Rage overwhelmed him. How dare Matt be all cheerful when he’d just fucked up Thomas’s life? Fucking asshole. He made straight for Matt and slugged him in the mouth, knocking him on his ass.
“Get up, you prick!” he yelled. As though he were someone else, Thomas grabbed Matt’s shirt and dragged him back up.
“Tommy, what—” Matt cried desperately.
He knocked him to the ground again. “Why the fuck did you do that?” Just when he would have hit him again, Thomas was grabbed from behind, his arms pulled back in a viselike grip. He turned his head to see Josh had him.
“What the hell?” Josh demanded.
“Ask your fucking boyfriend why he ruined my life.”
Matt, his hand on his now bleeding mouth, scrambled up from the ground, but he kept his distance, even with Josh holding on to Thomas.
“Are you okay?” Josh asked him.
“Y-yeah.”
Josh yanked Thomas farther away and then released him. “Mind telling me what that was about?”
Thomas turned away, rage and shame fighting within him. He’d just beat up his best friend, and it sickened him. He did not hit people. Clenching his eyes shut, Thomas tried to get it together. He hung his head.
“This is about the résumé, isn’t it?” Matt asked softly from behind him. “I-I tried to get it back, but they told me they’d already seen it and were interested. What happened?”
Thomas let out a shaky breath, still unable to look at either of them. “I didn’t get the job, and Clark broke up with me.”
“Oh my God, Tommy. I’m sorry. Why?”
His anger was gone as fast as it had come. But the despair wouldn’t go away. He turned to face them. Matt’s expression was crestfallen. Thomas felt like the biggest jerk ever.
“Aaron Rush used to be Clark’s boyfriend. Apparently things ended very badly with them. He used to work for Sterling, I guess. There was a big mess over the exchange of firm secrets. Anyway, Aaron Rush is the one who got my résumé, and he called Clark.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt said again. His eyes were very watery. “I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to hurt you. I never would, Tommy. I didn’t know any of that.”
“I know.” Thomas swallowed hard. “But, Matt, you can’t do stuff like that. You’re my friend. But you aren’t my boyfriend anymore. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me.”
Matt wiped at the blood in the corner of his mouth. “I was doing that, wasn’t I? God, I didn’t even think about it. I just thought it might be better if you didn’t work for Clark if you loved him. I know I wouldn’t want to work for my lover.”
“Yeah, you were just making decisions for me like you did when we were together. It was one of the things that used to piss me off. Only we’re not a couple anymore.” Thomas glanced briefly at Josh, who stood silently by Matt, close enough to protect him, Thomas supposed, if Thomas went berserk again.
“Did you tell him it was me?”
“He won’t talk to me. He’s shut me out completely.” Thomas found it hard to breathe. He didn’t know what to do to get through to Clark or if he even could. He had no job and no boyfriend. Maybe even no friends. “I’m sorry, Matt. I had no right to hit you. Can you forgive me?”
“Yeah, I already have. Can you forgive me?”
Thomas attempted a halfhearted smile. “I do. I know you would never do anything like that on purpose. I knew that all along.” He looked at Josh. “Are we good?”
“As long as you never lay a hand like that on Matt again we are,” Josh said with a nod.
“I won’t.”
“I can try to talk to him,” Matt offered. He’d scooted closer to his lover, and Josh put his arm around his shoulders.
Thomas shook his head. “I don’t think he’d listen. Probably would think I put you up to it. I can’t even get near his office. He has this secretary…I don’t know…it’s like she’s the Secret Service. I think he hates me or something.” God.
“What are you going to do, then?”
“I called my brother today before I came over here,” Thomas said. “He suggested maybe I should come visit him and his family right now. Maybe I should go to Boston.”
“Boston? No, Tommy.”
“Just for a visit. I need to clear my head. Get some perspective. This whole thing with Clark has moved so fast I can’t even think. It’s making me do crazy things.”
Matt slipped out from under Josh’s arm and came to embrace Thomas. “Okay, but you’d better come back.”
Chapter 11
Clark saved the draft of his e-mail and clicked out. He wasn’t concentrating anyway. He sighed and leaned back in his chair.
Three weeks had passed since he cut Thomas out of his life. Three weeks of unending misery. He couldn’t shake the idea he’d let Aaron win again.
He should have talked to Thomas. Maybe Thomas didn’t know anything about what happened with Aaron. Clark hadn’t told him. It could have just been a coincidence that Thomas had sent his résumé there. The fact Thomas wanted to leave his firm stung anyway, but he could get over that.
He picked up his handset and dialed Thomas’s home phone. After four rings, his answering machine picked up. It was just a pre-recorded computerized voice, but at the end instead of the beep, the machine cut off with the voice saying, “Voice mail full.”
He was about to try Thomas’s cell number when he heard a shout from outside his office.
“I know all about you, lady, and you aren’t going to keep me from seeing him,” a male voice shouted. It sounded vaguely familiar.
Frowning, Clark went to his office door, opened it, and then went out to his outer office. Standing in front of Agnes’s desk, his face a dark thunderous red, was Thomas’s friend Matt.
“I’m calling the police,” Agnes said stonily. Her hand was already on the phone.
“No, Agnes, it’s all right. Matt Loring, right?”
Matt nodded. “Yeah. Is there somewhere we can talk without your gargoyle being present?” He shifted a derisive look at Agnes. To her credit, she glared right back.
Clark cleared his throat. “Yes, my office.” He stepped aside to let Matt pass into his outer office. “Thank you, Agnes,” he said to his still fuming secretary. He was about to turn away and go back into his office with Matt when he remembered something he’d decided he needed to take care of. “And can you tell Denise Copeland I’d like to see her later?”
“Yes, sir.”
He closed the door and gestured to a small couch he had in the outer office he sometimes used for meetings or when clients had to wait for him.
Matt sat down but leaned forward, his arms resting on his legs. “Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush here, Mr. Sterling. I’m not sure you’ll believe me anyway.”
“Clark,” he said, sitting in a stiff, high-backed chair across from Thomas’s friend.
“Okay, Clark. This has been bothering me for weeks, and Thomas told me not to say anything, and he might even get pissed at me, but I’m going to do it anyway.”
“How is he?” Clark asked, wishing Thomas sat there across from him instead of Matt.
“Fucked up. Thomas didn’t send his résumé to anyone.”
Clark shook his head. “They faxed us a copy of it, Matt. I know he did.”
“You don’t know anything. Sure, Aaron Rush ended up with Thomas’s résumé, but it came from me, not Thomas.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, yeah, I figured you’d need evidence.” Matt reached for the briefcase he’d brought with him and unsnapped it. He pulled out several papers. After sorting through them, Matt handed the first paper-clipped batch to Clark.
“What is this?” Clark glanced at the pages but didn’t read them.
“Copies of e-mails between Thomas and me. The first one is Thomas sending me his résumé so he could get my opinion of it. It’s before he came to work here. He was getting it ready for submitting. Then you’ll see e-mails back and forth where we talk about it.” Matt handed him more papers. “That’s his original résumé and then the one we changed before it was submitted to the Sterling firm.”
Clark shifted through them but didn’t really study them closely. “So?”
“So…I told Thomas to send his résumé to where I worked. He was talking about having a serious relationship with you. He hadn’t said it yet, but I knew he was in love with you. I told him he should keep his options open because it might not be a good idea to be sleeping with the boss. I wanted him to fax his résumé just in case. I didn’t think it would do any harm, because he didn’t have to take a job there just because he talked to them. I sure as hell didn’t know about you and Aaron Rush.”
The knot in Clark’s stomach loosened just a little. It wasn’t as bad as he imagined. In fact, he could even understand where Thomas had been coming from.
“Okay, Thomas faxed it at your suggestion.”
“No.”
“No? But you just said—”
“He never faxed it, Clark. I thought maybe he would forget to do it. I knew from past experience if something’s not that important to Thomas, he’ll push it to the back of his brain. I didn’t think there was any harm in giving my firm Thomas’s résumé myself. I still had it on my computer at home, so I just added your firm information and brought it into the office myself on the Friday the bar results came out. Thomas didn’t know anything about it until I told him. He told me to get it back because he didn’t want to leave Sterling or you, because he loved you. But by then Aaron Rush had already contacted you.”
The knot in his stomach got hard and painful again. It matched the twist to his heart. Thomas.
Matt sighed. “You believe me, don’t you?”
Clark closed his eyes for a brief second and then stared at Matt. “Yeah, I do. God, I’m an idiot.” He was somewhat amused when Matt nodded.
“How do you feel about Thomas?”
Clark wanted to be telling Thomas how he felt instead of Thomas’s best friend, but he guessed since Matt went to all this trouble to tell him the truth, he wouldn’t hold back. “I love him. Where is he?”
“Boston.”
* * * *
Thomas took the escalator down to the baggage-claim area at Los Angeles International Airport. He was so damn tired and heartbroken, it was a wonder he could move. He’d been in Boston a month. His brother wanted him to move there permanently. He’d gone to great lengths to convince Thomas it would be for the best. He could get a fresh start, he’d help Thomas buy a house, and he pointed out that Massachusetts had been among the first states to make same-sex marriage legal, well before the most of rest of the country. With a thriving gay population in Boston, Thomas was bound to find the right one for him. His brother had made it all sound so appealing, Thomas was actually giving it some consideration.
Too bad he already had found the one for him. Unfortunately, Clark didn’t view him in the same light. There was also the fact he’d put all that effort into passing the California Bar. And he didn’t relish the idea of taking the bar exam for Massachusetts.
He located the particular carousel where the baggage from his flight was supposed to be and stood waiting with all the other travelers. Like most everyone else, he had one of those black nondescript rolling suitcases. The only thing to distinguish it from all the others was his large round name tag with a skull and crossbones.
Thomas watched several suitcases passing by before he saw one that was possibly his. When it got closer, he noticed it did indeed have his tag on it. He reached for the handle. A hand covered his.
“Hey, sorry, this bag is mine,” Thomas spoke without looking.
“I know.”
Thomas tensed, knowing the voice as well as his own. The voice haunted his dreams and his waking moments too. He straightened and let the suitcase be taken off the carousel.
“Clark?”
Clark’s smile was twisted. He saw dark smudges under Clark’s eyes, but otherwise he looked just as beautiful as the last time Thomas saw him. “Hi, Thomas.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” Clark whispered. For a second he moved forward just a step, like he wanted to hug or otherwise touch Thomas, but he pulled back just short of the contact.
“Okay.”
Clark glanced around the crowded airport. “Not here. Will you come home with me?”
Thomas stared. He couldn’t help it. Really, he hadn’t expected to see Clark again, and now that he was standing there before him, he couldn’t fathom why. Clark had once said their personal life wouldn’t interfere with their professional life, but that had completely blown up in Thomas’s face. “What do we really have to talk about? It seemed pretty clear to me you didn’t want to talk to me before.”
“I know.” Clark did reach for Thomas’s hand then. He grasped it and wrapped his warm fingers around Thomas’s palm. “Please?”
Thomas nodded, not trusting his mouth to work just then.
“My car’s outside in the short-term lot.” He pulled up the handle of Thomas’s rolling suitcase and started wheeling it out. Thomas let him, following numbly.
They didn’t say anything else on the way to the car, and Thomas just got into the passenger seat. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.
Clark pulled out of the parking space, paid his fee, and got on the freeway before he spoke again. “Tired?”
“Y
eah, it was a long day.” And getting longer, Thomas thought. “How are your sister and niece?”
“They’re doing all right,” Clark said after a moment. “She hasn’t gone back to her bastard husband, and so far he’s staying away.”
“That’s good.”
“How was your visit with your brother and his family?”
Thomas bit his lip. He wondered for half a second how Clark knew, but since he’d shown up at the airport, Thomas figured Clark had been talking to someone. Probably Matt, who couldn’t seem to mind his own business, no matter what. “Nice. My…My brother is trying to talk me into moving to Boston.” He laughed hollowly.
“I see. And what did you tell him?”
Thomas clenched his eyes tighter, as if doing so would block out the heartache. “I said I’d think about it.”
Clark didn’t respond, just lapsed into a sort of tense silence. Thomas was kind of sorry he’d mentioned it. Not that he wanted to share small talk with Clark. Really, he didn’t know what he wanted because he didn’t really know what Clark wanted.
He must have dozed off at some point, because he jolted awake when Clark took the freeway off-ramp. Thomas straightened in the seat and wiped his hand across his face.
“Sorry, I did say I was tired.”
“It’s okay. We’re almost there.”
Thomas glanced around. The neighborhood was not familiar. “Clark?”
“Hmm?”
“This isn’t Wilshire Boulevard.”
“I know.”
Thomas watched Clark turn right onto a residential street. Wait, wasn’t this a suburb and not downtown?
Clark pressed a button on his visor, and a garage connected to a house popped open. Not just any house but the one Thomas had particularly loved. He was suddenly wide awake, and his heart pumped rapidly.
“You…You bought this house?”
“Uh-huh.” He pulled his car into the garage and turned off the engine.
“But—you’re living here already?”
Clark smiled just a bit. “It’s amazing what you can get with just a little extra money. I’m still moving in though. Come on. We really need to talk.”
Thomas didn’t get out of the car right away. He was still trying to process that Clark had bought this house. He watched Clark get out and walk to the door that connected the garage to the house, but still he just sat there.
