by Sharon Potts
“You don’t understand.” She could hardly get the words out for the lump in her throat. “I did it. It was my fault. And now my parents are suffering for it, and so many others.”
Lillian wiped the tears from her cheeks. Her fault. And she never saw her parents again.
She brought the blanket more tightly around her. She was in the TV room, on the uncomfortable sofa, not her own bed. And she was cold. So cold. She wished Harry were here to turn up the heat, to stroke her hair.
Someone was knocking on the front door. Who could that be? The Rabin boy at this hour? She checked the clock on the end table. A little after eleven.
Lillian listened for her granddaughter’s footsteps. Nothing. She was probably sound asleep.
The knock came again, louder, urgent.
Lillian put her feet over the side of the sofa. Surely Kali would hear the noise and see who was banging on the door.
The knock again. Then again. It must be some emergency. Maybe Kali had left the house. What if it was the police?
Dear God.
Lillian got up and started walking. She staggered and fell back onto the sofa. Walker. She needed her walker.
Her hands found it. She pushed her way through the pocket door, across the living room.
The banging had stopped, but Lillian still heard the reverberation from her heart.
Kali. Please God, let Kali be safe.
In the foyer, she looked up the stairwell, hoping to see her granddaughter emerging sleepily from her bedroom.
“Kali,” Lillian shouted.
No answer.
Lillian noticed a note on the foyer table. Had to meet Seth. Back soon. Call if you need me.
Kali’s handwriting was scribbled, as though she was upset. She had signed the note and left her cell phone number. So she was out driving around. Upset. Like Dorothy had been.
Dear God. Don’t let anything happen to her.
Lillian unlocked the front door and pulled it open, gasping for breath, looking around for the police officers. That’s who had come to tell her about Dorothy.
No one was there.
She stepped onto the portico. “Who’s there?”
No answer. The night was still and dark.
Her bare foot brushed against a small white box on the cracked coquina tile. Using the column for balance, she bent over and picked it up.
She took off the lid. Her heart was pounding, too hard, too fast.
There was a layer of tissue paper. She reached beneath it and lifted out a thin, broken chain. Hanging from it was a gold, heart-shaped locket.
She slid her fingernail into the seam and popped open the heart.
Her mother and father stared up at her from their faded photos.
Then she crumpled.
48
Kali was confused by what she saw as she drove toward her grand-mother’s house. The front door was wide open. Beneath the portico, a low shadow lay against one of the columns.
Her grandmother?
Kali pulled the car into the driveway, turned off the ignition, jumped out of the car, slamming the door behind her, and ran across the front yard.
“Lillian? Are you okay? Lillian?”
Her grandmother was emitting a low, deep moan, as though someone dear to her had died.
Kali wrapped her arms around her frail body and helped her up. Lillian, wearing only a light nightgown, trembled against Kali. How unsubstantial she felt—thin, sharp bones covered with a layer of gossamer skin.
“Everything’s okay,” Kali soothed. “We’ll go inside and I’ll make you some hot tea.”
Her grandmother kept moaning, over and over, the same pathetic, toneless sound.
Kali pried her grandmother’s arms from the column, and noticed she was clenching something in her hand. Kali could make out the end of a delicate gold chain. There was a small white box lying on the coquina step, but it appeared to be empty.
“Here we go. Almost inside.” Kali led her grandmother into the foyer, then closed and locked the front door. The note she’d left on the foyer table was on the marble floor, suggesting that her grandmother had read it. Why hadn’t Lillian called if she was frightened?
Lillian’s walker was next to the door, but Kali continued supporting her down the hallway and into the kitchen. She settled her grandmother on one of the chairs at the kitchen table, and went to get a blanket from the TV room. Everything in the house appeared much like Kali had left it less than an hour ago.
She wrapped the blanket around her grandmother’s shoulders, put up water for tea, then sat down across from her grandmother.
The old woman was still whimpering softly, but she’d stopped making that horrible moaning sound.
“I’m sorry I left you, but it was an emergency.”
Her grandmother didn’t respond. No concern or curiosity about why Kali had left.
“Did you have a bad dream?”
Her grandmother shook her head. She brought her clenched fist in front of her chest and grasped it with her other hand. The end of the gold chain dangled out. Kali noticed it was broken.
Kali leaned back in her chair, drained. All she had wanted to do after leaving Seth at the diner was climb into her own bed and lie in the darkness. She still couldn’t fully process the implications of what Seth had told her. All she knew was that her marriage and her life as she’d known it were over. How could she cope with her grand-mother’s terrors right now?
The kettle screamed. Kali got up, fixed two cups of tea with honey, and put them down on the kitchen table.
“Drink a little tea,” she said as she sat back down. “You’re shivering.”
Her grandmother slowly unclasped her hands from her chest and set something down on the table. A gold heart-shaped locket.
Lillian picked up the cup with trembling hands and took a sip. Her deep-set blue eyes looked haunted and her high cheekbones practically pushed through her iridescent skin.
“Pretty locket. Where did it come from?”
Lillian set the cup back down on the table. She picked up the locket and brought it against her chest.
Kali was tired. So tired. She needed to think about her baby. What she was going to do without Seth. She didn’t have the energy for this.
“He left it,” her grandmother said.
Kali looked up. “The locket? Who left it?”
Lillian slipped her fingernail into the heart. It popped open. She held it out for Kali.
The photos were faded, but she knew instantly whom she was looking at. The gentle-looking young man, the pretty woman with high cheekbones and a smile much like the one on Kali’s mother’s face in the graduation portrait. “Your parents. You told me you didn’t have any pictures of them. How lovely that you found this.”
Her grandmother shook her head.
“What?”
“My fault,” her grandmother said.
“What’s your fault?”
“I told Harry. I knew as soon as I heard about that terrible night, it was because of me.”
“What night?”
“They went around like crazy animals. Smashing, breaking, destroying what they could of the Jews. Everyone said it was because of the Jewish boy who shot a German diplomat, but I knew the truth the moment I heard what had happened.”
Kali leaned forward across the table. The details matched what Neil had told her about Kristallnacht. “What truth, Lillian?”
Her grandmother raised her face. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “He was so angry. So angry.”
“Grandpa was angry with you?”
Lillian shook her head. She turned her gaze down on the dark tea in her cup. “Not Harry. The devil.”
The devil?
“I knew he would come after me,” Lillian said. “But I didn’t realize. Never in a million years could I have realized that he would take it out on them.”
“On who?”
Lillian squeezed her eyes shut as though she was experiencing an unbearable pain.
“On all of them.” Her voice was so soft Kali could barely hear her. “They rounded up the Jews. Took them away. Most of them, they released shortly after—at least for a while.” She picked up the locket and studied the faded photos. “But not Mama and Papa. That’s when I knew for certain, it was because of me.”
Her grandmother believed she was responsible for Kristallnacht? “Is that why you lit the Yahrzeit candles last week?”
Her nod was almost imperceptible.
So Neil was right. For some reason, her grandmother was carrying guilt over Kristallnacht.
“And now he’s found me.”
“Who found you?”
“He’s playing with me. Letting me know he knows. Trying to terrify me.”
“Who is?”
“Graeber.”
“Who’s Graeber?”
Lillian’s hand closed over the heart.
“The one who wants to destroy us.”
49
“I’m concerned that she’s completely lost touch with reality,” the young woman said.
Javier studied her as she sat on the other side of his desk in the dim office. The granddaughter. Her hands were clenched in her lap, but he admired the slope of her neck, the gleam of her golden hair, the intensity of her blue eyes.
“She made me close the windows and check all the doors to be sure they were locked. She believes someone is after us.”
“Us?” Javier raised an eyebrow.
“Yes. That’s the problem. Her paranoia isn’t just about herself; my grandmother believes someone’s out to hurt me and my baby. At least, that was what she was ranting about last night.”
“I see.” Javier leaned back in his chair. His fingers thrummed against the desktop. After receiving the phone call from Kali, begging to see him this morning rather than waiting for their afternoon appointment, Javier had been in a state of frenzied anticipation. He was very close, but he had to continue his calm, concerned act.
“I’m worried,” she said.
“Of course you are. But why don’t we take a step back, shall we? I’d like to have a complete understanding of what’s triggering your grandmother’s behavior before I presume to make any recommendations.”
Kali took in a deep breath and nodded. He noted that she was much more wound up than yesterday. He didn’t want to take a chance that something might happen to the child.
“First, tell me,” Javier said. “How are you holding up?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. You told me you’re pregnant. How is all this stress affecting you?”
Her hand went directly to her abdomen. “I’m okay.”
“Because, we don’t want to put the little one at risk, do we?”
She shook her head and looked down at the oversized satchel in her lap. “I appreciate your concern.”
“That’s one reason we need to find a solution to your grand-mother’s situation, and quickly.”
She pushed a strand of pale blonde hair behind one of her perfectly shaped ears. Her lips were like a frightened child’s—red and full and puckered ever so slightly.
“Let’s see where we are.” Javier sat forward and folded his hands on the desk blotter. It was fortunate the desk was between them and she couldn’t see his physical reaction to her. “When you were here yesterday afternoon, you mentioned the old films your grandmother had been in. Did you have a chance to show them to her?”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“She became very agitated, asking where I got them.” Kali played with the strap on her satchel. “I told her I was pretty sure I understood why she had hidden her past from everyone.”
“Yesterday you said you believed she’d lied to your grandfather about being an actress and was simply perpetuating the lie.”
“Yes, but there’s more to it.” Kali looked over at the closed blinds. She had long, thick eyelashes. “My grandmother’s Jewish, but she never told anyone.”
Javier’s heart took a bounce. How much else did she know about her grandmother’s past? “You discovered that since yesterday?”
Kali nodded. “My grandmother keeps finding objects that remind her of her past. First, there were the lace doilies I told you about, then last night, she claimed someone left a locket on the doorstep.”
“A locket?”
“Yes. A gold locket with photos of her parents. I’d never seen it before, so she must have lost it or had it hidden somewhere.”
“So she hides things?”
“I suppose, though I’ve searched the house and I haven’t found much.”
Javier sat up straighter. “You’ve searched your grandmother’s house?”
Kali blushed. “She’s just always been so secretive about the past. I was looking for anything about my roots, my family.”
“No need to apologize. It’s very gratifying to go through old pictures and see what our ancestors looked like. How much we resemble them.” He smiled.
She glanced away. “I didn’t find any pictures. I never knew anything about my past or my ancestors until I saw my grandmother’s old films, and then the locket with her parents’ photos.”
“I see.”
“But apparently my grandmother has some hidden stash. I think she planted the locket and maybe the doilies, and then acted surprised when she found them.”
“Each discovery gives her a nudge to talk about her past,” Javier said. “She clearly wants the truth to come out.”
“I thought so, but I’m not sure anymore. She’s terrified. My neighbor’s at the house watching her, but my grandmother insisted that he stay in the same room with her and bring his dog.”
“His dog?”
“I guess as protection against this threat she’s imagined.”
The shrill sound of brakes from a passing bus pierced the office.
“Tell me more about the locket,” Javier said.
“When I came home last night, she was outside the house, clinging to one of the columns, making these awful moaning sounds.”
Exactly as Javier observed from his hiding place behind the hedges.
“I brought her inside, and she told me someone had left the locket, hoping to frighten her.”
“What did your neighbor say happened?”
“He wasn’t there.”
Javier scrunched up his brow and acted perplexed. He’d been wondering why Kali had left in such a hurry last night. He needed to understand all the players and exactly what was going on in Kali’s life before he proceeded. “You left your grandmother alone in the house?”
“It was an emergency.”
Javier waited. The sound of honking horns from the street below filled the room.
“My husband,” she said finally.
Again, Javier raised an eyebrow. “Is everything all right?”
Kali twisted the strap of the satchel around her finger and looked down. Her nose reddened, as though she was about to cry.
“I don’t mean to pry. But as I told you the other day, I’m just as concerned about your well-being as your grandmother’s.”
Her eyes watered. She covered them and turned her face so he couldn’t read it. In profile, she had the lovely grace of Leli Lenz in the films. He watched her full breasts rise and fall as she took several deep breaths.
This was going to be a pleasure, he thought. Once the grandmother was disposed of, he would take the granddaughter away somewhere, and then—
“I’m sorry,” she said, taking her hand away from her face and turning to look at him. Her eyes were red rimmed, but she’d composed herself.
“No need to apologize. This is a stressful, emotional time.”
“My husband wants out of our marriage.” She said it in a surprisingly strong voice.
Javier felt his lower lip twitch. He brought his fingers up, as though stroking his cheek thoughtfully. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
She nodded and pulled on a strand of flaxen hair. He watched her throat expand and contract as she swal
lowed.
“You have a lot on your shoulders. I’m glad you’ve come to me, Kali. At least I can be a sounding board and try to help you deal with your grandmother’s situation.”
“Thank you.”
And she took in another deep breath, causing her beautiful breasts to tremble as she exhaled.
50
Kali got out of her car and stood outside her grandmother’s house, not quite ready to go inside to deal with her. She felt raw inside and out, as though her lungs, heart, and skin had all been scorched in a raging fire. She didn’t want to touch anything, or even breathe. Every movement brought pain.
She slowly took in a breath of cool, fragrant air and realized it was a gorgeous day. How was that possible? She looked up at the cloudless blue sky. The brightness of the sun sliced through her eyes. She squeezed them shut. Pain. Everything brought pain.
She heard the front door open and turned to see Neil leaving the house with Gizmo. The dog pulled its leash out of Neil’s hand and ran to greet Kali, spinning around and panting, then looking up at her with his one eye. Kali leaned over and petted him, surprised that instead of hurting her hand, the soft fur soothed it.
The raw pain was all in her head.
“So how’d it go?” Neil asked, retrieving Gizmo’s leash from the grass.
“Okay, I guess.” Kali straightened back up.
Neil didn’t press her, for which she was grateful. He was wearing a wrinkled T-shirt. Probably the one he’d slept in. She could tell she’d awakened him when she called earlier to ask if he’d watch her grandmother while she went to talk to Dr. Guzman. She’d told him about the gold locket, but nothing more.
“How’s Lillian doing?” Kali asked.
“She wanted to go to her bedroom, so I carried her up the stairs and settled her in bed.”
“Great. She’ll probably tell me she’d prefer being back down in the TV room.”
“I can carry her back down, if you’d like me to.” He grinned with his even white teeth. Then he reached out and took something out of her hair. She inadvertently flinched.
He held out a red flower from the poinciana tree. “You look tired.”
