“I’m going to step outside and call Mike. Let him get the information and start to run down the lead. I’ll be right back. Don’t move,” he ordered Erin.
Since she was suddenly dizzy and shaken, she wasn’t about to argue with the command.
• • •
Although Erin had decided to go all in with Cole, after his possessive show about sleeping with her and her not seeing other men, she’d also expected him to act first. But in the last forty-eight hours, he’d been on his best behavior, leaving Erin with the decision about how to start showing him the kind of future he could have with her. It wasn’t all about sex; that much she understood.
A life with her included friends, family, dinners out, and work functions. She had the latter coming up Saturday night and she’d already informed Cole he’d need a suit and tie, which had necessitated a mall trip after work the other day. They had Nick’s party on Sunday, which was another place she could out them in public by being affectionate in front of others, if that was her intention. But she couldn’t do any of those things if she and Cole didn’t establish a change in their relationship here. At home.
It would have to be tonight, then, Erin decided, nerves making her stomach dance and flutter. But first she had to deal with welcoming her parents home, and of course telling them her news. From the shooting to her pregnancy, they were completely in the dark.
She had no desire to have such a personal conversation in front of her brothers, who were already biased against Cole. In fact, she decided she’d have to talk to her mom alone, and discuss how to break the truth to her father. She didn’t think her brothers would have the nerve to be the ones to tell Simon that news.
Erin changed from her work clothes, choosing a sexier panty and bra set than normal because she planned to end up in Cole’s bed. But when she attempted to button her jeans, she had no luck closing them. Overnight they had stopped fitting. She stripped them off, walked to her closet, and began a systematic trying-on of her casual clothes, only to have the same result.
Frustrated, she tossed item by item onto the bed.
“Erin, almost time to go,” Cole called from the hallway, knocking on her door.
“I’m not going anywhere,” she yelled back, eyeing the pile in disbelief.
He entered without knocking.
She didn’t bother to cover up. First, he’d seen it all before. Second, she was too upset with herself for not thinking ahead about buying maternity clothes. And third, she had a plan, and belly or not, she might as well see if he responded.
He did. One look and his eyes glazed with desire, and relief flowed through her. She did everything she could not to squeeze her legs together in an effort to alleviate the sudden ache in her core.
“What’s going on?” he asked, his voice gruff, the raspy sound setting her nerve endings aflame.
“Umm, I’m having a . . . malfunction.”
He cocked his head to one side, his gaze never leaving her exposed body. “Explain.”
She gestured to the bed. His gaze followed the direction of her hand and blinked in shock. “Whoa. Your closet explode?”
“Along with my middle,” she muttered. “Nothing fits.”
He was gentleman enough not to comment. “Why not wear what you had on for work?” he asked, rather diplomatically, she thought.
“That was tight too.” She felt her cheeks heat. “I had to unbutton the skirt and then untuck my shirt so the blouse covered the waist. The skirt kept falling down and it wasn’t comfortable.” She knew she sounded like a grumbling, whiny pain in the ass.
She didn’t care.
Cole chuckled, annoying her further. “What’s so funny?” she snapped.
“Nothing.” He held up both hands, the nervous expression of a man dealing with a hormonal female on his face. “Look, I don’t think your parents would appreciate it if you showed up in my sweatpants. Don’t you have something you can put on until we can get you shopping?”
“We?” Though she ought to be used to him grouping them as a couple whenever she needed to go somewhere or do something, he always caught her off guard.
Or maybe it was the lurch in her chest when he used the term we, causing hope to settle in her heart, that upset her so much.
She folded her arms across her chest while he attempted not to look down at her bare legs and the slight swell of her stomach that peeked beneath her silk camisole.
“If you need to go shopping, I’m going to have to drive you, so yes. We. Now, are you going to get dressed for your parents, or is show-and-tell the way you want to break the news?” Cole studied her patiently.
Contrarily, she threw up her hands in frustration. “Fine. These seemed the loosest.” She grabbed a pair of black pants from the pile. “I’ll just leave them unbuttoned and hope nobody notices.”
She waited, but he didn’t leave so she could dress, so she started pulling on her pants anyway.
“Erin?”
“Hmm?”
“I meant it earlier when I offered to go with you to talk to your parents.” He’d offered on the drive home from work and she’d put him off, needing time to think. “I know you don’t need my protection while you’re there with your brothers and father, but you don’t have to face your parents alone.”
His words disarmed her irrational—and yes, hormonal—anger over her lack of wardrobe. As usual when dealing with Cole, her emotions ran the gamut from being frustrated to being thrown completely by his kindness and concern.
“Talk about facing a dad with a shotgun.” She couldn’t help but tease him.
He grimaced and she got serious. “I appreciate you being willing to step up,” she said softly, admiring his courage in his willingness to face her father, the police chief. She drew a deep breath before explaining her decision to go alone. “I just think since we’re not a couple, this is something I need to do on my own.”
Erin might want them to be one, she might be planning to use everything in her arsenal to get him to come around and see things her way, but she wouldn’t set her parents up for disappointment by showing up with Cole to announce her pregnancy. Not when the reality was that she’d be mostly doing this alone.
“Fine,” he bit out, obviously hurt by her answer.
Erin understood, but she hadn’t made her choice lightly. In fact, she’d talked it over with Sam, who so far had been the more rational brother to deal with, and he’d agreed.
Cole stalked to the door and turned, bracing a hand on the frame. “Just come on down when you’re ready. I’ll drop you at your folks’ before I head over to Joe’s. You can ring me when you’re done and I’ll get you on the way home.”
Erin bit down on her lower lip, knowing she was about to dig the knife in deeper. “Umm, my brother called a little while ago. He offered to pick me up and bring me home. I figured I’d give you a break from babysitting me and said yes.”
Cole’s hand tightened on the doorframe. “Fucking Mike.”
Erin winced. “Actually, it was Sam.” She just hadn’t had a chance to tell Cole he was off duty before her clothing dilemma sidetracked her.
He shrugged as if he didn’t care, but she knew the damage was done.
“I’ll be at Joe’s, enjoying my break. Make sure you call or text when you’re on your way back and I’ll meet you here.” He walked out, his footsteps ringing as he hit the hall, leaving Erin with a stomachache and a tiny hole in her heart.
• • •
It was so good to have her parents back and the whole family in one place. Sam, Mike and Cara, and Erin were all at the house. Erin didn’t realize how much she’d missed her folks until she found herself wrapped in their welcoming embrace. Suddenly the stress of her life caved in on her and she burst into tears.
Ella Marsden stepped back and braced her hand on Erin’s shoulders. “I’m here now.” She looked over Erin’s shoulder to Simon, Mike, and Sam. “We’ll be back. You all catch up without us.” Then, taking Erin’s hand, Ella led her
to the kitchen, her mother’s domain and sanctuary.
“You know what that’s about?” Erin heard her father ask her brothers.
She cringed, not knowing what they’d reveal, but after her emotional outburst, she figured everything was a fair guess.
“What’s going on?” her mother asked.
Erin looked at her mom, who appeared healthy and happy. The wavy auburn hair she’d shared with Erin framed her face. If possible, the stress of Simon’s cancer last year had dissipated, thanks to their overdue vacation, and Erin was pleased.
“I guess you wouldn’t rather tell me about your trip?” she asked, hoping to stall the inevitable.
Her mother shot her a look that, when Erin and her brothers were kids, had meant Talk now, or else.
“Okay.” Erin glanced down at her hands, which she’d begun twisting together. “The night of Mike’s wedding, I was feeling . . . out of sorts.”
“Lonely,” Ella said softly.
Eyes filling again, Erin nodded. “It seemed like everyone around me was finding that special someone. I guess I was feeling sorry for myself, so I stopped at Joe’s on the way home and . . . Cole Sanders was there.”
Ella’s face remained understanding just as she kept silent, letting Erin tell the story at her own speed.
“We danced. One thing led to another and . . . we had a one-night stand.” Erin didn’t meet Ella’s gaze. Discussing sex with her mother wasn’t exactly comfortable. “And it was just that one night.” No need to mention how many times that evening, Erin thought. “He barely spoke to me in the days afterward.”
“And that hurt your feelings,” Ella said with a woman’s wisdom and a parent’s understanding.
Erin nodded. “A lot. But I understood. He’d just come back to town and he obviously had been through something bad before coming home.” She drew a deep breath. “About a month later, I started getting nauseous.”
“Oh my God.” Ella clasped Erin’s clenched hands. Obviously there was no need to go on. Her mother got the point loud and clear.
“I guess I didn’t want to face it, because I didn’t let myself make the connection, and as a result I didn’t take a test for a while. Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to tell anyone, because I needed to process it myself.”
“Does Cole know?”
Erin exhaled a long breath. “He does now, but he didn’t then.” She lifted her head, met her mom’s gaze. “There’s more.”
“I’m listening.” To her mother’s credit, she held on to Erin’s hand and didn’t say a word, not judging or asking questions.
“The day after you left, I was on my way to work when I was shot in the parking lot.”
“What!” Ella’s face leached color.
“I’m fine, Mom. I promise. The bullet passed through my arm. No permanent harm done. And I’ll explain everything I know about the shooting, which isn’t much, in a few minutes. Anyway, I was taken to the hospital, and when Mike went to find Sam, he had Cole wait outside the cubicle where they were treating me. Cole heard the doctor mention I was pregnant. That’s how he found out.”
“Good Lord, I don’t know what to react to first.”
Erin winced. “How about you let me finish.”
Her mother’s eyes opened wide. “There’s more?”
“Not too much. Cole and Mike argued over who would take me from the hospital. I insisted that I was going home. Cole said he was going with me. Mike wanted me to have round-the-clock protection and finally agreed to Cole staying with me, which I thought was ridiculous, since I figured it was a random shooting.”
“It wasn’t?” Her mother’s voice took on a harsh, yet worried, tone.
Erin shrugged. “It doesn’t look like it.” She told her mother about the roadkill delivery to her front door. “In the meantime, Cole told me that Mike and Sam have a lead, thanks to the ballistics on the gun. But now they’re not sure the two things are related, because a shooting is major and roadkill is a de-escalation. It doesn’t make sense. Plus the note with the animal said, ‘Leave him alone,’ and that’s just odd.”
Ella stood and began pacing the kitchen. “First, you should have called me.”
Erin exhaled long and hard, having expected this. “You were on a cruise. You’d just gone through a hellish year and you deserved the time away with Dad. Besides, you’re here now.”
“And not a minute too soon. You need your mother.” Ella held out her arms and Erin gratefully went back into her mom’s embrace. Her familiar scent eased the anxiety Erin had been living with for so long.
“Now, tell me what’s going on with you and Cole Sanders.”
Erin’s face heated at the mention of Cole’s name, while her body still reacted to the mere thought of him.
“I see,” Ella said thoughtfully.
Knowing her mother, she probably did. “He said he can’t make promises for the future beyond him taking care of both me and the baby. We haven’t defined anything, but I’m guessing that’s financial. And he’ll want to see his child when he’s home between jobs.” Erin crossed her arms in a comforting self-supplied hug.
Ella made a humming sound while she pursed her lips in thought. “It’s more than Rex gave me,” Ella said, speaking of Mike’s biological father.
Erin swallowed hard. “The thing is, his actions are so opposite from his words. He’s decided he’s in charge of everything, beyond the bodyguard thing. He cooks meals. He makes sure the fridge is stocked and that I eat well. He was insulted I didn’t ask him to come to my monthly doctor’s appointment and insisted he’d be there for the rest of them. And he had a jealous fit when Evan Carmichael reminded me about the event that we’re supposed to attend together on Saturday night.”
Her mother’s eyes opened wide. “Not the actions of a disinterested man.”
Erin shook her head. “He holds himself back from me emotionally. And he’s definitely scarred by how Jed treated him growing up. How he still treats him. My God, Mom, it was awful.” And she was pretty sure Cole hadn’t been in touch with Jed since he’d moved in with her.
With a sigh, her mother lowered herself back into her seat. “Jed’s a hard man. Very set in his beliefs and in his ways.” She shook her head. “He had little patience for a child, let alone an independent one with a mind of his own like Cole was. They butted heads so often I wasn’t surprised Cole went out looking for trouble when he was younger.”
“That’s so sad.” She couldn’t imagine growing up without a loving father. “I guess I was too young to realize how bad things were.”
“As deputy police chief, Jed was loyal and good to your father, and our friendship stemmed from there. We tried to tell him the damage he was doing in his private life, but he didn’t listen. To be honest, I was glad when Olivia took Cole and left Serendipity. But I didn’t realize how much he’d already hurt Cole by then.” Ella paused. “Does Jed know about the baby?”
Erin shook her head. “I’m sure Cole’s avoiding that conversation until the last possible moment. He doesn’t need to hear what a crappy father he’ll make from the man who still makes digs every chance he gets.”
Her mother’s face showed her disappointment. “I’ll have your father talk to him.”
“No. We should all mind our own business and let Cole deal with Jed. Speaking of fathers, I think Mike and Sam might be telling Dad everything.” Erin placed her hand over her belly.
“We’re not going to judge you, honey. Especially not me. That would be like the pot calling the kettle black. I just want to know if you’re happy.”
Erin looked into her mother’s wise eyes. “I was shocked. Now I’m scared. I’m excited too.” She drew a deep breath. “I’m on my way to being happy, but . . .”
“What is it?” her mother asked.
“Cole. I want to try and see if anything that’s between us can be real. So far it’s just pieces of a relationship that he’s unwilling to string together into something that makes sense. It’s like, I can feel how rig
ht we could be, and then bam, it’s gone.” Erin’s chest squeezed tight.
“I’m sure he’s scared, just like you are.”
“I know. But it’s more than that. He’s alluded to the fact that someone like me deserves better. More than he can give. But nobody could treat me better than he does, and that’s without emotional commitment or involvement.”
“Oh, honey, you’re in love with him?” Ella asked.
Erin sniffed, her throat full. “I can’t know that yet, but I think I could be.” If he opened himself more. If he could accept that he was meant to share in life, not just live undercover. “But I’m afraid he’ll never give us a chance.”
“Honey . . .”
Before Ella could finish, Mike strode into the room. “Sorry. I couldn’t help overhearing. I came to see if you were ready to join us yet.”
Erin shook her head, annoyed by the interruption. “In a few minutes.”
“Can I say something before I go?” Mike asked.
“Can I stop you?”
He settled into a chair next to her. “Umm . . . I might have overstepped and hurt the situation between you and Cole.”
Erin narrowed her gaze. “What did you do?”
“Michael?” Ella asked, her voice low.
“Back when you were shot? I confronted him at the hospital. I said a few things and he took them to mean I thought he wasn’t good enough for you.”
“And you didn’t correct him?” Erin asked, her voice rising.
Mike shook his head. “I agreed with him”—he held up his hands—“but you have to understand I’d just found out you were pregnant. And you’d just been shot.” To his credit, her brother appeared embarrassed, but he sure hadn’t bothered to fix things either.
“It’s not like you’ve done anything to make him feel better about things since, so cut it with the puppy dog eyes. I’m not buying the whole contrite act.”
“Erin, Michael, stop. What’s done is done. But Michael, you of all people know what it’s like to doubt yourself. What were you thinking, talking to Cole that way?” Ella asked, sounding disappointed in her son.
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