"I came to this world because I would not accept a challenge from my brother. He had already killed one of our sisters, and I had no interest in taking his position, so I left."
I put my hand over my mouth. "Your brother killed your sister?"
"Half-brother and half-sister, but yes. He wanted to maintain his status and knew we could be a threat. I could either fight or leave. I chose to try this world."
"I am so sorry, Rider. I had no idea."
"This is the only area of this world I care about. I did not wish to leave, but I did not wish to fight."
"I don't want to fight," I said. "I don't understand why you thought I would want to fight."
"You challenged me the morning after Einar came to your house. I thought it was because of Vincent, but I did not understand. I still do not understand."
"I don't know what happened that morning," I said. "And I don't understand it any more than you do."
"Vincent has suggested you have been imprinted with the memories of others. Something in you made the challenge."
"But it wasn't me, and I don't know how to fix it. Can we forget it ever happened?"
Rider hesitated. "There have been other mistakes."
"Whatever it is, tell me and I'll try to stop."
He shook his head. "The ones you have made I am not concerned with. You do not always know."
"Huh, that's putting it mildly."
"These are the ones I have made. Decisions which were not right. Friends in my world and friends in yours do not do these things."
I frowned and looked at him. "I don't remember anything you've done."
He stayed silent for a moment as though lining things up in his head. "When we came back from the city. After we got Vincent back, I told Ethan what happened. Not everything, but more than I should have. I asked Logan about it afterward and he thought it was a mistake. He told me to tell you about what I said, but I did not."
"That's what you're worried about? I knew that."
Rider's brow furrowed. "Ethan told you?"
"There were some things he said which made me assume you told him. I was going to ask you about it, but finding Frank made me forget."
He nodded. "As I struggled to make my decision about the challenge, I was not happy with you."
"Yeah, I could tell." I tried to keep any bitterness out of my voice, but I still remember him kicking me out of the hospital room after he'd been shot.
"I tried to make it easier for me to decide."
The conversation was becoming uncomfortable and I had no idea what to say.
"In the mountains, after you were injured by the wolf, I told Ethan about you and Vincent."
"About our souls? I know that. It doesn't matter."
"It has made it so you two may never truly become friends."
"It's not that big of a deal. Ethan and I weren't right for each other anyway."
Rider scooted back and leaned against the wall next to me. "I do not understand why you are with him if you are not right for each other."
"I'm not. We broke up."
"Because of what I said." It was a statement more than a question.
"No, I messed that relationship up on my own. I kept things from him. You shouldn't do that with someone you want to stay with. You shouldn't feel the need to hide things. At least not with anything that would be important to them."
"Does Vincent know you are no longer with Ethan?"
I shrugged. "I guess so—he said he's talked with Ethan a few times."
Rider nodded, and then sighed. "I told him about you and Vincent on purpose. It was not an accident and it was not for a good reason."
My brow furrowed. "What reason?" I never thought of Rider as someone who could do something mean, so I couldn't imagine why he would say anything.
He was quiet for a moment. "I had hoped it would change our situation."
"You thought it would fix it?"
"I thought it would make it easier to leave. It did not."
Things weren't connecting for me. "How would that have made it easier?"
Once again, he took his time in answering. "I knew it would make Vincent upset. And it did."
"But I didn't want you to leave. I still don't want you to leave."
"I did not know that until after you were gone." For the first time in our conversation, Rider looked strained. Whatever hold he had on himself began to break down.
"Well, okay. You know now. I'm sure we can get over it and still be friends."
"I did not know until the day we found you."
"So? I was gone. Now that I'm back, we can fix this."
"When you left, I realized I might not have to make my decision. I could stay."
"You can still stay now. No decision needs to be made."
Rider leaned his head back against the wall and didn't say anything.
"It doesn't, does it?" I asked.
When he closed his eyes and didn't answer, I thought over what he had said. Realization came slow.
I looked down at my hands and leaned forward so I wouldn't look at him. "You didn't want me back."
"That is not what I meant," Rider said. "We all wanted you back. There was one moment, after we knew you were alive, that I thought if you did not come back, I could stay."
My head slumped forward and I concentrated hard on my hands. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I am ashamed. It is not the thought a friend should have, and you deserved to know."
Worst homecoming ever. "Why didn't you talk to me… before I was gone, I mean? I tried so many times to talk to you, to see what I did wrong, and you wouldn't let me."
"I did not understand. I thought you wanted a decision and I would have to leave."
"How could you think I wanted you to leave?" I was raising my voice, though I didn't care.
"There is nothing else I can say," Rider said. "There is no good reason."
It was time to get a grip on myself. My mind was cluttered with things I worked to ignore. This, too, I could sweep away and bury under a corner. "It was a thought." My voice sounded dull, even to myself. "One passing thought. People think stupid stuff all the time."
Rider didn't say anything.
"It was one passing thought, right?" It was a stupid question to ask, but I had to know it was no worse.
"One I am ashamed of," Rider said.
That was something, at least. I leaned back against the wall and stretched out. "I'm sure there are several people who have had the fleeting thought something might be easier if I were gone." Had Vincent thought the same thing?
"I do not believe so."
"It would have Vincent off the hook. I'm sure there are several others here in the office that—"
"Vincent did not take your absence well."
I shrugged. "You never know what someone is thinking." I couldn't help but add, "Unless they tell you openly."
"Telling is better than keeping it in. I should have spoken to you. Now it is too late."
A jolt of fear shot through me. "What do you mean too late? You're not leaving." I was adamant about that last part. Sure, I may have been upset and more than a little hurt, but there was no way I was going to let him go.
"I have broken things." Rider sniffed and my heart felt squeezed.
What to do here? I didn't want Rider to leave. Our relationship had felt like it was crumbling around me for ages, but that didn't mean I didn't want to get it fixed. Maybe not today, with my heart so heavy, but tomorrow was always a possibility.
I took a deep breath. "I'm going to be honest with you, Rider. You were honest with me, so you deserve to hear the truth. There were times when I needed you in the past month or so and it sucked you weren't there. I'm upset, and I don't think that's going to change right away."
Rider nodded sadly.
I hurried on. "But it will change. It may take us some time, but just because we've messed things up, doesn't mean it can't be fixed again."
For some reaso
n, this didn't look like it cheered Rider up any.
"Look," I said frankly, "you're not allowed to leave, and that's that."
Still, not much of a reaction.
"What?" I asked, feeling apprehensive about what I was missing. Silently, I crossed my fingers and hoped it didn't get any worse.
"Vincent does not know," Rider said.
"Vincent doesn't know what?"
"That I thought it might be better for me if you did not return."
Hearing the words again stung, but I could tell he was twisted up about it. "Why does Vincent need to know?"
"I do not want to make another mistake."
"A, it doesn't have anything to do with him, and b, even if you tell him, he's not going to be that upset."
Rider shook his head miserably.
Why can't I just be sad about this and then have it go away? "Ugh. It was a flicker of an idea, Rider. We all have them. Have you seen the expressions Vincent has on his face sometimes? I'm sure his mind throws up all sorts of weird stuff. Sometimes, we can't control it. It's like when you have a dream. Sometimes, it just pops in our head and then it goes away again."
Finally, a spark of hope showed up. "Do you really think this is something which can be mended?"
"Of course it can, but don't tell him now. Wait until all this mess is over."
"Why should this wait?"
My lips drew up, though I tried to force them down. "It's my turn to be upset. Once I get over it, he can have his turn."
Rider's face fell again.
"No," I cried, pushing myself closer to him. "That was supposed to be a joke." I leaned into him, feeling better knowing my best friend would stay in my life.
"It was not funny," Rider said.
"No, it was a bad joke. But you should wait." I nudged him. "It'll be okay. I promise."
Rider leaned in to me as much as I did in to him.
"How are you feeling?" Rider asked.
"Useless," I said without thinking.
"How so?" Rider asked.
There was a knock on the door. Rider hesitated, but rose to answer it.
He didn't say anything when he reached the door, but waited. For what, I didn't know.
The muffled voice came from behind the door. "It's Vincent."
"You will wait until I am certain," Rider said.
Vincent didn't say anything, but waited.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"There are many smells."
I nodded and crossed my legs again.
Rider opened the door and stood aside to let Vincent enter. Once the door opened, I could tell Rider checked Vincent's scent again, to be sure. He wasn't obvious about it, but I knew him well enough to notice when he sniffed the air.
"Is everyone okay? Vincent asked after waiting for a few seconds, possibly knowing Rider was double-checking to make sure it was him.
"We are not injured," Rider said, being more exact.
Vincent walked in and gave me an odd look when he saw me on the floor.
Rider locked the door once again.
"Is Boone okay?" I asked.
Vincent tensed, but nodded. "He walked away unscathed."
"That's good," I said. "Where is he?"
"We're getting ready to meet downstairs," Vincent said.
"We as in who?" I asked.
"Boone, Logan, Hank, Kyrian, and myself," Vincent said.
My brow furrowed. "But not us?"
"It could be we are dealing with a changeling," Vincent said.
"Seriously?" All the other changelings I knew were nice people. Sure, they could turn nasty if they wanted to, but I had never thought we might be put up against one. "If that's what this is, aren't we going to need Rider out there?" If I had been up to strength, I would have included the fact that they’d need me. Since I wasn't prepared to tell anyone, I left myself out of the equation.
"Rider's busy," Vincent said.
Looking at the werewolf, who remained fixed to the wall and watching us, I could see exactly how busy he was. "Yeah, he's breaking under the strain."
"Rider is where he needs to be," Vincent said.
"He would be of more use out there," I said.
"He's the only one that can make sure the people around you are safe to be around you," Vincent said.
"Which I will do," Rider said.
Lines of worry were etched across Vincent's face. He looked tired, and Rider seemed dead on his feet as well.
"Fine," I said. "What do you want us to do?"
Vincent looked surprised at the turn in direction. "You two have to stick together. Rider, no one approaches Cass without your say so."
Rider nodded.
"Even me," Vincent said. "Especially me."
I turned a weak smile in his direction. "I know if it's you or not."
"Don't rely on that. It's Rider's approval, or rely on the Path if pushed. Nothing else."
I rolled my eyes. "Fine, okay, we stick together. Are we going room by room or something?"
"What? Why?" Vincent said.
I looked at him like he was an idiot, but mostly because he'd been behaving like one. "To find who's doing this."
"You're not going after him," Vincent said. "We don't know what we're dealing with yet. We're meeting so we can come up with a plan."
I stood and crossed my arms. "Why wouldn't we track him down? Rider and I may be the best shot we have at finding this thing." It wasn't my intention to add myself to the mix, but to stick with Rider, I had to actually be with him. Besides, I could still read the Path. Finding the person's Path may work as well as Rider sniffing him out, even without my former strength.
"Maybe, but you're safer here. They'll have to find another way," Vincent said.
I narrowed my eyes at Vincent. "That sounds like they agree Rider and I should be a part of this."
"If you two can track this thing, we have to assume you both will be targeted," Vincent said.
"Since when has that stopped us?" I asked.
A ghost of a grin appeared on Rider's face.
"Since someone forced you into another world," Vincent's voice wasn't able to hold the steel he might have intended.
I gave Vincent a sad smile. "But then I found my way back. And if I hadn't, I know you all would have found me."
Vincent looked torn. "Rider, do you mind if I talk with Cass alone?"
Chapter 21
"I will never mind you two talking. I will be in the hall," Rider said.
After Rider closed the door behind him, I turned to Vincent. "They want us down there, don't they?"
Vincent sighed. "They do, but I'm asking you to stay here."
"But if we can help, we should. Before someone else gets hurt."
"You've barely been back. You should be at home, but since you can't be, I am going to keep you safe."
I bit my lip, trying not to say all the things I wanted to say to him and stick with the issue in front of us. "You know that's not your call, right?"
Vincent's stony mask frayed around the edges. Even a stranger could probably read his weary frustration.
"Hey," I said, walking over to him. "What's wrong?" I put my hand on his arm. Instantly, warmth spread up my arm, and the air between us became charged.
He removed my hand, held it for a moment, and then put some distance between himself and me. It aggravated me, but it looked like it pained him almost as much.
"Rider said you weren't well while I was gone," I said.
"I'll have a chat with him," Vincent said.
"You look tired now. When was the last time you slept?"
"Sleep can wait."
"Why don't we go down to the meeting, and afterward, you and Rider can get some rest?"
"Is there anything I can do to keep you here?" Vincent asked.
"I'm sure there's loads of things you could do." Some of the things he could have done to keep me there, with him, made my heart race and my cheeks color. "But I don't think you're willing to do any of th
em."
"You're not released by the doctor yet," Vincent said.
"Like that would stop me." I grinned at him.
He smiled back and my heart skipped a beat. Dropping his guard enough for a genuine smile was rare and I cherished the look. "I knew you wouldn't stay, but I had to try."
"I get that. Especially after what happened earlier."
"Will you stick with Rider, at least?"
"Or you. The two of you are the only ones I can be sure of."
"Only Rider, Cass." I heard an edge to his voice that surprised me.
"Like I said, I can tell if it's you or not."
Vincent shook his head and moved closer. "I saw the doubt in your eyes when you looked at me earlier." He took my hand again.
"I was momentarily confused. That's all."
I wanted to close my eyes and relish in the feeling, but I could only stare at Vincent, who watched me intently. Caught up in his gaze, I didn't want to look away.
"I don't want to see that doubt again," Vincent said. "Stick with Rider."
My voice couldn't be trusted, so I nodded. For a moment, a split moment, I thought he might kiss me. Instead, he closed his eyes and tore himself away.
"We still have ten minutes or so." He drew himself back in, trying to get back to business. "You should give home a call. And maybe Ethan."
"You said Ethan knew I was back and okay. I'm sure that's all he needs. I'll call when I get home." Vincent looked like he wanted to say something, so I hurried on. "Besides, I still don't have my phone."
Vincent frowned. "No one's given it to you yet?"
"No," I said.
"I'll check on it." He drew back to his normal, everyday self, as though nothing had occurred between us.
"Can you tell Rider to get me in a few minutes?"
"When I said you need to stick with him, I meant by your side. If this is a changeling, it can get in about anywhere."
I grinned. "Nothing is standing between me and a shower. And while I know Rider wouldn't mind it, I'd rather be alone."
Vincent let out a small chuckle. "I see your point. Have him check the bathroom before he leaves you."
Did he think a towel would jump out at me? "Sure thing."
Wait, could a towel jump out at me? I mean, if it is a changeling, surely it would stick to people, right?
AIR Series Box Set Page 117
