I’d been much more optimistic when I’d written to her. Now, I wasn’t in the right state of mind to hear anything but encouragement, and I wasn’t sure I’d find that in her response. I put the phone back down.
I’d just started another movie when I heard a noise. I immediately hit Pause and looked up from the couch to see David in the doorway. “You’re home,” I said dumbly.
He nodded, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets.
“It’s late,” I added, noting his tousled hair, the same foreboding black of his loosened tie.
“I was out looking for something,” was all he said.
I understood. He’d been searching for answers all day, and I’d been here, numbing myself with nothingness and not making plans or decisions as I should’ve been. I hoped David would find his answers soon, because it killed me to see him this way.
“I’m exhausted,” he said.
I reached for the remote, shut off the TV, and went to stand. “Let’s go to bed.”
“No.”
I paused at the edge in his tone. Without the TV glare, the only light in the room came from the doorway behind him, turning him into a silhouette. I sank back into the couch. “Okay.”
“I fired Arnaud.”
“What?” I widened my eyes. “How come?”
“I found him in his office, door closed, with the new receptionist. Normally, I wouldn’t have thought anything of it, but after Clare’s allegations, I wasn’t taking any chances.”
I braced myself. As much as I disliked Arnaud, I didn’t want the sexual harassment claims to be true. I hated picturing Clare, the new receptionist, and however many others in that position. “Did you walk in on something?”
“Not exactly. They were sitting on the couch. Again—any other day, I wouldn’t have noticed. But this time, I looked at her, and she seemed scared. I pulled her out and asked if anything had happened.” David paused, and even in the semi-dark, I could sense his jaw clench and unclench. “Arnaud had tried to touch her a few times, and warned if she kept denying him, he’d find another secretary who wouldn’t.”
“Oh, God,” I said, sick to my stomach for them. “I’m so sorry. Did you confront him?”
“Obviously. He denied everything. But after what you said about not wanting to be alone with him, I pushed. It took some, ah . . . pressure—but eventually, he admitted to it. Clare, and the girl before her, too.”
With a small gasp, tears pricked my eyes. That piece of shit. The first time I’d met him, I’d known something was off. “I should’ve said something sooner.”
“It’s my fault,” he said.
“It’s not your fault, David.” I wanted to comfort him, but his stiff bearing kept me where I was. “You didn’t know.”
“I should’ve. I let them down. I tried to defend him.” He swallowed audibly. “And at some point, you could’ve been alone with him, too.”
I resisted going to him, assuring him with my touch that he would’ve done something if he’d even the smallest inkling. But I didn’t think he wanted comfort right then, so I just said, “You did the right thing.”
“He not only crossed the line, but he put the business in jeopardy, too—which means he gambled with my life. And our future,” David continued. “Those girls could sue us.”
I crossed my legs under me. “And what about your partnership flipping houses? Will you see that through?”
He gave me an incredulous look. “I’ll never work with that piece of shit again. He’ll dissolve our contract without a peep if he’s smart. I don’t care how much money either of us loses.”
His vehemence relieved me. I’d be thrilled to never be in Arnaud’s presence again. But something he’d said snagged my attention. It was no secret David had a temper. Even now, hours after the fact, fury radiated from him. And the wrong decision in the heat of the moment could change everything for him. “What did you mean when you said you used a little pressure on Arnaud?”
“I didn’t hit him,” David said calmly, “even though I wanted to. If it’d been you in his office, I would’ve.” He took a step. “But I focused on you. On what losing control could mean for me and how it would affect you.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“But I shook him up a little,” he said, then amended, “well, a lot.”
I could picture it too easily, Arnaud’s slight frame pitted against David’s massive one. It made me want to smile, but I said, “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” he said. “I should’ve listened the first time you told me how you felt about him.”
“What about Clare?” I asked.
“I apologized, said I had no idea about Arnaud. She’s going to reconsider the lawsuit, but I assured her I wouldn’t blame her if she proceeded with it.”
“I wouldn’t, either.”
He cocked his head. “She’d be coming after my money, too,” he said. “That doesn’t worry you?”
“No.” I didn’t have to consider it. “I told you already. I didn’t need any of this. I only wanted you.”
“Wanted?” he asked.
Want. Desperately. But showing him that would only make this harder. I clenched my teeth to stem a wave of tears. David had seen me cry enough and not being able to comfort me hurt him. “Can we go to bed now?”
“We’re not finished.”
My heart thudded once with his clipped tone. What if . . . was it possible he’d already gotten the answer he’d been looking for?
“Did I, or did I not,” he said slowly, “tell you several times not to go see Bill without me?”
Shit. I’d known David wouldn’t like that, and also that he’d find out eventually. My throat was suddenly dry so I nodded. “Yes. You did.”
He gave an empty laugh. “But why the fuck would you listen to anything I asked of you, right?”
“I went to Bill’s office, where I knew it would be safe,” I said defensively. “He’d never jeopardize his job for me, and he didn’t. He was perfectly compliant.”
“It doesn’t matter,” David said. “I want to be there. It’s not just about whether he gets physical. If he’s shitty to you, if he calls you names, I promised I’d be your shield. Why won’t you let me?”
Exhaustion rolled through me. I didn’t want to fight. “But it was good news,” I said. “He’ll grant the divorce sooner and without a trial. He agreed to the six months.”
“Six months, and your share of the savings. Jerry told me.”
“It only makes sense,” I said. “It’s my money.”
David took a step toward me, and my breathing shallowed. “You’ll do whatever it takes to keep one foot out the door.”
I wasn’t doing that, but keeping my savings was proving to be the right call. David still hadn’t given me his decision about us. I’d need that money if this was over. “I’m just being practical.”
“You said, just now, that you wanted me. Past tense.” His next step gave way to a prowl. “In your mind, this is already over.”
I’d let my guard down with David. Completely. The only defense I had now was bracing myself for impact. “I still want you,” I breathed as he stopped at the end of the couch. “No matter what happens . . . for me, this will never be over.”
Everything about him tensed, including his expression. He grabbed the undersides of my knees and dragged me to the edge. Back in his possession, after keeping my distance all day, my coiled desire sprung free, sending a thrill up my spine.
Positioning my pelvis so it was vertical against the arm, David licked his lips and looked into my eyes as he undid his pants. In his eyes, I saw his need for me, and he needed me bad for whatever he was going through. Not just physically, but emotionally. And I could fill those needs for him. Something told me I’d been the only woman who ever had. With my nightgown bunched around my waist, he removed my panties and flung them aside.
He propped himself over me with one hand next to my head and grabbed his cock in the other. I opened my legs wider as he
fed himself into me, grasping at tiny breaths as I took his length slowly. I clutched desperately at each inch, as if it were the last time. He rooted himself as deeply as he could before his thrusts began.
“You want me to leave you?” he asked solemnly.
“No.”
“Want me to throw you out with nothing?”
“No,” I said, and his drives grew harder, mashing me into the couch.
“Want me to break you, once and for all?”
I gasped as he hit a spot that sent tremors of pleasure through me. “No.”
“Then tell me so,” he said through his teeth.
Above me, his beautiful face blurred with my tears. His pain, on clear display, hurt worse than my own. “I love you.”
“Tell me you want me to stay.”
I put my hand to his cheek. “I want you to stay.”
“Beg me,” he commanded with hardness in his eyes.
“Please stay,” I breathed.
“That’s not good enough.”
Salty tears fell down my cheeks, and I bit my lip. He’d never tell me no, and he’d never let me sacrifice myself for him. Asking him to stay meant asking him to give up a life he wanted and deserved. For me. It was selfish, but he needed me to be selfish now.
He wrapped his large hand at the base of my throat to pull me onto him harder. “Beg, Olivia.”
“Don’t . . . leave me,” I choked through a sob. “Don’t ever leave me, David, please. I’m begging you. I couldn’t take it. I love you and I need you, God, I fucking need you more than anything in the world—stay, stay forever, David. Don’t leave me.”
As the pleas tumbled out, he straightened his back and levered my hips up in the air. His hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me into each harsh thrust. His eyes glazed over, but I trusted him, and I let him take me how he needed until I was squirming under him, fisting the couch, arching my back and mewling, sobbing, begging him to stay, and finally, climaxing with shudders that were lost in the aggressive way he fucked me.
“I’ve asked, I’ve begged, I’ve fought to give you everything. I want everything from you now,” he growled. “I’m sick of asking for it, and now I’m taking it.” He fucked me faster, my body just a receptacle now, each thrust with a louder grunt until—as if he was going in for the kill—his jaw set, his grip tightened, his head jerked up to the ceiling, and he erupted into me. He held me there a while longer as his eyes remained fixed upward, his wet cock sliding in and out of me slowly, leisurely.
He pulled out and dropped me back on the couch. I’d done hardly anything and I was breathing hard, but his chest heaved. Without a word, he turned and left the room.
I stood shakily and pulled my underwear back on. In the bedroom, David had sprawled out on his stomach, over the comforter, in just his boxer briefs. He was already passed out. I climbed in next to him and shut my eyes.
* * *
In the darkness of night, the rebelling tide threatens to pull me out to sea with each lap at my ankles. A presence behind me tries to both protect and consume me. It slides itself around my neck, pulling me close until it’s so tight that I can no longer get air. I try to pull it away, but it’s not the presence anymore that’s strangling me—it’s a snake with rough scales that slither along my bare skin. I open my mouth to scream, but I’m voiceless. As the presence dissolves, the snake untangles itself and swims away into the night. I dive in after it.
I jerked awake. Despite the cold, sweat trickled down my temples. I’d forgotten to close the blinds and moonlight streamed through the bedroom window, striping the comforter. David slept serenely, his back rising and falling evenly in the position I’d found him earlier.
I took my phone from the nightstand and opened Lucy’s e-mail.
From: Lucy Greene
Sent: Mon, November 26 04:16 PM CST
To: Olivia Germaine
Subject: Re: Hi
Dear Liv,
You know how much I’ve valued your friendship over the years. It’s rare to stay so super close after college. But I don’t feel like I know you anymore. Since you met David, you’re not the same person. Bill tells me that in the months following the funeral, you were so upset because of losing David, not Davena. That’s beyond me, especially considering the way you treated Bill during that time and even us, too, when we tried to help. Also, the Liv I know would never treat my sister the way you have.
The way you broke your vows makes me sick to my stomach. What you said at my wedding was beautiful, but knowing that it didn’t mean anything is a slap in the face. I’ve always liked David, but he’s a bad influence on you. Even though I disagree with your choices, I don’t want to see you get hurt. I know that the divorce is already underway, so I can only pray that you’ve made the right decision. And I will pray for you.
We have so much history, and I don’t want to dishonor that. At the same time, Bill and Andrew are closer than ever. I must respect Andrew’s friendship, because at the end of the day, my loyalty is to him. I think it’s best we don’t speak for a while.
Best wishes always,
Lucy
I ran the back of my hand over my wet cheeks. There was nothing left to say. I knew there’d be consequences to my choices. Losing a best friend was one of them.
Even though the love of my life slept right next to me, I missed him keenly in that moment. Like a wilting flower, my petals browned at the edges and dropped one by one without David’s nourishment. I needed to be held by him, to be revived by his love. And he was so close, within reach, but he seemed far away.
I eased out of bed and tiptoed over to the window. Soft snow danced in beautiful chaos. As always, Chicago’s cityscape stunned me, sleeping but still alive. I let myself get lost in its powerful, raw, dark beauty as I stood at the top of the world.
The first time I’d seen David smile at Lucy’s engagement party, it’d nearly knocked me off my feet—how had I not known then I was in love? Then, there was the first time I saw all of him, still mysterious and sinister, even when stripped down to nothing. Or when he’d let me cry into his chest after we’d made love in The Revelin hotel suite. It had been that moment when I’d known I was caught in a storm with no shelter.
I wasn’t ready to say good-bye. I wanted him to stay so fucking bad. I’d meant every begging word earlier. At least I’d held nothing back. Finally, I’d not only opened up for him, but I’d asked for what I’d wanted. Even if it made me selfish, I wanted him to stay.
I jumped at David’s touch. His arms slid around my shoulders from behind, and he pulled me against him. “Honeybee,” he whispered in my ear.
My tears had dried, but I shook in his embrace. “I don’t want to lose you,” I said to our faint reflection in the window. “Don’t walk away from this. Please.”
We sat that way for a while. When my trembling subsided, he released me, leaving me bereft. I closed my eyes at the loss, but it wasn’t long until he returned. His arms went back around me, and his lips came to my ear. “Were you afraid earlier?”
“No,” I whispered. “I trust you.”
His grip on me tightened. “Even though I knew my mind wouldn’t change, I spent a lot of time thinking today and last night. I thought about life with and without children. About life,” he paused, and I felt his tentative breath, “without you.”
My hands shook again as I realized what was coming. I pulled away, and he let me.
This was it.
I had to be strong. I’d laid everything on the line, and that was all I could do. I collected myself and turned to look at him.
The bright moon showed everything on his face. His eyes were so clear and determined that I touched my palm to my heart. And I knew that whatever he said next would be the truth. His eyes were his soul. They’d never lied to me, and for that, I would always be grateful. “David,” I prompted, not recognizing my own voice.
“There’s nothing in this world I want more than you, Olivia.”
My heart jumpe
d into my throat. I laced my trembling fingers over my chest. “But?”
“But nothing.”
My ears rang as I struggled to process his meaning. He’d stay. He wasn’t giving up on us despite all the reasons I’d given him, and no matter how many times I’d pushed him away. My eyes watered, threatening a celebration of tears. “David?”
He placed a hand on the side of my neck and leaned in. “I would kill for you. I would die for you. You are my everything. If you don’t want children, then we won’t have them. And if you change your mind, that’s fine, too. Just know that nothing can keep me away.”
I choked back a sob, overwhelmed with love and gratitude. David had seen me when others couldn’t or wouldn’t. He’d given me what I hadn’t known I’d needed. And now, I not only had a great love, but I could keep it.
His brows drew together. “We fought hard for this. If it’s you and me for the rest of our lives, how could I ever complain? It’s exactly what I wanted.”
I threw my arms around his neck. “Oh, David,” I whispered. “Do you know how much I love you? More than the moon, the stars, the world. You’re everything I never dared to dream.”
He shuddered under my body, then pried my hands away and stepped around me to stand in front of the window. Suddenly, he was alert in a way I’d never seen—nervous even. He was big, always dark and brooding in his own way, and so incredibly gorgeous in just his underwear standing with his back to the city.
“What—”
“I want that life with you, too,” he interrupted. “Traveling, eating, making love, sleeping with you in my arms, thanking my lucky stars every night, waking up to your beautiful face every morning. That’s what I want.”
My gaze dropped to his hand, tightly curled around something. In one fluid motion, he dropped to his knee. His fingers unfurled to reveal a black velvet box.
Yes.
The word I should’ve said the morning before resounded through my head as my eyes darted between the box and his face.
Cityscape Affair Series: The Complete Box Set Page 91
