Slowly they realized Pearl’s chest wasn’t rising and falling any longer. Evalene rocked herself back and forth, sobbing into Jeremiah’s shirt as her mother’s hands grew cold.
They stayed like that for a long time.
“She’s gone,” Noble said finally.
Evalene couldn’t think, couldn’t move. Only one thought repeated in her head, over and over. She whispered it out loud, “I just found her.”
EPILOGUE
Pearl’s Funeral
THE FUNERAL IN EDEN was nothing like that day three months ago when the five of them gathered in the dark over a forest grave.
No, this procession was filled with former high Number’s who’d known Pearl, including Evalene’s father, Byron, who wept openly next to Evalene, despite Ruby’s glower. The woman knew better than to make a scene though, not only because Evalene was surrounded by her friends, but also because Byron had told Ruby one more objection against his only daughter and they were through.
Excluding Ruby’s presence, this service had every nice thing a funeral should have. A beautiful, stately building with sunlight shining down on them through the stained-glass windows. Vases filled to the brim with flowers covered every available inch of space along the walls, the front, and at the start of every aisle.
The only thing it didn’t have was her mother’s body.
Evalene’s eyes were dry. She’d cried all her tears over the last three months, especially that first day.
Three months ago, they’d brought Pearl’s body to the small cabin in the woods she’d shared with Noble. By the time they arrived, and dug a hole for her casket, the first hint of dawn had been peeking through the trees.
Word had spread in the small town, when Noble went to buy a casket, and a small crowd of Pearl’s friends and acquaintances had gathered. They stood, staring down into the casket and the hole in the ground. Noble’s face revealed his pain clearly; he wept without shame.
Evalene stood alone to the side among the tall trees, tears continuing to flow without ceasing. She felt devastated. Numb. None of this seemed real, and she stood watching everything happening around her in a daze. When Noble spoke, his voice was gravelly, “Any last words?”
Men and women stepped forward, taking turns saying kind things about her mother, but Evalene couldn’t hear them. Their voices faded into the background. She selfishly wished they weren’t there, and when it was her turn, she stepped up to the casket, whispering for only her mother to hear, “I love you too, mom.” She touched Pearl’s cold hand before stepping back.
Jeremiah and Noble closed the casket and carefully lowered it on ropes into the ground. Noble took the shovel and scooped a small pile of dirt into the hole. He held it out to Evalene. She shook her head, pulling back from the group of people, further into the trees. It was hard to breathe.
Others in the group came forward to take the shovel when she declined. Each one carefully scooped up a pile of dirt, dropping it onto the wooden casket below with a thud that echoed in the morning silence.
Olive looked to Evalene when it was her turn, her face questioning if she should join in this tradition or refrain. Evalene nodded for her to go ahead. Sol and Jeremiah each took a turn after her. As they stood on the side, Evalene watched Olive scoot closer and closer to Sol until he caught on, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his side. When the shovel circled back to Noble, he set to the real job of filling it in.
It wasn’t until later that he told her the meaning behind everyone taking a turn. Like a last handshake or hug, the shovel of dirt symbolized the final goodbye.
Evalene had crept back outside alone that night to sit next to the fresh mound of dirt and the rugged cross resurrected at the front of it. She’d scooped up a small handful of rich brown dirt, placing it on top of the mound, packing it in gently. “Goodbye, mom,” she’d whispered.
As she stood here now among the other Eden citizens these three months later, all she could think was that she’d never told her mother she loved her back. Not once. Her mother had said it so many times, yet Evalene had never found the words. Not while she was still alive.
She stood for her turn to speak, making her way to the front of the room. Stepping up to the microphone, she cleared her throat.
There’d been a lot of things she’d wanted to say today, but the tightness threatened to choke her. So instead, she just looked up through the tears, meeting her father’s eyes, and then Jeremiah’s.
Jeremiah held her gaze, offering her silent support. His encouragement gave her strength, as it had every day the last three months. She took a deep breath and said simply, “I will see her again one day.” The reference to heaven caused some of the more superstitious in the room to suck in a breath. Whispers abounded in the quiet room at her heretical statement. How could anyone know they were going to heaven for sure? Who did she think she was, a priest? But Evalene ignored them. She knew, and equally important, so had her mother. That’s all that mattered.
After the service, Evalene hid in the coat room, behind a row of winter coats, the same way she had so many years ago on her Numbering Day. She couldn’t face anyone.
“I’m not coming home.” Olive stepped in with her parents and Grandma Mae. “And I don’t need to ask permission.” Evalene glimpsed Olive’s face between the hangers, so serious and capable as she turned to face her family. This would be an awkward time for Evalene to pop out from behind the coats. She shrank back.
Evalene couldn’t help but notice the way Olive’s family stared at their little girl impressed. Olive had grown and matured so much from their trip.
“I know,” Grandma Mae said with a small smile. “That’s why we came here to see you.”
“You know how she is with her visions,” Olive’s mother said. Evalene’s mouth fell open at the reminder. Back in Eden with her, standing in a church… which was exactly what had happened less than an hour ago. But they’d never imagined it would be her mother’s funeral. “She told us we had to come here because you wouldn’t come home. But you know you can change your mind.” Olive’s mother must have forgotten how stubborn her daughter was. Or maybe that trait was passed down from her.
“I love you, and I’ll come home for visits,” Olive crossed her arms, not letting them argue further, “But the Council needs my help to bring the tech here in Eden into the 23rd century.”
Sol stepped into the coat room behind them, joining the little circle. “She’s very talented,” he told them, backing her up. “We’d be lost without her.” Evalene regretted not announcing herself when they’d first walked in. If she stepped out now, they’d think she was crazy.
“Mom, Dad, Grandma Mae, this is my boyfriend, Sol,” Olive introduced him with a big grin. “He’s studying to become a doctor.”
“Oh, really?” Olive’s mother asked him. “What made you choose to change careers at this stage in life?”
“Mom!” Olive stood up for Sol, “I told you, these college programs in Eden are brand new!”
“It’s okay,” Sol placated Olive, smiling at her family. “I’ve always wanted to help people. I didn’t really have a choice in career before,” he stated the facts so simply that if Evalene didn’t know his story more she might’ve missed the pain behind that. “But now I have a chance to help with the pandemic. There are so many people with failed BioGrades who still need help—who didn’t die when the virus affected their BioGrades, but now they’re suffering from an arm or leg that doesn’t work, or an implant that’s grown infected, not to mention those who got to the hospital in time but are forced to depend on life support. I want to be a part of the solution.”
They moved out of the coat room, still talking, and Evalene heaved a breath of relief. She waited a beat before following, to find another place to hide.
She was curled up in a back room when Jeremiah found her. He held out his arms and she immediately stepped into them, grateful. He was warm and comforting.
“Any chance you’re feeling
ready to join us on the Council again?” His voice rumbled in his chest against her face. “I talked to Luc, and we were thinking it might be good for you.”
“You’ve been handling the effects of the virus just fine without my help,” Evalene said into his shirt. She didn’t know if she could face learning the full consequences of the virus her own mother had set loose on the world. Not just yet.
“That’s okay,” Jeremiah said, “There’s always a place for a former member on the Council, if you ever choose to come back.” He stepped back. “I got you something.”
“Mmm?” she murmured, letting go reluctantly.
“It’s not much,” Jeremiah said, pulling something from behind his back with a small shrug of discomfort. “I hope it doesn’t upset you… I wasn’t sure if I should give it to you at all,” he held out a small glass jar with the lid sealed tightly, “But I thought if I was ever going to, it should be today.”
He held out the little jar and Evalene peered at the dark substance inside. It was dirt. A deep, rich dirt unlike anything found in Eden’s deserts.
She stepped closer to him to accept it. Looking up into his eyes just a few inches from her own.
“It’s… from her grave,” he said when she didn’t speak.
Evalene nodded. She’d known right away.
“Thank you,” she whispered, throat squeezing tight. She tilted her face up to his and pulled him down to kiss her. Against his lips, she murmured, “It means a lot.”
It meant a great deal more than that. And so did he. But she’d danced around the words for months. Pulling away she stared into his eyes, so kind and loving, so patient with her during this time.
She needed to say it now.
Her regret of never saying it to her mother floated around her. She knew if she could bring herself to say the words, it would free her.
Setting the jar of dirt on the table next to them, she wrapped her arms around him and stared up into his eyes. “I need to tell you something.”
“I can tell,” he said. And kissed her again.
“But I still need to tell you,” she whispered, eyes closed.
“I’m ready,” he smiled against her lips. She gazed up into his eyes, finally finding her own smile that had been missing the last few months. “Jeremiah Bloom,” she began, swallowing hard.
“Yes?”
“I love you.”
“I can tell,” he repeated with a grin. A weight lifted off her chest, replaced by joy, as she laughed with him.
THE END
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Acknowledgments
This writing life is an absolute gift from God – I’m so thankful every day that I’ve FINALLY found a career I’m passionate about. Took long enough! My sweet hubby has experienced every possible mood swing a writer could have and yet somehow he still supports my dream, which is crazy cool and means the world to me. Love you babe! Huge thank you to my amazing, incredible, wonderful beta readers who read yet another unfinished, plot-focused draft without complaint and offered insights that drastically changed the story for the better: A. M. Felten, Amy Olson, Ashley Price, Charity Ryan, Gina Sansom, Lia Anderson, Meghan Morrison, Regan Rose, T. L. Peterson, Valerie Wheeler, and V. Renae, and an especially huge shout out to my critique partner, Brittany Wang – who not only beta read multiple times, but is the main reason behind all the Pearl chapters! To everyone who proofread and saved me from a lot of embarrassment: Bri R. Leclerc, Bruce Cox, Kris Cox, and Mandi Lynn, I appreciate your attention to detail and willingness to read the story in such a short time! To Jessi Elliott and Kim Chance: thank you for your kind words about Pearl’s Number that I get to put on the back of this book and proudly share with everyone! And as always, to YOU, my reader, I’ve got to say the very fact that you’ve read this book still blows my mind. Seriously. I appreciate you more than you know, and sincerely hope you enjoyed the story, because I have so many more to offer. Until next time, happy reading!
Bethany Atazadeh is a Minnesota-based author of YA novels and children’s books. She graduated from Northwestern College in 2008 with a Bachelor of Arts degree in English with a writing emphasis. After graduation, she pursued songwriting, recording, and performing with her band, and writing was no longer a priority. But in 2016, she was inspired by the NaNoWriMo challenge to write a novel in 30 days, and since then she hasn’t stopped. She is passionate about God, her husband, writing, music, and dogs, specifically her Corgi puppy, Penny.
CONNECT WITH BETHANY ON:
Website: www.bethanyatazadeh.com
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