He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. “Why are you sorr …” Understanding dawned on his face. I prepared for him to let go of me and push me away. Instead, he shocked me completely by crushing my head to his chest. I felt his warm lips pressed to the top of my head—all my resistance vanished and I melted into him again, relishing the warmth of his body pressed to mine and the feel of his hot breath in my hair.
The faint sounds of music drifted to my ears from the party in the distance. I closed my eyes, exhausted from the night’s events, and shuddered as a picture of maggots and wolf hair invaded my mind. I quickly opened my eyes.
“We should get you home. Are you hurt anywhere? Will you be able to walk okay?” Johnathan spoke quietly, almost in a whisper.
“I … don’t know if I’m hurt. I think I’m okay … physically anyway,” I said.
He sighed and loosened his hold. “Okay, let me help you up. Move slowly, in case you are hurt.”
Johnathan crouched next to me, placed one strong arm around my back and offered me his other hand as a way to pull myself up. First, I had to untangle my legs from the tree branches—which triggered a flashback and a bout of terror that caused me to clamp down hard on Johnathan’s hand with both of mine.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he asked.
Not hurt, just terrified, I thought. My throat was too constricted to speak so I just shook my head.
“Hey, guys, come give us a hand here. Help Paige get her legs untangled,” Johnathan said just loud enough for Seth and Alec to hear.
They hurried over and pulled my legs from the branches. I exhaled the breath I’d been holding and Johnathan helped me stand. I clung to him as a wave of dizziness swept over me and I felt his strong arm tighten around my waist. We stood for a few minutes until I was sure the dizziness had passed. Alec and Seth had deep frowns on their faces as they watched me closely.
“What happened, Paige?” Alec asked. “What’s going on with you?”
“Let her recover a little before you start giving her the third degree, Alice,” Johnathan said.
“It’s okay.” I looked at Alec and answered, “They had some of that liquid stuff that was at the party, in the tanks—only Big Lips over there said it was a special, extra-strong dose just for me. When I blew him off me with a spell, he dropped it and some of it spilled into my mouth. I can’t imagine how bad it would have been if they’d made me drink the whole thing.” I shuddered.
Seth bent down and picked up the plastic container where it had fallen. A small bit of liquid remained inside. He secured the lid and placed the bottle in his pocket. He looked up to see us all staring at him and said with a shrug, “Maybe I can figure out what’s in this stuff.”
“Just be super cautious with it. It’s horrible,” I said.
“So, what did it do to you?” Alec asked. “Why were you screaming your brains out?”
I looked at him and flinched when I saw a small Faerie still flying near his head. I’d hoped the effects had worn completely off—but seeing that Faerie caused me to think they probably hadn’t.
“What?” Alec asked as he searched the area above his head to see what had caught my attention.
“You don’t see anything?” I asked, hopeful that maybe there really was a Faerie circling his head and it wasn’t the Sentience at all.
Alec looked at me through squinted eyes, his head tilted sideways. “Nooo … do you see something?”
I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut, but only for a couple of seconds. The monsters were still there when I closed my eyes. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, again—at least this time I had the sobs somewhat under control with just a small hitch every few breaths. My throat hurt. I was exhausted. I was scared. And, I was drugged. This had not been a good night. Even having Johnathan there next to me, holding me, wasn’t enough to erase the horrors.
Alec looked anxiously from me to Johnathan. “Maybe I see something … maybe I just looked in the wrong place. What am I looking for? I’ll look again.”
I laughed as I continued to cry.
“Let’s get you home,” Johnathan said.
We set off in a direction that would skirt far around the party-house. My legs felt all wobbly and I was glad for Johnathan’s support. I worried about being so close to him and the strong possibility it would cause another animalistic response from him. I kept expecting him to push me away after the shock of the fight wore off. But he didn’t. He held me close and lent me his strength.
The drug continued to play with my mind on the long walk home. I saw things everywhere. A homeless man hunched in the threshold of a building turned into a praying mantis with hundreds of red eyes. It lunged for me and I let out a nearly silent scream that would have burst some eardrums if my vocal cords hadn’t been pushed past their limits. A short burst of psychotic-sounding, wheezing laughter came as a purple fish wearing a top hat and carrying a tiny cane floated past. I flinched and let out a squeak as a star exploded in front of my face. This barrage continued as we walked.
After each sighting I had, Alec would ask, “What’s wrong, Paige? What do you see?” And, every time he asked, I would just shake my head, unable to speak.
Finally, Johnathan and Seth yelled at him to shut up and stop asking.
The Underground was the worst by far. Except for the limb-stealing trees, that is. As soon as we descended below, the monsters came out in force to torment my flimsy mind. Seth went down the stairs first, and when he turned to look up at us, his face twisted into a mask of horror. Millions of spiders spewed from his mouth, eyes, ears and nostrils. The spiders headed straight for me, growing larger as they approached. I ripped out of Johnathan’s grip and turned to run, screaming silently. My rubbery legs couldn’t keep up with the terror-adrenaline racing through my body and I tripped on the step that led out to the city above. I smacked my head hard when I went down, but not hard enough to knock me out, unfortunately. I rolled down the three or four steps to where Johnathan was just turning to follow me. He stopped my descent, grabbed me around the middle and lifted me up. I looked into his face, still hysterical, and saw the Wolf-demon again—worse this time because it was staring at me with its hungry predator eyes.
To my drug-ravaged mind it was real and it wasn’t my Johnathan. I fought for my life, scratching at its face. It roared as my fingernails hit home and sunk into the soft skin around its eyes. I swear I could feel its teeth sink into the center of my neck as I continued to scream my sickening silent scream.
Someone wrapped their hands around my arms and I fought those, too. They dragged me off the steps and down to the more stable footing of the Underground sidewalk.
“Just hold her down for a minute … until she calms down. We’ll never get her home like this—not without serious injury to her and us,” the Wolf-demon growled.
Seth held my right arm. A lone spider jumped from his face directly at my eyes. I shook my head with frantic, exaggerated movements. I caught sight of Alec, holding my left arm. His mouth was twisted up into a demented smile, rimmed with grotesque clown makeup made of blood and pus. His eyes spun like a top and his throat was slit from ear to ear, leaking black, tar-like liquid.
They held me up against a brick wall. My strength was waning. I closed my eyes and slumped to the ground, led there gently by their hands. Wait, that doesn’t make sense. Why would these monsters be gentle? Nothing made sense. Exhaustion took over. I lowered my head and continued to take rapid, shallow breaths.
Then, he was there, kneeling in front of me. He stroked my face and spoke gently, like he was trying to calm a frightened bird. “Paige, you’re okay, you’re safe. Nothing’s going to hurt you.” My Johnathan. The spell broke when I heard his voice quiver and my heart ached at the sound.
I looked in his eyes and was relieved to see they were, indeed, his eyes. I tried to reach for him, but Alec and Seth still held my arms. “John? What’s happening to me?”
“Let her go, guys,” he never took his
eyes from mine. “I don’t know exactly what’s happening, Paige, but I know it’ll be all right. We’ll figure this out and the drug’ll wear off. I want you to let me carry you the rest of the way. Just hide your eyes and think good thoughts. We’ll be home soon.”
I nodded. He didn’t give me a chance to stand up, just scooped me up in his arms and stood. I barely had enough energy to wrap my arms around his neck. I buried my face in his shoulder and thought of the first time he’d held my hand. I fantasized about what our first date would be like. I breathed in his scent. And … I refused to close my eyes or look at anything but Johnathan’s shirt.
The only sounds on the way home were those of the boys’ feet on the ground and Johnathan’s breathing. By the time we reached our Underground haven, I felt like my mind was on the mend. For the time being. Who knew what the long-term effects would be.
Halli met us at the bottom of the stairs where Johnathan lowered me to the ground.
“Hal,” Johnathan said, “Paige has had a rough night. Will you go help her get ready for bed, please? We’ll fill you in once she’s settled.”
“Of course. Come on, Paige. You look awful,” she took my arm and walked with me to our shared room.
I fell unconscious as soon as I lay down.
y head hurt where I’d whacked it against the stairs the night before. I was surprised I felt no obvious ill effects of the drug—like in a hung-over, hugging-the-toilet kind of way.
The last one to wake, I emerged from the bathroom to three apprehensive stares and one mostly curious one—the curious one being Halli, as she hadn’t been witness to my multiple displays of insanity.
Johnathan wouldn’t meet my gaze. “How’re you feeling?” he asked, looking down at the dishes he was drying.
“Um … okay, I guess. My throat feels like I swallowed a cactus, but other than that …” I shrugged. I really didn’t feel like talking; it was difficult to force air through my ravaged vocal cords and my voice came out in a squeaky whisper.
“Are you hungry? We saved you some lunch.” Halli slid a covered plate across the bar to where I stood.
I really wasn’t hungry. I removed the aluminum foil from the plate and picked up a fork. Then set it back down, shaking my head.
“You really should try to eat something, Paige,” Johnathan continued to avoid my eyes. “At least drink something.” He set a tall glass of water in front of me. I was more than a little devastated that Johnathan had reverted back to the antisocial, scared-to-look-at-me version of his new self.
“Are you gonna tell us what you saw last night?” Alec asked.
“Give her a break, Alice, she just woke up and has no voice,” Johnathan said.
“Come on, Johnny, you know you want to know what that stuff made her see, too. I’ve never heard anyone scream like that before in my life! It must have been horrible to make Paige scream like that.”
“Alec …” The glass Johnathan held in his hand shattered. We all stared at him in silence as he dropped the remaining glass shards to the floor and wiped the blood from his hand onto his pants. The cool, calm, and collected Johnathan from the previous night had vanished, replaced by the high-strung, on-edge, ready to explode Johnathan we’d been seeing the last few weeks. Gold flecks glinted in his brown eyes.
He walked from behind the bar and toward the stairs.
I stood to follow him, calling out to him to wait for me, but my voice only produced a small squeak. He must have heard the sound, because he stopped walking long enough for me to catch up. We silently climbed the stairs; he stayed a few steps above me. He took down the wards when we reached the exit of the ruined room above our home and I followed him out onto the Underground sidewalk. The darkness and the smell of mold, though familiar, seemed worse than usual.
He walked a few paces, then stopped, his back to me.
I waited.
“Paige,” he finally said. “I don’t … last night …” He slammed his fist into the wall he faced. Small pieces of brick flew around him. He lowered his head and breathed heavily.
“John,” I whisper-croaked. “I’m pretty sure I know what you want to say. Our deal isn’t broken just because you were able to control yourself last night. You still want me to stay away from you.” I know I could have worded that differently so it didn’t sound like I was blaming him, but it hurt me that he couldn’t tolerate me near him. And my childish side wanted to make sure he knew it.
His hands tightened into fists and it took him a moment to respond. “You know I don’t want you to stay away. I need you to—for your own safety.” He turned to face me, looking me in the eyes for the first time that day.
“Last night, I think I used up all the hormones or adrenaline or whatever makes me act like a rabid animal.” He paused and drew a deep, shaky breath before continuing in a slightly less angry tone. “I used it all up on those scumbags that were hurting you. Then, you were so freaked out, screaming … your eyes were crazy. I was afraid … so afraid, that you were lost … that I would never see you again … just those crazy eyes darting back and forth … looking at things that weren’t there. I was so scared your mind was blown like all those kids at the school.”
He sat on the remains of the centuries-old sidewalk and lowered his head to his arms, folded on bent knees.
I wanted to go to him, to comfort him as he had me the night before. But I sat a safe distance away and waited for him to collect himself.
Finally, he looked up, but not at me this time. He stared at the dilapidated building across the street and started chucking pieces of broken stone at it. “Anyway, I could handle being close to you last night. The fight, the fear, all the adrenaline spent—it all made me forget about the … the beast I’ve become … and, I could handle it. I could be close to you and help you, and comfort you …”
He was suffering. More so than I was. I felt like a real jerk for having played the guilt card.
“It’s okay. I understand. It was a one-time thing and I’m forever grateful to you. I wouldn’t have survived without your help and strength. I’ll keep my distance, like I promised. Don’t worry,” I said. And I will find a way to fix this. Soon.
“I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this,” Johnathan whispered, almost to himself. He threw a rock hard enough to break a large piece of brick off of the opposing wall. “I want to be near you, Paige. I hope you know that. I want that more than almost anything. But I won’t compromise your safety for my own wishes. I can’t. It has to be this way for your safety. Maybe I should just leave …”
“Don’t say that ever again. Ever. You aren’t going anywhere. We’ll find a way to fix this, John, I promise.” I wanted to tell him I was close to figuring out a way, but I didn’t want him to start asking questions about how. There was no way he would be okay with what I was planning. No way.
“I’m just being realistic, Paige. There is no way to fix this. If it gets any worse … if I even come close to losing control again … I will leave. I have to.”
Oh, he infuriated me! The fact that I had no voice was probably a good thing because I would’ve let him have it—loudly. However, because my voice was nothing but a whisper of sound, I picked up a broken brick and chucked it at him instead. Not hard, just hard enough to get his attention.
“No, Johnathan. It won’t come to that. You will not leave me.” With that, I walked back into our hidden home and left him to brood in the dark, damp street.
Alec and Halli still sat at the bar and Seth had just finished cleaning up the broken glass Johnathan had crushed in his hand.
I sat at one of the tables and laid my head on my arms. The pounding headache I’d expected upon awakening had finally arrived. It could have been triggered by stress, from falling on the stairs, or from ingesting a horrible drug, or possibly from all three.
Seth spoke quietly, like he didn’t want me to hear what he said, “We need to tell her. It’s coming up fast and we need to plan for it this time. Halli, why don’t you
go tell her?”
“I’ll tell her,” Alec didn’t try to keep me from hearing him.
“Let’s all go talk to her. It isn’t like it’s a surprise or anything. She knows it’s coming, too,” Halli said. She jumped down from the bar stool and came over to the table where I sat. Alec and Seth followed her.
I lifted my head and wheezed, “You guys aren’t very good at whispering. What do you need to tell me?”
Alec and Seth both looked at Halli. “It’s nothing you don’t already know, we’re just reminding you so we can plan ahead.”
“Reminding me of what?”
“Well, there’s another full moon tomorrow night …”
A distressed choking sound escaped my throat and I buried my face in my arms. “I know there’s a full moon tomorrow night. Do you think I haven’t been keeping track of when Johnathan would change into a monster again?” I had been keeping track, all the while hoping a cure would present itself. One hadn’t.
The others were silent for a minute.
“So …” Alec broke the silence. “We should figure out what the plan is … you know, for Johnathan … so he doesn’t go on a killing rampage.”
“Alec, seriously. Do you have to be such a jerk?” Seth snapped.
“I’m not being a jerk, I’m just being realistic.”
“We all know why we need a plan, Alec. You didn’t need to spell it out for us. You’re so insensitive sometimes.” Halli said, then placed her hand on my arm in support.
I sat up straight. No time for further wallowing. “Thanks for reminding me. You’re right. We do need a plan. I think we should go back to the park we were at last time. The place was pretty secluded and was easy for us to ward. What time do you think we should go? Early enough that we can prepare the circle in plenty of time.” I was out of breath by the end of that short speech. I used up a lot of extra energy to force air through my battered vocal chords.
Five: Out of the Dark Page 15
