by Chunichi
Jimmy’s face was tight. He looked pained at the sight of his long-time friend lying dead in front of him.
“Come on, let’s take care of this,” Jimmy said, signaling in the direction of Deuce’s dead body.
I took his shoulders, and Jimmy took his feet, and we moved Deuce’s body into the bathtub. Jimmy left the bathroom and returned with two saws and a couple of butcher knives. We began the process of chopping Deuce’s body into pieces. We wrapped the parts up in garbage bags and placed them into storage bins. We threw them into the trunk, and Jimmy and I drove to the Chesapeake Bay Bridge in silence. I knew this must have been hard for Jimmy, but we both knew the business, so there was no need to talk about it.
Seeing things like this made me never want to get close to nobody. I would hate to have to kill my best friend over some shit like this. In my opinion, there is no room for friendship in this game. I would learn everything I could from Jimmy, but I wasn’t going to get too attached to liking this dude. If the day ever came where I had to take him out, I didn’t want it to be hard on me mentally or emotionally.
We stopped at the bridge and emptied the trunk, being careful that no one saw what we were doing. It seemed like each splash echoed for miles, it was so quiet.
“That was hard,” Jimmy said when all the bins had been dumped.
I didn’t say anything. I just shook my head. I didn’t know if he meant killing his best friend and chopping him up or throwing those heavy-ass bins into the water.
For the next few weeks, Jimmy and I worked the streets ourselves, never once mentioning what had happened. It was an understanding that we had. It seemed to take Jimmy a few days to get out of the funk he was in after killing Deuce.
Soon, it came out that Deuce wasn’t paying people their agreed-upon cuts. People on the street were pissed. Deuce would short them and just keep stalling when they came to get the rest of their money. Word of mouth about Jimmy’s operation was not good. He was blacklisted; no one wanted anything to do with his business. Jimmy’s empire was fucked up, but I knew he had every intention of putting it back together, and I planned on being by his side the entire way.
“Deuce was right about me taking to you so well,” Jimmy commented one day while we were on the road collecting money.
“Feeling’s mutual, man,” I told him. “From day one I looked up to you. You always gonna be cool with me. You picked me up in a big way when I was down.”
“It’s more to it than that. I’m just gon’ be straightforward with you, man.” Jimmy paused for a minute and looked out the window at the passing buildings. He continued to look away from me. “Touch, I’m your grandfather. I’m your father’s father.”
“What?” I said, shocked and in disbelief. I almost ran off the fucking road. “My mother told me my father had passed. I never knew the man.”
“Boy, I know. He is alive and well in Connecticut.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. I had mixed emotions inside. How could I have gone so long thinking my dad was dead and this entire time he was living in another state? Why did my moms lie to me? I couldn’t understand why she would do that. Why didn’t Jimmy come to me sooner and tell me who he was? I wanted to hug him and punch him all at the same time. My mind was going in a million directions. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to fight. I was crazy confused.
I slammed on the brakes and made a U-turn.
“Where you going, boy?” Jimmy asked.
“I’ve gotta talk to my moms about this shit, man. I’m all fucked up in the head right now.”
We went back and forth for a second about whether that was a good idea, but in the end Jimmy agreed to come with me to my mom’s house. I had to know the truth. Growing up without a father because my mother purposely wanted it that way was fucked up.
I raced over to my mom’s house, not caring that I was breaking the speed limit and in danger of getting pulled over by the cops.
Jimmy and I walked into my mother’s living room. I called out to her. “Mom!”
“Touch, is that you? I cooked some lunch. Do you want”—The bowl of grits in her hands fell to the carpet when she saw Jimmy’s face.
“Why? Why would you lie to me about my father?” I asked with tears in my eyes.
“I knew this day would come but not so soon.” My mom turned toward Jimmy. She looked defeated. “What did you tell him, Jim?”
“Not much. I’ll leave the explaining up to you.”
“Trayvon, sit down, baby.” My mom pointed to a bar stool that sat at the breakfast bar to the kitchen. “Your uncles, my brothers, used to work for Jimmy back in the day. That’s how I met your father. We both were very young when I got pregnant, and I knew my mother would never approve of the baby or him. Momma forced me to live with my aunt in Alabama ‘til I gave birth to you, and then I could move back. She was ashamed and didn’t want her beloved church members to know I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. When I returned I learned that your father and my cousin were in a relationship. That tore me apart, Trayvon. You don’t understand. I loved that man. When he cheated on me, it killed me. I couldn’t bear the pain. From that day forth, I vowed I would never speak to him again.”
I felt her pain and definitely understood where she was coming from, but I still didn’t agree with her decision. I felt like she had deprived me of a relationship with my father my entire life. So many nights I would lie in my bed and wish I had a dad to talk to, to ask for advice. I may never have gotten into the drug game if he had been around. I should have been allowed to make my own decisions about my father.
“Mom, you should have told me. You just can’t make decisions on my life like that,” I screamed at her and walked out. I needed time to process everything that was just said to me. I didn’t know how to handle all of the emotions I was feeling, so I just jetted.
I dropped Jimmy off back at his house. On the way back to his place, I didn’t say a word to him. I was angry with him and didn’t want to hear his bullshit at the moment. I told him that I needed a few days off to clear my head. He agreed that it was a good idea. We said a sorrowful good-bye, and I drove back to the hotel, my head pounding from all the emotions and stress I was feeling.
I stopped at the front desk, and they gave me some Advil for my headache. But what I needed right at the time more than anything was to talk to Jewel. She was the only one that could comfort me. She knew how much I had longed for a father in my life. She would be able to understand my pain and anguish. I called the realtor and pretended I was interested in buying the house but would only speak to Jewel. It took a little convincing, but she finally gave me the number.
“Hey,” I said as soon as she answered.
“Hey,” she said back in a flat tone.
“You busy?” I asked her.
“Not really. Right now I’m free, but I have a doctor’s appointment later on today.”
“Is everything okay?” I asked, truly concerned that something was wrong with the baby.
“Everything is fine. I’m just going for a checkup.”
“Okay, cool. Well, can you meet at Mahi Mah’s by the oceanfront? I really need to talk to you.”
“Okay, I will meet you. But don’t try no stupid shit because I won’t hesitate to shoot your ass.”
Chapter 25
Jewel
“‘Til Death Do Us Part”
“Are you sure you don’t need me to go with you?” Misty asked, while giving me a hug. “I don’t mind.”
I had come back to Virginia to go to the doctors and take care of a few things, and Misty was nice enough to let me sleep at her place. Well, I’m sure the fact that we were having sex every night didn’t hurt. Anyway, lucky for Touch, I was in town because if I was in DC, I would never have agreed to meet up with him.
“I’ll be fine,” I said with a fake smile.
The truth was, I felt sick to my stomach and vomited again the previous night. At the time, Misty was asleep and didn’t hear me. If she knew I d
idn’t feel well, she would have insisted on coming along with me. It was strange, but it felt nice sleeping next to Misty. Plus, she was pampering me constantly. No man had done that to me for a while.
“Just in case I’m not home, here is your own house key,” she said, handing it to me.
“Thank you.” I nodded.
“Have a great day. Hopefully, you won’t run into traffic,” Misty yelled, as I headed out the door.
I rushed to the oceanfront to meet Touch. I prayed everything would go well, and I could eat and get out in time to make my doctor’s appointment. When I walked in the restaurant, I saw Touch right away. The hostess met me at the door. After she sat me down at the table where Touch was sitting, I looked into his eyes. Surprisingly enough, I felt nothing for him at all. I guess, once my mind was made up, my heart had no choice but to follow the same path as well. It’s funny, because the way I used to feel when I looked into Touch’s eyes was the way I felt when I looked into Misty’s eyes.
While we ate lunch Touch revealed the story about his mother lying about his father being dead. The whole story was just so sad. Maybe if Touch’s father had been in his life, he wouldn’t have turned out the way he did. Listening to the story though, I kept thinking, Like father, like son. Touch’s dad was a cheat, and so was his son. Still, I felt sympathy for Touch. All the years we were together, he always wished he could see his father. I felt his mother was very selfish and only thinking about herself.
“Listen, Jewel, I need you to come back home. I love you, and I miss you. I’m sorry for everything I put you through. Hearing this story about my father makes me want to be a great father to our baby and a better man for you,” Touch pleaded, touching my hand.
“Touch, I can’t do that,” I stated, shaking my head and removing my hand from his.
“Why? We have been together too long to just end it.”
“Yeah, that’s what I used to think. Touch, you have hurt me so bad. As bad as your father hurt your mother, maybe even worse. At least he never laid his hands on her like you did to me. I’m tired, and I have reached my limit. Besides, the house is going to be sold next week. In fact, I’m meeting with the realtor at the house today at six to finalize a few things. I’ve moved on with my life, Touch. I moved out of Virginia over a month ago.”
“Why would you do that without talking to me first? I understand if you don’t want to be with me, but what about our baby? How can I be a father to my child if you’re in an entirely different state? It will be like my father and me.”
“Enough of the baby talk,” I spat, frustrated. It was time he knew the truth. “There is no damn baby, Touch.”
“What?”
“You heard me, Touch. I had an abortion, okay. You were on the run, and we were having major problems in our relationship. I didn’t know how or when I would see you, and I barely had enough money to take care of myself, much less a baby. There was no way I could bring a child into a situation like that. There was no way I would want my child to have an unstable father like you.”
“Bitch!” He reached for my throat.
I quickly jumped up and threw my water in his face. “Don’t make me pull out on you,” I said, going into my purse to grab my gun.
Touch called me every name in the book using every profanity you can think of. He pushed the table over, and people all over the restaurant began to stare at us.
I pulled my gun out and pointed it at Touch. Everyone in the restaurant scattered. We had a little standoff, neither of us saying anything, just staring into each other’s eyes.
Finally, Touch left with tears in his eyes, but I refused to shed a tear for that fucker. I calmly put my gun away, paid the bill for the little that we ate, and left the restaurant.
On the way to the doctor’s office, I started thinking about everything that just happened, and I actually started to feel a little guilty for what I did. I realized by the tears in Touch’s eyes that he really wanted a son. Touch had twin girls that he loved dearly, but because of a domestic dispute between him and his baby mother, he hadn’t seen them in months. My baby was probably his only hope of filling that void. Now with the news of his father and everything else, he was fragile. I began to get a little choked up as I pulled up to the doctor’s office, but again I refused to drop a tear.
I probably should have told him sooner that I’d had an abortion, but I was afraid that he would’ve put a beating on me when I told him. I didn’t know what I would do when the time came for me to have the baby, but I knew I was going to avoid telling him for as long as I could. Oh well, Touch brought this all on himself.
The waiting room was empty when I arrived. “Hello. I’m here for my appointment,” I announced as I walked to the receptionist’s desk to sign in.
“Hi, Jewel. Fill out these forms. Here is a pen. After that, I will need a urine sample from you for a routine check. The urine cups are in the bathroom with your patient information already labeled on it,” the receptionist said to me.
I loved this doctor’s office. They had everything all ready for me. All I had to do was show up, and they took care of it all. So much better than the ghetto clinics I used to go through. Those places were third world.
“Thank you,” I replied, nodding.
On the form, I decided to put Misty’s address as my current address. To be honest, I was feeling Misty and had decided to tell her I wanted to move in when I got home later. It just felt right to me. She treated me the way no man had ever treated me. We’d started out as friends, and it was so easy to talk with her. It just seemed natural to me that we would be lovers. Every time I thought of her, I would smile.
With the form filled out and my mood feeling good, I went to the restroom and tried my best to pee, but I couldn’t get even a tinkle. I went back to the waiting room for a while to wait it out.
Ten minutes later I went back into the bathroom, but I still couldn’t pee. I didn’t know what was going on with me. I was getting sick a lot, and now I couldn’t pee. I was getting a little concerned that there might be something seriously wrong with me.
“Excuse me,” I said to the nurse behind the counter. “Do you have any water?”
“Honey, are you having trouble giving us a urine sample?” she inquired.
“Yes, I am.” I laughed, a bit embarrassed.
“There’s a water fountain down the hall. Drink till your heart is content. Wait fifteen minutes, and I’m sure nature will come calling.”
“Thank you,” I said and headed to the water fountain.
I guzzled four cups of water, and fifteen minutes later I certainly had to pee. The nurse’s plan worked. I peed about three times waiting for the doctor to come in. My legs felt cold as I sat there in the gown they had provided for me.
I thought of Misty and started daydreaming about our future together. I hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Touch had put me through so much, I had forgotten what happy really felt like.
I was brought back to reality from a knock on the door. I still had a huge smile on my face from my daydream when my doctor entered. “Come in,” I said.
“Jewel, sorry for the delay. I had a false alarm with another patient. How have you been?” Dr. Gills started looking over my chart.
“Okay. And you?”
“My kids are growing and eating everything in sight. My husband just bought another motorbike. Life is crazy.” Dr. Gills stopped talking as she read my chart. “Well, well, well, looking at your lab work, it looks like you may not be far behind me because you’re pregnant. Welcome to the crazy life of husband and kids,” Dr. Gills said with a huge grin.
“What?”
We instinctively hugged each other.
“Jewel, I didn’t stutter. You’re pregnant, honey. And based on your last period, you’re about six weeks.”
“Wow! Unbelievable!” I said, letting out a loud sigh. I was in a little bit of shock.
“Jewel, you have options, which we can discuss. Now I need to examine you. So
if you can just lie back.”
My brain was racing during the entire exam. How did this happen? I can’t believe I just told Touch there was no baby and there actually was. Now it made sense why I was getting sick so much lately. I can’t wait to tell Misty. What will Misty think? Does she even want kids? Even though I didn’t know how Misty felt about children, I wasn’t afraid to tell her, like I was with Touch. I wasn’t afraid of catching a beating from Misty. That was for sure.
After she finished, I requested the nurse perform a blood test to ensure the test results were accurate. Sure enough, the blood test confirmed what Dr. Gills had already told me. Now the reality really set in. I was going to be a mother.
Dr. Gills and I discussed all of my options. I could abort it, but I wasn’t going through that again. I could put it up for adoption, but I didn’t want my baby growing up in foster homes or going to a bad family. The only option I considered was having the baby and being the best damn mother I could be.
I was so happy when I left the doctor’s office. Driving home, I did some calculating, and if my calculations were right, Touch had gotten me pregnant as soon as he came home from jail. I panicked thinking about him. I didn’t know what to do. Should I tell him or keep it a secret?
I desperately needed to talk to Misty. Anytime I found myself in a bind or didn’t know what to do, she was always my savior. She had the answer to everything.
I rushed back to the house to talk to her. As I walked in, I heard my name, but it wasn’t being said to greet me. It was said like someone was talking about me. I paused at the front door. I heard Misty say on the phone, “Jewel has already agreed to testify, so that’s a wrap.”
I stood at the door and continued to listen.
“The case is solid this time,” Misty said. “Captain, no room for fuckup. In fact, I know where Touch is. We can do the sting tomorrow. I can’t wait to officially be back on the force.”
