Light (Beautiful Ashes #3)

by Lora Ann

  “Oh no! What happened?” Lacey ran toward them, softly stroking her sister’s head.

  “Things are…” Nik searched for the right word “…complicated.” The last thing he wanted to do was upset Keeley more, though his eyes leveled on E’s said it all: we’ve got a problem. Nik sat down with Keeley curled up in a tiny ball. His heart broke for her. And he wished more than ever Aimee was there to help. His wife always knew just what to say.

  E nodded toward Keeley. “What can we do to help you, little sister?” he asked while taking her tiny hand in his. The difference between his wife and her twin was remarkable. Lacey was athletic and tall where Keeley was pixie-like, easy to mistake for a young teenager.

  Her troubled brown eyes met his. “He hates me,” she hiccupped, “and now I’m going to lose him.”

  “No! That’s not true, Kee.” Lacey was right there comforting her sister. “Tar loves you with all his heart.”

  But Keeley knew what they didn’t. He was past furious with her, and nothing but loathing was in his gaze. Except…she tilted her head, remembering the slight flash in his eyes of something far from hate. Or, was that her wishful thinking at work? Either way, he was now fighting for his life. And somehow she’d pushed him over the edge. The sobs began again as Lacey leaned into her and kissed the top of her head. “I-I’m ge-get-ting exactly what I de-de-deserve,” she confessed before no one could understand her anymore.

  E reached over and gave her a little shake. “Stop that!”

  Nik chimed in, “Keeley, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Trust me. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. So many I’m not proud of. But one thing I’ve learned is that you can’t keep beating yourself up every time things go wrong.”

  “For fuck’s sake, Kee, look at the mess I made with my life,” E added. “This oh-woe-is-me bullshit has to stop.”

  “You can’t let these demons drag you under, Keeley,” Lacey pleaded.

  But Keeley was exactly where her demons wanted her, feeling sorry for herself. Made things easy for them as they whispered, “Worthless. Unlovable. Whore. No wonder Tar doesn’t want you near him. He deserves better than you.”

  God, how many times did she have to fight them? She didn’t have it in her anymore. If Tar no longer wanted her, loved her, then there wasn’t any point in it. She crawled off Nik’s lap and walked away from her family calling her name. She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t as strong as they thought. Keeley rounded the corner in time to see Tar’s room clear out. Trepidation filled her as she approached him, sleeping. She was cautious, leaning over and whispering in his ear, “I’ll always love you,” before kissing the side of his mouth. Shock filled her when a big hand fisted her hair and locked her lips to his. The kiss saying everything. Both pulled away breathless. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Tar reached up to catch them. “What’s wrong, Beautiful?”

  “Oh, my God, you don’t remember!”

  His face hardened. “I remember you giving up on us!” He pushed her away.

  She crossed her arms over her chest. “What the hell are you talking about? I didn’t give up!” Her voice rising on the last two words.

  “The fuck you didn’t,” he growled. “You. Let. Go.”

  Her wide-eyed gaze on his. “I couldn’t hang on. Are you actually blaming me for that?”

  Her finger tapping along the brace to make her point. “I sorta had a good reason!” she yelled, bringing Nik, E, and Lacey into the room.

  E carefully eyed them. “Hey, you two need to lower your voices.”

  “None of your fucking business, E,” Tar warned.

  Nik stepped up. “Calm the fuck down.”

  Tar’s eyes darted between the two brothers now standing in front of Keeley, forming a protective wall. A part of him respected the hell out of them for it. Another, wanted to beat the ever-loving shit out of them for stepping between him and the woman he loved. No matter how pissed off he was at her, he’d never hurt her. Didn’t they know that? He looked between them and settled his gaze on Keeley’s. “How’s your arm?”

  She swallowed hard, still bewildered it was halfway healed and that she wouldn’t need the brace for long. The doctor informed her that he didn’t see any complications arising if she took care of herself. She recalled how, once more, he was amazed by the unexplainable phenomenon. But Keeley knew the reason behind it all, her guardian angel. And as she stared at Tar, she knew he too received healing. Or did he? “What happened earlier?”

  “Ladies first.” His annoyance coming through for having to speak to her with bodyguards between them.

  E glanced over at Nik, nodding. They stepped to the side but close enough to help if Keeley needed it. That was not lost on Tar as he shot both a fuck-you look, earning him a deep chuckle from the brothers. Keeley took a step closer to the bed. “It doesn’t hurt. Breaks are clean and healing.”

  “That’s odd. I would’ve thought you’d be in that brace for a good six weeks.” He angled his head trying to figure it out.

  She huffed, “Don’t look at me like that.”

  His brow raised. “Like what?”

  “Like I’m a freak! And what about you?” Her irritation came through loud and clear.

  He reached for her hand, lightly stroking. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel foolish.”

  Her other hand was gently caressing his hairline. “Your head’s okay?”

  A cough interrupted them. “Listen, Tar. You promise to be a good boy?” E quirked a brow at him.

  “Yes, Dad,” Tar retorted.

  Nik added, “You better.”

  E chuckled and nudged Nik out of the room.

  Lacey was still sitting in a chair. “Okay if I go?” she asked Keeley.

  “We’re good,” Keeley replied, gazing into Tar’s amazing emeralds.

  Lacey politely closed the door behind her to give them privacy.

  “Come here,” Tar’s voice rumbled low as he pulled Keeley to him.

  She was now on top of him looking down at his handsome face. “Are you going to explain?”

  He cupped her jaw. “Just a concussion, which brought on a killer headache.”

  “Why were so many people in here then?” Her fingers threading his hair.

  “They thought I was a danger to myself.” He leaned up to tenderly nip along her lips.

  Her breathing hitched. “More like to me.”

  His tongue softly stroked the outside of her mouth. “That too.”

  “And the flash back you had?” She parted her lips more to give him access.

  “Common,” he growled before accepting her invitation.

  With each slide of their tongues, grip of their hands, Tar and Keeley were forgiving each other. Love mingled with need. Bodies demanding their union. Neither caring that anyone could walk in on them. The moment belonged to them and them alone.

  Tar was just about to relieve Keeley of her tee when a grating squeal stopped all motion. Cole darted in without a care in the world to where his uncle’s hands were located. Jumping right on top of both adults, “Uncle Tar!” he screeched.

  A quick tug brought Keeley’s shirt back in place as Tar ruffled Cole’s hair. “Hey, Buddy.”

  Keeley slid to Tar’s side making room for the rambunctious little boy. She smiled, listening to him ask, “Why you in this place?”

  “Well, Partner, I fell and hit my head.” Green eyes, as wide as saucers, stared at him. “They wanted to make sure I was okay.”

  Cole’s gaze raced along Tar’s head desperately searching for blood. When he saw no evidence that there had been any, he inquired, “You’re not bleeding. How come they want you to stay?”

  Tar winked as he turned his head, beckoning his nephew take a good long look. He guided questing little fingers along the large lump that indeed had sutures in its center. “This is why.”

  “Ohhhhhhhh,” Cole leaned forward nose to nose, “that’s gotta hurt.”

  “Yup.” Tar chuckled.

  Co
le used Tar’s muscled chest to push up from and began inspecting Keeley. “You fell too?”

  “I did, yes,” Keeley answered with a smile.

  “Can I write my name on that?”

  “You bet you can. I’ll find a marker.” She kissed Tar on the cheek before going in search for something he could use to write on the plastic.

  Cole stopped her. “Are you my auntie?”

  Keeley’s gaze sailed to Tar’s where his big beautiful smile said it all. She took the little boy’s hand in hers and affirmed, “I will be very soon.” Her neck now caught in a vice grip as Cole’s arms squeezed just a tad too tight. Good thing she wasn’t the one with a head injury.

  “Easy there, Buddy.” Tar worked to release Cole from Keeley. He was just about to say more when cold eyes captured his. Clearing his throat, he attempted to be kind in front of his nephew. “Lisa.”

  “Cole, come here,” she barked out.

  Tar watched him hang his head like he’d committed the worst offense. Something wasn’t right. He searched his memory, remembering he was furious with her, but lost on the why. Keeley had gone rigid, her eyes throwing daggers at his sister-in-law. Again, he attempted to recall exactly what happened. All his mind brought forward was Keeley falling from a window. Worst part was, the absolute heartbreak in her gaze as she’d locked it on his. Tar shook his head, hoping to bring the rest into focus, when that piercing pain took over once more.

  Keeley rushed over to help, knowing that look in his eyes. Tar was no longer there with her, Cole, or that bitch Lisa. No, he was somewhere amidst a fierce battle. She did the unexplainable. Instead of backing away from him, she got right in his face and grabbed his stubbled jaw. “I’m. Right. Here,” she assured, holding onto his wrath-filled gaze.

  “Who the hell are you?” he growled, latching on to the tiny wrist against his face.

  “Keeley.”

  “I don’t know a Keeley. Get your hands off me, lady.”

  Her eyes widened. How was this possible? Releasing his face and wrapping her arms around her middle, she studied him. “Tarius?”

  “Yeah,” he rumbled.

  A gasp drew all eyes to Lisa. “Oh, my God.”

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Tar’s voice instantly concerned.

  Keeley couldn’t stop herself. “Did you just call her baby?”

  He sneered at her. “Not that I owe you a damn thing, but of course I did. She’s my fiancée.”

  She stood there, jaw gaping. Words would not form. Keeley leveled a look at Lisa, begging her to tell him the truth. But that would’ve been kind, and Lisa wasn’t a kind woman. Instead, she sidled up to him and purred, “I’m right here.”

  Keeley turned and walked out before she ended up in jail for assault. Or worse…murder.

  Chapter Three

  Tar stared at the little boy standing beside him. “Uncle Tar?” Cole asked, stepping toward his mother.

  Tar’s eyes searched Lisa’s. “Who is he?”

  Cole began to cry and Tar reached for him. He might not know the boy but he didn’t mean to upset him. “Mommy?”

  Lisa’s gaze darted between her son and the man she wanted. How could she possibly pull off such a lie? Trying desperately to come up with something that made sense, then it clicked. “It’s okay,” she cooed while rubbing his head. “Let me talk to Uncle Tar alone. You can wait for me in those chairs outside the door.”

  His face lit up. “Can I draw pictures?”

  “Of course you can.” She walked over and grabbed a doddle pad and crayons, handing them over to Cole. He waved happily on his way out.

  Tar studied Lisa closely as she approached him. “What the hell?”

  Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she grabbed his hand. “You really don’t remember?”

  He pushed himself up further. “Tell me.”

  “Well, you were held captive by the enemy.” She glanced at him to see if he recalled that. By the look he gave her, he did not. Thank God! It’d been a risk she was willing to take. Now that she knew his memory was messing with him, she proceeded, “You’ve been gone a long time, Tarius. I married Chase. Cole is our son.”

  Tar yanked his hand away. “So I’ve been a POW, and you just thought—what the hell—I’ll marry his brother instead?!” His voice a low menacing growl.”

  “It wasn’t like that!”

  “Then what was it like?” Big arms folded over his chest as he leveled a hard stare at her.

  “Well…” she sighed, “I love you both. I have for a very long time. But I’ve come to realize I love you more.”

  “When did that happen?”

  She heard the doubt in his voice and knew she needed to stay as close to the truth as possible. “Chase has been taken by some ruthless men. You came to help find him.” She saw his brow scrunch and a tight nod followed. Perfect. Now, she could slide in a lie. “We didn’t mean for it to happen, Tar. But, well, our love for one another took over, and we recognized we were always meant to be together.” She let that seed plant, looking down before bringing her gaze back to his.

  Tar sat there stunned, doing everything he could to recall. He glanced up at her when a memory began to trickle: She was astride him. His big hand enfolded over her wrist as he brought her face to his. Something wasn’t right. But he couldn’t figure out what the hell was niggling him. “Who’s Keeley?” he blurted out.

  Lisa scoffed, “Your ex. She just can’t seem to let you go.”

  Tar had to admit Keeley did seem a bit desperate. “How’s Chase handling it?”

  She began to sob. He reached up and pulled her against his chest. “He’ll be okay, baby. Don’t worry,” he assured.

  She quickly realized what he’d assumed: Chase knew about them before he went missing. Lisa refused to enlighten him, acknowledging that this was better than anything she could’ve come up with. “I hope so, Tar.”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I know so,” he affirmed, but again, Tar just couldn’t shake the feeling there was more to this story. Each time he attempted to search his memory a stabbing pain took over. He closed his eyes. Maybe after a little rest it would all be clear.

  *****

  E caught up to a very pissed off Keeley. What the hell had happened with Tar? His gaze slid toward Nik leaning against the wall. He looked relaxed with his ankles crossed and arms hanging loosely at his side, but E knew better. Nik’s radar was on high alert as he met his brother’s questioning look. A slight nod of his head wasn’t missed by Keeley, either. “Oh, shut the fuck up!” she yelled.

  Both men eyed her carefully, recognizing a ticking time bomb when they saw one.

  “Kee, neither one of us said a word,” he pointed out the obvious.

  She spun on him with fury. “Yes you did! Your body language is saying it all.” Her hands came up as she pushed against the wall of muscle in front of her.

  E fought the smile that threatened the corners of his mouth. She was so damn tiny that all her effort was for naught. Nik gave him a disapproving glare as he pushed off the wall.

  “Hey, baby girl, why don’t you tell us what’s goin’ on. Then, we’ll know whose ass to kick.”

  That earned Nik a slight grin as she shot E another scathing glare. He had no clue what he’d done to earn her wrath but felt it best to back the fuck off. Hands up in surrender. “How ‘bout I go grab some coffee.”

  Nik didn’t miss her sigh. “You’re not mad at E. So why’s he your punching bag?” He studied her, curious.

  “He’s closest to Tar.” She huffed at how ridiculous that sounded even to her own ears.

  “I see.” He motioned toward the doors leading outside. “Let’s go for a walk.”

  She took a few deep cleansing breaths and began to spill everything that happened in the room with Tar. From the love they shared and forgiveness to the sudden pain resulting in his memory lapse. But there was more, something was just wrong. What that something was, had her baffled and on edge. Not to mention the shock added w
ith hurt, she was one big emotional mess. Everything in her demanded some form of release. Her nails dug deeply into her forearm until Nik pulled it free.

  “Self-harm isn’t your answer,” he said with a firm but gentle tone. “Tar’s suffering from PTSD alongside some type of amnesia. Ugly combination.” His forehead wrinkled with the lines of deep understanding.

  Keeley swiped at the tears flowing. “You’ve been there.” Not a question, she was aware of his past.

  “Yes, to some degree,” he admitted. “Aimee saved me.” The awe in his voice brought Keeley to her knees, sobbing. He knelt beside her, offering comfort. “You can do the same for Tarius. Keeley…you’re stronger than you realize.”

  She shook her head emphatically. “I’m pathetic. Look at me,” she screeched, feeling so utterly helpless.

  “I am,” he assured. “I see a survivor. A fucking warrior who just took one hell of a blow. But despite her fear, she will fight for the man she loves. There is no other choice.”

  Her gaze shot to his. Doubt, worry, and fear laced her next words. “What if it’s not enough? What if I lose him anyway?”

  He stood, pulling her with him. “Then you did every fucking thing you could. But find the resolve not to quit until you’ve exhausted all avenues.”

  E approached, his gaze shooting between them. “You have your marching orders?” he asked Keeley.

  Her small shoulders straightened. “Yes, sir. I do.” She turned and made her way back to the front doors. Tar was worth it. Their love was worth it. And that bitch, no matter the outcome, was going down.

  *****

  Keeley eased the door open to his room, scanning for her. Exhaling loudly as she slipped inside. No sign of Lisa anywhere. Her eyes darted at the movement in the shadows. Bad vibes began to creep under her skin. The blazing emeralds that met her gaze brought her foot back in retreat. He was Tar, but he wasn’t.

  The SEAL stood there studying his enemy. An old tactic that had been used for centuries: a woman used to weaken, seduce, draw out useful information to destroy. His voice a loud boom in the squall swirling around them. “You won’t succeed, whore.”